WHEN BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO BAD PEOPLE
Guy Self once grew a pair of horns!
He gave a startled yelp.
He ran to Hanssen's office,
But Hanssen couldn't help.
"It's all that bad inside you, Guy,
That's made you look so strange,
You wouldn't heed our warnings,
As we all begged you to change.
Well, maybe we could operate,
To say this gives me pain,
The only way to move those horns
Is to remove your brain."
Selfie sat sobbing like a child,
And looked quite scared and lost.
"Now let me see" said Hanssen,
I've a plan… but it will cost.
You must go to the Holby woods-
-Don't stop for drink or food,
And when you reach the big oak tree,
Dance round it in the nude.
Before that you must write a cheque-
A very large amount,
And give it to the Hanssen Trust-
No, Pay Pal will not count!"
Poor stupid Selfie did all that,
Then, from behind the tree
Skipped Sacha, Morven Raf and Dom,
Who laughed uproariously.
"Oh, Selfie-Baby, you've been had!
We got your picture, too.
You shouldn't underestimate
The power of superglue!"
This tale sums up my warning,
Though perhaps a little corny,
Don't nod off in your break-
You might just end up feeling horny.