Link's Caca Adventure!
Once upon a time, in the land of New Hyrule, there lived a young boy named Link who fell in love with a pirate named Tetra. After vanquishing the evil Ganondorf and saving the world, Link decided to ask her out to a fancy dinner...
"Link," said Tetra taking a bite from her steak, "I'm having such a great time. I love you so much!"
"I love you too," said Link.
Unfortunately, Link, who had been nervous about the date all day long, had to go to the bathroom really badly. He wasn't able to go before he left because he was running late, and now, he could no longer hold it in.
"Um," said Link, "Tetra, I have to use the bathroom. Will you excuse me for a minute?"
But, as Link stood up and turned around to leave, he ripped a huge fart. Being a fancy restaurant, there was a tall candle sitting on the table, and when Link farted, the flames from the candle burned Tetra's hair.
"AAAAAHHH!" screamed Tetra.
In a desperate attempt to put out the fire, Link grabbed the bottle of white wine sitting on the table, forgetting, of course, that alcohol only exacerbates fire.
"LINK, DO SOMETHING!" Tetra cried.
Link grabbed the pail of ice that the wine bottle sat in and dumped it on Tetra, putting out the fire. By now, very little of Tetra's hair remained.
"My beautiful hair is fucking ruined!" she complained, "Link, you..."
Before she could finish her sentence, Link farted again, only this time, diarrhoea came out. As Link turned to leave again, the wet stuff sprayed right through his pants andwent all over Tetra. Chunks of it also went flying onto other people's tables. A man nearby chugged down some champagne without realizing the small piece of corn from Link's ass was floating around in it.
Tetra smelled absolutely terrible and broke up with him on the spot. Link then cleaned his pants and went home.