"I so want that pendant," Theon said.
"Well don't tell the rogue that or he'll make sure it takes a lot of your share to get it."
"Fucking Frey," Theon muttered. "Why'd you think working with anyone from that family was a good-"
"Olyvar's all right. And, look, Elmar can be a bit of a jerk and greedy but he's generally a good man," Robb said.
"…You used Detect Evil on him?" Theon asked.
The paladin shrugged, "Well, you and my mother and a lot of other people tell me I'm bad about who I trust. Including people I shouldn't trust, sometimes…"
"I don't know what you're complaining about. That lecture from Jaime Lannister was hilarious. You know, outside his brother stealing the magic gem from the dragon's hoard while we were busy arguing with Jaime," Theon said. "Seriously, though, the rest of you barely use your dexterity for anything, rogue included. I use my bow every damn fight."
"And you're very good with it," Robb said, his hands brushing the bound tentacles hanging from Theon's scalp.
"Oi, Stark, you and the squid done flirting or what?" Joffrey called.
"On the other hand I'm pretty sure I got pure Evil from him," Robb whispered darkly before turning to face their fighter. "The proper term is kraken, as Theon's race is Krakenborn, Baratheon."
Theon grinned at the defense. Way too many people in the southern kingdoms had never seen another humanoid race beyond the standard Halflings, Elves, and sometimes Lizardfolk that remained from when the Targaryen Empire ruled. Nice to have someone beyond himself set them right.
"Whatever, we're splitting the loot, now get the hell over here,"Joff muttered.
Theon really didn't know why those two's fathers had thought they'd get along just because Robert and Ned had. He was pretty sure only Robb's commitment to being lawful and good was keeping him from striking Joff at times.
Theon had no such compunctions and rapped the little brat on the head. "We noticed. Get on with it already."
"Fine, fine," Elmar said. "Eddard, Olyvar, come on."
Elmar's brother and the Karstark named for Robb's father quickly came to the table.
"Finally," Edd said. "I need a lot of of this, my spell reagents need serious replenishing."
Theon rolled his eyes. If the idiot had listened to him about that monster having serious magic resistance…but no ignore the Ranger…
At least Olyvar was bearable, despite being a Frey. The whole family had a lot of Elf in the bloodline and yet they were still weasel-like, as if their Frey-ness overpowered any elven…stuff that made elves all graceful and shit. Except Olyvar, who was okay.
Theon grinned as Elmar put the plus-dexterity pendent in his pile, only to frown when it didn't increase beyond that.
"Elmar, I think you're forgetting someone," Olyvar told his brother.
"That pendant's worth a lot," Elmar replied.
"Yeah, but not to where it's my only share!" Theon complained. "Hell, that magic dagger you passed Joff's worth more and he's still getting gold!"
"It's actually a fairly common magic dagger," Elmar said.
"Like hell it is, you fucking cheat!" Theon snapped. "I want my fair share!"
"Oh, a squid complaining that they didn't get enough. What a shock," Elmar said.
Theon snarled, baring his two rows of sharp, shark-like teeth, "You racist son of a-"
"We're done," Robb said, standing.
Even Theon turned to look at him. Robb folded his arms. "Olyvar, sorry, but we're done here. Look us up if you're in the North." He pushed his share into his Bag of Holding. "Come on, Theon. Let's fine another inn."
Theon was silent as he took the pendent, his only prize, and was hauled out of the bar.
"Cannot believe we actually worked with those two as long as we have anyway," Robb said. "This is a decent-sized city, let's find another group that needs a Ranger and a front line fighter and go back North. You know, Arya and Bran shoulder be old enough to adventure, after we rest at home let's grab them, Jon, and Jon's girlfriend and make a new party. I know there's been trouble around Torrhen's Square recently, we could look into that and-"
"Stop babbling," Theon said. "And…thanks."
He liked to tell himself that it didn't matter that he hadn't seen another like himself since three ports ago—and that was six months' time—that he didn't care what anyone else thought but…
Well, sue him, he was a vain man. He liked attention, craved it, but when the attention turned bad…
Robb caught his hand, "Of course. Always."
As if it really was that easy…which for Robb it probably was. The paladin could be stunningly noble at times. Hell, he'd once stopped a duel when the other idiot dropped his sword because it wasn't fair.
So defending his lover wasn't exactly beyond the bounds of reason, even when people were shooting them weird looks as Robb pulled him down the road.
Mostly Theon. In fact the looks were exclusively for Theon except when they saw Robb holding his hand.
Great, now Theon didn't know if those ones were racists or homophobic. The south could get so touchy about stupid things. Or they were both, or people who weren't really racists but just got confused or overly-interested by cross-species relationships…
Or people who just really didn't like Krakenborn. Which was kind of an attitude everywhere.
Theon jerked as Robb switched from holding his hand to nearly hanging from his arm, "Damn, I can't choose. Theon, where do you want to stay?"
Theon pulled them both sideways so they weren't standing in the middle of the road. "Well…what do you have planned?"
"Well, trying to get drunk enough to forget people like Joff and Elmar exist would be nice."
"Not enough alcohol in the world," Theon replied. "Sorry. How about a nice meal and then some…dessert?"
"Work on those metaphors," Robb laughed. "For all I know you're talking about buying me chocolate."
Theon grimaced at the thought. "Humans like weird food."
"Says the man who sulks when he can't order warm-but-still-raw meat."
"I can eat cooked meat. It just doesn't taste that good." So much flavor got lost over a fire. Robb would agree if human stomachs could take eating raw meat better.
"Well, that place looks like they slaughter their cows fresh. You could tell them to just cut out a hunk of meat and you'll take it," Robb teased.
Oh that was tempting…but, "Not really in a beef mood. I'll take cooked if it's fish."
"You'll take almost anything if it's fish," Robb replied. "That place looks promising."
"The one with the mermaid—oh, look, they even rent rooms too. Good pick, Stark."
They rented the room first, wanting to get out of their armor before they tried to relax.
"I just am so sick of seeing you in this plate," Theon huffed, undoing tie after tie and buckle after buckle.
"It keeps me alive, doesn't it?" Robb asked. "I have proficiency with heavy armor, sue me."
"I think you work better with medium, myself, which you also have proficiency with," Theon replied. "You fight best when you have just the right balance of defense and movement. But as long as you're playing meat shield…which wasn't the best idea with that bunch anyway since you were also the most competent healer…"
"I know two healing spells. Two. Again, we need a party with an actual damn healer."
"Anything to watch you cut through more undead and demons and not have to worry about the idiot who took a scratch too many," Theon said as he slid the last of Robb's armor off and set it aside. "It's actually very attractive."
"You know, sometimes you're the idiot who takes a scratch too many," Robb scolded.
"Well of course I want you worrying about me," Theon leered as Robb started taking his leather armor off.
"Idiot," Robb huffed, dropping Theon's armor on top of his own. "Stow your weapons and finish getting ready to head down."
"…Finish what? I just need to stow my weapons," Theon said, opening the trunk and doing just that, though leaving a dagger in his tunic for emergencies. He sat on the bed and smirked.
Robb tapped his head. Theon frowned, "Yeah, still not sure what you…oh."
"Should let your hair down, as it were," Robb said.
"Come on, Robb, you know how people get," Theon said, brushing it off. "Remember that one idiot in the Riverlands who thought I was a gorgon?"
"And like you said, that man was stupid," Robb said, coming close. He smiled and reached over, slowly undoing the leather ties Theon used to keep his tentacles back and still.
Gods that felt good. Theon usually pulled them back because it fed into the human sense that the tentacles were just hair for Krakenborn. But they weren't hair, they were alive and needed to move like the rest of him.
They quickly did just that, most sluggish from being tied up for so long. He remembered once telling Robb it would be like binding one's hand into a fist for long periods and then needing to use one's fingers again. But some managed to do what he wanted right away, going for Robb's face and neck as the paladin sunk into his lap.
Robb laughed as a dozen tendrils started stroking his skin. "Someone missed doing this."
"You have no idea," Theon breathed as he felt that pretty, slightly sweaty human skin under his strokes.
Robb's fingers ran along his neck and Theon moaned at how Robb used his fingers to mimic the way his tentacles were running over Robb.
"You like that, sweetheart?" Robb asked, pressing himself closer.
Theon gasped as Robb's hands slipped back and up to bury into where the tentacles sprouted from his scalp as Robb leaned against him even more, diving in for a deep kiss as soon as Theon opened his mouth.
Theon quickly wrapped his longer tongue around Robb's, pulling it safely over his serrated teeth.
Robb had been the one to introduce him to kissing like this. It had been a little fraught with peril at first, since Robb kept getting his poor tongue sliced open all the damn time but they'd figured it out eventually. Theon had figured out that his own tongue was sturdier since it never got cut by his teeth and then coupled that with the fact that it was just over twice as long as Robb's, well, this worked now.
Theon reveled in how their breaths mingled as Robb pulled back for air. "Poor human, can't even do that for more than a minute…"
"Sue me, I need air more often than you," Robb laughed, running his hands along Theon's tentacles.
"Ooh that feels good…" Theon whispered. "Don't…don't stop that…"
"You should leave these loose more," Robb said, taking off his shirt with one hand while the other stayed right where Theon wanted it, only switching very briefly at the last second. "Not when you're shooting or anything, I can see how they can get in the way then but…when we're not doing anything."
"You know it unnerves other people," Theon said, lightly dragging his fingers through the curls on Robb's chest. "It's fine. If only you like it, I mean."
"Do you…I mean…do you miss Pyke?"
Theon almost laughed at how guilty Robb sounded.
Theon remembered when his uncle had first had him start visiting Winterfell. Rodrik Harlaw wasn't as isolationist as the other Krakenborn, mostly because if he was he would eventually run out of new books to read. He'd brought Theon along because, well, whenever Dagmer was busy no one else was doing anything with him and having someone else meant more books could be carried back to Harlaw.
And of course Robb had been instantly nice to him, every inch the future lord. And they'd become friends and as soon as Theon was old enough he'd relocated.
Sure, some part of him missed home, missed a land where his looks weren't so strange, even though he'd been ignored a lot and his brothers were picks and his sister had run off to be a pirate queen or something and his uncles, save Rodrik, scared the hell out of him…but these days he couldn't think of home without thinking of Winterfell in the North as well, of Arya Stark determined to braid his tentacles in his sleep one day, of Bran's blatant admiration for his affinity with animals as a Ranger…of him and Robb sneaking off to the river…
"Not as much as you seem to think I do."
"Good. I…I'm glad," Robb said, brushing some of those pretty red curls behind his ears.
One tendril—that often curled in on itself and had thus been ingloriously nicknamed 'that curly one' by the both of them—darted out and started wrapping around Robb's own curls.
"You know, I never asked what it feels like," Robb said softly. "Touching with those."
"It's not too different from touching with these," Theon said, running his hands down Robb's sides, fingering hard, lean muscles. "At least not to me. You might think it odd yourself, if you had them."
Not that he'd ever want that. He wouldn't trade those gorgeous, soft red curls for anything. Not even the odd ones on Robb's face that scratched when too short.
He smiled as Robb reached for his clothes. "In the mood, Stark?"
"It's been a while," Robb said, grinning as he quickly got Theon's tunic and shirt and undershirt off.
Theon smiled at the differences in their skin tones as Robb's hands started rubbing his chest. Like most humans, Robb's skin was rosy, though pale from his Northern blood and flecked with little brown spots here and there. They were called something…freckles? Theon was pale as well, though it was…sallow would probably be the way a human would describe it, due to the greenish tint his skin had from the sea. His tentacles were darker, of course, as were the various clan birthmarks on his skin.
"Theon?"
"Hmm?" he asked as Robb stopped. "What?"
"You looked a bit lost in thought."
"Oh, my apologies. I know I should only think of you, my lovely little wolf," Theon cooed, laughing as Robb seized the tentacles near his ears to haul in close. "Joking, joking Stark!"
"You'd better be."
"Oh, I only think of you in bed, Robb," Theon said seriously.
"Horny sea beast," Robb laughed.
"Only for you, darling," Theon laughed. "So, still want to get those drinks?"
"…I'd rather just be with you tonight, all the same," Robb replied, the sweet man. "Let's just order something sent up here…and occupy ourselves otherwise."
And there was no chance of Theon passing up an offer like that.
.o.o.o.
Robb woke up nearly cocooned in cool, dry flesh. Arms around his back, a leg hooked over his, long tentacles draped around his neck and shoulders…
Theon was dead to the world, if snoring a bit softly. His pale skin looked greener than usual in the dim light, the tentacles on his head and markings on his body more black.
Like Theon was often fascinated by his hair, Robb found the growths on his lover's head interesting beyond compare.
Like the way someone's hand might grab if you brushed it in their sleep, stroking the tendrils caused them to curl about his hand even as Theon slept on. They were cool to the touch like Theon himself often was, but not unpleasantly so. And Robb had grown to adore the way they felt when they moved over his skin.
He hoped they could have more moments like this when they went north. Moments when Theon was relaxed and fine in his own skin.
They had that at Winterfell, what with its mix of wargs, ice elves, bugbears, and a handful of others. One Krakenborn was barely worth any notice.
"You know, it really is too warm here," he said as Theon woke up. "I can't wait to get back to the cold."
"Cool air, cooler water…when do I sign up?" Theon asked, stretching.
"This morning, hopefully. If we find a party," Robb said. "At the very least we'll need a spellcaster, if not a cleric."
"You're a perfectly good healer," Theon said. "And there's not enough undead roaming about at the moment to need a cleric for anything else."
"Theon, stop simplifying other classes like that," Robb scolded. "How'd you like it if we used you for nothing but tracking?"
"I'd shoot whoever was fool enough to try and make me. Several times."
"There is that."
Theon seemed more interested with playing with his chest hair than the conversation, "Mm-hm."
"Come on, we should get ready. If we go for breakfast we might find some others looking for parties before they're snatched up."
Theon sulked but did as asked, grabbing his ties off the bedside table.
"You can leave them loose. It's just breakfast," Robb said.
"Thanks but…I think it's better to blend in. At least until we're north of the Neck."
"All right," Robb said, kissing him. "I don't think you need to but…all right."
He donned some clothes as Theon tied the tentacles up into what would be a ponytail on a human before adding two more ties to keep them still.
"Something wrong?" Theon asked.
"Was I staring?" Robb asked, blushing.
"…Well, who wouldn't?" Theon bragged.
Robb smiled. It was good to see he did feel confident about some of his looks at least. "I know. I'm lucky to not have to beat your admirers off with my sword."
Theon smiled softly as he started getting ready, "Let's eat and start looking, all right?"
Robb forced himself to hide his frown as Theon pulled his tentacles back up before leaving the room. They weren't going to be fighting today and it made no sense to…oh well. It just meant he could take them down again later.
.o.o.o.
"Sorry, we only need a front line fighter," the elf told Robb. "No ranger."
"Looks like you're going through some pretty rough terrain, are you sure?" Theon asked. "The Whispering Woods especially-"
"Sorry, but we're good," the elf said.
"Well, thanks anyway," Robb said, leading Theon back to the bar.
"Prick," Theon muttered.
"Sensed Motive, huh?" Robb asked sympathetically.
"He finds me…worrying," Theon said. "Northern whiskey on the rocks."
"Same," Robb added. "That jackass. Well, maybe there's no one smart looking for a party again today. We can try again tomorrow."
Theon smiled, taking Robb's hand under the bar. "Thanks."
"For what, standing by you? Of course," Robb said smiling.
Theon relaxed a little at how sure Robb sounded.
Maybe it was just the south getting to him, how he'd been feeling lately…
"Do you have any food?" Robb asked as their drinks were served.
"Nothing raw, I'm afraid," the bartender said, eyeing Theon.
"I can eat cooked," he said tightly.
"Oh, well good then," the bartender said. "Nothing personally, of course, we've just had some issues with the raw meat you see."
"Of course," Theon agreed, though he could feel the ends of his bound tentacles curling in annoyance anyway. "Catfish, please."
Robb ordered chicken and ran his thumb over Theon's knuckles.
"You all right?" he asked softly after the bartender had walked away.
"What? Of course, I'm fine," Theon said. "I don't think he meant anything by it."
Thank the gods for all his points in Bluff. He didn't need Robb getting defensive for him right now, not after today and the four previous days had been such a bust…because of him.
He knew most of those teams had been lying about not needing a ranger, or a bowman, or whatever else they used to try and exclude him while still trying to get Robb to join up. Robb might have caught on by the end of today but it had been happening every time.
"It'll be wonderful to see everyone again," Robb sighed. "I know Bran wanted to be a druid, so we could really use him in a new party, don't you think?"
"Sounds good," Theon said. "Think Arya will be using knives or a sword?"
"Oh, that's a hard one…gods I miss the cold," Robb said, smiling wistfully. "I can't wait to be home…"
Theon couldn't either. Home where he was at least somewhat normal…but that this rate they wouldn't get home.
Their food arrived and they both broke from the conversation to dig in.
The catfish was a bit dry and overcooked for his tastes, but he'd take it. It did go rather well with the whiskey…
"Theon, there any salt by you?" Robb asked.
"Here," Theon said, reaching to his left and grabbing some.
"Thanks, You know me, I like salty things," Robb said, winking at him.
"Stark, that's bad even for you," Theon laughed.
"Thought you'd like it anyway," Robb said, nudging him.
Theon smiled as he went back to his food, only for his tentacles to prickle slightly. Being an archer his Perception skills were pretty good, so someone must have been doing something.
He scanned the bar.
Some idiots glaring at him, nothing new…oh. Some others were looking at Robb all wrong, and gesturing…
Theon forced his gaze back to his fish. Robb wouldn't want to make a scene, after all.
"Theon? You okay?" Robb asked, leaning close.
"Just restless. Think I'll take a walk before bed," Theon said.
"You sure you don't want me to-"
"No, I'll be fine," Theon said. "Just need to stretch my legs, Robb. Really."
As usual, the bluff worked.
The parted ways as Robb went to go to bed, giving Theon a soft kiss before heading upstairs.
Theon could see how that got even more attention than their hand-holding had.
Gods he needed to clear his head.
The night air was too warm to really be called nice by his standards, but there weren't too many people on the streets at the moment so he could bear it.
It was bad enough when he got negative attention, but for Robb to get it too…and gods, Robb might have been good at being blind to scorn but he'd notice eventually…
He couldn't be the reason Robb was treated poorly. He wouldn't be able to take it.
No, no. It was just the south, he told himself. Things were better at home, in the North. It'd be fine as soon as they got home…
If they ever got home at this rate.
Gods, was he really that much of an imposition on a fucking team? And Robb wanted to head home so badly, too, and the main reason he wasn't on his way was because Theon just couldn't be a race people didn't associate with raids and blood and barbarism…
"Something wrong, little kraken?"
Theon paused, looked around, and then looked down.
An old kobold with a scarf on her—at least he thought it was a her, going by the voice—head smiled at him, "Well?"
"No. Nothing. Thank you anyway."
"Really now?" she asked. "Because your aura is so far out of sorts I'm amazed you're not looking for a bridge to jump from."
"I'm not suicidal, lady." And he wasn't. He didn't want to be dead he just kind of wished he was…like he was, right now.
"Well, that's wonderful. Can I interest you in a card reading? Only one silver," she said.
Well…this was one of the few people to be pleasant to him at first sight…
"Okay," he sighed, following her into a small tent.
"Now, let's see…ah!" she said, pulling out a deck of cards and handing it to him. "Shuffle, please. However you like."
Theon did so and handed them back.
"Let's see…ah, you're far from home. Pyke or elsewhere?" she asked.
"Winterfell," he said curtly.
"The heat must not agree with you. You look like you wish you could sweat like some of those warmer blooded beings," she said. "Personally I love the heat but that's just me. Feeling homesick?"
"A bit."
"You seem a little uncertain there, boy," she said teasingly. "Let's see, next card…ah. You're in love."
Theon felt himself blush, "I…so?"
"Nothing wrong with that, dear, love is wonderful," the woman said. "But you're…unsure about it as well, aren't you? Not about you loving them but them…perhaps losing their love of you?"
Theon started shaking, "Is he? I…I mean…"
"Well I'm not doing the reading for him now am I?" she asked smartly. "But you…you don't open your heart much, little kraken. If he did get in so deeply…I'd assume he loved you very much as well."
"I…he does, I think," Theon said. "But…he…he hasn't seen it yet but people…they treat him badly. For being with me."
"You want to change," she said softly, staring at the last card that showed a spiral.
"Well, of course I want to change it…"
"No, no, you want to change. You think it will help…oh my poor boy, don't you see it won't?" she asked, patting his hand with a gnarled old claw. "It would be just giving in, dear."
"But…I love him," Theon said. "And I want to be with him, without him getting hurt for it."
"So you would…what? Change all that you are?" she asked.
"Not all just…maybe my species. I can't, I know," Theon said.
"…You are foolish, but I will help you," she said after staring at him for a long time. "Your beloved, what race is he?"
"Human," Theon said.
"Oh, that's easy enough," she said.
"Easy?" Theon asked.
"I'm a master alchemist boy, fortune-telling doesn't really pay the bills," she said. "If you really want this…well, I'll help. But you must swear to me that you will be honest with yourself over whether or not you like it, and if you don't you will return to yourself. All right?"
"…You can do that?"
"It's like putting Baleful Polymorph in a bottle. Minus the Baleful," she said. "Krakenborn are near-human anyway, it's not so hard."
"You'd do that?" Theon asked.
"Promise me first," she said. "If you don't like it, you come back here for a fix."
"Yes ma'am," Theon said firmly. "I promise."
"All right. Now, help me grind these scales down…oh, and you'll be paying for all the ingredients, of course, plus mixing time."
.o.o.o.
Theon fingered the vial in his pocket as he slowly opened the door to their room.
It was a little frightening at he could just…change like that.
As he shut the door, Robb stirred on the bed, "Theon?"
"Hey, Robb," Theon said.
"Good walk?"
"Yeah, feeling nice and tired now," he said.
"M'kay," Robb mumbled. "Get in bed then…"
Theon nodded. As he undressed he placed the vial in his fist, holding it tight.
"C'mon already," Robb muttered.
"Coming, coming," Theon said.
"You're cold," Robb muttered. Theon tried not to wince.
"I kind of usually am," he said. Krakenborn were cooler than humans, it was just how things were.
"Mm-hm," Robb agreed. "Night, sweetheart…"
"Night, paladin," Theon said as Robb leaned on him. He pulled out the vial and red the warning label in the moonlight.
For use of changing one's species to HUMAN. Only for use by KRAKENBORN. Effects non-permanent, but can be altered to be made so. WARNING: may cause itching, stat modification, sensory modification, and possible identity issues. Consult with any significant others before attempting to make permanent. Ingest before going to sleep for best results.
Well that was pretty straightforward.
Still, did he really want to do this? It was probably pretty risky…
Robb chose that moment to curl against his side even more tightly.
Theon looked at him. Robb deserved this, at the very least…deserved being with someone normal.
He downed the vial and quickly stashed it under the mattress.
.o.o.o.
Theon opened his eyes blearily. Robb had rolled away at some point in the night, leaving him along on his side of the bed.
He went to haul the paladin back over only to stare at his own arm.
It was peach-colored.
The old kobold. The potion.
Theon looked down at himself. Everything generally seemed to be in order, beyond his clothes being a bit loose, but then as a race Krakenborn were a bit larger than humans, generally…
He stood and crossed the room to the dresser, where he looked himself over in the mirror. "Wow…"
His hair was longer than Robb's, straighter too. It was the color his tentacles had been, though, and he seemed to have some on his chest and…everywhere else Robb had hair, really. His eyes seemed green-brown, not the gold-yellow they used to be…
He leaned close, running a hand over his face. His ears were wider now, his mouth a bit smaller…he didn't have those brown flecks on that Robb did on his skin though...
There was a scraping noise.
"Tell me who you are and where the Krakenborn is or I'll kill you."
Theon whipped around. Robb was glaring at him, sword out.
"Where is he?" Robb snarled. It looked like he was getting ready to cast Holy Sword, too. Shit.
Theon slipped and fell against the dresser, barely catching himself. "R-Robb I—I'm-"
Robb's sword clattered to the floor as soon as he spoke. "Theon?"
Theon nodded. He went to smile but Robb looked so shocked and…gods, Theon had just wanted to make him happy but he didn't look happy…
"What did you do?" Robb asked. "What did you do?"
"I-I wanted to…just to try," Theon said, taken aback by the vehemence. "I…I just wanted…I wanted to…to be like you…"
"Theon," Robb whispered, walking over. "Theon, why didn't you tell me?"
"I…I didn't want to…I don't know…"
Robb was right. He should have told him, not had him wake up to someone totally different…
"Why would you even want to do this?" Robb whispered, drawing him close. Theon absently noted that Robb was now taller than him by at least four inches.
"I…I couldn't…I'm not brave, I guess. I couldn't take being the only…and being with…people acting like…I thought you'd be happy…"
"Oh, sweetheart," Robb whispered, pulling them both down to sit on the floor. "No, Theon. No."
"But…but we're the same now." And wasn't that good?
Robb looked horrified, tears pooling in his eyes. "You…you think I wanted this?"
"I…why wouldn't you?" Theon asked, because why wouldn't Robb have wanted this?
"No, sweetheart, no," Robb whispered, touching his face. "Never."
"You…you never wondered?" Theon asked.
"Theon…have you ever wondered what I'd be like as a Krakenborn?"
"I…I suppose," Theon said. More as passing curiosity than anything…
"But did you ever really want me to be?" Robb asked.
"No!" He could never wish away those red curls, that pale, flecked skin…
"Then why would I?"
"I…it's different…"
"No, it's not," Robb insisted. "Theon…just…why didn't you say something?"
"I wanted to surprise you."
"Not about this, about…about how you were feeling that made you do this," Robb said. "Do you…do you really hate being what you are that much?"
Theon opened and closed his mouth. He didn't know. He just…he'd thought he'd be happier this way. That Robb would be happier too. "I thought you'd like this."
"Theon you don't…you don't do things like this for reasons like that," Robb said softly.
One of his hands went and buried itself in Theon's hair. Theon frowned when he realized it didn't feel right.
"Not…not the same, is it?" Robb asked shakily, as if reading his mind.
Theon shook his head. He could only feel Robb's fingers against his scalp itself, the hairs felt nothing, and they really got in the way of his skin feeling the fingers properly. It felt so wrong.
Robb leaned in to kiss him. Theon suddenly realized he couldn't wrap his tongue all the way around Robb's anymore, and even if he didn't have to since his teeth were duller it felt awkward and he had to pull away so soon just to breathe since he hadn't known he'd have to hold his breath…
"I screwed up," he sobbed. "I don't…I don't like this, I thought I'd like this…"
"I thought so," Robb said softly, rubbing his back. "Get dressed. We'll…we'll find someone to fix this."
"I thought you'd be happy."
Robb looked stricken, "When you're miserable?"
"…I thought I'd be happy."
"I…Theon, I love you. I love you so much and it…it hurts that you'd do this to yourself over me."
"I didn't want to hurt you." He felt so stupid, so small…
"I know," Robb said softly. "I know you didn't, sweetheart."
Theon's throat burned as his eyes watered. "I'm…I didn't…I wanted…I'm scared."
"Scared?"
Theon hugged himself. "I…I'm scared one day…you'll think it's too much trouble. I'm too much trouble."
"No, no, Theon," Robb said. "Never."
"But I'm…I'm too different. I'm strange."
"Gods, what's got you thinking like this?" Robb asked. "You're wonderful and funny and handsome how…how can you even think you aren't?"
Theon shrugged.
"I love you," Robb said gently. "The real you, Theon."
"It…it's not permanent," Theon hiccupped. "She knew. She knew this would happen."
"She?"
"Kobold who helped me out," Theon said. Gods she'd been right… "It's…it's not permanent but I…I don't know how to undo it…"
Robb kissed his forehead. "It'll be okay. Let's go find this woman, all right?"
Theon nodded, too choked by his tears to speak.
.o.o.o.
An old kobold woman in a headscarf smiled as they entered the tent. "I knew you'd be back, little kraken."
"What do you mean?" Robb asked as Theon weakly waved at her.
She chuckled and reached behind her, patting her deck of cards. "These don't lie. He has someone who loves him so much but he just cannot let himself believe it, even when I tried telling him more gently. I knew whoever that was they'd want to set things right."
Robb frowned at Theon, "You had an old fortuneteller who's never met you figure that out and tell you it to your face and it still didn't sink in?"
"His heart is tightly guarded," the woman said. "You have managed a great feat, young paladin, making your way so deeply in. I said as much to him."
"You knew about all that and still helped him do this?" Robb asked angrily.
"I was making a point," she said, idly waving a claw at him. "I knew you'd react as you clearly have. The spell is easily broken—I don't really do everlasting curses, boys."
"Can't you just remove it?" Robb asked.
The kobold hopped up and seized his ear, nearly hauling his head to the table—Robb wondered what an old spellcaster was doing with that high a Strength stat. She leaned close to his ear.
"And have him back to wondering if maybe you'd had him like this longer, had time to get used to it you'd have liked it better than the way he is normally? What would be the point?" she hissed.
"What was that?" Theon asked, leaning over them.
"She's scolding me for trying to just snap my fingers and make everything better," Robb lied. His Bluff skill was terrible, but then Theon didn't seem to be in the mind to try and Sense Motive right now. "And…and she's right. This is something we need to deal with."
"Exactly!" the kobold laughed. "Now, the spell will break when you get sulky there to actually realize that you love him. He's not just a good friend or a good fuck, you are in love with him and he needs to know it. Think you can do that, Red?"
Robb realized what she was saying. "Oh, I can do that. I can do that."
"Robb?" Theon asked.
"We're going back to the room," Robb said. "And thanks."
He tossed the kobold a gold piece while walking out. She laughed, "Have fun, boys!"
"Robb, what are you doing?" Theon asked after Robb had dragged him back through the streets to the inn.
"I need to make sure you don't go doing this again," Robb said.
"I-I won't. I swear," Theon said. "I don't like being human…"
"But you might still have those feelings that made you do this," Robb said, fumbling for the key on his belt before opening the room.
"I…it's not important."
Not important? Theon thought Robb didn't love him. "It's important. It's so important and you thinking it's not…gods, Theon."
"It…seemed like a good idea," Theon said softly. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry," Robb said. "You just…please, you need to understand. I love you the way you are, Theon. You don't need to change for me. I love you already."
Theon nodded, "I know."
"Do you? Do you really?" Robb asked.
Theon frowned. "I…of course I do."
He didn't, then. "Lie down."
"What?" Theon asked, perhaps shocked to have failed a bluff for once.
"Go lie down. We're going to talk," Robb said, taking off his boots.
Theon frowned but did as Robb asked, leaving his weapons and boots on the floor.
"Good," Robb said, sitting next to him and lightly running a hand over Theon's chest. "Do you know when I first realized I loved you? Really loved you?"
Theon shook his head.
"It was right after you said you wanted to stay in Winterfell," Robb said. "That the time you were about to go back to Pyke would be the last time, to get your things so you could stay for good. You were looking out the window towards the woods and you were smiling and I just…gods I just fell."
"What?" Theon asked.
"You…you just looked… you looked so amazing right then," Robb said. "And I just knew I'd be counting the days until you got back."
Theon stared at him, wide-eyed.
"And then you came back and…and everything felt so right with the world," Robb said. "Not like when you were gone. I started feeling like part of me was missing."
"What?"
"And I…when you started flirting with me I was over the moon that you liked me too and…you see where I'm going with this, right?"
"I get the idea," Theon said.
"Then please understand that I miss you," Robb said. "I miss how you were back in the North, when you seemed…when you were fine with your own skin. I miss your tongue and your teeth and your eyes and your tentacles and how cool your skin feels when I'm too hot and the look on your face when we're about to take out a bunch of villains and you're grinning so wide that I can see how sharp your teeth are and-"
"Really?"
"I'm in love with a Krakenborn," Robb said firmly. "Don't you think that the fact that he's a Krakenborn might be something I love about him? I mean…you love me, even though I'm human, right?"
"I love a lot about you because you're human," Theon said softly. "Because it's, well, it's you."
"Really?" Robb asked, enthused.
"I love your hair. I love it so much," Theon said. "It's the most gorgeous hair I've ever seen."
"You're making me blush," Robb teased, rolling so he was poised above Theon. "Speaking of which, you had the prettiest blush whenever I managed to catch you off guard with something."
Theon blushed now, but it wasn't the same. Robb only hoped this worked so he could see that pretty green tint sometime soon.
"I miss feeling your tentacles on my skin," he whispered. "I miss them rubbing all over my ears and head and neck when you kiss me, miss them twirling around my hands when I stroke them, miss the look on your face when I play with them…"
"Yeah?" Theon breathed.
"I miss whenever we'd manage to get a room with a tub and I'd ride you while you let yourself go under. I want to find a dock and have so much sex with you under it that you can't set your head right until morning."
"Drag you under," Theon murmured, his eyelids lowering halfway dreamily. "Under the waves where I'm your only air."
"You'd take me in the sea," Robb replied, leaning closer. "In that cold, cold water…where we're the only warm things around…just me and my handsome kraken…"
Theon's hands shot up and grabbed Robb's head, pulling him close for a deep, desperate kiss.
Robb's hands slipped and he went to balance himself when suddenly the from beneath him slightly expanded.
His tongue was quickly seized and cocooned by a longer, more limber one as the force of the hands holding him against Theon increased.
Robb gasped and pulled back for air.
He felt his heart swell as he looked down to see two golden eyes with elongated pupils that were blown oh so wide. "Welcome back, sweetheart."
Theon lazily dragged his tongue over his teeth, eyelids still at half-mast. "Good to be back."
"Is it really now?" Robb asked, making sure to keep his hands far from Theon's head.
Theon nodded, "I…gods, Robb I don't know why I…I just got so down I guess and somehow that seemed like a good idea…"
"You are very lucky you ended up dealing with someone that benevolent," Robb scolded. "You could have gotten a lot worse."
Gods, it could have been permanent. Robb probably could have adjusted, given time but Theon…he was breaking down within a half-hour of waking up human. It never would have worked out well…
"I was an idiot," Theon agreed softly. "I…I never meant to hurt you, Robb. Or hurt myself like that. I just…"
"It's how people treat you," Robb said quietly.
"Yeah."
"Don't listen to them," Robb said, kissing him. "Listen to me. I'm the one who loves you, aren't I?"
"You are," Theon agreed. "And I love you too."
Robb smiled as Theon sat up, content to slide back and give his lover some room. But Theon didn't seem to want room; he pulled Robb close and rested his forehead against the paladin's.
"Fuck finding a party to go overland. Let's make for a port and sail home," Theon said. "It's been years since I've been on a ship and I've yet to get to have you on one."
"You just want to have sex under the docks before we set sail," Robb accused, struggling to stay focused as those lovely tendrils started sliding over his shoulders.
"There's always that," Theon agreed, leaning forward again.
"Next time…next time talk to me," Robb said, quickly leaning away. "When you feel like that."
"I promise. Now come here," Theon said, smiling. That one curly tentacle was already reaching out for him.
Robb leaned back in.
.o.o.o.
"Yes, one cabin," Robb said. "And we're willing to aid against any pirates or monsters or whatever else you encounter at sea."
Theon smiled softly. For such a good and lawful man Robb was actually very good at business transactions. Who knew?
"We?" the man asked, looking around.
"Us," Theon said. "Him and me."
"And…you only need one cabin?" the man asked as soon as he recovered from his surprise at the human and the Krakenborn being together.
Great. Theon got to play the 'homophobe or racist' game again…going by the way the masked ire was mostly directed at him, he was leaning towards racist.
"Is there something wrong?" Robb asked casually, taking Theon's hand.
"Classes?" the man asked, looking back to his books.
"I'm a paladin, he's a ranger," Robb said. "Around fifteenth level. Theon's especially good at fighting sea serpents."
"All right," the man said. "Might want to keep the shenanigans to a minimum in more dangerous waters, because you're currently top of the list for 'barge into their room for help if there's trouble.'"
"Knock first," Robb said. "Okay?"
God, just the little smirk on those lips was making Theon want to bend Robb over the table and start plundering that mouth…
"Deal," the man said. "That'll be four gold for each of you, five if you want into the mead."
"We have our own wine," Theon said. "Dornish."
"Lucky men," the man chuckled. "Well, this all seems in order, just need names."
"Robb and Theon," Theon said. Last names might complicate things.
"Welcome aboard," the man said.
"What do you think the encounter rate is for a ship like this anyway?" Robb asked as they walked up the gangplank.
"Eh, two or three for the whole trip. Probably at least one sea serpent since you mentioned them," Theon replied.
"Ah, damn it. Forgot not to go tempting the gods," Robb sighed.
"It's okay, precious, I still love you," Theon teased.
Robb gave him one of those wonderful smiles, the ones that made Theon think of the sun, and leaned up to softly kiss him, one hand gently rubbing the roots of Theon's bound tentacles.
Theon suddenly felt they were being watched.
Oh gods, there were other people on deck.
Robb just grinned, "Sorry folks, this one's mine. Get your own."
Theon jerked at the force of a human in full armor throwing himself into his arms as Robb went in for another kiss. He reciprocated as best he could while still keeping his balance until Robb pulled back to breathe.
Theon gasped, "You. Me. Cabin. Now."
"Couldn't agree more. Let's go," Robb said, taking his hand and leading him below deck.
The stares drilled into him the whole way, but suddenly Theon didn't give a damn anymore. He was going home, and he was going with Robb.
Everything would be just fine.
.o.o.o.
A/N: Part of the "only AUs can be happy" series. Compared to the first to, it's Theon's turn to not be the normal human!
I actually put a lot of thought into the Krakenborn race (they get +STR and CON and -WIS and CHA, are typically rogues, pirates, barbarians, and assassins, are isolationists, and can't be lawful if anyone's wondering) and to alignments: Theon's alignment is somewhere between Neutral Good and True Neutral. Robb is of course Lawful Good. Elmar Frey is True Neutral, just selfish. Joff is Chaotic Evil. Olyvar is Lawful Good and Eddard I didn't care ;P.