Black Widow: Mewling quim…
Iron Man: Six…
Hawkeye: Arrow…
Hulk: Hulk smash…
Thor: Midgard…
Captain America: Mischief…
Nicky Fury: And now, the six amazing Avengers of the SHIELD jail in their rendition of the Cell Block Tango.
Black Widow: Mewling quim!
Iron Man: Six!
Hawkeye: Arrow!
Hulk: Hulk smash!
Thor: Midgard!
Captain America: Mischief!
All Avengers: He had it comin, he had it comin, he only had himself to blame! If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it…
Thor: I betcha you would have done the same!
Black Widow: You know how people have these little habits that get you down? Like… Loki. Loki liked to call me his girl. No, not his girl… his mewling quim. So I came home from a mission this one day and I'm really irritated and I'm looking for a little bit of sympathy and there's Loki sitting in his chair smirking at me and calling me his girl. No, not his girl… his mewling quim! So I said to him I said, "You call me your mewling quim one more time…" And he did. So I took a shotgun out of my pocket and I fired two warning shots… into his head!
All Avengers: He had it comin, he had it comin, he only had himself to blame! If you'd have been there, if you'd have heard it, I betcha you would have done the same!
Iron Man: I met Loki of Asgard at a conference meeting about two years ago. He told me he was single and we hooked up right away. So we started living together. He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd fix him a drink, we'd have dinner… and then I found out… single he told me? Single my ass! Not only was he dating me, oh, no. He had six boyfriends. One of those Mormons, you know. So that night when he came home from work, I fixed him his drink as usual… You know, some Norse gods just can't hold their arsenic!
All Avengers: He had it comin, he had it comin, he took a flower in its prime! And then he used it, and he abused it! It was a murder but not a crime!
Hawkeye: Now, I was in the training room shooting a few bullseyes, minding my own business and in storms my boyfriend Loki in a jealous rage. "You've been screwing Coulson," he says. He was crazy! And he kept on screaming, "You've been screwing Coulson!" And then he ran into my arrow… he ran into my arrow ten times.
All Avengers: If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it, I betcha you would have done the same!
Hulk: What Hulk doing here? Banner been dating Puny God for many months. Banner was happy but Puny God just kept abusing him verbally and physically. One day, Banner just snapped and turned into Hulk and now Hulk locked up here.
Maria Hill: Yeah, but did you do it?
Hulk: Uh-uh! HULK NOT GUILTY!
Thor: My brother Loki and I had this double act and my girlfriend Jane travelled around with us. Now in the last number of our act, we had at least twenty different acrobatic tricks in a row. One, two, three, four, five, splits, spread mortals, back flips, flip flops, one right after the other. So this one night before the big show, we settled down in a nice Midgard hotel. The three of us boozing, having a few laughs, and we ran out of shawarma so I go out to get some. I come back, open the door and there's Loki and Jane doing number seventeen: The Spread Mortal! Well… I was such a state of shock. I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later… when I washing the blood off of Mjolnir, I even knew they were dead! They had it comin, they had it comin, they had it comin all along! I didn't do it! But if I'd done it, how could you tell me that I was wrong?
Captain America: I loved Loki the God of Mischief more than I could possibly say. He was a real interesting guy. Sensitive, a Norse god. But he was always trying to find himself. He'd go out every night looking for himself and on the way, he found Volstagg, Fandral, Hogun and Sif. I guess you can say we broke up because of our imagery differences. He saw himself as the new ruler of Asgard… and I saw him dead!
All Avengers: The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum! The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum! He had it comin, he had it comin, he had it comin all along! Cause if he used us, and he abused us, how could you tell us that we were wrong? He had it comin, he had it comin, he only had himself to blame! If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it, I betcha you would have done the same!
Black Widow: You call me your mewling quim one more time…
Iron Man: Single my ass…
Hawkeye: Ten times…
Hulk: Hulk not guilty…
Thor: Number seventeen: The Spread Mortal…
Captain America: Imagery differences…
Black Widow: Mewling quim…
Iron Man: Six…
Hawkeye: Arrow…
Hulk: Hulk smash…
Thor: Midgard…
Captain America: Mischief…
The jail door slams loudly leaving the Avengers in the dark as they stood in their cells…
THE END!
Please review if u enjoyed this parody cause I enjoyed writing it! I was inspired to write this after watching a Youtube parody of the Avengers with the Cell Block Tango just for a fun fact! XD