"Ow!"
The tip of the heart-shaped arrowhead punctures through his glove; blood wells up from the cut on his finger, a crimson droplet against black leather.
Roxanne laughs, and Megamind looks up at her sharply.
He's—he's never heard her laugh before; the sound of it is beautiful.
(he wants to make her do it again, over and over again, even if he has to bleed each time for it.)
"You are in trouble now, aren't you?" she says, eyes sparkling with mischief.
Megamind jerks in surprise, thinking for one paranoid instant that she's read his thoughts about him bleeding and her laughter.
Roxanne nods at his hand, at the arrow he's still holding.
"Don't you remember what happened to Cupid?" she asks.
"I—"
Roxanne grins at him and his heart flutters.
"—as though you'd spend even one night not looking, Miss Ritchi," he says without thinking, and then immediately and wholeheartedly regrets it, because the implication—oh god, what's wrong with him—
Roxanne throws her head back and laughs. Megamind blushes hot.
(the sound of her laughter is still beautiful. the embarrassment of making that singularly inappropriate comment is immediately worth it, just as the pain of the cut from the arrow was worth it.)
"—you'd have had that candle out right away," he mutters, face burning, "nobody would have had to talk you into it."
He puts his hurt finger in his mouth, less out of the belief that this might make the pain ease and more out of a desire to make himself stop talking, for evil's sake Megamind, just stop talking—
Roxanne laughs again, and Megamind can barely stop himself from swooning.
"You're right; I totally would have," she says, then gives him a particularly teasing smile. "Would you have thrown me out for it?"
"No, of course not," he says automatically—
—and then, realizing what he's said, immediately panics and presses the button to open up the floor and reveal the alligators.
Alligators may not be in the spirit of Valentine's Day, and they certainly hadn't factored into his original death trap plans—
But!
There's really nothing like sudden and unexpected alligators for getting out of an awkward social situation!
"What was all that you and Miss Ritchi were talking about?" Uncle Tracy asks, leading Megamind back to his prison cell after Metro Man's rescue of Miss Ritchi and Megamind's arrest.
"Nothing," Megamind mutters, face flaming. "It was nothing."
"It didn't sound like nothing."
"It was nothing!"
"It was flirting!" Uncle Ivan says as they pass his cell.
Uncle Tracy, who had been walking very slowly in any case, actually stops next to Uncle Ivan's cell.
"Really," Uncle Tracy says interestedly. "You sure?"
"Don't you remember?" Uncle Ivan says as Megamind groans and hides his face in his handcuffed hands. "That greek mythology kick Blue was on for a while when he was a kid? Cupid and Psyche—"
"Can we please not—" Megamind says loudly, but Uncle Ivan just raises his voice and continues talking over him.
"Cupid cut himself on one of his own arrows and fell in love with Psyche! That's what Miss Ritchi meant—"
"The arrow was probably overkill in this case," Uncle George interjects from the next cell.
Megamind, face still covered, moans in abject humiliation.
"—and he kidnapped her," Uncle Ivan continues, "and they—ahem—slept together—"
"—you know what would be wonderful?" Megamind says conversationally, to the universe at large. "Not having this conversation. Ever."
Everyone ignores him.
"—they slept together every night," Uncle Ivan goes on, "only it was always dark in the room and she wasn't allowed to look at him for—some reason; I don't know. But her sisters talked her into it and she lit a candle and looked. And then he threw her out and she had to go through all kinds of trouble to win him back and—"
Uncle George suddenly makes a series of urgent gestures and Uncle Ivan falls silent with a gulp, eyes fixing on a point somewhere behind Megamind and Uncle Tracy.
Uncle Tracy turns around guiltily.
"Warden!" he says, "Uh. I was just—"
"Oh, good!" Megamind says loudly, "Warden! I am a very, very dangerous criminal! Very dangerous! Extremely criminal! And! I should be put in solitary confinement! Immediately!"
The Warden regards all of them with a stern, unreadable gaze—and then he lifts his mug to his lips, takes a sip of coffee, lowers the mug.
He fixes his eyes on Megamind, then, and his mustache works for a moment.
"You know," he says finally, "I think Miss Ritchi would prefer it if you just asked her out instead of springing alligators on her, son."
All of the uncles break out into relieved laughter and agreement as Megamind sputters in incoherent outrage.
"I—I—! That's—! I have no idea what you're talking about!"
The Warden raises an eyebrow.
"Of course she wouldn't prefer it!" Megamind snaps, flushing. "Don't be ridiculous!"
"Huh," the Warden says. "Guess you didn't catch it, then."
"The complete and utter nonsense of—catch it?" Megamind says. "Catch what?"
The Warden raises both eyebrows.
"She asked if you'd throw her out for looking," he says, then pauses.
Megamind waits for him to go on, and then, when the Warden doesn't, he gestures irritably with his handcuffed hands.
"Yes, and?"
"She asked if you'd throw her out," the Warden says again. "As in—she wouldn't have left if she saw it was you."
Megamind's jaw drops.
The jaws of all his uncles drop.
The Warden takes a smug sip of coffee, salutes the whole group of them with his mug, and then walks away.
For a moment, none of them say anything as all of them stare after him.
Then, without any warning at all, Megamind gives his hands a quick twist, jerks off the suddenly loose handcuffs, snaps one cuff onto Uncle Tracy's wrist and the other on the bar of Uncle Ivan's cell.
"—I have to go," Megamind blurts out, and takes off running for the exit.
"Yeah!" Uncle George calls after him.
"Go on!" Uncle Ivan shouts.
"Go get her, kid!" Uncle Tracy yells, and rattles the handcuffs against the cell bar encouragingly.
...the end.
I hope you enjoyed the story for day four of my Nine Days of Megamind!And that you enjoyed the return of some members of Megamind's prison family, who were first seen in my story Say It Out Loud!
(If you missed the fic for days two and three of the Nine Days of Megamind, change your settings to view M rated stories and you should see it!)