Pleasing the Public
Note: This idea came from Persian13 so I thought of gently copying his humor and not offending any Justice League or Avengers characters whatsoever. That said, on with the story!
It was a quiet Tuesday evening as the author sat in his office onboard the Watchtower, sipping a cup of mocha coffee
Ah, this is the life. Coffee, quality food… Black Canary sleeping on my sofa.
Indeed, the lovely femme fatale was snoozing away on said author's velvet sofa. Her light blonde hair dangled, her soft snores echoed lightly, and a bit of drool forming on her lip. She muttered something in her sleep before turning over.
Man, what I wouldn't give to have a night with her… giggity
"Excuse me, Mr. Stoker? Can I borrow a word with you?" Hippolyta asked kindly as the almighty Queen of the Amazons entered looking lovely as usual
Oh but of course, dahling! Mi casa es su casa. Tell me, sweetie, what's on your elegant mind?
"Do you think you can arrange me a few spots in your stories? I find the interpretation of my daughter to be very well fitting to our culture." Hippolyta commented, batting her gorgeous eyelashes
No problem. Oh and you might be happy to know that I finally booted those lecherous perverts out of your throne room earlier. They wont be coming here that's for sure.
"STOKER! WHERE THE HELL IS HE?!" Deathstroke hollered, bursting in with a crazed look before hammily shouting "YOU!"
Oh joy, if it isn't Mr. I Like Killing Heroes and Getting Paid for It. Look Wilson, I told you a million times, NO, I will NOT, repeat, NOT make a story of you having a fling with Cheetara and that's FINAL! Now what is it? I'm very busy at the moment
"You've got a lot of nerve making that idea of letting Joker get killed by that freak with no head." Deathstroke snarled
Watch it Slade! Say one more insult about my bodyguard, maybe it'll be YOU next. Unless you want me to show your wife what you did to poor, poor Blackfire…
"NOOOOOO! PLEASE! DON'T!" Deathstroke wailed, begging on his knees, pathetically kissing the author's feet. Suddenly, a large piano flattened the miserable mercenary.
Thank you Dinah, I couldn't take that asshole's whining any longer. So Hippolyta, about our contract for that salon in Themysciera…
"GET BACK HERE, YOU TWO-TIMING, SEXIST SWINE!" Spoiler screamed, cackling maniacally as she chased Robin with a large burning torch.
"Uh… what's up with her?" Dinah asked, hinting Spoiler
Honey, I have no idea. Ever since that War Games incident, she's flipped her lid. Y'know, like what happened to Hatter before I had Ghost Rider shut him up?
"Technically, you let him burn Mad Hatter with his chain." Flash added
Yes, but he deserved it. And I found it amusing. Now, if I can have everyone's attention… that means you, Stephanie! And please drop the torch or I'll have to get the hose again!
"This better be good, Stoker. I do not approve of your killing of Joker." Batman grimly smirked, the author rolling his eyes
oh Lordy Lord, what am I to do? Ok, now as you all know, this month marks the annual Play offs. So, I am planning… a rip off of the X Factor!
"Isnt that Marvel?" Roy asked stupidly. Huntress smacked him up the head. "It's the reality song show, you moron!"
Thank you Helena. Yes it is the same as the FOX show. Now the judges are as follows… Zatanna,
"Yes! Finally I get the jackpot!" Zatanna cheered, showing off her… revealing lemons. Hehehe
Yes you do. Next, Hippolyta…
"Praise the Amazons! My time has come!" Hippolyta boasted, taking a dramatic pose, a'la Xena Warrior Princess style
Next, Lady Blackhawk…
"All right, now you're talking my language, handsome!" Blackhawk purred, planting a large smooch on the author
Oh yeah, that's more like it. And finally… oh this'll be good… Batman
"What?" Bats asked gruffly
You will be the DC version of Simon Cowell, only less on the grumpy sourbag sort. Any questions?
"Uh, when do we start?" Dinah asked tiredly, yawning
Tomorrow morning, first thing, 8 am sharp! Don't be late! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to mark arrangements with my clients from Coruscant
End of One Shot