I Wish That Was Me Chapter 1: Confessions, a glee fanfic

"Blaine, I'm in love with you," Kurt squeaked, eyes closed and holding his breath. This is it. The moment I've been waiting for since I saw him when I first came to Dalton…

"Kurt…" Blaine stared at him sympathetically. How can I set him down easy?

"Hey, guys!" Jeff interrupted, throwing both arms around Kurt and Blaine's shoulders.

Blaine smiled wide, but Kurt accidentally let out an annoyed groan. Lucky for him, the upcoming Warbler practice wouldn't be so troubling because technically his heart had not been broken by Blaine yet. The only response Kurt received was a sorrowful stare and a 'Kurt.' That could mean anything in the world, I mean, it could've meant that Blaine was just being his usual playing self and was tricking Kurt and would have come out with 'I know, me too.'

"Something wrong, Kurtsie Wurtsie?" Jeff amusedly asked.

"No," Kurt said without changing his facial expression.

Blaine was silent. There was no way he was about to tell Jeff what had just happened…he may not like Kurt in that way, but Kurt was still his best friend and he wouldn't do that to him.

"Well I know how to cheer you up! In Warbler practice we're working on love songs and we're going to draw names from a hat and you'll have to sing it to that person!" Jeff said with excitement covering his voice.

"Sounds amazing…" Kurt nearly whispered and walked away, a tear escaping his eye at just the right moment so Blaine could see.

Kurt was the first person to arrive at Warbler practice. Not even Wes or David were there yet, and Kurt took advantage of his current alone time. I should have known Blaine would've turned me down…I know he did because if he didn't he would have asked why I was crying. I KNOW he saw me crying, I can see fairly well from the corner of my eye. I just…please oh please don't let Blaine and I have to sing to each other. If we do, I'd probably just wind up bawling all over the floor.

"Kurt!" Wes yelled in surprise. Kurt jumped and stood up. He smiled huge when he saw Wes so happy to see him, for some reason.

"Good afternoon, Wes, why are you so peppy?"

"Why are you so early?"

"Nothing better to do, of course!"

"Kurt, I've been thinking, and I want you to have a solo in sectionals this year."

Kurt's jaw dropped and he started jumping up and down like an impatient child. Of course, at that moment, Blaine decided to walk in with Jeff.

"Eat an extra spoon full of sugar today, Kurt?" Blaine asked laughing.

Kurt, not wanting to even look at Blaine right now because he'd just start crying, ignored his comment. "Oh my gosh, thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I could never tell you in words how much this means to me!"

"Whoa, Kurt, I know you're hyper and all on a daily basis, but what the heck is with you today?" David called out as he walked to his desk.

"I agree," Jeff breathed, looking around the room as he spoke. Just like Brittany and Santana used to, Kurt thought.

"Is my joy not accepted?" Kurt smiled and sat down cross-legged.

"Not when it's been over the top excitement since exactly 7:22 AM," Wes added, going to his desk too.

"Correction, 7:21," Blaine winked.

Kurt looked at him as a result of his natural reflexes to face sounds and his smile was immediately wiped away to a barely noticeable gasp and he just fixed his already perfect shirt.

After that, the rest of the Warblers began to pile in, as they heard the conversation about Kurt's hyper-ness from all the way across the hall, and they were teasing him just as Wes, David, Jeff, and Blaine had.

"Good morning Warblers," Wes started, fiddling with his gavel.

"Good morning, Wavel," The Warblers simultaneously responded causing Wes to blush; throw his gavel on the desk, and everyone to burst into laughter.

"You all received the e-mail explaining what we're going to try today, and hopefully all of you read it," Wes said, staring at Nick who had a guilty and worried expression on his face. "So let's pick the first names to go!"

Kurt, despite his atheism, prayed a little bit that he and Blaine would not be paired together. Kurt's heart was hanging on a single string, ready to be yanked out at any moment. Any moment Blaine could just reject Kurt and make him feel worse than he already does. Any moment Blaine could tell Kurt he never wants to see him again because he can't shake the fact that Kurt loves him. Any moment…Blaine could just ignore Kurt, and that would be worse than rejection. Even though Kurt loved Blaine, they were still best friends and it's too much of a risk to lose someone that close to you.

"The results are in!" Wes smiled. "Kurt and Blaine, you're up first."

Blaine stood up in front of Kurt. "Would you like to go first, kind sir?"

Kurt froze. This can't be happening. This can't be happening. This can't be happening. "Um, Wes? Love songs, really? What if we don't feel so strongly about the other person?"

"Fake it, Kurt," Wes said quite annoyed as he sighed and continued fiddling with his gavel.

"O-okay…" Kurt said nervously, standing up.

Blaine sat down on the couch, cross-legged as if to mimic Kurt. A few of the Warblers chucked but Kurt…Kurt was just freaking out. He really didn't want to confess to Blaine the song that was stirring in his head whenever Blaine talked to him. But, he guessed he had to.

Kurt began to sing and Blaine just sat, not showing if he was enjoying the song or resenting the fact that he came to Warbler practice today.

Sometimes I wonder
How I'd ever make it through,
Through this world without having you
I just wouldn't have a clue

'Cause sometimes it seems
Like this world's closing in on me,
And there's no way of breaking free
And then I see you reach for me

Sometimes I wanna give up
I wanna give in,
I wanna quit the fight
And then I see you, baby
And everything's alright,
everything's alright

When I see you smile
I can face the world, oh oh,
you know I can do anything
When I see you smile
I see a ray of light, oh oh,
I see it shining right through the rain
When I see you smile
Oh yeah, baby when I see you smile at me

Baby there's nothing in this world
that could ever do
What a touch of your hand can do
It's like nothing that I ever knew

And when the rain is falling
I don't feel it,
'cause you're here with me now
And one look at you baby
Is all I'll ever need,
you're all I'll ever need

Sometimes I wanna give up
I wanna give in,
I wanna quit the fight
And then I see you baby
And everything's alright,
everything's alright

So right...

Kurt ended, staring at everyone frantically as if not knowing what to do. He resisted the urge to look at Blaine and see what he thought of it. Sadly, Blaine was the first to start clapping and he had to look at him to be polite.

"That was amazing, Kurt," Blaine said placing a hand on his shoulder. Kurt slumped just a little at the action, so Blaine pulled away. I know he didn't fake that one…I just really wish he had…

"Okay, Blaine, your turn," Kurt said cross-legged in his seat.

Without pondering what song to sing to Kurt, Blaine sang the perfect one and he stared Kurt right in the eye the entire time he was singing it. He often noticed how Kurt looked away when their eyes met, and he knew better than to pry and make him look at him.

Girl, I know this might seem strange
But let me know if I am out of order
For stepping to you this way
See I've been watching you for a while

And I just gotta let you know
That I'm really feeling your style
'Cause I had to know your name
And leave you with my number

And I hope that you would call me someday
If you want to you can give me yours too
And if you don't well I ain't mad at you
We can still be cool 'cause

I'm not tryin' to pressure you
Just can't stop thinkin' 'bout you
You ain't even really gotta be my girlfriend
I just wanna know your name and maybe some time
We can hook up, hang out, just chill

Damn, I'm surprised that you called
'Cause the way you walked away
I thought I wasn't gon' see you no more
Since you didn't wanna give me your math

I thought that you were iggin' me
And wasn't diggin' me
But anyway what you doin' tonight
I'll probably be with my peeps
If its cool with you maybe we will swing by

And you can just chill with us
Or maybe you can just chill with me
As long as you're comfortable
[ From: .]
And you feel secure when you're with me cause

I'm not tryin' to pressure you
Just can't stop thinkin' bout you
You ain't even really gotta be my girlfriend
I just wanna know your name and maybe some time
we can hook up, hang out, just chill

Oh, oh, baby yeah maybe we can oh
Go see a movie girl
Maybe we can hang out girl
Whatever you wanna do
Just let me know it's up to you

Just chill and keep it real
I ain't out to get nothin' from you, oh no
We can just talk about you girl, oh yeah
I'm just there for you anytime you need me to

Blaine stopped and everyone clapped except Kurt, who eventually clapped exactly twice slowly because Blaine was sitting right next to Kurt, practically sitting on Kurt.

"I have a test to study for tomorrow, may I be excused?" Kurt asked, his eyes begging Wes as he nonchalantly gestured for Blaine sitting awkwardly by him.

"Sure thing, Kurt," Wes nodded.

Kurt stood up fast, no one seemed to be alarmed by his sudden movements to escape except Blaine. Kurt's heart was pounding because despite that love song Blaine just sang, Kurt knew it was all a lie. Everything was all a lie. Kurt's brain was lying when he convinced himself that Blaine felt the same way. Blaine lied when he didn't say 'I don't like you back' he just said 'Kurt' and didn't continue the conversation later (which Kurt was somewhat thankful for, this way he still had that golden 1% of hope in his heart.) He just wished there was some way to escape everything that had happened. Escape getting in that fight with the boys and going to spy on The Warblers. Escape stopping Blaine on the staircase. Escape replying to Blaine's constant texts and phone calls. Escape Nick and Jeff begging for Blaine to bring Kurt with him on trips during the breaks and weekends and summers. Escape everything that reminded Kurt that he was alone and if no one had ever loved him at this point, no one ever would.

Kurt ran up to his shared dorm (shared with Jeff) and plopped on his bed, tears filling his cheeks and he just let the pillows take over him. He was unable to move, unable to breathe, unable to believe. He had no hope. There was no way he was going to be able to walk those halls with pride tomorrow, knowing Blaine would be watching. I have to try… Kurt thought.

A rather soft knock tapped on his door.

"Kurt?" Blaine called out.

A/N: New story! :) Don't worry, i'm still going to update my other ones i just have an urge to write a story and i can't write anything else until i fulfill that urge! XD

PLEASE REVIEW WHAT YOU THOUGHT! :)

It's definitely going to get more drama-ful, this was just the start.