Beca lay there in the darkness staring up at the ceiling. There was a faint blue glow coming from her alarm clock. She looked to her left and the two hands of the clock were pointing straight at the twelve. Sighing loudly, she rolled over and continued her quest for sleep.
It felt like there was a hole in her chest. A lonely, achy feeling that she was starting to feel even during her waking hours. It had started a couple of months ago, and seemed to open just a little bit more with each passing day. She didn't know why she was feeling this way and she definitely didn't know what to do about it.
She hugged her childhood comfort pillow and gave in to the tears. She didn't know why she was crying, but now that she had started, she couldn't seem to stop. Giving in to them, she cried and cried, and soaked the well-worn pillow she cradled in her arms.
Her body was wracked with tears and her sinuses betrayed her, making noises she was trying to avoid. She huffed and ugly cried until she didn't think she had any moisture left in her.
She was starting to drift off to sleep, tears still fighting their way out of her eyes, when she heard a soft pitter patter in the hallway. She tensed up, not wanting to be heard, until it passed by her door. She relaxed again, and then heard the tap tap of a knuckle on wood.
"Beca?" She saw a stream of light as the door cracked open. She closed her eyes, pretending to be asleep.
"You ok Beca?"
Chloe stepped into the room, closing the door behind her. She gracefully made her way over to the brunette. Chloe could only see hair and blankets, but that didn't seem to phase the redhead. The brunette was closed up in a ball clutching a pillow that was usually kept in the top of her closet. Chloe had seen it a few times, but had never asked about it. Something had to be wrong, but the brunette was not responding. Knowing her aversion to talking about problems, the red head decided to take a seat next to the upset girl, and wait this out.
Beca felt the small bed dip a little at the weight of the other girl and wracked her brain for what to do. She couldn't always explain or understand her feelings, and this evening was as confusing as ever. But, still, she was actually starting to feel calmer and less alone at having the redhead in the room with her. She felt a hand be placed ever so lightly on her shoulder blades and heard herself let out a sigh of relief.
"What can I do?" Beca sighed again, and spoke without knowing what she would say.
"Stay," she heard in her own voice.
Instead of a verbal response from the redhead, she felt the bed shift and her whole body could feel the warmth of another person lying next to her. Her heart felt lighter. She was starting to feel more complete. It was quickly becoming evident that simply being next to Chloe was just not going to be enough. She wanted physical contact. Beca worked up the nerve, and turned to face the girl sharing her bed, leaving her tear soaked pillow between the wall and mattress.
She could feel Chloe looking at her, but wouldn't look into the blue orbs that would surely be her undoing, and instead wrapped her arm around the girl's waist and nuzzled her face into the cloth of Chloe's shirt. Chloe put two hands on Beca's head and pulled her closer, so she could kiss her forehead. The redhead rolled over, taking on the role of the 'little spoon', hoping that maybe Beca would talk in the morning.
In a near sleep state, Beca's hand pushed up the redhead's shirt just enough to feel the soft and silky skin underneath. It made her feel happy. It gave her hope. Here was another person, a real flesh and blood person who was willing to do anything for her. This girl in her arms didn't mind being touched, and didn't mind touching. There was respect and mutual love.
In that moment, Beca knew she wasn't alone. She wondered how she had felt such a deep loneliness before. With that thought, she was finally able to submit to the sandman and dream happy thoughts of unicorns and sky-blue eyes.