I sit on a stair in the grand house that has been my home for two years now. My body is curled beneath me, and my head is inclined towards the floor, but I do not see it. Instead, I see Bella's future. And it is exactly the same as before. Edward is sitting on the piano stool before me with his head in his hands, but when he catches onto my train of thoughts, he lifts his head to snarl at me.
I smile smugly, and can't resist rubbing it in, just a little bit. Anything to convince him to stay.
It's still the same Edward. I think. Nothing has changed. She will be one of us. In my mind I conjure up the image of Bella's future- as a strong, beautiful vampire, with Edward at her side. She looks happy to be there. I smile.
I see Edward and Jasper both groan simultaneously, and Edward's facial expression contorts into one of despair. Jasper murmurs softly in my ear.
'Please, whatever you're thinking, stop it. It's killing him to feel so many conflicting emotions raging at once.'
I let it go, grudgingly, for the sake of my husband's mental health. I focus instead on my own future. I smile when I see that this will not be the last time we live in Forks. We will come back soon. When I look into Edward's future I see the reason for this. He will cave in. He will not last very long without her. Less than a year. A year means nothing when you will live for eternity.
'Don't.' The anguished plea comes from my brother. I try not to think about it- for Jasper's sake, but the vision becomes even clearer now that I am looking at him; concentrating on him. He will return. I see him running at supernatural speeds to Bella's house, climbing through her window to kiss her and beg for her forgiveness. She would forgive him of course.
I see the despair in my brother's face, and I know without having to look into the near future that he will spend all the time he is separated from Bella wallowing in this despair. I'm sorry. I think. I can't help what I see. You will return, eventually. No matter what you're planning now, this won't work.
My brother sighs deeply, and he walks out of the house, to brood in silence. I can't help but think this is bad for him. For someone so in tune to other people's thoughts, he makes bad decisions when left to his own thoughts. His most recent decision has proved that.
My husband sitting beside me rubs my back comfortingly and I instantly feel better. I know that it is his influence, and I feel slightly guilty for dwelling on my own opinions on leaving Forks and Bella, when Jasper is suffering guilt much worse than the rest of us right now, due to his behavior at Bella's party. I smile gratefully at him, and squeeze his hand reassuringly. No words are needed between us- he already knows how I feel and he can tell that I do not blame him one bit.
I don't want to leave Forks. Forks has been my home now for two short years, but so much has happened in that short time. The most important being the change in Edward. I love my brother, I really do- but I see the ways he has changed. Before Bella he was the odd man out without even realizing it. He was moody, tetchy and solitary even more so than he is now. Forks has changed my brother for the better, and leaving will destroy him. It will destroy the family dynamic when we leave. Edward won't stay with us for very long.
Can you hear me Edward? I think angrily. It won't work! You'll be miserable! You'll come back!
There is no response from outside, which must mean Edward is out of earshot now. I could look at Bella's immediate future, but Edward has forbidden me to do so.
Bella. I already see her as a sister. I've seen us as sisters so many times in my visions. She is already a part of our family, and I long for the day when she will be equal to us in every way possible. A true Cullen. When Edward won't have to constantly worry about hurting her and Jasper won't have to battle with his bloodlust. I've loved Bella for even longer than Edward, because I saw her coming, I saw how she would complete our family. How she would complete Edward. Bella, with her clumsy, warm nature, would be missed terribly by all of us. Even Rosalie would miss her presence slightly- anything to have Edward back to normal.
At least I have my visions to reassure me. We will come back for Bella. But my visions are so imprecise- what if something changes? What if something in Bella's future will determine what happens, but I don't see it until I am too late? Maybe it will be worth Edward's fury, just to see how Bella will cope without us.
I didn't say goodbye to her this evening. Not properly. I long to say goodbye now, and promise her we'll be back soon. For a fleeting instant, I see my own future- I am saying goodbye to Bella. She is confused, distressed and panicked. I decide against it. Maybe a clean break would be better after all. I want her to be happy, but if she behaves this way to me leaving her, what will Edward's goodbye do to her?
I tell myself I will not look. I really don't want to see Bella in such pain. I do not like my brother's plan, but I have accepted it. It is his future after all, not mine. Besides, I know we will come back.
I sigh and lean back against Jasper's shoulder. I'll miss her.
