Author: miss_peg
Word Count: 2555
Rating: K+
Summary: When Jane ropes Lisbon into helping him look after Benjamin Rigsby it opens wounds she's not quite ready to talk about.
Disclaimer: I don't own The Mentalist, if I did, well, this would be a fun direction to take, maybe.
Notes: Written for mentalist_bb
Thank you to tromana for EVERTHING: the support, cheerleading, betaing and this time art as well! So much cute right there in the art; I just want to smush little Ben's cheeks.

Teresa Lisbon entered the bullpen, her jacket wrapped around her arms and her purse resting over her shoulder. She searched her pockets for the keys to her car when the distinct sound of a child fussing made her glance up.

'Err, Jane?' she asked, frowning as he bounced a small child on his knees. 'Where did you get the kid from?'

'This,' he announced, turning him around. 'Is Benjamin Rigsby.'

It took her a moment to recognise the eyes that still sparkled blue and the dark hair which was considerably thicker than the last time she'd seen him. Lisbon dropped her purse onto the nearest desk and sat down beside Jane.

'Hello there Benji,' she smiled.

'Say hello Lisbon,' said Jane and the little boy attempted something that sounded more like ''ello 'isber'. The very attempt brought a large grin to her face to the point where her cheeks ached.

'What is Benjamin doing here?' said Lisbon, glancing across to Rigsby's empty desk. 'I thought Rigs left half an hour ago.'

'Oh, he did.'

The lack of elaboration did anything but relay her worries over the welfare of the child. Rigsby was a good parent; she knew he wouldn't leave his son accidentally. Nor did she imagine Sarah would drop him off without knowing exactly where Rigsby was going to be.

'I'm Ben-sitting,' said Jane, putting Benjamin onto his shoulders and running slowly around the bullpen. 'Airplane!'

'Aipane,' Ben repeated.

Lisbon placed a hand on her hip and watched Jane's playful nature. As welcomed as it was to see him let loose and relax once in a while as he so often did when children were around, she also wanted an answer.

'Ben is staying over with me because Rigsby has a date.'

'Oh,' said Lisbon and though she didn't expect to, she sounded worried.

'You're forgetting that I'm the only one who has actually had a child,' said Jane, barely giving time to her concerns as he clapped and cheered at Benjamin flying around on his shoulders.

'It's just been a long time,' she whispered, half to herself.

Jane stopped moving and lifted Benjamin down, placing him on the couch and handing him a couple of toys that were dotted around the space. He walked towards the table at the other end of the bullpen and waited for Lisbon to join him.

'I just hope you know what you've let yourself in for,' she said. 'He's a toddler, they can be hard work.'

'Rigsby wouldn't have accepted my offer if he didn't trust me to look after his child.'

'I know.'

The serious expression on Jane's face rattled Lisbon to the point of apology. She disliked the accusation she was throwing at him. Though her worries weren't allayed she still felt the need to make it up to him for her allegation.

Then Jane's cheekbones formed as his straight mouth grew into the most dazzling smile and she wanted to punch him.

'Couldn't help it,' he said. 'Wanna help me take care of him? I think he'd be more at home in an townhouse than a motel room, or worse, the attic.'

Lisbon let out a soft groan. When she walked into the bullpen she intended to wish him a good night and curl up on her couch with a glass of wine and a movie. The last thing she expected to do was take care of a child, and a toddler at that.

'You know I'm right,' said Jane. 'Besides, who can turn down a face like that?'

Benjamin sat on the edge of the couch, his chubby fingers wrapped tightly around the wings of a stuffed duck. His little face staring so intently at the colourful feathers that covered its body. Jane was right and she hated him for it.

'I'll meet you at mine,' she muttered, picking up her purse and heading for the door. She stopped and turned. 'You do have a car seat for him, right?'

'Oh no,' said Jane, but she quickly saw through the mock tone. She picked up another stuffed animal from Ben's bag and threw it across the room, hitting him on the arm as he attempted to shield himself from the missile. On the short walk towards the elevator Lisbon could hear Jane talking to Ben. 'Never copy anything Aunt Lisbon does.'

x

'Here we are,' said Jane, entering Lisbon's apartment with Ben sat comfortably in his arms.

Lisbon stood nervously opposite, unsure of what to do next; there were no set rules, no guidelines on how to share babysitting responsibilities. Where Jane was concerned she knew that if there were, the lines would be blurred already.

'You take Ben,' he said.

Without giving her a chance to detest, Jane placed Benjamin into Lisbon's arms. She held him awkwardly and though she knew how to hold a small child correctly, the lack of warning left her dumbfounded.

'See you soon,' said Jane. 'I have to go and pick up Ben's travel cot from Sarah's.'

'But,' Lisbon began, her voice trailing off as Jane closed the apartment door behind him. She would have cursed loudly, or thrown something, but being left, quite literally, holding the baby, there was little she could do but stare at the closed door.

The unfamiliar weight in her arms reminded her of years gone by when she held her niece as a bouncy toddler. Her feet kicked out at every available opportunity and Lisbon was forced to bend down and hold her hand. The ache in her back was one she remembered fondly. Benjamin, she very quickly learnt, loved to be held. When she placed him on the floor in order to get him some juice, he jumped up and down shouting 'up' until she lifted him back up into her arms.

'Aipane,' he giggled, almost climbing onto her shoulders, before she reined him in.

'Not until you've had some juice.'

'No,' he shouted, letting go of the juice cup moments after Lisbon had pulled her hand away.

She rolled her eyes. 'You little menace.'

'No,' he shouted again, his hands grasping at her neck until she gave in and lifted him onto her shoulders. He clung tightly to the strands of her hair and despite the gentle tug of his fingers; she continued to move around the room making airplane noises.

When she placed him down on the ground, the cycle started all over again.

She couldn't remember the last time she'd been around such a needy child, though it was hardly surprising having his parents split up when he was too young to understand. Lisbon had spent more of her later childhood surrounded by three teenage brothers, Annabeth was quite the independent little girl and her nephews were relatively well behaved, not that she saw them frequently enough for it to matter.

'Finally, Jane,' she muttered as he entered the room. She passed Ben over to him. 'I don't know how to calm him down.'

'You could try the airplane,' said Jane, barely grasping the little boy's waist before he thrust him back into Lisbon's arms.

'And get him riled up? I'm not doing the airplane all night.'

'Come on Teresa, use your maternal instinct, you can do it.'

'What if I don't want to?' she asked, avoiding her gaze landing on Jane as she placed Benjamin on the floor and walked out of the room.

x

The ruckus outside her bedroom door died down shortly after she'd closed it. Lisbon lay on her bed with a book in hand rereading the same paragraph over and over. She was too distracted by the overactive thoughts running through her mind, not to mention the sound of Jane attempting to settle Ben in the other room. Eventually she placed her bookmark back between the pages and tossed the book onto the floor.

Jane tapped lightly on the wooden frame, 'Ben wants to say goodnight Aunt Lisbon.'

'Fine,' she muttered, just loud enough for Jane hear. He pushed the handle down and entered her bedroom.

The sight of Ben both made her grin and want to cry, though she pushed aside the feeling to do either and sat up against her pillows.

'May I?' asked Jane, Lisbon nodded and he settled into the empty space beside her on the bed. Ben climbed out of his arms and sat between them, searching the new environment around him with wide eyes.

'He's a good kid,' said Lisbon, resting a hand on his back. He turned and smiled at her, his finger outstretched. Then he crawled back across the bed and onto her lap.

''isber,' he said through a toothy grin and rested his head against her chest.

Lisbon could barely contain the elation as he wrapped his arms as far around her as he could reach and closed his eyes. She sat there in silence, brushing his hair back from his face until his breathing evened out and he made a small sound with each intake of breath. Feelings bubbled up inside her stomach and though she tried to push them to one side they niggled at her like Jane desperate for attention.

Jane's presence had completely passed her by until he appeared at the side of the bed with his arms outstretched.

'Shall I…?' he asked quietly, when she nodded he reached out to take Benjamin.

A small worried murmur made him stop and Lisbon wrapped her arms around Ben's body, lifting him up so that she could manoeuvre off the bed. Jane dragged the travel cot into her room before she lowered him onto the soft mattress. He fussed a little before settling down under his blanket.

Jane signalled towards the door and they tiptoed out of the room, Lisbon glanced back across towards Benjamin before she turned out the light.

x

'Wine?' Jane asked, handing her a large glass of red which Lisbon accepted gratefully.

Jane sat down on the couch and patted the space beside him; she took it up and curled her legs underneath her body, resting her arm against the armrest. She stared blindly at the television set as a commercial flickered across the screen, she didn't care much for whatever was on the television. The volume was barely loud enough and it was later than she usually sat down to watch a movie.

'You were great with him,' said Jane, sipping his wine and smiling.

'He's a good kid,' Lisbon repeated, her eyes travelling back towards the door that lead to her bedroom.

'Did you ever think of having a family?'

The question took her by surprise. Lisbon sat in silence for a while, her teeth pressed tightly together until her jaw began to ache.

'There's still time,' he muttered.

Lisbon swallowed the rest of the wine in her glass and stood up.

'More wine?' she asked, not waiting for a reply as she carried her glass into the kitchen.

She could feel Jane on her heel, always the prying mind jumping into other people's thoughts. She cursed him silently and then put all of her energy into containing everything she didn't want to say out loud.

'I often think about having more children,' he whispered. Lisbon jumped at the sound of his voice so painfully quiet and close. Had she not been in a fragile state of mind she'd probably have punched him. When Lisbon finally looked up she noticed a look in his eye that he didn't get very often, that faraway glance as though his mind had gone for a walk around his memory palace. She'd often wondered if Jane had planned more children with his wife, before, only to push the thought aside because it mattered little to the past, present or future.

'A sore subject,' said Jane, placing his glass down in front of her as she poured wine into her own. 'Not too much, one of us needs to stay sober.'

'It's none of your damn business,' said Lisbon, placing the wine bottle down on the counter harder than she intended. The sound reverberated around the room and they silenced themselves, awaiting a potential cry from Ben. When no sound came from the other room, Lisbon abandoned the wine and returned to the couch.

'Sorry.' Jane sat down beside her, his sheepish expression forcing his way back through the wall she'd purposefully built.

'Sometimes we make decisions about what we want in life and sometimes life makes them for us.'

She didn't say anything else after that and he didn't push her. They just sat in silence, watching television until the commercials ended and Lisbon offered Jane her couch to sleep on before she excused herself and went to bed.