So Sue Me!
One day Jaejoong was lounging on the couch of DBSK's apartment. He was watching Princess Hours on the Asian Drama Channel. Suddenly, his TV flickered and static made the dramatic scene disappear into a flurry of black and white, even when they had cable TV provided by Super Special Awesome Satellites in the sky. He looked to the left, and he looked to the right, he looked towards the sky and cursed at it. He was miffed that he wouldn't be able to see what would happen to the characters.
His world was in chaos.
He had no TV.
All his friends were out.
And, he was alone.
"Why me oh world?! Why?!" He shouted in woe. "Why can't I have any true love in this world?!"
Then from through the static ridden TV, an amazingly beautiful girl who blew Jaejoong out of his mind appeared from the screen. She had very long magenta-green-purple-pink-yellow hair, large D-cup breasts and gorgeous sparkling green-blue-purple-red twinkling eyes that seemed to have all the life of the world in them.
"Jaejoong..." She whispered, her pink-blue-aqua-crimson hair swishing in invisible wind of the static ridden TV. "Jaejoong..." She whispered again. "My name is Mary-Ellen-Chantal-Tamora-Dark'ness-Ebony-Me'lona-Gabriella-Ana'costia-Richardson-Way-Sue, I am from the planet of Andromeda in the Nexus Galaxy."
The pop-star was stricken by Mary-May-Jane-Jennifer-Alice-Nicole-Whackanese-Sue's beauty and marveled at her from where he sat at the couch, slowly he approached his TV and stared into Mary-March-Lolita-Maria-Whapanese-Sue's big, beautiful, navy-pink-aqua-sea foam green eyes. "Tell me!" He cried. "Tell me more! I have never seen such a wonderfully beautiful and gorgeous person as you!"
"Oh Jaejoong! I love you so much!" Mary-January-Mab-Goche-Sue shouted. "But I am stuck in this TV for the evil forces of my Super Saiyan Half-Brother Thrice Removed has sealed me here!"
"Oh! No worries!" Jaejoong exclaimed, grabbing the nearest baseball bat. "I shall free you by smashing our Cable TV hooked up to Super Special Awesome satellites in the sky!"
With a loud crash and much swinging, the beautiful pop star was able to break the TV into millions of pieces. The shards of glass, plastic and metal flew into air and landed on the floor seconds later, after catching multiple rays of light, giving the room a glittery feel, and assumed a heart shaped pattern on the floor.
Jaejoong was finally able to see her whole body and was stunned by her beauty. She was wearing a black collar with ornate symbols around it and lots of black clothing that showed off her exquisite figure. On her hands she wore fingerless gloves of lace and chains. She was also swathed in a dark gray cloak that seemed to be made of the clouds themselves. She had no jewelry on her but she still seemed to be extremely beautiful. Her eyes changed colors with her mood, and since she was happy right now from being free of her Half-Sister-Super-Special-Awesome-Evil-Angel's spell of entrapment in the TV, her eyes shimmered a bright yellow-cerulean-purple-green-gray color.
"This must be a sign!" Mary-Antoinnette-Gerard-Raven-Melody-Cockatrice-Sue exclaimed as she walked over glass gracefully, her silk slippered feet making soft crunching noises above the sharp shards of broken TV. "This must mean that we're to fall in love and marry each other!"
"Oh! Mary-Sarah-Juliet-Ophila-Cornelius-Martha-Sushi-Sue! I would do anything to marry you! We should never be separated for our love will be the strongest bond in the world! We shall be married on top of a tropical mountain and we shall have an ancient Shinto priestess bless us for our beautiful marriage and love!"
"Oh! It would be so great! So perfect! Let's get married now!" Mary-Laura-Joy-Joan-Susan-Nancy-Mercedes-Anita-Sue exclaimed happily, her purple-green-black-pink-orange-olive-puce-cerulean eyes sparkled gleefully at the aspect of her marrying her most beloved pop star in the world.
"Yes let's!" Jaejoong shouted grinning from ear to ear at Mary-Misty-Carol-Margarita-Sophia-Christy-Martha-Julie-Selphina-Sue's beauty and charm. He was insanely in love with her, even if he [idid[/i just smash his band's television into tiny pieces.
Suddenly, there was a loud crack from above the two and Mary-Hero-Duos-Ceasar-Jane-Do-Hana-Sue's eyes widened. "Oh no!" She cried out. "It's my Quarter-Namaken-Spirit-Reaper-Part-Demon-Half-Uncle-Brother-Twice-Removed! He's come to take me back to my home planet of Nexus-Archepelago-Jamaica-World! In the Andromeda-Snickers-Milky-Galaxy!"
Mary-Angelus-Demonica-Perfectus-Sue let out a shriek and turned into a rat which scuttled under the couch. While Jaejoong stared at the mess he made. "Oh no!" He cried out in horror at the state of his living room. There were burn marks all over the place and also there were pieces of TV everywhere as well. "What will I ever tell my friends?!" He cried before he was interrupted by a loud god-like voice.
"MARY-GOD-LAUREN-JAY-JOHNSTAN-SUE!" The voice cried, it was deep and authoritative. "I AM THE LORD OF THE WORLD. YOU MUST SAVE THE MORTAL REALM FROM THE EVIL OF YOUR UNCLE-TWICE-REMOVED-THAT-IS-THE-LORD-OF-HELL-BECAUSE-HE-KICKED-SATEN-OUT WHO IS THREATENING THIS EARTH!"
"But! Then I must leave the love of my life!" She cried scuttling out from her hiding place beneath the couch, her beautiful blue-green-steel blue-cornflower eyes watered from the sorrow of leaving her beloved Jaejoong.
"THIS IS THE MANDATE OF HEAVEN! JAEJOONG HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS YOU MUST SAVE THE WORLD!" The voice cried. "YOU HAVE UNTIL MIDNIGHT TO SAY YOUR FAIRWELLS. ONCE THE WORLD IS SAVED YOU MAY RETURN TO YOUR LOVER."
With a loud bang the bright light that was the voice disappeared into the night, leaving a cold chilly breeze blowing from the hole that the lightening had caused earlier that evening.
Jaejoong cried out in woe. "Oh Mary-Cecielia-Nephiline-Tanya-Lyndis-Sue!" he sobbed, holding the gorgeous rat in his hands. "Our plans of marriage are ruined! And... why are you in the shape of a rat?"
Mary-Cordelia-Rose-Chrysanthemum-Sue closed her perfect indigo-cadmium-hazel-sapphire-emerald-ruby eyes. "I am cursed by my family, to turn into this form when I am in love with anyone. Sadly, because I am deeply in love with you, Jaejoong, I must assume this form until I can save the world. I went to a school in Europe for seven years of my life, it was called Hogwarts. That place taught me how to overcome most of my curse and transform myself into any animal I want. But... because of this curse... I cannot change anymore. I love you too much."
Jaejoong cried. "WHY?!" He shouted in agony. "WHY ME?! Why did I have to fall for such a perfect character such as you?! Why world! Oh why?!"
Mary-Janice-Janine-Claudia-Anne-Sue also cried in Jaejoong's pale trembling hands. "The... only way to break the curse... is to go and save the world from my evil relatives. I promise... I'll be back... I am the Keyblade bearer for a reason my love." Mary-Daisy-Peach-Marluxia-Axel-Roxas-Sue scurried off of Jaejoong's hands and landed on the floor.
"I must leave you my love..." Mary-Curry-Japan-Macbeth-Montague-Sue whispered before pulling out a silver pocket watch from the depths of the clothes that she had come in. Climbing on top of her pile of clothes, Mary-Peruvian-Death-Pepper-Garfield-John-Sue summoned a circle of alchemy that would allow her to travel from one dimension to the next one. "Good bye my beloved Jaejoong..." Mary-Sumo-Kendo-Kung-Fu-Karate-Melton-Mico-Sue whispered one last time. "Good bye..."
With a deafening crack and a brilliant white light that blinded Jaejoong for a few moments, the gorgeous rat that he had fallen in love with was gone from his life for who knows when. Feeling the onslaught of despair slowly creep up onto him, he decided to retreat to a corner of the room with his journal and write love poems for the woman that he loved so.
"Dear... Mary-Peter-Clark-Rhys-Zade-Vy-Yashi-Sue..." He began to write when a knock at his door broke him away from his beloved angst filled writing.
Yunho and the rest of the DBSK group were at the door, a look of shock plastered on their faces. "What... Happened?!" The leader asked, confused at the wreckage that was strewn across the floor of their rich apartment. "Jaejoong... Why are you in the corner there?!"
"I...I'm in love!" The singer sobbed. "With Mary-Magdeline-Hillary-Rosette-Azmaria-Joshua-Sue!" He cried, running to his friend's arm and crying on Yunho's shirt. "But... She had to leave me to save the world!" Jaejoong lamented. "And she's cursed with turning into a rat when she's in love!" Jaejoong was in hysterics at this point, sobbing and wiping his snot on Yunho's shirt. "She's only been gone three minutes and fifteen seconds... but I miss her so much!" He cried.
Yunho looked at the other band members with a slightly confused look on his face. "... There, there.." He comforted. "I'm sure Mary-Teriyaki-Shi-Shi-Kabob-Kakashi-Sakura-Sue will come back to you... She's just out to save the world... girls like her do that all the time..."
While he was trying to console his older friend, he motioned for Changmin to call the local psychiatrist and asylum. Just in case.