A/N: I have a lot of feels and I just can right now.
You will always have that initial feeling inside of you, it never goes away no matter how hard you try to erase it. The scars you have tend to linger even when you think it has healed, it's like a ghost, it might be dead but is it really gone?
People might not see it but it's there haunting you in your darkest night. You do whatever's possible to erase that feeling but no matter how hard you try and make it go away it always comes back.
You might think yourself as a monster but other people think differently, they see you as a human. They can call you all the names they want but to you, you have no name you are just human. You repeat to yourself that the title that people give you is not what defines you, but sometimes it gets in your head.
When you look all around you people are staring, staring at you like you are a crazy person that has escaped from an asylum. The look they gave you is a mixture of disgust and fear and for a millisecond you might actually believe them.
Sometimes you wonder to yourself if what you did was actually worth it. All the pain that it caused you, the endless nightmares, waking up in a puddle of sweat just for that one moment. Then again if it happened you wouldn't do anything different. You did what you had to do no matter the consequence.
He tells you that he did far worse than what you did and that soon it will all be but a distant memory. When you wake up in tears he is there to wipe them and it does help a little but it still comes rushing back.
He says that he will be by your side no matter what happens, through the good and all the bad, bring you back into the light when it is dark, and chase away all the ghost that will haunt you. He knows what will happen he's been there before, experienced the same feelings you have. You ask him how he did it, how he he got through the constant battle raging in the inside. Will it ever stop? Will you ever feel normal again?
He tells you that eventually you will have to accept what you did, no the battle against yourself will never stop but sometimes you just have to win those battles and go into it stronger than the last, and you were never normal nobody is normal.
Day by day you are learning how to cope and move on. There are still some nights when you wake up in a puddle of sweat but he is always there to calm you down. He is always by your side never leaving you alone no matter how much it annoys you. He made a promise and he doesn't intend to break it.
In the future it does get easier to handle, the nightmares aren't as bad and for once you can actually live again.