One more day, one more time... One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied.
But then again, I know what it would do...
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you.
Daryl gave a sigh as he sat in the passenger side of the car he and Rick were in; along with Carl and little sister Judith being in the back.
Daryl stared out the window, watching the evenings sun as it slowly started to turn orange.
This wasn't real. He refused to believe it.
Losing his father was one thing; but his brother too? Someone he loved? No. This couldn't be real...
Merle was still out there waiting for him. That's what Daryl told himself. He's still waiting to be found...
"Daryl, are you alright?" Rick asked, glancing at him briefly, as he drove onward.
It's been a week now and Daryl hasn't spoken one word, not even to Carol. Rick had little hope today would be different.
"Yeah." Daryl answered however.
Rick didn't buy it. The tears Daryl was desperately fighting to keep hidden gave it all away.
"Daryl, I know how you feel but you can't let it get to you... Merle's death wasn't a lost cause." Rick attempted to comfort.
Daryl rested his head against the back of the car seat. "No, you don't... You don't know what it's like to look for someone for so long, to find them and just lose them again so quickly... I barely spent any time with him…" Daryl fought back. His cracking voice and trembling body gave away his hurt all too easily, as the memories flooded his mind like a never ending waterfall...
An endless river of stupid little fights, insults, teasing and beatings to one another was all that remained. How Daryl missed it all.
"I had to put him down like some rabid dog..." The redneck added, with shame in himself.
Rick gave a sigh. "The wound won't heal but time will ease your pain... And like it or not, this was fate. I think Merle knew what was to come and he embraced it like a man... Like a hero."
Daryl said nothing.
"I know you loved him, and he felt the same... You were brothers despite your differences... But Merle done that to protect us..." Rick trailed off, taking Daryl's hand in his; disregarding Carl seeing. "To protect you. Now, Merle wouldn't want you to feel sorry for that... Or to tear up over it. If he saw you like this, he would kick your ass – no offence."
Daryl frowned, however he locked his fingers tightly with Rick's. "I can't help myself. It hurts..." He paused, swallowing deeply. "So much..." He wasn't one to break down over anything, but this was family... That was the man he first felt any sort of love for…
Rick just didn't understand it in his opinion. Daryl's heart was shattered… Only time could glue the pieces back together and still, there would be those pieces that remained missing; lost in the darkness.
"I know, Daryl, I know." Yet Daryl didn't understand Rick. Rick knew exactly what this was like. Carl too, from Lori... Even Carol with Sophia.
"But, you got your vengeance... And you got us… You got me..." Rick paused, thinking for a second. "Killing the Governor and having us doesn't fill the void but it's not hopeless. We have to move on, start over; together."
Daryl ignored the man, as he closed his eyes, letting his thoughts take him back in time to a somewhat better place.
His trembles stopped, but his grip remained tight on Rick's hand.
"You left me too soon Merle... Too soon... All for damn redemption..." Daryl muttered to himself, as he let a tear escape his eye finally.
Rick made it real with his offer of comfort but Daryl didn't want that. Daryl wanted to deny still, pretend that he didn't murder his undead brother... Pretend that Merle was here and their bond wasn't broken.
Thus, he didn't continue the conversation. Instead, he let his mind wonder to a time when he had to be no more than 10 years of age.
A time when the only thing Daryl feared was his father's drunken rage and the thunder and lightning outside that came with heavy rain.
But there was a quick fix for all of that... Sneaking into big brothers room and climbing into bed with Merle, despite the older's protests.
Daryl would always snuggle close to his hung-over sibling, on the filthy, disgusting mattress; that always granted him peace.
The worn down, torn and tattered mattress on the mess of a clothes and beer bottle filled floor wasn't much to adore but he had Merle there beside him and that meant the world to a young Daryl Dixon.
How Daryl longed to go back to those days, how he longed to hear the name 'Darlina' once more escape his brothers lips in a tauntful but yet sweet tone..
He longed for that more than anything now... He longed for days that would never come again... No matter how much his heart ached, begged and screamed for them.
Just a little something I had to write after this weeks episode. Agh, Merle. T-T Making me tear up.. Bastard! But eh, I still love the guy and I'm gonna bloody miss him.
Would've been longer but I'm stuck with a crappy computer and didn't want to write much that would take up a lot of time.