Oof helloe, this my edward cullen x warroirs oc (Seafang) fanfic that i coe wrote hope you like : 3 i hope you find it as steamy as i did ;))))))
Twas' a dark and stormy night and two glowing orbs staired back at me. "Hey bae." said a steamy voice behind a bush. It felt so wrong but it looked soooo right. His butch hands stroked against my hot fur. "Ed.." my foice trailedd off. " Butt I weed you" Edward said moisting my ear. " I know, bt daddy doesn't suport us, but our lovee is true."."I tried so hard to persuade mr. morgan freeman to let you come to my man-pire cave, but we have noe choice; YOUMUSTRUNAWAYWITHME." "My cup runeth over edward bb." "Sweaty, come with me to Star BUUUUUUUCKS TO CRACK A COLD ONE OPEN WITHE THE BOIIIIS" edvard said in a sensual voice. I hear a rumble in the disance. "Hurricane katrina, more like hurricanae tortilla" I say in a trance. "Yes my love."
I like milk
To get shelter from hurricane tortilla, we run to ed's man-pire cave. While we were there, a anrgy gemlin by the name of Greyson stolee ed's perfume. "how am I supposed to smell manly now." he questioned himself. POndering the inner termoil of man kind and how suffring is always endless and ever lasting. THen i charge at the ugly gremlin and i tear off his ear. He screams in agony. "My baby!" he says. He lays down a cheeze stick in memorial of his lost love, thenhe leaves. "Im glad i killed Jeniffer Lopez." 'Me two. Like, love?" Ed asks me, his voice getting husky. "Nah fam. Im not in to that beastiality ya feel." HIt that like buttn is you think being haunted is kinda...hot" he says running his hand down my ear.
Hurricane tortilla has finally come opon us. The room rumbles, the ground shakes,tiny tim's tip-toe through the tulips can be heard playing. Edwards body lifts up off the ground. "I ANINT GONNA NO SLEEP CAUSE OF YALL. YALL ANIT GONNA GET NOE SLEEP CAUSE OF ME." "But, why edward?' tears filling up my eyes. "Can i get a waffle. can i please get a waffle." edward says as he decends into heaven. He whispers one more think into my hot ear 'Gurl you thickker than a bowl of oat meal." knowing this would be my last time ever seeing his i whisper. "AdAm..."
I was over come with depression. Why why why. Why? milk... WHy infront of my salad? How could edward do this to me. I thought he was bae, but it turns out he was just fam. I snorted up my salad and the left over cheeze stick to compensate for my depressons. And i teel you this tale as a warning : you will be fta when you are 40. Merry Hunnaka. Don't smash angry cats, becuase thats ew.
DISCLAMER: THIS IS A JOKE. IF YOU COOULD NOT ALREADY TELL THAT FROM THE MULTIPLE VINE REFRENCES. WE DONT OWN ANYTHING