A/N: Hello! Cup-Noodles, here. I originally wrote this story as part of my other story, Behind the Mask. However, I really like the concept of Mikasa addressing her nightmares. I then realized that "Nightmares" from Behind the Mask could be a story on its own. So, I rewrote "Nightmares" to be a one-shot. Hope you guys enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please let me know how you like it. If you want more, please comment and check out my other stories.
Nightmares
Mikasa lay awake on the HQ roof top. No one else was there. She had head nightmares before but this particular dream was different. It started after the titans attacked Trost. She had been assigned to help with evacuation. She had said she would protect Eren but in her current position, she couldn't. When she had been reunited with other people form the 104th, it was too late. They said that Eren was dead. A black coldness had entered her heart then. An emptiness filled her but she told herself that she would not give up. She would not let his death before nothing. Although she fought the titans, she had become reckless. She didn't care whether she lived of died.
She later found out that Eren was, in fact, still alive. But that cold emptiness had never fully left her.
On the cold roof top, she could think and reflect on the events that had taken place in the last few weeks. She didn't want to go to sleep, the dream would haunt her again. It was the same dream over and over again. However, the weariness of the day's activities called her into sleep. The nightmares followed, not far behind.
She was standing on a roof top on one of Trost's houses. The Colossal Titan had just broken through the wall and titans were streaming into the city. People were dying all around her. She started to run, her arms pumping, her legs moving rhythmically. She jumped off of the roof, arching her back, she pulled the 3DMG trigger. She braced herself for the force that would pull her forward. But the pull of her gear didn't come. She fell through the air. She pulled the trigger again and again but no metal wires shot out. She crashed against the ground. She unsheathed her blades but they fell off, broken and dull. The titans were closing in.
One by one her comrades fell. Krista was on the ground blood splattered across her face. A few feet away, Ymir's half eaten body was splayed. She ran into a plaza, there was a bearded titan standing there. It was watching her. He reached down to grab her. Armin saw her and shot at the titan. He aimed for the nape of the neck but at the last minute the titan rotated and grabbed him. She screamed but it was too late. The titan had Armin in his hands. Armin tried to free himself but his blades just broke off. The titan closed his fist. Armin was gone.
Marco-dead, Thomas-dead, Hannah-dead, Franz-dead
Eren flew across the roof tops. Tears were streaming down his cheeks. He struck at the titan but his cut was too shallow, no matter how many times he hit the nape of the neck, the titan would not die. Abnormal titans started to swarm around him. They tore him apart. This time, Eren did not turn into a titan. His body, or at least parts of it, fell to the ground. His face was still intact, but blood covered his cheeks, his eyes still open.
Sasha-dead, Connie-dead, Nac-dead, Mina-dead
Mikasa ran forward, cradling his body. She wept over him. All her training was for nothing. She had accomplished nothing. She was still the scared little girl who lived in a cabin in the woods. When it came down to it, she could do nothing to save him.
There was a titan that was moving toward her. Mikasa looked at its face. It was the same titan that had eaten Eren's mother. She reached down and grabbed Mikasa. Mikasa went limp. She froze and let the titan close its massive fingers around her. The fingers closed tighter and tighter.
She could feel the pressure on her arms. She surrender to its grasp. It was shaking her back and forth. It started and ended the same way every time. When everyone else was dead, she would die too. She suddenly awoke. It was Levi. He was shaking her by the shoulders.
"You were screaming." Said Levi in a matter of fact way.
She looked at him confused, she realized that she was still on the roof top. How long had Levi been there? She wondered. The sun was raising and the sky was on fire with the glorious color of dawn.
"It was a while before I stopped having nightmares," said Levi, he was staring into the distance, his eyes cool and reflective
"How did you overcome them?" she asked
"I accepted the fact that I had done everything I could possibly do to save them. I'm human. I can't save everyone. I couldn't have known what would happen….you can't blame yourself for what happened. You also can't keep dreading what will happen. When you let fear control you, the titans have already won."
"Thank you." She said, it came out as a whisper. Levi placed his hand on hers. His hand was warm. He looked almost kind. "Don't be afraid." His voice was soft and gentle. That was a voice he rarely used and that made it all the more special. It was like time had stopped. It was just the two of them, the sun, and the open sky.
That night, Mikasa had the same dream. Eren was lying dead in her arms. But this time, when the titan reached down to get her, she ran. She unstrapped her maneuver gear and ran for her life. She saw Jean's body. She felt the pain of his death but she needed to survive. She inspected his equipment. His maneuver gears was still intact. She strapped herself in and shot the mettle cables. She swung around in a big arc, her blades unsheathed. She would survive.
Mikasa was all alone. Everyone she cared for was dead. She felt the great pain of their death but she knew she would continue on…
She woke up and chose to live.
She never had that dream again.
A/N: Please Let me know what you think! :D