A Love to Die for
There was… Nothing. That was the first thing he became aware of. Nothing. There was no pain from the countless hits he'd taken. No sound of battle cries and the clash of weapons. No smell of sweat and blood and fear.
Just… Nothing.
And then Shifu opened his eyes. His vision was hazy, but he knew immediately that he wasn't in a familiar place. He tensed and tried to get to his feet. Keyword: tried. Shifu's body was sluggish and forcing himself to get up made his already fuzzy vision even worse.
"Ugh… Where am I?" Shifu asked aloud.
It felt like his mouth had been stuffed with cotton. After blinking a few times, his eyes finally cleared, turning the blur of colors into a landscape.
It took his breath away. Shifu was surrounded by what looked to be water that stretched on forever, with only small islands dotting it. The island he was on was shaded by a peach tree with twisting branches and delicate blossoms. And there, way out in the distance was the vague impression of mountains.
What really caught his attention though, was the color.
Everything was gold washed.
"Why, you are here, of course." A cheerful voice from behind him said.
Shifu's ears pricked up at the sound of a newcomer and he spun around.
"That doesn't even-" He froze when he saw the speaker, eyes going impossibly wide.
"Master Oogway!"
"Shifu." The old tortoise greeted with an indulgent smile.
There was silence for a long time, made all the more obvious by the stillness of their environment. Eventually Shifu found his voice, though his thoughts were not so quick to follow.
"Master, I- but you're- and I- we were-"
The red panda's frantic stuttering was brought to a halt by a weathered hand coming to rest on his shoulder.
"I'm… Am I dead?" Shifu asked.
His voice was low and his eyes were distant and restless with confusion.
This was met with a chuckle. "Only mostly dead."
Shifu blinked, ears drooping. Oogway watched his friend for a moment, giving his shoulder a squeeze.
"Do you remember what happened, Shifu? What you did?" he asked, lowering his head to bring the two of them closer. Despite his original good cheer, Oogway was concerned. He knew this was hard for his friend, made all the more so by the manner in which he came here.
"I… Yes. I remember. We had been sent on a mission, but we were ambushed when we arrived. I suspect that entire assignment was a trap." Shifu said with distain.
"We were fighting and- Po! Po was… He…"
Shifu turned and scrambled onto one of the raised roots of the tree to scan the other islands for inhabitants. His eyes flitted over every little rise of land from the water, afraid to see any stray movement.
"The Dragon Warrior lives," Oogway called up to him, leisurely making his way back to the base of the tree.
"As do the rest of your students and the villagers. All this from one sacrifice."
"I died for all of them."
Shifu seemed to wilt. With a sigh, his shoulders fell and he turned his gaze to the ridge where land suddenly dropped away. Some of the ground was only held in place by an unrelenting root. The water was almost completely still, barely a ripple to distort the surface.
"Yes," Oogway confirmed. "It is a great and terrible thing, to give one's life for another. There is no greater symbol of love."
The old tortoise smiled then, at the chance to turn away from talk of unhappy death and the sight of his friend in such a morose state.
"And if I'm not wrong, you've grown very close to the Dragon Warrior."
He watched in amusement as Shifu jolted to attention and whipped around to face him with a mortified expression.
"Master Oogway-"
"Hush." Oogway said, though not unkindly. He raised a claw to silence what he was sure would be a torrent of denials before they came.
"There is no fault in love, my friend." Oogway lowered his hand, placing in back on Shifu's shoulder to settle him.
With a longsuffering sigh Shifu dropped his head into his hands.
"I'm too old for this." He despaired. The calm of the realm felt almost oppressive to him now, as though it were mocking him for his inner turmoil. A few blossoms from the tree drifted down from their branches and settled on his head, making his ears twitch. Shifu wanted to grab them and crumple them up his fists. But again, his master seemed to take all of this in stride, as he did with everything else, as only an Enlightened One could.
"No. No one is too old for love." Oogway sounded so sure. It almost made Shifu want to hope.
Almost.
"But Master, what if it ends badly? What if such feelings are temporary? What if something goes wrong?"
Shifu turned to look up at his master. Then he realized that none of that would matter anymore. It already had gone wrong. Nothing could happen between the living and the dead.
"What if, what if, what if? You are too concerned with the possibilities. They cloud your mind and keep you from acting. You will continue to wonder for an eternity if that is all you ever ask."
Shifu just turned his eyes back to the shifting expanse of blue-gold water with a frustrated huff. Again, he was tempted to grab something. He wanted to throw something heavy into the water just to ruin the overwhelming peace. He knew Oogway was trying to help him, pacify him, but Shifu didn't want to be pacified. He wanted to hit something, throw something, be angry and frustrated and upset.
Anything.
Everything felt so permanent and still, and while Shifu was sure it was supposed to inspire quiet contentment, it only made him feel helpless. Like he wanted to scream but the sound was stuck in his throat.
"Come with me, Shifu." The old master gave his friend a gentle nudge to move him before stepping out over the ledge. Much to Shifu's surprise, Oogway didn't fall, but rather drifted in the air, even rising a few inches.
"We have some time before they figure out how to call you back."
Not knowing what else to do, the red panda stepped forward just as his master had. He wobbled and churned the air with his legs to stay up, arms shooting out for balance. Though he had a few false starts, he managed to follow after Oogway.
"Call me back?" he asked faintly, unsure if he could keep his body steady let alone his voice.
"But Master, I'm dead. You even said so yourself."
Delighted at Shifu's attempts, Oogway offered his arm after a moment to assist his struggling companion.
"I said you were mostly dead, not all dead. There is a difference."
Oogway moved slowly, leading the red panda further and further from the island. Around them, gold tinted petals swirled in a phantom wind.
"There is?"
"There is."
For a time, they simply wandered in silence. Every so often they would pass a small island, some bare while others were decorated by a blossoming tree or two. The impression of mountains seemed to move with them- always too far away to reach.
Despite his desire to leave, Shifu could grudgingly admit that this was a beautiful place. It could have been a paradise if he actually wanted to be here. Hopefully if it was as Oogway said, he would not have to linger here for long.
Just as he was beginning to think his master would remain silent, Oogway drew him down into a small boat that was resting beside a spit of land and spoke.
"Now tell me, why are you so afraid to love?" Oogway asked as they cast off.
"Because love hurts." Shifu shot back aggressively, ears folding back against his head until they lay flat. He turned his head away, glaring at the water over the side of the boat.
"No, old friend, love is a tremendous gift."
Oogway bowed his head and gazed at his friend with sad eyes. Not pity, just sadness. There had been many things in the red panda's life that had tainted his view of love and hardened his heart.
"It is not supposed to hurt. Not when it is true.
What hurts is the absence of love; whatever form it may take. Abandonment, betrayal, death, distance." All things Shifu had experienced, some more painful to him than others.
"That is what hurts our hearts and makes us bitter."
Slowly, Shifu's ears rose forward again. He didn't look up, but the anger from before had faded from him.
"Then… how can I prevent that?" He asked haltingly. Oogway just chuckled and reached across to pat Shifu's hand.
"You cannot." The old tortoise said simply. Shifu looked up sharply at that and frowned.
He didn't understand.
"Some days, you will fight and want to be away from each other. Some days, you may be too busy to spend much time together. There may be a day when you must part ways. And, as you have demonstrated today, death eventually separates us all for a time. Such is the way of the world."
Gradually, the boat slowed at another island that was barely big enough to have visible ground under the roots of the tree that grew there. The two of them stepped out of the boat and went to recline under the dappled shade of the tree. Once they were settled, Oogway smiled and leaned down conspiratorially.
"Now let me tell you something. A little secret if you will."
Shifu regarded his master carefully, eyes wide, waiting to be bestowed with this precious knowledge. Like this, it was easy to forget that he was no longer the small child that had been left on the doorstep of the Jade Palace so long ago.
"The secret is… Just because someone is gone does not mean you stop loving them."
Straightening up, Oogway continued.
"Love is much like a child, Shifu. It takes hard work- often more than we feel we are capable of. But if you help it grow and support it through hard times, it flourishes and is beautiful."
It was by no means the answer that was wanted, but as Shifu opened his mouth to argue, something stopped him.
A true wind stirred, ruffling the water and carrying away an abundance of blossoms. Shifu swiveled his head, ears twitching to find the source of the anomaly.
From all around a quiet voice came, pleading and tired, into the golden realm.
"O soul, come back." It whispered, oh so familiar.
Oogway was pleasantly surprised at this. Of all the ways they could have used to call their own master back… It had been a very long time since he had heard those words spoken outside of legend. He had never been able to see this ritual from the Spirit Realm before.
"Ah, a soul binding. It seems the Dragon Warrior and your students have found a way."
Recognition donned on the red panda's face. He could hardly believe it.
"Po…" How could this be? He didn't think the Five or Po knew such a serious or permanent ritual. Not to mention the fact that it had been hundreds of years since the soul binding had been used. Shifu was so caught up in his bewildered musing that he didn't even notice that he had gotten to his feet. He wandered to the shoreline, amazed, while Oogway stood as well to see him off.
"Well then, I believe you have been missed, so I won't keep you any longer."
As if to emphasize Oogway's words, the wind picked up, stripping the tree to add to the blossoms that were already caught in the whirlwind.
"Master, I-" Shifu was cut off when the old tortoise raised a hand.
"There will be other times to speak. After all, we will meet again someday. It is not yet your time, and so you must return."
The petals eventually reduced Shifu's vision to a cocoon of living gold as a pathway swirled to existence in the water below.
He smiled when he felt himself fading. Shifu closed his eyes, burning the memory of his time in the Spirit Realm into his mind.
"Thank you, Master." He murmured.
He was going home.
He was going back to the ones he loved.
And to the one who loved him back.
Oogway watched as his friend was carried away, not unlike how he himself had left the mortal plane.
"I wish you a long and happy life, old friend. May you find the peace and the love you need to soothe your hurts."