When we first met, if I'd have known how much emotional damage and instability you'd cause me, I'd have lived every moment even more. Because, do you know what? I've loved every second of it. I wouldn't change one bit. I even loved the time we met Moriarty. Do you know why? Because you were there. And even if we'd died, at least I would have died with you.
But now you're gone, and I'm still here. It reminds me of the day we moved in together. You were going to kill yourself, but I saved you. This time, I couldn't.
I'll always believe in you, no matter what. Because those sulks, those deductions and those times we shared, they were real, and I'll do anything to have them back. I'll even put up with those eccentricities, those experiments, even those gunshots in the wall.
I wish I'd lived in the moment more. I'd never think that you could slip through my hands so quickly, and now that you're gone, it's all I think about. If only we could have shared the life a little longer, even if it was under lock and key.
But I know that will never happen, because you're gone. You've been wiped off the face of the Earth, and now you're six feet under. But what I hate the most is that the world remembers you as a fake, and a fraud, and not the magnificent detective you really were.
If I could, I'd switch places with you. Because I wanted the last thing I saw to be you, but now that can't happen. And because I'm nothing, compared to you, the great Sherlock Holmes, world-famous consulting detective. I'm just an ex-army doctor, with nothing worth living for. Nothing except you.
So as soon as I've finished writing this, I'm going to go to St Bart's. I'm going to go to the roof, and I'm going to end this. I can't go on with all this misery in my life, a broken soldier living in a hotel room. But at least we'll be together again.
Author's Note: Thanks to Deerstalker221B and iamsolucylike for beta'ing this for me!