"Klavier, we need to talk."
Klavier stopped his mindless strumming at his desk. He looked at the doorway to see a determined Apollo standing at the doorway. Tucking away his mind's whispers of break up and separation, Klavier put on his best smile and motioned toward the couch. Apollo nodded, and walked in, never once putting his hands at his sides.
His body language screamed that Apollo was uncomfortable. His eyes were shifting around, first stopping at his guitar collection, and then again at his neatly organized desk. They turned again and faced Klavier. He smiled again. Apollo looked away.
"So what do you want to talk about?" Klavier asked.
Apollo took a deep breath, and immediate Klavier began thinking about everything that could come out of that mouth. From a family death to separation, he was preparing himself for the worst. It didn't stop the small heart attack he was feeling with every suggestion his mind supplied.
"I need space," Apollo admitted and Klavier's mind went full speed in some direction.
Of course the relationship really couldn't last. Apollo was just too good for someone like him. They both worked long hours, and he really didn't have time for a relationship. He should have just stayed satisfied with a friendship. Those brief moments they had together, the occasional meal together: it was enough. Then he had to get greedy and wanted more. He wanted more of those moments and the little happiness that came with them.
He knew Apollo wasn't too confident in their relationship either. He could read his body language like Apollo could with all of their clients. What was the breaking point, Klavier wondered. Was it his previous celebrity lifestyle that was finally taking the toll? Did he push to hard recently? Maybe Apollo never loved him in the first place. Klavier tried to smile, but he could hardly hide the hurt showing in his eyes.
"Stop it," Apollo ordered, and Klavier did. His mind stopped. It blissfully stopped from running itself through thousands of solutions ranging from money to serenades.
"I'm sorry," Apollo said, and Klavier swallowed hard. "That was some bad phrasing, wasn't it? I didn't mean I wanted to separate: I just meant that you need to stop being so controlling."
And then his mind went racing again.
"Klavier, stop!" Apollo practically screamed. "You need to listen."
"I am listening," Klavier gritted out. His teeth were clenched. He wasn't angry. Tears were threatening to fall. He wasn't sad. His mind was racing. He wasn't anxious.
"You're not listening to me." Apollo corrected, and then his mind went silent again. Klavier took a deep breath, tried to maintain the silence, and then opened his eyes.
Looking at Apollo, he noticed that the arms were no longer crossed. "What do you mean by 'controlling?'"
Klavier has seen it all: women with abusive boyfriends, men with abusive girlfriends, horrible wives and husbands and other significant others. Bruises that were supposed to be love marks, and words that should have been comforting: they were all things those monsters had in their arsenal. Monsters that Apollo was claiming he was.
Apollo sighed, as if this has been a huge weight on his chest. "You always need to know where I'm going and how long I am going to be there, even if I don't know myself. Then you get all moody if I don't tell you. You're always near me when I'm with friends. You're becoming suffocating Klavier."
Warning sign #3: if your significant other starts becoming very obsessive over your location, this may be a sign that they are abusive.
Another sigh came from his side. "I'm sorry that we're doing this, but you need to listen to me Klavier."
"I understand." He wasn't angry. Goddammit he wasn't angry. "You hate me. I'm a mess up, I know. After Kristoph I-"
"Stop!"
Klavier shut up.
"If this is your way of apologizing, you need to stop right now," Apollo looked furious right now. His arms were crossed again. His eyes were staring right at him. Klavier briefly glanced at his bracelet in a bit of curiosity.
Unable to hold the stare, he took a deep breath, and looked away.
"Talk, please. I know I might not look it, but I am listening. At this point, the only thing I might be able to trust is my ears," Klavier explained as he closed his eyes and placed his hands on his lap. This has always been his way of coping with unimaginable things: to listen. Listening helped him find the truth in court, find his songs, and at this moment, get a hold on reality.
Apollo hesitated for a moment, as if he was unsure of whether or not he was telling the truth. The silence was deafening, and Klavier was relieved to hear his boyfriend's voice again.
"As I was saying, this behavior is starting to stress me out. It's not healthy Klavier. I know you're a perfectionist, and I'm not asking you to change, but I need to have space." Klavier felt his hand being pulled to his right. "I want you in my life, but I can't have you be my life, do you understand?"
In his moment of clarity, Klavier understood. There was no anger from Apollo. It was just concern and the desire for freedom: simple desires by any man. Klavier's fingers curled around Apollo's.
"How long?" Klavier asked, still closing his eyes and listening. It was as if the world stopped in its chaos and everything was clear. Apollo still seemed scared of what to say next, but a squeeze of reassurance seemed to be enough encouragement.
"I noticed first at Mr. Wright's birthday party a couple months ago where you hardly let me out of your sights… Klavier, you're not a bad person. You weren't doing this on purpose; you're not like one of those bad guys on TV or anything."
Stockholm Syndrome. It has to be. There's no way that he would forgive you for something like this. His brain supplied. Klavier silenced it.
This wasn't the first time that his obsessive tendencies have been addressed. His band members were his biggest critiques with his constant speech practices and rehearsals. His brother was as well, but he had was beginning to think his critiques was a result of Kristoph's lost of power rather than him being too controlling. He couldn't really help it though.
He liked being in control. When he was in control, it was like everything was going amazingly. Nothing was betraying him. Everything was expected. There were no surprises. The media can say what they wanted: Klavier needed predictability. He needed to know what was going happen at a certain place and at a certain time.
Even in court where defense lawyers brought out certain curveballs, he eventually found their path and was able to either follow or set them back on course to the truth. It was a matter finding the map, and that was something Klavier was very good at. Apollo was especially good at guiding him, especially when it was dark, and the path was basically nonexistent. He was the light that guided him out of that trial, and he is the light that is guiding him to be better.
His brain whispered seductive suggestions to not change because change is hard. Change makes things unpredictable again. This might be a ploy to completely change him as well, just like Kristoph had done so many years ago. He wasn't going to be tricked again. He wasn't. He had his life back finally. He finally had a choice he was grateful of all on his own without the blessing of his family or brother. This was his! Apollo was his! This was-
No. He stopped himself again Here he was dragging Apollo with him, when they should have been walking side-by-side. This way, if one fell, they could help them up instead of bringing the other down. This was what this relationship was meant to do.
With the world now blissfully silent, Klavier opened his eyes. He turned his head and stared at Apollo. His boyfriend looked upset, as if Apollo was the one hurting him. As if Apollo could do anything wrong in his standards; he was the most amazing person he knew – was it wrong to want to keep by his side forever? (You were dragging him Klavier. Remember that.)
"Apollo," he said at last, and Apollo looked up. Klavier so wanted to kiss him and just make this conversation go away, but it needs to be addressed. Apollo went through all the trouble to gather the courage to talk to him. Now it was time for him to think of the solution.
"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I was being… obsessive over you, and I understand why you might be afraid of that side of me. It is a part of me that I am not proud of; however, I will do my best to remedy that side of me."
"I'm not asking you to change," Apollo objected. "I just wanted you to realize what you were doing, and I guess, maybe just keep it down."
"Nonetheless, what I did was in no way to treat someone, and for that, I apologize. Please, if this begins to happen again, let me know," Klavier offered, and Apollo looked up at him again. Klavier quickly glanced at the bracelet and was pleased to see that it was not reacting to him at all. Apollo noticed and smiled.
"Thanks schatzi," Apollo thanked, his pronunciation only slightly off. Klavier smiled.
"It is my pleasure, anata."
"If this is okay then, is okay that we discuss more about it?" Apollo asked, and Klavier couldn't be happy.
They talked all night, not just about this, but also about everything. How their day was, what happened in court, Klavier's newest ballad, and Apollo growing skill in learning German.
The next time, it was a party in celebration to Trucy's high school graduation. Klavier took a deep breath and allowed himself to separate from Apollo. He watched in the background as Apollo was taken victim for Trucy's newest magic trick. He talked with Herr Edgeworth for a little bit, and before he knew it, Apollo was telling him that he was ready to go home.
For the first time, Klavier felt free. His world no longer revolved around one thing. Those seductive tones to fall back were still there, but they were a little more muted. He was getting better, and it was nice.
"Thank you," Apollo finally said as they reached the car.
"I should be the one saying that you," Klavier admitted as he kissed him. Things were finally changing for the better, and for once, he wasn't scared of the unpredictability of it all.
A/N: This is a bit of stress writing and expression. I really like Klavier and Apollo relationship, and I adore Klavier's obvious faults because a lot of them are my own. I was both in Klavier's and Apollo position recently, and I guess this is just kind of me trying to get something out of my system. Thank you for reading.