So, I wanted this story to have songs as the titles for each chapter.. It was a good idea at 3am okay. This chapter is named after a song by sleeping with sirens.

Staring down at my arms, that were now raw, I felt a tear trickle down my face as I searched for another part of my skin to cut.. There was almost none that wasn't impossible to cover before college.

"Dan.. Come down and get some breakfast."

My mum called to me as I jumped up, slightly startled. Hiding this from her was becoming harder and harder. She already knew I didn't eat (but made me food anyway) and if she knew I cut too she would think I was some kind of freak.

"Come on Dan.. You've gotta eat! It's your first day of Sixth form and I can't have you going in hungry." She called again.

I wouldn't be hungry.. She knew that. I had done it for so long now that I feel a constant numbing feeling in my stomach that never really changes.

"If you don't get down in 10 seconds you're not getting a lift and you can catch the bus" She called once again in a desperate attempt to get me down. It wasn't that far to walk yet I sighed with defeat and rolled my sleeve down as I made my way down the stairs.

"There you are!" she met me at the bottom of the stairs as she opened her arms to give me a hug. Why was she acting like this? She never usually acts this way.

I went to the living room to see my Dad. He was the only person who gave me any kind of happiness. I always saw him in the living room in the mornings while he set up his brief case to go to work. As I walked into the living room there was no one in there.

"Where's Dad?"

"Um.. He went to work early?"

"That's a lie.. His brief case is still in the corner."

"Dan.. Sit down. I think we have to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about." I ran up to my room and locked the door. I needed the release I had depended on for so many years. I deserved this. I was the reason Dad wasn't here.. It's obvious. I'm a faliure. I threw myself against the door and sank to the floor with my blade in one hand. I dug into a piece of skin I hadn't previously cut.

"Dan!" Mum called through the door knocking on it to get me out.

"Go away! It's my fault.. I know it's my fault!"

"No.. Dan. It's not your fault. He ran away in the night because he was scared of asking for a divorce. He's been cheating on me for months with a younger woman. It's nothing to do with you!"

"Just go away!"

"Okay.. You don't have to go in today if you don't want to sweetie"

"No.."

"Why not?"

I hated to admit it but starting sixth form might be slightly bearable.. It's a fresh start after all and people might not judge me as much as they used to in Secondary School.

"Because.. It's only the first day.. and.. It's only two hours to meet my year and my head of year.. I can stand that, right?" I told half the truth back to her.

"Okay, well what ever you want."

My heart rate slowed down to it's normal pace as I exhaled a sigh of relief at the fact she hadn't come in. She wouldn't be able to forgive me if she saw me cutting.

My Mum had already left for work by the time I had to go in.. So much for the lift. I got my bag that had a pencil case and a notebook. That's all we were told to bring. I tried to remember the way to the Secondary School that my sixth form was in. It wasn't my previous secondary school. It was one closer to home with less people I knew. I finally found the school.

"Hello. Welcome to Tachbrook Academy. I guess you're here for the sixth form college. I'm the Head Teacher, Mr Roberts. Nice to meet you" The man held his hand out. I was a few inches taller then him and he looked oddly similar to Boris Johnson, the Mayor of London. I didn't dare to tell him this. He would probably have me excluded on the first day. I just awkwardly smiled at him and shook his hand.

"Go towards that door and meet up with your form tutor." he said, pointing at what seemed to be the main hall.

"Um.. Who is my form tutor?"

"There is a list on that board over there. Just look for your name and the teachers name and inside the room each teacher will be wearing a large sticker with their name"

"Thanks sir" I said as I walked over to the notice board.

'Welcome all New year 12 students. These are your form groups.'

12M- Mr Adams: I scanned through all the names and mine was not on it.
12U- Mr Watson: My name was still not on it

12X- Miss Jackson: My name had to be on this one. I looked down and found my name about 11 or 12 places down.

I walked in the room and it wasn't too hard to recognise my teacher as it was the only woman form tutor. I approached her and she was a young looking slightly small woman with ginger hair.

"Hi" I said to her awkwardly. I hated speaking to people.

"Hey! Name?"

"Dan."

"last name?"

"Howell."

"Okay.. Can you pair with.." she started scrolling her pen up and down her register. "um.. Can you pair with Mr Lester?" She pointed to a boy with pale skin, bright blue eyes and jet black hair. I slowly walked up to him as he looked up from his book.

"Hey.. I'm Phil." He held his hand out like the head teacher had done earlier and I shook it, ever so slightly lost in his dazzaling eyes.

"Dan.."

"Nice to meet you, Dan"

"Yeah, you too, Phil"