Rating - R
Content - lots of swearing so if you are offended please don't read on, but if you do please don't be offended (if that makes any sense) Remember you've been warned.
Summery - After losing my muse in the Caribbean I have to enlist the help of Sands from OUATIM and the voices in my head to help find him.
Disclaimer - I don't own any of the original characters, although the things that I would do with Jack and Johnny and Sands. It's not worth thinking about well it is but I won't get away with typing it at an R rating.
I can say I own Cat and Cash (the voices inside my head unfortunately) But get this, if the whole story takes place in my head don't I own that to, even though I am not making any money from it I mean what's the worst that could happen Disney could come and take the voices and my head away, as things go that's not to bad at least It'll be quiet for a while.
Only kidding for some strange reason I've grown attached to my head apparently it's the only one I'll ever have, so I don't own any characters that you recognise I only play with them for short periods in time. Well sometimes when I'm alone at night too, but we're not going into that Just yet... I've only Just met you.
Anyways on with the fic,
""""""""""""""""""""""
This is a not so short story about an event that took place when I was writing a Pirates of the Caribbean fic.
So it all actually happened, granted it all happened in my head which, as you may learn or already know is a strange and scary place.
At some point in the fic that I was writing Buck (my muse) and I were standing on the deck of the Black Pearl discussing our next plot line and move when I was distracted by a spectacular view, Jack bent over and I got a good view of his ass which was looking very nice and rounded, you know just for future reference it might be important or crucial to my plot I have to take note of these things, I am the author you know.
When I looked back around after a moment or five Buck was nowhere to be seen and that was the last I heard or saw of him, he was just gone, vanished leaving no trace.
Of course I looked for him, I really did but he was nowhere to be seen, and as I wasn't written into the story I couldn't very well ask anyone for help due to the fact that they couldn't see or hear me.
Normally I would just wait for him to return and leave the story to its own devices, but Buck is more than just my muse...... No, he's not my lover; he is however the peace in my head the quiet place, the calm, the utter silence. He's so calm and collected, that is until he tells a story then he gets a little bit loud and crazy.
Let me explain about the thoughts and voices in my head to let you understand more about them.
There's me; I'm well... I'm me, not much I can say there. I'm going to be twenty soon, I'm Scottish, I used to watch the Fast Show religiously (honestly that was before I found out about Johnny Depp loving it, but then what self respecting person can say they don't?) and I have a tendency to drink too much rum, depending on what you think is too much rum, maybe for Jack I won't drink enough.
I have a thing for Johnny Depp, but then who doesn't? My hair is long, dark blonde with a lighter shade of blonde highlight, I am neither fat nor skinny (I'm festive, says with a grin) and my eyes are sometimes grey sometimes blue. I have ample cleavage which in my opinion is one of my best features that and my grip on sanity.
I suppose that I could be described as pretty, nice to look at but I look horrible in pictures, that's pretty much me, oh and my name is Linz. I'm fine, honestly I am it's the other two that you'll have to watch out for.
First there's Cash he's the voice who always wants to look after me, the protective one, he'll make casual observations about people who can be trusted and the ones who are lying, he's pretty much always right except for that one time with the otter, well I won't get in to that just now.
He hates my boyfriend because he makes me cry, and when I do cry he gives me big mental hugs and tells me that I can do better than him. If I had to describe him I'd say that he was 5'9 with shortish dirty blonde hair and grey/blue eyes, you know that just before the storm colour (we get that colour in Scotland a lot). He's the loyal, strong silent type that sees me as his, something to be protected according to him I belong to him, which gets very confusing because he's in my head.
If truth be told (which it has to be for this story to make any sense) he is the perfect man, he's what I look for in every man I meet (I know that it's not very healthy but it's just the way it is). I always saw him as a knife thrower, carrying lots of blades, but the other day he pulled out a gun and threatened to shoot my boyfriend between the eyes, which was pointless cause he lives in my head, but the sentiment was appreciated, not by Neil though.
Between me and you I think it hurts him that he can't fight my battles for me especially when I fight with Neil (boyfriend), Cash really hates him.
But I diverse from the original descriptions of my madness.
If Cash can be described as the strong protective voice, then Cat is the reason that I'm "slightly" unhinged she's the one that always suggests things like "throw the glass, chair, knife, book, video, cat" she often wonders what it would be like to take a knife to Neil's throat while he sleeps, or her latest is a hot needle to pierce his ear drum only one ear so that when he wakes up in pain he can still hear us laugh, Cash agrees with her when it comes to hurting Neil (Neil said that Cash was gay once which didn't exactly endear Cash to him) so I try not to listen to them much while I'm at Neil's flat for obvious reasons.
Thanks to her constant ramblings I've considered the possibilities and logistics of things that most sane people wouldn't even dream about and, I must admit that not all of it terrifies me, most of it does, but not all.
Cat is 5'6 with long strait black hair to her waist and green eyes. She's thin and agile and pretty. I think that her and Cash have a small thing for each other but thankfully all they do is argue, I don't think I could hold on to my sanity long enough if they started doing it in my head (shudder).
Then there's (or was) Buck my muse. He's small, about two foot tall and light blue and fluffy. He looks a bit like an e-wok from Star Wars and when he's around all is still and at peace in my head there is no voices telling me that I can do better than my boyfriend, and no voice telling me to garrotte him, or wondering just how much damage can you do with just a small piece of wire and a lighter.
He has been gone for two weeks and I miss him, Cash and Cat are driving me crazy literally. I nearly took a make-up brush to a clients eye just for the sheer hell of it (I am a make-up artist and Cat promised me the eye would squish nicely) I have decided to go after him I need the sheer contentment inside my head.
Even if I have to go into the story and shoot the little fucker in the knee caps, skin him alive and wear him back out as a hat (kay, that wasn't me talking, you see the thoughts that I have to put up with in my head)
The original story was about a girl called Jane Wood who had been found in Tortuga by Jack and he had allowed her to sail with them. Jack had thought that he had taken aboard a poor scared little girl with a pretty face and a kind heart, but she in fact was a cold calculating bitch who was spying on him for Captain Harris an old enemy of Jacks. Buck and I were going to kill her off as soon as we got the chance (we hated her), now however it looks like I am going to have to write myself in to the story to find Buck.
Once an author/character goes in to a story they can't come back out until they have accomplished whatever it is that they went in to do. Also I will have no control over any of the characters or plot once I write my self and others in. Going in is risky but it will have to be done in order to find Buck and my sanity.
I need back-up, I already have Cash and Cat but I need at least one more someone who knows people and who can manipulate them. Silently I run through the list in my head;
-Lucas Buck- that would be a no, he would probably just end up doing something creepy and then get into a fight with Cash .
-Edward- no, again. He took Peter to St Louis, that and Donna hates me and so would never let him play.
-Leon- (Cash, stop laughing) no, too soppy he would probably pick up some kid along the way and get him and us killed.
What I need is someone who would counteract that traitorous Jane bitch, Cat would gladly gut her but I need someone who can twist things and make them work to our advantage just like she can, and that was when I came up with my answer as simple as it was genius, it would be hard to pull off but, if he agrees and we manage to fool the pirates and Jack, then poor not so sweet Jane wouldn't have a chance. I've only worked with him once before, that didn't go so well, too many dead bodies ended up on the ground, this is gonna be fun or at the very least full of violence.
""""""""""""
Please review.
Top of Form
Bottom of Form
Content - lots of swearing so if you are offended please don't read on, but if you do please don't be offended (if that makes any sense) Remember you've been warned.
Summery - After losing my muse in the Caribbean I have to enlist the help of Sands from OUATIM and the voices in my head to help find him.
Disclaimer - I don't own any of the original characters, although the things that I would do with Jack and Johnny and Sands. It's not worth thinking about well it is but I won't get away with typing it at an R rating.
I can say I own Cat and Cash (the voices inside my head unfortunately) But get this, if the whole story takes place in my head don't I own that to, even though I am not making any money from it I mean what's the worst that could happen Disney could come and take the voices and my head away, as things go that's not to bad at least It'll be quiet for a while.
Only kidding for some strange reason I've grown attached to my head apparently it's the only one I'll ever have, so I don't own any characters that you recognise I only play with them for short periods in time. Well sometimes when I'm alone at night too, but we're not going into that Just yet... I've only Just met you.
Anyways on with the fic,
""""""""""""""""""""""
This is a not so short story about an event that took place when I was writing a Pirates of the Caribbean fic.
So it all actually happened, granted it all happened in my head which, as you may learn or already know is a strange and scary place.
At some point in the fic that I was writing Buck (my muse) and I were standing on the deck of the Black Pearl discussing our next plot line and move when I was distracted by a spectacular view, Jack bent over and I got a good view of his ass which was looking very nice and rounded, you know just for future reference it might be important or crucial to my plot I have to take note of these things, I am the author you know.
When I looked back around after a moment or five Buck was nowhere to be seen and that was the last I heard or saw of him, he was just gone, vanished leaving no trace.
Of course I looked for him, I really did but he was nowhere to be seen, and as I wasn't written into the story I couldn't very well ask anyone for help due to the fact that they couldn't see or hear me.
Normally I would just wait for him to return and leave the story to its own devices, but Buck is more than just my muse...... No, he's not my lover; he is however the peace in my head the quiet place, the calm, the utter silence. He's so calm and collected, that is until he tells a story then he gets a little bit loud and crazy.
Let me explain about the thoughts and voices in my head to let you understand more about them.
There's me; I'm well... I'm me, not much I can say there. I'm going to be twenty soon, I'm Scottish, I used to watch the Fast Show religiously (honestly that was before I found out about Johnny Depp loving it, but then what self respecting person can say they don't?) and I have a tendency to drink too much rum, depending on what you think is too much rum, maybe for Jack I won't drink enough.
I have a thing for Johnny Depp, but then who doesn't? My hair is long, dark blonde with a lighter shade of blonde highlight, I am neither fat nor skinny (I'm festive, says with a grin) and my eyes are sometimes grey sometimes blue. I have ample cleavage which in my opinion is one of my best features that and my grip on sanity.
I suppose that I could be described as pretty, nice to look at but I look horrible in pictures, that's pretty much me, oh and my name is Linz. I'm fine, honestly I am it's the other two that you'll have to watch out for.
First there's Cash he's the voice who always wants to look after me, the protective one, he'll make casual observations about people who can be trusted and the ones who are lying, he's pretty much always right except for that one time with the otter, well I won't get in to that just now.
He hates my boyfriend because he makes me cry, and when I do cry he gives me big mental hugs and tells me that I can do better than him. If I had to describe him I'd say that he was 5'9 with shortish dirty blonde hair and grey/blue eyes, you know that just before the storm colour (we get that colour in Scotland a lot). He's the loyal, strong silent type that sees me as his, something to be protected according to him I belong to him, which gets very confusing because he's in my head.
If truth be told (which it has to be for this story to make any sense) he is the perfect man, he's what I look for in every man I meet (I know that it's not very healthy but it's just the way it is). I always saw him as a knife thrower, carrying lots of blades, but the other day he pulled out a gun and threatened to shoot my boyfriend between the eyes, which was pointless cause he lives in my head, but the sentiment was appreciated, not by Neil though.
Between me and you I think it hurts him that he can't fight my battles for me especially when I fight with Neil (boyfriend), Cash really hates him.
But I diverse from the original descriptions of my madness.
If Cash can be described as the strong protective voice, then Cat is the reason that I'm "slightly" unhinged she's the one that always suggests things like "throw the glass, chair, knife, book, video, cat" she often wonders what it would be like to take a knife to Neil's throat while he sleeps, or her latest is a hot needle to pierce his ear drum only one ear so that when he wakes up in pain he can still hear us laugh, Cash agrees with her when it comes to hurting Neil (Neil said that Cash was gay once which didn't exactly endear Cash to him) so I try not to listen to them much while I'm at Neil's flat for obvious reasons.
Thanks to her constant ramblings I've considered the possibilities and logistics of things that most sane people wouldn't even dream about and, I must admit that not all of it terrifies me, most of it does, but not all.
Cat is 5'6 with long strait black hair to her waist and green eyes. She's thin and agile and pretty. I think that her and Cash have a small thing for each other but thankfully all they do is argue, I don't think I could hold on to my sanity long enough if they started doing it in my head (shudder).
Then there's (or was) Buck my muse. He's small, about two foot tall and light blue and fluffy. He looks a bit like an e-wok from Star Wars and when he's around all is still and at peace in my head there is no voices telling me that I can do better than my boyfriend, and no voice telling me to garrotte him, or wondering just how much damage can you do with just a small piece of wire and a lighter.
He has been gone for two weeks and I miss him, Cash and Cat are driving me crazy literally. I nearly took a make-up brush to a clients eye just for the sheer hell of it (I am a make-up artist and Cat promised me the eye would squish nicely) I have decided to go after him I need the sheer contentment inside my head.
Even if I have to go into the story and shoot the little fucker in the knee caps, skin him alive and wear him back out as a hat (kay, that wasn't me talking, you see the thoughts that I have to put up with in my head)
The original story was about a girl called Jane Wood who had been found in Tortuga by Jack and he had allowed her to sail with them. Jack had thought that he had taken aboard a poor scared little girl with a pretty face and a kind heart, but she in fact was a cold calculating bitch who was spying on him for Captain Harris an old enemy of Jacks. Buck and I were going to kill her off as soon as we got the chance (we hated her), now however it looks like I am going to have to write myself in to the story to find Buck.
Once an author/character goes in to a story they can't come back out until they have accomplished whatever it is that they went in to do. Also I will have no control over any of the characters or plot once I write my self and others in. Going in is risky but it will have to be done in order to find Buck and my sanity.
I need back-up, I already have Cash and Cat but I need at least one more someone who knows people and who can manipulate them. Silently I run through the list in my head;
-Lucas Buck- that would be a no, he would probably just end up doing something creepy and then get into a fight with Cash .
-Edward- no, again. He took Peter to St Louis, that and Donna hates me and so would never let him play.
-Leon- (Cash, stop laughing) no, too soppy he would probably pick up some kid along the way and get him and us killed.
What I need is someone who would counteract that traitorous Jane bitch, Cat would gladly gut her but I need someone who can twist things and make them work to our advantage just like she can, and that was when I came up with my answer as simple as it was genius, it would be hard to pull off but, if he agrees and we manage to fool the pirates and Jack, then poor not so sweet Jane wouldn't have a chance. I've only worked with him once before, that didn't go so well, too many dead bodies ended up on the ground, this is gonna be fun or at the very least full of violence.
""""""""""""
Please review.
Top of Form
Bottom of Form