Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha

Author's Note: This is based in the much recent chapters of Inuyasha that haven't been released yet in English. So, basically, there are spoilers. It's starts near the end of vol. 47 and ends also near the beginning of vol. 48...

WARNING: I am horrible at grammar.

Summary: Sesshoumaru's thoughts of when Rin stops breathing.


She's not dead… Sesshoumaru gave a unnoticed exhale.

yet. He added. Sesshoumaru's brows tingled together in thought. He did not want Rin to die. It didn't help that Kohaku and she were almost eaten up by the hellhound. It was unnatural for her not to move

Kohaku, who was carrying her piggy back, was stumbling from her weight. The noise of Kohaku's feet dragging irritated him. Something like which he could easier ignore before grated at his nerves now. It will not last longer, he told himself. His father's sword would get stronger from this test his mother brought upon him.

Something is wrong… he couldn't hear that little boy's loud feet. His feet stopped moving. "…Sesshoumaru-sama…" Kohaku's heart was beating fast. Nervous? Afraid?

"Rin…isn't breathing…"

What?

Unconsciously his feet stopped moving.

Rin? Rin is dead?

Kohaku looked at Sesshoumaru in shock. Sesshoumaru broke his stoic face with his wide eyes. Kohaku felt he has to explain himself to Sesshoumaru. "I - She - Rin wasn't breathing… and… she looks pale…" He could've continue but Sesshoumaru stopped him.

"Put her down."

Kohaku set her down but without taking his gaze off of Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru's stoic face was back in place.

He was little afraid of what Sesshoumaru was going to do. He backed off from Rin as Sesshoumaru unsheathed his sword. Kohaku relaxed a little… it was the sword of healing. Rin was going to be okay.

Sesshoumaru's eye twitched.

What?! The slaves of the afterworld are not here?

There was nothing to slay. There was nothing to save. What was the meaning of this? His hand weaken the hold of his sword. Was Rin forever to stay dead? …No. She cannot. She will not.

Why?! His gripped harden on the sword.

Kohaku nervously reached out to Rin. "…Rin" After a moment of touching her bitter forehead he closed his eyes.

"Sesshoumaru-sama… I am sorry… I will-"

"Silence."

Kohaku shut his mouth immediately. He left Sesshoumaru in thought. It would be better if left in silence, Kohaku thought to himself. Kohaku timidly looked at Seeshoumaru. His eyes was... out of focus. Sesshoumaru was not his sharp self and this made Kohaku more paranoid.

Why did I bring her with me? If I left her with a village she…
A darkness and the strong blow of the wind befell them. They felt movement around them and the tightness of the air. Yet again there something not right. As quickly as it came it disappeared. When light came about there was no Rin.

"Sesshoumaru-sama! Rin-" He reacted before Kohaku said anything. Sesshoumaru feet were already in motion. Who dare take Rin away from me?! Who dare?!

He ran into the abyss where Rin disappeared. Kohaku was not far behind him. Kohaku found it difficult to catch up to the somewhat angry youkai. He was already out of breath from the hellhound attack that brought them to this hell. Kohaku nearly bumped into Sesshoumaru when he slowed down to a walk. A image of Sesshoumaru's home came upon them. Shortly after Sesshoumaru's mother's voice towered over them. "Come, Sesshoumaru, and I will let you escape hell." There was a pause and then, "However this path will close. If that happens that you cannot return."

"Kohaku. You take that path." Sesshoumaru turned left to a pathway in the dark. Kohaku followed Sesshoumaru, avoiding the pathway back to home. Kohaku wouldn't leave Rin alone in this hell. He tried to take brave steps forward but there was still fear of the darkness ahead.

Rin's scent was soon overcome with the odor of dead bodies. They were in the deepest part of hell with the scent of death. It was an awful smell. Sesshoumaru's nose wrinkled at the smell. Kohaku put his hand towards his nose to try to cover the odor. But it would only get worst the further they went.

Kohaku saw a massive figure before them stomping its way on the path before them. The monster lifted his hand near his face, sniffing it. There in its hand was…

"Rin!"

The monster walked on a mountain of corpses. This monster is the master of hell. He lived to his name. The dark figure was slimy with goo dropping out everywhere. He smelled worst then any other smell. He was the bringer and keeper of death.

Rin, Sesshoumaru told himself, I'm bringing you back. I will not let you die. He could not either. He grip on his sword tighten at thought of leaving her here.

The monster brought his hand down. Holding the limp Rin he was about to set her on the top of the mountain of corpses. Setting her down would put her death in stone. Sesshoumaru rushed forwards before any other moment was made by the beast. I won't let you go there! He unsheathed his sword in a loud manner. In one graceful swipe he chopped off the arm of the monster.

Still in midair he caught Rin by his one arm. No response made by Rin. There was no flicker of her eyes. Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed. No... this cannot happen. There has to be a way...

What would happen to him if Rin died? What else does he need to do to resurrect her? What else? Can she be saved?

No…

Sesshoumaru dropped the sword. It was his craving of power that killed her. He wanted to make the sword better but instead he made… Rin die. It was his fault and he could've prevented it. She could've been alive...

There are no more flowers.

There are no more giggles.

There are no more smiles.

He had told her to stop singing a couple days before... he should've... The things Sesshoumaru came to dislike Rin of he wished more of. More singing or humming. He remembered her favorite song about mermaids.

The sword fell upon the pile of corpses. Sesshoumaru held Rin possessively closer to him. She cannot be saved… If anyone dared to approach him they would be an utter fool. His face was intense with anger that he could not save someone close to him.

What is the point now?… I let you die.

"…Rin."

This exchange for Rin's life… IT MEANS NOTHING!

The sword emitted a light which attracted all the corpses near it. Sesshoumaru warily looked towards them with a almost interest in his eyes. …They are the same as... her.

In a non-Sesshoumaru manner he purified the whole lot. Sesshoumaru, Kohaku, and the late Rin returned from hell. Sesshoumaru places Rin on the ground gingerly and he turned to face his smiling mother. With a small smile, "Why look so upset? Tenseiga is more powerful. Be grateful."

Jaken tiptoed near Rin wanting to confirm that she was actually dead. Jaken always thought it would be better if Rin had died. Not today.

"You knew that this would happen to Rin." Sesshoumaru almost growled. It was his mother that would be a fault. She knew.

"Do you think yourself a God, Sesshoumaru?" He was a little shocked from the question.

"That you can save anytime you wanted, that as long as you have Tenseiga there is no fear of death?" Her smile grew at his realization. A feeling became present in the pit of his stomach. Yes, I thought I could save her...

His mother releases a sigh. Her son was an idoit. "When you save someone you must know the weight of their life… either be dead or alive."

Compassion…

A loud sob was made. Sesshoumaru's mother turned her attention upon Jaken. Jakan was leaned over Rin's body his hands covered his face. Jaken turned towards Sesshoumaru. In order for him to have a compassionate heart… Rin had to die.

"Why are you crying?"

"Sesshoumaru... cannot cry... so I will cry for him." Sesshoumaru's mother could barely make out the words from Jaken's sobs.

Sesshoumaru, "…I will not do this again." She gave off a warning gaze as she placed her necklace on Rin.

There was a small light that was released from the necklace. Rin almost painfully opened her eyes. Instantly there was a coughing fit. The sound of coughing make Sesshoumaru wince. Nonethelesss she was alive...

She is alive...

She can sing that awful song again...

Pick flowers again...

Follow him again.

"Rin!" Kohaku was relieved. Before Rin noticed anything Sesshoumaru placed his hand on her cheek. There were no words needed. She could breathe again. "Sesshoumaru-sama…"Rin's voice was raspy as she placed a hand on top of Sesshoumaru's. Sesshoumaru stroked her Rin in a caring way. They sat there for a while looking at each other. Rin's skin was icy cold. Her face showed that death was there and captured her.

"You're… all right now"

"Yes…"

Jaken waddled himself towards the mother and bowed. "Sesshoumaru-sa-"

Without a flicker of emotion she asked, "Is Sesshoumaru happy?" She gazed at the little girl. All this trouble for her?

"Yes. Very much so." Jaken said as he shared his gaze with hers.

A tiny smile in the corner of her mouth appeared.


Hoped you enjoyed it and that my grammar mistakes didn't discourage you! XD