Summary: Michonne goes North and finds Rick. [Spoilers through Episode 7x05]
It was one of those motels that probably charged by the hour in the world before. The rickety faux steel railing leading to the upstairs rooms was faded to an off black from the constant exposure of the sun. The red doors were about ten years overdue for a touch-up and the paint had peeled into abstract designs. Splashes of spray painted graffiti decorated the orangeish brick; the most prominent announcing Darnell Loves Keisha. Michonne stood in the parking lot with a map spread out over the hood of the gray sedan and a pencil in hand. She'd marked off five spots starting a few miles away from Alexandria to where she now stood; twenty miles north of her home. Five more spots were circled that would take her another twenty-five or so miles away.
A click and crackle of static sounded through the speaker of the walkie-talkie clipped onto her belt. She quickly removed the device and pressed the talk button. "Rick?" she asked as she held it closely to her mouth.
"We're about a mile away I think. It's the Comfy Inn Motel, right?" His voice sounded muffled and far away.
She pressed the button again. "Yeah. If you're on the dirt road just keep going north. I'm outside in the parking lot."
"OK. We'll be there soon."
The hood of the car thudded as she sat the walkie-talkie next to the map. A line of sweat ran from the crook of her neck down to her chest. She swiped at the moisture before it could travel any further, and fanned herself with outstretched fingers as she walked over to the passenger side of the car. A sheet of yellow paper from a legal pad was folded into a perfect square on the dashboard. She reached through the open window to grab it then tapped the paper against the palm of her hand in quick succession. Her mind didn't have all of the answers yet, but what was written on that paper was a start. She just hoped Rick was able to see that too; to see her promise to try hadn't been broken.
Her mouth stretched open in a yawn. The corners of her eyes watered as another one came on. Then another. Exhaustion was going to catch up with her soon. Sleep hadn't been easy to come by since that night. Since the illusions of safety and security were shattered by a swing of a madman's bat. When the initial shock and horror wore off, Michonne had found herself in a constant state of infuriation. All she could do was stew in her anger and think of ways to kill Negan. Sleep came in spurts between staring up at the ceiling. Maybe six or seven hours total since coming back to Alexandria. Both her body and mind could use a block of uninterrupted slumber, but every time her eyes drooped at night she tried to will herself awake. To stay alert. To stay ready for war. To ward off those nightmare inducing images that popped into her head every time she laid down. Abraham's pulverized head. Glenn's face as he told Maggie he'd always find her. Michonne massaged the area between her eyes and leaned her back against the car. She didn't need those images in head at that moment.
The distinctive growl of the motor of their community's only van made her stand up straight again and look towards the abandoned, dirt road that led to the motel. Michonne gripped the hilt of her sword and took a quick look around making sure no walkers were awakened by the sound of the vehicle. She shielded her eyes against the late afternoon sun as a cloud of dust flew against the tires when the van pulled into the parking lot. Rick's visage from the driver's seat could be seen through the dirty windshield. His eyes were more hopeful, less sad than that morning. The left corner of his lips was pulled up in a hint of a smile. He turned off the engine and jumped out before Aaron had the chance to unbuckle his seatbelt.
The click of his boots echoed against the pavement as he rushed over to her. He still had that cowboy gait in his step, but looked odd without the gun belt around him and his trusty Colt at his side.
It was a repeat of the morning as his clutched her waist and he leaned in to kiss her cheek. Though instead of her stopping him, she turned her head slightly. His lips connected with hers in a chaste yet loving peck which caused the corner of his lips to turn up higher.
"You decided to come." His arm snaked around her tiny waist pulling her closer to his body. She could feel his warm breath exhale against her cheek as he started down at her. The tenseness that his body had carried since that night had finally eased. His relaxed stance matched the relief in his eyes at her being at his side again.
She skimmed her fingers down his arm knowing her touch comforted him. "I had some things I needed to work out first. I knew I needed to tell you as soon as I was sure." Their focus was completely on each other as the world blurred around their delicate bubble.
His eyes squinted and he cocked his head to the side. "Sure of what?"
Her mouth opened to answer him, but closed before she uttered a word. Aaron forayed into her line of vision breaking their bubble with his tentative steps. "Aaron," she nodded towards him in greeting.
"Michonne," he said back, "It's good to see you came out to help.
Rick turned to Aaron and lifted an eyebrow at him as if he was confused by why the man suddenly intruded into a private moment between himself and Michonne; forgetting they weren't the only two people there. He finally nodded. "Yeah, we found some good thangs. Hopefully stuff that'll make Negan happy."
Michonne sighed and shook her head slightly. Her hand involuntarily balled into a fist every time she heard that name. "Torturing and killing are the only things that truly make him happy." The words held more bite than she intended.
Rick's grip on her waist loosened before pulling away making a small gap between them. "Well, hopefully what we have in the back on the van will do the trick." He gestured towards the paper still in her hand. "What's that?"
"It's what I've been doing for all day. What I had to figure out." She handed Rick the yellow square of paper.
He locked eyes with hers as he unfolded the paper. His brow furrowed when he eventually looked down and read her neat and precise handwriting. She twisted the "M" on her necklace as she watched his face contort further in confusion when he reached the end of the page.
"Michonne - " He started.
She lifted up the palms of her hands to stop him. "I know what you're thinking."
"I'm thinking I thought we were going to lay low and do what Negan says. This," he waved the paper around in the air, "doesn't look like that." The gruffness of his Southern accent remained calm, but his eyes betrayed the fear he felt at what she was planning to do.
"We didn't have a solid plan before, but now we do. Well, somewhat of a plan. I'm still working it out." Her voice became higher as she tried to explain to him. "Read what's on the paper."
"I read it. We can't be sure if it'll even work."
"What's the harm in trying? We would still be following his rules for now. But there's nothing wrong with preparation. They took our guns, but I have my sword. They left the knives. Your hatchet. They didn't say we couldn't have weapons."
"Michonne, that's a fine line to walk."
"But it's a line we need to. I'm not actively going after Negan. I promised you I wouldn't. But we need to be prepared for whatever he's going to throw at us. Do you really think he's just going to leave us be if we do what he says? He wanted Gregory dead and he's a coward who followed all the rules. You're a hundred times the leader and the man Gregory will ever be. Who knows what he'll try to do to you eventually." The emotion she'd been trying to keep a bay cracked through her voice. She turned away from the two men to hide the tears that formed in her eyes. "I'm not losing you either," she whispered to the ground.
Rick closed his eyes tightly and held his head down; hating to see her like that. Hating to see her fears and not knowing if he could do anything other than let Negan continue to taunt and torture them.
He walked up behind her and gently placed his hands on her shoulders. "You can up with a good strategy," he said into her ear. "But we don't have the numbers. No matter how many weapons we gather, it won't work if we don't have the people to wield them."
She turned around and pointed at the map that was still on the hood of the car. "Jesus said they were trading with other communities. He told me who and where after we took out the Saviors at the checkpoint. There are more people out there. We can get the numbers. We can train people to fight. The Hilltop has the welder who can build us more knives and swords and spears. I'm not talking about taking Negan on tomorrow, a week, or even a month from now. But we can eventually have our day with him."
Rick rubbed at the back on his neck and studied the map. "If he gets the slightest wind of what we're doing, he'll kill one of us. How can we know If these other communities can be trusted? They could have a leader or other people just as cowardly as Gregory and rat us out."
She took a step closer to him. "I thought of that. Jesus knows these people. He'll know who'll be willing to help us. Who we can trust."
Rick shook his head. "This is risky, Michonne."
"Not as risky of what living under this man's rule will do to us."
"If he finds out...I can't have anyone else die on my watch." He looked pained as if Negan already had Lucille trained on another member of his family.
Michonne took his face in her hands and pulled him down towards her. "We're all going to slowly die if we allow this man to rule us forever. You said we can try to carve out some kind of life, but would it ever truly be a happy life?"
He held his forehead against Michonne's and closed his eyes. He wanted to believe her plan could work. He wanted to more than anything, but it still scared him. "I don't know."
"It's not a bad plan, Rick," Aaron piped in. "Everyone back home is scared of having to live under Negan's rule. It won't take much persuading to get them motivated to fight."
Rick look back and forth between Michonne and Aaron. "I'll have to sleep on it."
"All I ask is that you think about it," Michonne said.
He nodded and kissed her temple. "OK."
The sky faded into a deep purple as the sun disappeared under the horizon. The three of them had gone over every aspect of the plan before retiring for the night. Aaron agreed to take first watch while Rick and Michonne decided to set up camp in one of the two rooms on the ground floor they cleared.
Michonne led the way into room number six with Rick not far behind her; his fingers grazing her waist. The space was smaller than their bedroom back in Alexandria. The carpet was a dull brown with worn patches here and there. The lone window was sheathed in curtains with a pattern out of a Sears catalog from the seventies, with a kaleidoscope of orange and brown colors. A flimsy particle board wood table with a mismatched white chair sat next to the door. The twin bed in the middle of the room had no pillows or comforter. Only dingy yellow sheets barely covering an equally dingy mattress.
Rick dropped his hatchet and bag onto the table and turned to survey the room with his hands on his hips. "At least there's a mattress here," he quipped.
Michonne poked it with her foot. "I don't know. Looks like it's seen better days. Probably full of bed bugs and who knows what else."
"Good point. We probably should just use the floor. I brought in some blankets we had in the back of the van."
She nodded and placed her sword on the table next to his weapon. "Sounds like the best plan."
He looked at his watch. "I told Aaron I'd relieve him in four hours. Want to try to get some sleep before then?"
Just hearing the word sleep triggered Michonne's exhaustion as she covered her mouth to hide another monster yawn. "Guess a couple of hours wouldn't hurt."
Rick layered three blankets on the floor and pressed his fingers into the cushions to make sure it was soft enough. He untucked his denim shirt and toed his boots off while watching Michonne take one last survey of the empty road through the window. His eyes traveled down her body as he was wont to do. They still weren't one hundred percent back to themselves, but they were on their way to getting back on the same page. He felt like he could breathe again. The kiss she gave him that morning had been on his mind all day. It had brought him back to life. Made him feel like the man she always claimed he was again.
Michonne closed the curtains and kicked off her own boots before striking a match to light the lantern she'd brought in from the car. She looked over her shoulder as Rick stood and started rummaging around in his bag. "What are you doing over there?"
"Just remembered I found a some thangs for you at a gas station a few miles back." He pulled out two bags of peanut M&Ms, a package of cheese crackers, and two cans of soda.
She smiled genuinely for the first time in days. "How do you manage to always to get me just what I need?"
He shrugged and scratched at his eyebrow. "I just know what you like. I want to make you happy."
Michonne moved across the room so she could stand directly in front of him. "You always do. Even when I'm mad you make me happy."
Rick didn't say anything, but he didn't have to with the crooked smile on his face. It conveyed how much her words affected him.
She brought the lantern to the floor as they had an impromptu picnic on the blankets. Both sat with their backs against the bed. Rick handed her the candy and a soda. She turned the can over in her hand. "Wait. Is this Tab?" She asked as she examined the writing on the pink can. "How old was that gas station? I thought they stopped making this years ago. My mom used to drink these all the time when she was on a diet. Supposedly it had no calories, but tasted awful."
Rick picked up the other can and looked it over. "Really? I've never heard of it before." He popped open the top and took a swig then nearly spit it out as his face contorted. "This is disgustin'."
Michonne laughed. "I told you." She ripped opened the package of M&Ms and placed a brown one in his mouth. "Here. This will take the taste away."
He crunched on the candy. "And these are really stale."
She popped a couple in her mouth. "The staler the better," she said and winked at him.
He scoffed and shook his head. "Your taste buds are strange."
She just shrugged and continued to eat her candy while Rick chose the cheese crackers instead. They passed her last bottle of water between the two of them.
After eating the last cracker Rick shook the crumbs off his fingers then leaned back against the bed to stretch out his legs on their pallet. "You know this is kinda like our first away date as a couple."
Michonne paused mid-drink and tilted her head; her face full of incredulity. "I don't think we've had any kind of dates, Rick."
"Good point. Maybe we should fix that one day."
Michonne leaned back against the bed too; her shoulder brushing against his upper arm. "And where would we go on this date?" She indulged him.
"Wherever you want." He grinned at her. "We can get creative."
Michonne chuckled. "Yes, we could. Candlelight dinner while we're on guard duty." Her giggle was music to Rick's ears. "Don't think we'll have time for dates in the near future though." Reality sobered her brief moment of glee.
Rick sighed. "Yeah, I know. Truthfully I'm just happy we're talking again."
Michonne put the candy aside. Her hand went to her neck as she started to twist the necklace again. "I know I've been on mute lately. Standoffish too. I'm sorry about that. I was never angry at you. Just at everything else."
Rick swallowed hard. "That's good to hear. I was starting to think…" He sighed. "Well it doesn't matter what I was thinking. I'm just glad we're closer to being us again."
Michonne grabbed his hand. "No, tell me what you were thinking, Rick."
He rubbed his free hand over his face before answering. "That you didn't want to be with me anymore. You thought I was too weak. It was my fault what happened."
"Rick," Michonne shook her head. "Don't ever think I'll leave you or think any less of you or blame you for any of this." She paused and intertwined their fingers together. "I'll admit I didn't understand at first why you chose not to fight and it upset me. But leaving you never crossed my mind. Never an option."
He shook his head and held her hand tighter. "I don't know what I'd do without you."
She laid her head against his shoulder. "Couples show their true strength and love during the hard times. We'll get through this."
"I hope so."
"We will."
"How can you be so sure?"
"It's a woman thing. We're born with an innate intuition."
He chuckled and look down at her. "OK. I'll take it."
"Good." She closed her eyes as she snuggled closer into his shoulder. Her breathing slowed slightly, but her hand still twisted the "M" back and forth on the chain.
He reached down to stop her hand. "You should get some sleep," he said softly. "I know you're exhausted."
"How do you know that?" She asked through a yawn.
"Well, that yawn kinda makes my point."
She chuckled softly. "Hush."
"But seriously, I'm next to you in our bed every night. My eyes may be closed but I feel every toss and turn you make. I hear every irritated breath you let out."
"I've been too frustrated, too wound up, too alert to sleep. Didn't want to see images from that night when I closed my eyes. I thought working on shooting would help. At least I would be doing something, but it just made me feel worse."
"Does this new plan make you feel better? Less angry and frustrated?"
She looked up at him. "It does. It makes me feel like our fate is back in our hands and not his."
He nodded. "Makes sense. We...we should do the plan," he stuttered out. The truth was it still scared him, but he knew it was a good plan. He trusted Michonne more than anyone, and he knew she wouldn't steer them wrong.
Her eyes lit up. "Seriously?"
"Yeah, seriously." He leaned over to kiss her forehead.
She cupped his cheek with her hand. "I know how hard this is for you. I don't think most people appreciate how much you do to protect us. You're a good man."
His cheeks flushed at her praise. "I'm not sure about how good, but I'm trying." He sighed. "I wish Carl thought the same."
"He does. He's just as angry as I was. I'll pass. Especially after we tell him about the plan."
"We'll see." He sounded resigned to the fact he lost his son's respect. "How was he when you left?"
"About the same. Wanting to fight, but I made him promise to be nice to Olivia since she's helping with Judith."
Rick raised an eyebrow. "Are we sure he's going to listen to her?"
Michonne laughed. "No, but we can hope. I don't think he'll do anything rash while we're away though. Not with him wanting to be there for Judith."
They fell into a calm silence. A chorus of crickets chirping and the creaks and groans of the old motel settling were the only sounds. Michonne crossed her legs at the ankle and settled in closer to Rick. He wrapped his arm around her loving to feel of her pressed against his body. It had only been a few days since they last made love, but he'd missed the intimacy between them.
"When did you know?" Michonne's voice cut into the silence.
He looked down at her in confusion. "Know what?"
"I was just thinking about what you told me yesterday about Judith. When did you know she wasn't yours biologically."
"Oh." He paused trying to gather his thoughts. "From the start," he said finally. "I could see somethang was going on between Shane and Lori after I found them at that camp. When she told me she was pregnant I knew it wasn't mine."
"That had to be hard to admit to yourself."
"One of the hardest things I ever had to do."
Michonne's voice was soft in her delicate wisdom. "She's yours in every way that truly matters though." She kissed him on the neck. "She's ours."
Rick nodded. "Yeah, she is. The four of us are good together aren't we?"
She smiled at him. "We are."
He closed his eyes as he thought about the first night he realized how this new world had changed everything he used to know. "Before I stuck a knife in Shane I told him that she was mine. He was so far gone by the time we got to Hershel's farm I knew he couldn't care for a child and he'd never leave us alone if he had any hint she was his."
"Andrea told me a little about Shane. She made him out to be a hero though."
"Used to think he was too. The man I knew before all of this was, but at the end he became someone I didn't recognize."
"I cared about Andrea a great deal, but her judgement was shit."
"If her involvement with The Governor was any indication then yeah, I agree."
"Governor seems like child's play compared to what we're going through now."
"Yeah," he sighed. "We dealt with unhinged people and even cannibals, and I never felt as hopeless as I did kneeling down to him." He shook his head.
"I hate cowering to Negan, Michonne." His voice became deeper as the pain of their situation bubbled to the top. "There was a point before he left yesterday when he had his back to me. I still had that bat in my hand. It took everything in me not to knock his head off. But I knew if I took that swing, even if I connected and killed him, his men would be on us in a second. So I took the humiliation for you, for Carl, for Judith, for everyone to be safe."
"I want everyone to be safe too. But I also want us to not live in constant fear. I don't want Judith to grow up like that. There's more than enough things to fear in this world without having that psycho be our dictator." She swiped at her eyes as angry tears pooled in the corners. "We've dealt with some horrible things, but nothing like this. I just want her to have a chance."
"One more day with a chance," Rick said. "I want that too. Come here." He grabbed her waist and maneuvered her onto his lap; straddling and facing him. He used his thumb to wipe away the tears. "I'm going to try to give you and the kids as many days as I can."
Her fingers ran down the soft hair of his beard. "And I'm going to do the same."
"I used to think you didn't like my beard, but now you can't keep your hands off it," he teased.
Her chuckle came from deep in her throat. "It grew on me. Turns me on now."
He turned his head and kissed her palm. "I love you."
"I love you too." Her hands moved to where his hair curled just above the collar of his shirt. "My mind keeps going back to the morning before everything happened. Trying to remember how it felt to be so happy laying in your arms. Then in makes me sad because it seems that type of bliss will be lost forever in this cycle of pain."
"I keep thinking how foolish I was that morning. I was so gottdamn cocky thinking nothing could touch us."
She leaned her forehead against his. "Let's forget about him for the tonight. Let's just forget about everything but each other."
Without another word he swept his lips against hers; reveling in how soft they felt against his before slipping his tongue inside her mouth; tasting the stale chocolate. It tasted like the sweetest of nectar on her. His hands massaged the smooth skin under her shirt as their kiss deepened. Her tongue danced with his before she focused her kisses on his top lip then the bottom like she had hours before in their home.
Michonne closed her eyes as Rick's hands inched further under her shirt. The calloused pads of his fingers felt rough as he stroked upward against her skin. She gripped his upper arms as her taut abdomen started to tremble from his touch as his kisses moved from her mouth to the hollow of her neck. She felt his lips imprint on her with each nip and suck. He paused to inhale her scent: soap, honey body wash, lavender shampoo and something underneath that was naturally her. He could only describe it as Michonne. "You always smell so good," he whispered before taking her earlobe into his mouth.
His hands continued up her torso until he cupped the thin silk and lace that covered her breasts. His thumbs rotated her nipples until they ripened into stiff peaks. The reward of her soft moans was almost too much for him to take as the hardness of his erection pressed against her thigh. She felt more than heard his sharp intake of breath every time her thigh grazed against it. Their gazes locked together and burned with a passion that had been put on hold for too long.
He reached into her hair to untie her headband; letting her locs cascade down her back. Her fingers were deft as she worked to unbutton his denim shirt. The tips of her fingernails scratched down his chest before she leaned in to trail kisses down between his pecs.
He lifted her head and placed another hard kiss on her luscious lips before slipping her shirt over her head. Her bra soon joined the shirt on the floor behind them. He wasted no time in teasing her with his tongue circling her left areola; inches away from her nipple but not yet connecting. Her whimpers of his name became louder and more urgent as she gripped tightly onto his hair. Finally, taking mercy he scraped his teeth against the hardened nipple before slipping the small bud into his mouth. He sucked on it as if she was his life force and he needed her to survive.
One palm was held against her back, keeping her in place, before sliding down to squeeze her ample ass and giving it a smack. Rick released the nipple from his mouth. "Stand up." His voice dripped with need and desire.
Michonne stood on shaky legs. Rick steadied her as he rose to his knees. He unbuttoned her tight pants and eased them down her toned legs. He held her waist as she stepped out the garments. The evidence of her arousal shown through the peach colored panties. His index finger drew a line from her belly-button down over her wetness. She shivered in anticipation and braced herself by grabbing onto his shoulders.
His thumbs hooked onto her panties and slipped them off in one quick motion. She stood before him naked and unguarded. Her face showed every emotion bubbling within. All of the love, fear, and desire.
"You're so beautiful," his voice was tinged with love and gratitude as he stared upon her.
She used one hand to cup his cheek again and let a finger trace his red and swollen lips. "So are you."
Rick shed his shirt and then held onto to her waist. His lips worked their way up from her knee to her inner thigh. At her core, he stopped to inhale the intoxicating scent of her juices. He held her steady with one hand and used the other to guide a finger inside her. She threw her head back and moaned. Then a louder one when he slipped in another finger.
"Rick," she breathed out.
He moved his lips to kiss her folds as he continued to work her with his fingers. Michonne's body was a fever of untamed passion. When he clamped his lips onto her throbbing clit, a jolt of titillation shot through her core. Her legs buckled and she dug his nails into his shoulders almost drawing blood. Rick released his lips to lay her down on the pallet.
He quickly removed his jeans and boxers before covering her body with his. Hands and lips moved everywhere down her body; tasting and stroking her as she called his name over and over. "I missed you so much," he whispered each time his lips parted from her skin.
"Rick, please." Her chest heaved up and down causing her breasts to jiggle. In the old world, she wasn't one to give her heart away so easily. Mike was the first after a string of casual love affairs. She loved him, but it didn't prepare her for what she felt for Rick. She didn't know if it was because of how much they had gone through together or if he was just her meant to be, but her love for him was something she could hardly describe. She felt it down to her soul. Even when they were apart or not in agreement; her heart beat in time with his. She always felt him by her side. He was never too far from her mind.
He'd found his way to between her legs again twirling his tongue in excruciating slow circles around her bud of nerves. He stopped his ministrations and grinned up at her. "Please what?" He teased.
"Rick if you don't enter me right now I really will leave you," she managed to breathe out in a shaky voice.
"Yes, ma'am." He moved back up her body and smiled into another kiss as he positioned himself over her nether lips. Michonne gasped as he finally guided his fully erect cock between her thighs.
He paused to luxuriate in the delicious feel of being inside her before slowly rocking his body on top her hers. Michonne wrapped her legs around his waist as his thrusts made her body shake. Her fingernails created a potent dichotomy of pleasure and pain as she dug into his back. His moans mixed with her hers to create a polyphony of desire within the four walls of the room. He temporarily drowned out her moans as he kissed her again and again.
The rhythm of Rick's stroke quickened as they both were almost on the apex of pleasure. Michonne's back arched off the floor and her thighs tightened against his hips when her body shuddered as the waves of her orgasm overtook over her body. She went lax as Rick continued to thrust into her; his low grunts sounded in her ear as he came closer and closer until he finally exploded inside her.
Slick with sweat and the mixture of their bodily fluids, he laid his head on her chest as both tried to catch their breaths. She ran her fingers through his wet hair as he kissed the strip of skin between her breasts before rolling off her. She laid her on her side and he pulled his body against hers; spooning behind her.
"You should get some sleep," he whispered.
Michonne yawned and snuggled closer to him. She hadn't felt so ready to give in to her exhaustion in days. "I will. Wake me when it's time for your watch," she said as her eyes closed. "I'll take it with you."
"Don't worry about that, baby. You just sleep." He kissed her shoulder then her cheek. "Thank you."
"Why do you keep thanking me?"
"For being you and not giving up on me."
She pulled his arm to wrap around her body; just under her breasts. "We can find a way out of this, Rick."
"And if we don't?" he asked.
"I'm still with you."