I OWN NOTHING. YOU DON'T CARE? NO? GOOD. ME NEITHER.
For Maria- darling, dearest, dead.
If you are interested in fanfics with happy endings, you would be better off clicking somewhere else. In this fanfic, there is not only no happy ending, there is no happy beginning, and very few happy things in the middle. This is because not very many happy things happened in the lives of the three Boomelaire youngsters. Sonic, Amy-Rose, and Shadow Boomelaire were intelligent children , and they were charming, and resourceful, and had pleasant facial features, but were extremely unlucky, and most everything that happened to them was rife with misfortune, misery, and despair. I'm sorry to tell you this, but that is how the story goes.
Their misfortune began one day at Briny beach. The three Boomelaire children lived with their parents in an enormous mansion at the heart of a dirty and busy city, and occasionally their parents gave them permission to take a rickety trolley- the word "rickety" you probably know, here means "unsteady" or "likely to collapse"- alone to the seashore, where they would spend the day as a sort of vacation as long as they were home for dinner. This particular morning was gray and cloudy, which didn't bother the Boomelaires one bit. On hot and sunny days, briny beach was crowded with tourists and it was impossible to find a good place to lay one's blanket.
This is your last chance to press the back button, because I' m about to start telling you their story.
Don't say I didn't warn you. Sonic Boomelaire, at seventeen, was an inventor. He could build a forty-four pistol caliber out of rubber bands, paperclips, and a water pistol. He was also the fastest runner in the world. One could tell Sonic was thinking very hard when he was rubbing his temples with his left thumb and index finger. Today was thinking of how to make a stroller that could be controlled by the baby in it. He loved books (not as much as his sister, whom we shall meet in a brief moment), but hated to wear his reading glasses, thinking they made him look like a nerd (a term which here means someone who cares for nothing but fiction and cartoons).
Amy-Rose, or Amy, was he researcher of the group. Unlike her brother, her eyesight was 20-20 – a term that here means "100% perfect"- perfect. She had read all the books in her parents' library at least 20 times over each. At 14 years old, she had read more books than anyone had in their whole lives. And everything she read, she remembered. She had decided to take a break from reading to skip rocks.
And finally, baby Shadow, only two months old. He had four very sharp teeth with which he liked to bite things. He could only speak in a series of shrieks and coos, like most babies. For instance, he was saying, "vooga!" over and over again, which probably meant, "Why did izfan26 make me the baby?"
"I don't know kiddo." Said sonic, tousling Shadow's black quills. He looked up at his sister from where he was sitting, and watched her skip a rock across to the other side of the lake and hit an unruly- the term "unruly" here means "rude and expletory toward women"- young man in the head causing him to fall forward. Her brothers started laughing hard. "Deefa!" declared Shadow, which meant, "I found that extremely amusing!"
"Shame I can't get it back."
"Oh, can't you?" Sonic held up his latest invention. Pressing a button, the pliers mounted on a spring reached across the lake and grabbed the stone. It returned to Sonic, and plopped the stone in his hand. "There you go, Amy." He threw it to her, and she caught it.
"thanks." She beamed. Then, looking over her brother's shoulder, noticed a figure in the mist. "Hey, look! It's Mr. Mario!"
"Huh?" said Sonic, scooping up Shadow in his arms. "From the bank? What's he doing here?"
"jeepo." Said Shadow, which meant "whatever the reason, it can't be good."
Mr. Mario, a chubby, short man, who on this particular day as wearing his normal red coveralls and hat. He looked the three up and down and sighed as though he had something unpleasant to tell them. "Children," he said, "I have something unpleasant to tell you."
"Yes?" replied the children.
"Your house and everything in it… was destroyed in a terrible fire. The fire department came, of course, but they were too late. They couldn't save the house, any possessions, or…" he paused and turned away as though too upset to continue. "… or your parents."
The children gasped.
"They're… gone?" whispered Sonic, picturing his inventing lab, his sister's library, his baby brother's room full of hard objects, all going up in flames. Now he'd never be able to make Shadow that stroller.
Amy, who hadn't spoken for several minutes now, not since Mr. Mario's arrival, ran to the water's edge and vomited. Her brothers ran to her.
"Speedie?" whimpered Shadow, tugging the hem of her dress.
"Amy?" Sonic's hand was stroking between her shoulder blades. He turned to Mr. Mario. "Just one sec." he pleaded. The banker nodded, giving them all the time they needed.
Finally, Amy finished her stress- induced regurgitation(the word induced here means "caused" and regurgitation means "barfing") and the three stumbled back to the banker. "I know you must feel terrible right now-"
"Are you FLIPPIN' KIDDING ME?! We just lost OUR PARENTS! Why do you think Amy was just BARFING?!"
Mr. Mario ignored Sonic( who, by the way, had a bad habit of blurting out the first thing that came to his mind) and continued. "-but I got a call moments after your parents death. Your dear uncle count Robotnik, said he was willing to adopt you."
"Who the heck's he?"
"Consider yourselves lucky, children. He's a scientist by trade. Generosity is rare in his profession."
Mr. Mario started toward the car. Sonic extended his free hand to Amy, and she gripped it tightly. "Hey," he said, feigning- a word which here means "faking"- optimism. "What's one year with this Robotnik dude?"
And this is where the Boomelaire children- the Boomelaire orphans now- were led away from the beach and their former lives.
A.N.- WELL, WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK? LOVE IT? HATE IT? SHOULD I CONTINUE? WELL, I'M GONNA CONTINUE, SO BUCK OFF. R&R!