A/N: "She was fearless and crazier than him. She was his queen, and God help anyone who dared to disrespect his queen." JK, we don't need that bullshit here. Still, you're reading a Reylo fic, so brace for impact, edgelords and fellow gofficks 'cause we about to get proble-fucking-matic. We all know it's not Rey's job to fix Kylo, but like… what if it was? Fuck the preps (looking at you, Finn and Poe).

This takes place after The Last Jedi and before and possibly leading into the timeline of Episode 9. Hopefully none of the pairings presented result in incest. If so, just boycott Episode 9, bitch about your ruined childhood, and give me the $10 dollars you were going to spend on a movie ticket.

Please at StarWars and Disney to force them to make this canon and/or cast me as Young Leia in the upcoming Young Han movie. There has to be a full penetrative sex scene, preferably just with Han, but if Donald Glover as Donald Glover wants to get in on a threesome, I won't stop Childish Gambino. I refuse to stop writing until one or the other happens, thanks.

Recommended music (to pretend that Kylo Ren is blasting in his quarters while writing in his diary and fixing his helmet with duct tape before coloring the duct tape with a sharpie): Across the Universe by Fiona Apple, You Were Meant for Me by Jewel, and Torn by Natalie Imbruglia.

"You are a monster."

As he had gazed upon her from the doorway of the Falcon, Rey's sweet expression twisted in pain and anger, he wished that she had broken the silence and repeated those words.

Lost in gray instead of black and white had long maddened him, but her harsh silence left him shattered where he had been sure that she was the key to his salvation. Those sharp words would have cut him free from the brambles he had become twisted in, lost in the struggle between her light and the dark path he had run headlong as a boy.

Instead, he was caught, stuck pining from the shadows to be touched by her light.

Alone in his quarters, Kylo Ren's cognac gaze probed his own reflection as he stood half dressed, still accessing the scars that the scavenger, Rey, had left on his skin. Even after being dogged on by his uncle's antics, distracted from wiping out the remaining Resistance only hours before, when he was left with nothing but his thoughts, they always chased back to her.

During those breaks in time where he saw her where she stood and he saw him just as clearly, he had found himself perplexed, entranced, and most of all frustrated by the very idea of her. He had felt that loneliness within her that matched his own on the Starkiller base. For a moment, he hadn't seen her as a means to an end, losing himself briefly in that bizarre connection between them.

A connection that had only grown stronger after she left him crumpled in the snow, bloodied and battered by the blade that had belonged to his grandfather. Across the galaxy, he saw her on the very island he had pried from her mind when seeking for the map to Skywalker had been where he had been hiding.

Their uneasy courtship began with Rey firing a shot into his stomach. He'd only been lucky that they were parsecs away from one another despite the sharp, striking pain. Nothing physically had been damaged, so these visions were nothing more a psychic transmission. Or so Kylo had thought.

In those visions, he had seen her in the rain, smiling and enraptured by the very sight of it. Despite the simplicity of precipitation, where others would have hunkered away in the old Jedi ruins, she stood with her hand outstretched, delighted by the simplicity of water.

While part of him wanted to pity her, he found more that he envied that something like the coolness of rain could bring such candid joy to her features. And those features… With those striking hazel eyes not filled with disdain, her blossom pink lips spread across her face in a warm grin, it was hard not to find her charming.

Just at the memory, he found himself reaching out to her once more. A yearning rose within him as he wondered what he would see. Would she be sitting in the Millennium Falcon, celebrating their narrow escape with the others? Or would she be seeking comfort in the arms of the traitor, FN-2187, mourning the loss of Luke?

After all, he had extended his hand once more to her, asked her to rise to power at his side only to find Rey as his enemy once more as she had escaped him again.

You come from nothing. You're nothing… But not to me.

He had offered her everything and still, she fled from him, while he wanted nothing more to take her into his arms and make her understand. That entire Resistance would see her as just another poster child, like Luke and his mother before her.

FN-2187 or whatever Resistance fool that came here way would never fully understand her potential, and if by chance he did, he would never be her equal. When she became too great and outgrew the former stormtrooper, that traitor would leave her in the dust like he did the First Order, looking for something greater.

The thought of her back with him twisted rage in his gut. He closed his eyes, extending his himself, reaching out to her… only to find nothing. Not even a hint of where she might be. Dimly, though… He felt her heart ache, that linking forlornness still there, even though she was in tight quarters. Wherever she was, she was moving too quickly for him to fully focus on her. As that dimness nearly began to fade, he felt a burst of energy explode from his core, the mirror before him shattered.

His eyes snapped open, expecting to hear the clattering of glass spilling out onto the floor. Instead, the glass hung in the air briefly. More than a dozen reflections stared back at him, left with nothing more than his own furious gaze shaking him briefly, before finally showering the floor in broken shards.

Bare hands touching, across the universe she had felt it. As sure as the ancient ruin of tightly packed down stone that surrounded Rey and rain barraging its walls, she had felt Kylo Ren's—no, Ben Solo's, she corrected herself—uncertainty and saw so clearly the frame of his future.

Like pure light, she saw his very being shine dimly before slowly growing brighter and brighter. When the time came, they would fight side by side. Together, she was sure that they would fight the First Order. As simple as that vision was, it was strong and she found herself desperate to believe in it. To believe in him.

Whatever had entangled them, pulling them together in these forced, communal moments, had brought with it doubt and uncertainty. In that hut, alone as she ever was his trembling hand reached to hers and for the briefest of moments, they weren't alone.

That loneliness that she had felt for so long, that clung to her heart on those long Jakku days while searching for rubbish to trade for a quarter of a plate of mush, clenched at her heart once more as she felt it matched in Ben. As they spoke, and he told her his tale of how he was betrayed, she could have sworn she could see Luke's face in the darkness, twisted in fear and desperation as he looked down at a young, conflicted boy illuminated by the green glow of the weapon in his master's hand.

If their paths had crossed earlier… Could she have saved him? It was a naïve thought. With his hand extended towards her in Snoke's throne room, she had felt the pull to the dark side, the desire to stand at his side, and with both Luke and Han dead, she hated herself for that desire to feel his hand against hers once more, and so much more than a simple, fleeting touch.

Now, sitting in the co-pilot's seat of the Millennium Falcon, legs curled into the seat, she stared out at the stars blasting around them as that touch seemed increasingly distance. Of course, Rey knew, that it would only become more fleeting as time pressed on. The magic of being impossibly connected had fallen when Snoke revealed himself and Ben had made his choice.

If I had managed to convince him, she thought, her eyes pressing shut as she pulled her knees to her petite form. We would be more than a dozen people packed into an ancient clunker, darting across the galaxy. Luke Skywalker would be alive, Finn's new… friend would be in one piece, and we would have more to go on then a few hope-themed speeches.

"You know, that's bad form for piloting. Honestly, you look like BB-8."

A voice pulled her from her reverie as she flinched, turning fully to see Poe Dameron leaning in the doorway, peering towards the window casually as stars striped around them. Sending her a half-cocked grin, he settled in the chair beside her.

"Good thing we're in auto, then," Rey replied easily as she straightened up.

"It's strange," he said, running a tired hand over his swarthy features.

"From going to a large resistance to a dozen people packed in this can?" she asked, her own thoughts settling on their current situation.

"I was going to say finally meeting you, Rey," he managed a weak chuckle before his grin started to fade. "After hearing so much from Finn, but yeah… We took some heavy casualties while you were out looking for Luke. It was a helluva struggle getting on and off of Crait. You and Chewie did great in this thing, getting those First Order pricks off of our asses. You hear rumors about Han and his ship, but I never imagined that it would be a clunker."

"I've been finding that legends never quite live up to the real thing," she replied before touching the wall of the Falcon affectionately. "The Falcon hasn't let me down yet."

An awkward silence passed between them before Rey foolishly found herself asking, "You said that Finn said a lot about me?"

Almost as conflicting as Ben's crumpled expression—Kylo's? she found herself questioning her previous correction—as she slammed the door of the Falcon, was watching Finn tenderly place that blanket and watch over the injured girl in the communal room. Rose's features were warm and that warmness seemed to glow from within her even as she rested, struggling to remain with them.

"Well, yeah, the first thing he asked when he woke up was, 'Where's Rey?'" he replied leaning against the chair as he looked her over as if inspecting her. She tried not to move uncomfortably under his gaze. "BB-8 has chirped a bit about you, and obviously Leia thought it was important that you find Skywalker. You managed to get him here when it mattered, too…"

She crinkled her nose as she stared back at him as his dark eyes continued to search her. "What is it?" she asked, feeling herself stiffen.

"I don't know," he smirked, shrugging weakly. "You're like this ship. You really don't look like much, but you get things done."

"I get it, because I'm just some girl from a junk heap on Jakku... I should be nobody," Rey snapped back, finding herself shivering in the cold. Would she ever get used to space travel? At this point, she never planned to go to Jakku even as she found herself craving its heat. It amazed her how desperate she had been to get back, deluded enough to think that anyone was coming back for her.

Now, she knew that Maz was right. Her parents weren't coming back.

But someone else could.

"I didn't say that," Poe murmured, his brow furrowed as he shook his head. "No one here is just a nobody. If you hadn't made those… rocks float or whatever, we'd be pinned back on Crait before being gunned down by the First Order. I'm just surprised, is all. The way Finn talked about you, I thought we'd have a literal angel on board. I mean, again, the floaty rocks… were amazing and just what we needed, but you seem more like, I don't know, a person."

"I am a person," Rey found herself smiling weakly as she struggled to understand completely what he was saying.

"I know, but you're at the beginnings of becoming a legend," he pointed out. "I don't know if you realize it, but you're one of the faces of the Resistance to the people out there, packed around the dejarik table."

Shivering once more, she laughed despite the chill.

"With Skywalker gone, you're the—"

"There's bound to be more Jedi out there, so please don't say that I'm the last of a dying breed," she sighed, her laugh dying quickly at the mention of Skywalker.

He had come to their aid, knowing that he would die at his nephew's blade, acting as a distraction as the entire First Order fired upon him. While she had sensed him, she never saw him on Crait. How he had gotten there, she still wasn't sure, but Kylo Ren must have been the one to kill him.

What she was sure of, like Han, Kylo had killed Luke. Whatever she had sensed within him, whatever future in which they were on the same side, was either that brief fight after he had caused Snoke to fall, or an illusion placed by Snoke himself.

"All I have is a few books that Luke had kept in a tree and… the ability to float rocks," she sighed, despite knowing that she had more than that.

"Whatever you say, angel," Poe grinned, checking the auto-pilot before raising his dark eyes to meet hers once more. "I just wanted you to know… that you aren't alone here. Out of all of us, you've spent the least amount of time with the Resistance… and the most time, apart from Finn, with the First Order—"

"You're not about to imply that you're worried about me switching sides, are you?" Rey asked. "And don't get me started on 'angel.' You just said I wasn't one."

"A little bit of irony never hurt anyone," he said waving away her concern. "And I wasn't implying that you were about to switch sides. I was just saying that… I'm glad—We're all glad, that you aren't still with the First Order, getting mind probed by Snoke… or with Snoke dead, getting tortured by Kylo Ren and Hux's goon squad."

"I'd rather not talk about Kylo… a-and the First Order," Rey murmured as she started to curl up once more. "Is space always so cold?" She eyed his jumpsuit and realized that it must be. "It's hard to get used to."

He was silent for a moment, but let the mention of Kylo drop much to her relief.

"Rose saved Finn's life, you know," he remarked as he got to his feet, searching for something in the cockpit until he found a compartment and popped the small door open. He tossed a thin blanket to her which she took gratefully and murmured soft thanks.

"He was going to ram himself into the big gun, a complete suicide run, but she knocked him out of the way before he could," Poe continued. "He went against orders, was completely reckless… It's not my style."

Another half-cocked grin touched his lips, matching his coy tone as he gave her a wink. It suited him, she decided as she felt her own lips twitch into a slight smile in response. "If you're hiding away in here because, I don't know… You're jealous, I get it. I saved his life too. I don't see him tucking me into bed and giving me a fawning glance. Just wearing my jacket."

"It's… not just that," Rey said, realizing that they might share more of a comradery beyond their allegiance to the Resistance. Despite that cocky grin and the seriousness of Rose's wounds, she could see a hint of hurt in his eyes that matched the pang of pain her chest when she thought of Finn.

Despite what had started to grow between her and Kylo, Finn had meant something to her. Even if Kylo had said she wasn't anything to anyone else, every embrace and every shared moment with Finn told her otherwise.

Seeing him unconscious, lying in that pod… It was hard not to remember him grabbing her hand like a child and their shared embrace on the Starkiller base. Maybe she had put more thought into what they were. It seemed clear enough to her that he and Rose weren't platonic.

Every tally mark in the fallen AT-AT on Jakku felt as if they were erased ever since they had found each other. Even if that sweet, blooming love had grown into a deep friendship, she was grateful for Finn. Even at the dull aching that rose in her chest.

"I saved him, too, you know," she said, regretting her words as soon as they hit the air. "I did smack Kylo Ren around with his grandfather's lightsaber before you blew up his base."

Again, in her mind's eye, she could see that broken expression as she closed that door between them. The scars so clear on his face that she had left behind, her mark forever on his skin. Her heart twisted once more. Even talking about Finn, with the sweet, pure love she felt for him, there was some more raw, more passionate just in that brief touch then any of their embraces.

Damn it, Rey. He's a monster. Not misunderstood, little Ben Solo…

"So, if it's just not Finn…"

"Shouldn't you be discussing our next plan of attack with Leia?" Rey asked, pushing the conversation away from Finn and away from Kylo Ren.

"We've got some time to kill and Leia's lost a lot in the span of a pretty short amount of time," he answered, his expression softening as he glanced towards the door. "We all have, but… God, Han's not even cold and now Luke. Both taken down by… by Kylo. Not to mention, we're down to about a dozen people. It's darkest before the dawn, and all that shit, but I figured she can breathe for a minute."

With a jerk, the whole ship lurched out of hyperspace. While Poe managed to cling to his seat, she found herself bucked from her seat, gaining more than a good amount of height, before finding herself pressed against the well-muscled body of Poe Dameron.

"While I wouldn't mind getting to know you a bit better, angel, let's go ahead and see what's knocked us out of hyperspace," Poe smirked before giving her another wink.

Scrambling back to her own seat, she felt her face flush as she strapped herself in just in time for Chewbacca to burst in.

"You're in his spot," Rey blurted out as she gestured to the Wookiee as Poe rattled through the controls of the Falcon, attempting see what had stopped them. When Poe opened his mouth to argue, he was met with a Wookiee growl.

"Sorry, I'm in your spot," Poe murmured as he moved back a seat as Chewbacca and Rey set to work, searching for the damage. "But we need to get this thing moving before the First Order finds us here, sitting like Porgs, ready for the roasting."

He was met with another growl, louder this time.

"We weren't… hit by anything," Rey murmured as she searched the panels before her for an explanation. "There's no ships nearby and everything looks like it should be in order, so it must have been a fluke—wait…"

That odd, familiar sensation of her link with Kylo overtook her, but as her eyes darted around, she couldn't see him.

"What?" Poe asked, leaning up from his seat, but he felt miles away. Even with distress tinging his tone, she struggled to maintain her composure. "Rey, what is it?"

Slowly, as Chewbacca worked on the Falcon and Poe started to raise his voice, she felt a total shift. Silence overwhelmed her as her vision hazed to the stars beyond the window before her, unable to focus on just one.

There was no vision, no shirtless Kylo standing vulnerable in his quarters, but she felt him. She just felt him as clearly as she had felt his future. Intensely, his spirit called to her as if he had left something unsaid in their last meeting. Instead of the sincere surety she had thought she feel when it came down to his choice on Crait, once again she found confusion and doubt that only fueled the same emotions in her own heart.

Monster, her mind whispered, anguished still.

"Are you sure?"

His voice was clear, deep and baritone, and it caused her body to shiver more than frigid coldness of outer space.

"Ben…" she breathed, the name coursing over her like a shock of an ice-cold wave of sea water had struck her, knocking the air from her lungs as a rush of silence left her breathless. Vaguely, she could see him just for a moment, his lips moving as if to tell her something.

And then it was broken. In an instance, they were back in hyperspace and her surroundings were clear once more.

With the sharp pull and twist of the mechanics before them, Chewbacca was barking something at Poe, and Poe gripping her chin gently, trying to get her to focus on him. Just behind him, Finn rushed through the door.

"You with us, angel?" he asked gently, his brow relaxing in relief.

"What… What happened?" Rey asked, her throat dry. That had been far more intense than it had been before when Snoke was allegedly pulling the strings.

"Rey, are you okay?" Finn asked as he quickly hurried over, practically tripping over one of the backseats as he knelt beside her. He grabbed her hand tightly. "We heard Chewie and... I… You look pale."

"You seemed to go a little hazy and you, ah, mumbled the name 'Ben,'" Poe said as he let her go, giving a worried glance to Finn.

"Ben?" Finn asked. "As in… Ben Solo? Rey… What happened on that ship?"

A/N: Sooo… It's a start. Nothing incredibly exciting. If you want more, like let me know? Follow me on Tumblr at womp-rat-fever. My Twitter is at meekmoose.