A/N: Yes, I know- there are enough 'Edward doesn't come back' stories- but I don't expect many people to read this anyway. It's just a one-shot that wouldn't go away until I wrote it, leaving me unable to work on Shadow Rising. So, please enjoy:
Okay
It had been nearly four years since Edward had left, nearly four years since I had gotten a hole torn into my heart.
Over three years since I had left Forks behind.
I knew that Charlie had expected me to stay and start something with Jake. After I had discovered he was a werewolf, I think Jake expected me to start something with him.
Hell, I had expected me to start something with him.
Then, one day I woke up and realized that the only way I could get over Edward was if I left Forks behind and started over fresh. So, I said my good-byes, and the next day I was in my truck heading no where in particular.
I just wanted to get away.
I saw America in the year I spent on the road. I got odd jobs at the various places I stopped at; I even went on a few dates. Slowly the hole began to heal. It didn't disappear, but it stopped hurting when I breathed. I could even think about Edward, and remember the good times we had had fondly.
I wasn't whole- but I was no longer broken.
I was now twenty-two, attending NYU for my degree in medicine, and working nights at a club as a bartender.
It wasn't the best job, but the tips were good.
I was clearing off some tables when I suddenly found myself in someone's arms on the dance floor. I looked up to give whatever freak it was that had grabbed me a piece of my mind, but my voice got stuck in my throat.
I had never expected to see Edward Cullen again, yet here I was dancing with him.
"It's been a while," he said. I didn't reply, I just stared up at him.
He continued to speak.
"You haven't changed much," he said. "You're still as beautiful as ever."
"You haven't changed at all," I replied, managing to gain control of my tongue.
"No, I suppose I haven't," he agreed sardonically. "I never had you pegged as the type to work in a club."
"Maybe you didn't know me as well as you thought you did," I shot back. "What are you doing here Edward?"
"Dancing obviously," his topaz eyes gazed into mine, and I could see a longing there that I knew was probably reflected in my own eyes. "I went back to Forks- about six months after you left, according to Charlie."
"So?" I asked.
"I missed you," he told me. "I still miss you."
"It's been four years, Edward," I told him. "Missing me isn't enough."
"I love you," he told me, his voice so soft I nearly missed it.
"And I love you. But sometimes love isn't enough. Good-bye Edward."
The song ended, and I left him on the dance floor to finish clearing off the tables.
I expected the hole to open up again.
It didn't.
The next day I saw Alice again on the University campus.
She was waiting for me.
"Hey Bella," she said with a smile. I returned it, but my whole heart wasn't in it. I knew why she was there.
"He broke me Alice," I told her. "And it took me a long time to put the pieces back together."
"He regrets it- and he loves you."
"Sometimes love just isn't enough," I replied, repeating the words I had said to Edward.
"Sometimes it is," she replied.
"Not this time. I told him good-bye… and I think I'm okay with that."
"So you'll throw everything you have together away?"
"Had- everything we had. And he already did that. I waited for a year Alice, before I left Forks. If he had come for me- I would have welcomed him with open arms. Not anymore. I've grown, matured- and the hole is finally beginning to heal. In a couple more years, I'll probably be married, maybe even have children."
"A year isn't that long," Alice replied.
"It is for a human. Good-bye, Alice."
That summer, I met a man- a law student. He didn't make my heart sing like Edward had, but he made me laugh, and he accepted that I could never give him my whole heart. We were married eighteen months later, and I gave birth to a little boy another year after that.
I never saw the Cullens' again. They disappeared from my life as quickly as they had reappeared.
I'm not going to lie- there were days I wondered 'what-if?' What if I had taken Edward back? What if…
Then I look at my children and I realize that I'm happy I didn't.
And I'm okay with that.