Author's Note: Okay folks, I wrote most of the first chapter of this story in September and then completely forgot about it. I rediscovered it near the beginning of January and have been working hard on it for the past few weeks. It's not 100% perfect and it's not my best work ever...but I've worked on it long enough and it's time I put it out there in the world. I think there are things that could probably be improved (have I mentioned that I'm a perfectionist?), but I adore the story and there are sections of writing in here that I'm incredibly proud of. This somehow ended up being my longest fanfic to date, and it's been fun to write. I hope you enjoy, friends! :)

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Liz burst through the front door, gun raised, her heart racing at the sight of the two dead bodies lying bleeding on the patterned antique rug, the cozy lamplight in the room incongruous with the terror that had taken place here so recently. Ressler appeared right behind her, and the two of them quickly began scanning the first floor of the house. Samar headed up the stairs to the sound of Liz and Ressler shouting, "clear," as they finished checking the rooms downstairs. Ressler leaned down to check the bodies, and Liz followed Samar upstairs, efficiently searching the few rooms on the second floor. Suddenly Liz heard Samar call out to her softly from the last room. "Liz, get in here."

She hurried in to make sure Samar was okay and saw her picking up a tiny toddler, a little girl with wispy blonde hair who didn't look older than two years old. The toddler was nervously sucking her thumb, and her blue eyes were wide, tracks of dried tears covering her round red cheeks.

Liz's eyes widened as she walked toward them. "Hi, sweetie. Everything's gonna be okay. You're okay," she murmured, taking the girl from Samar's arms and holding her against her hip, stroking her soft, fine hair.

Liz looked at Samar, who gave her a tiny reassuring smile, placing her hand on her shoulder gently. "You stay here with her. She can't go downstairs right now."

Liz nodded and watched Samar leave the room before turning her gaze back to the scared little girl in her arms. She smiled at her and the little girl reached up, poking her finger into Liz's dimple.

Liz moved to sit down in a rocking chair in the corner of the room next to a bookshelf. "What's your name, sweetie?" Liz asked.

The girl babbled a little before managing to get out, "Sa-wa."

"Sara? That's a lovely name. I'm Liz," she replied, pointing to herself. "My name is Liz."

Sara gazed at her, looking a little overwhelmed and confused. "Wiz," she repeated.

"That's right." Liz smiled, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head.

"Mama?" Sara whimpered, her tone questioning.

Liz's heart broke. She remembered seeing a beautiful blonde woman dead on the floor downstairs. Sara's mother. And the man would likely have been Sara's father. Tears pricked at her eyes and she held Sara closer. She began to gently rock the chair back and forth, and forced herself to think. She had no idea how to tell a two year old that their parents were gone forever. But she knew she needed to keep Sara relaxed. Liz started softly singing The Anniversary Waltz, holding Sara against her chest, moving her thumb against the girl's tiny arm in a soothing motion.

She was at work, on a case, holding a strange child whose dead parents were lying downstairs, but suddenly the adrenaline of the search wore off and she felt her eyes drifting shut as she kept singing. She could feel herself relaxing at the sound of Sara's breaths evening out. And before long, she drifted to sleep with the little girl safely in her arms.

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Liz woke to the feel of someone's hand on her arm, and she heard Samar's voice murmuring her name. Her eyes fluttered open quickly as she remembered where she was and what had happened. She couldn't believe she'd actually fallen asleep at the scene of a double homicide.

Samar was kneeling in front of her, her hand still resting on her arm softly. "Hey," Liz whispered, blinking the sleep from her eyes.

"Hey," Samar said quietly, smiling. "Her name is Sara."

"I know. She told me," Liz replied, smiling tenderly down at the sleeping little girl.

"She has no living family and her parents didn't leave a will. She'll have to be put into foster care for now," Samar informed her.

Liz's eyes stung at the thought of this precious little girl being put into a string of foster homes. She was overwhelmed with love for her already, her desire to be a mother, thinking about how excited she'd been to start a family by adopting a child with Tom. And before she even had time to think it through, she blurted out, "I'll adopt her. Will they let me adopt her?"

Samar's eyes widened in surprise. "Liz, are you sure? You should think about it before making a decision."

Liz shook her head. "I'm tired of thinking about things. I've wanted to be a mother for years, and I was so close to adopting a baby last year…" she trailed off. "I want to do this," she added firmly.

Samar's brow furrowed in concern, but she nodded, squeezing Liz's arm before standing upright. "I'll go make a call, see what I can do. Be back soon."

Liz smiled at her gratefully, then turned her gaze back to the still sleeping girl in her arms, trying to calm her racing heart and quell her soaring hopes.

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Two hours later, Liz was walking outside into the chilly fall air with Sara in her arms. Child services had agreed to the adoption after reviewing her files from the adoption firm she'd gone to with Tom. The bodies had been removed from the living room by the time they left, and she was relieved that she hadn't had to see the parents Sara had lost again. The memory of that first sight of them would be ingrained in her memory forever. She hugged Sara tighter into her chest, a duffel bag of the little girl's clothes and belongings slung over her shoulder.

Samar jogged to catch up with her, another bag on her own shoulder, and Sara's folded crib in her arms. "Liz, you two come stay with me until you can find a new place. It will be much more comfortable than the motel."

Liz gaze shot toward her in disbelief. "No, Samar, I couldn't. That's way too much of an imposition."

Samar smiled at her. "I insist. Please."

Liz thought for a moment, but then nodded, a grin spreading across her face. "Thank you," she whispered before pressing a kiss to Sara's blonde curls.

"You're welcome. Now let's get out of here. It's late," Samar replied, leading Liz toward the car they'd already set up with Sara's car seat (which they'd found inside the Toyota in the garage of the small house).

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When they arrived at Samar's apartment, Liz was exhausted. Sara had been asleep on and off all evening, so odds were that she wouldn't sleep as much as Liz wanted her to that night. Samar took one glance at Liz and frowned, noticing how tired and overwhelmed she was. She set up the crib as quickly as she could next to the couch and then reached out to lift Sara from Liz's sagging arms. "Here, let me take her. You go get ready for bed. You look exhausted."

Liz was too tired to argue, so she simply nodded and wandered down a hallway until she found a bathroom. She splashed water on her face, rinsing her makeup off, before tying her hair up into a ponytail. She used the toilet, washed her hands, and stripped off her jacket, tossing it into a pile on the tile floor just as Samar knocked on the door. Liz opened it and Samar's head popped in.

"There's an extra toothbrush in that cabinet," she told her, pointing to the vanity next to the sink. "Towels and washcloths are in the closet right outside if you want to take a shower. I'll go find you something to sleep in."

Before Liz could reply, Samar's head had disappeared from the crack in the open door. She returned within seconds, holding a pair of sweatpants and a baggy T-shirt, handing them to Liz in a neatly folded stack. "Here, these should fit you."

Liz smiled. "Thanks. Is, uh- is Sara okay? Is she still asleep?"

"She's fine, and still asleep," Samar replied with a smile. "The crib is set up the way it was at her house. I'll go keep an eye on her while you do whatever you need to do in here." She turned and headed back out to the living room where she dimmed the lights above the sleeping toddler.

By the time Liz came padding out of the bathroom, Samar had gathered sheets and blankets and pillows and was setting up a makeshift bed on the couch for Liz, right next to Sara's crib. Liz smiled, noticing that Samar had put the pillow on the end closest to the crib. "Thanks for all of this, Samar. I mean it. You didn't have to do any of this."

A small smile tugged at Samar's lips and she shrugged. "Four hours ago, you had no idea you were going to be a parent. I know you're overwhelmed. This is the least I can do."

Samar's words sunk in through her dazed brain. She was a parent. A few hours ago she didn't know this little girl existed, and now she was her mother. Overwhelmed was barely scratching the surface. But Liz didn't want to break down in front of Samar. They weren't that close. Plus Sara was asleep a few feet away; she didn't want to risk waking her and upsetting her. So she swallowed the lump of emotion in her throat and blinked back the tears in her eyes, nodding resolutely at Samar.

Samar could tell Liz was fighting back tears, and she knew that Liz was enough like herself that crying in front of others, showing that kind of intense vulnerability in front of a friend from work, was out of the question. She walked past Liz, squeezing her shoulder reassuringly. "Try to get some sleep. My room is at the end of the hall if you need anything."

Samar dimmed the light as far down as it would go, then disappeared. Liz heard her bedroom door opening and shutting down the hall and she stood in the semi-darkness, looking around before gazing down at Sara.

Her daughter.

Tears began to stream down her cheeks and she crawled under the blankets Samar had left pulled back on the couch, tucking herself between the sheets. She was too tired and overwhelmed to think anymore. She just needed to sleep, and then maybe she wouldn't feel so flustered and emotional in the morning.

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Morning happened to be around three-thirty a.m., which is when Sara woke up wailing and crying hysterically. Liz shot up from her light slumber on the couch and rushed to the side of the crib, picking Sara up carefully and bouncing her on her hip. "Shhh," she comforted over and over. "It's okay, Sara. It's okay."

"Mama," the little girl sobbed, her face scrunched and red, already soaked in tears and snot. "Want mama," she cried repeatedly.

"I know, baby girl, I know you want your mama." Her heart ached for Sara. She didn't even notice when tears began to fall from her own eyes. "Do you remember me? I'm Liz. Do you remember Liz?" she murmured, stroking the little girl's hair softly.

Sara just kept crying, and Liz didn't know what to do. What were you supposed to do for a two-year-old who had just lost her parents? How were you supposed to explain that?

Liz knelt down to open one of the bags, pulling out the well-loved teddy bear she'd brought from Sara's house. She held it in front of the little girl's face until she noticed it and reached out her tiny hand, grabbing the bear and clutching it to her tiny body.

Sara calmed down slightly once she had the teddy bear. Liz sat down, holding Sara to her chest, and began to softly sing The Anniversary Waltz again. It had worked before and she didn't know what else to do. She closed her eyes, quietly humming near Sara's ear, stroking her back. Within minutes, Sara had stopped crying, cuddling closer into Liz's chest and hugging her bear more tightly. Liz kept singing and humming until Sara had drifted to sleep in her arms. She kissed the top of her head and continued stroking her back gently.

Liz opened her eyes and looked up, noticing Samar leaning against the wall at the entrance to the living room, her arms crossed loosely, smiling softly. Liz was glad it was dark because her cheeks felt hot and she knew she was blushing, embarrassed that Samar had seen such a vulnerable, intimate moment. How long had she been standing there?

"I got up to see if you needed help, but when I saw you, I didn't want to interrupt," Samar explained quietly. "I'm sorry for the intrusion."

Liz smiled and shook her head, then carefully stood up and placed Sara back in her crib, still clutching her teddy bear. She turned back to Samar, who was walking towards her. "You okay?" Samar asked from a few feet away, her arms crossed more tightly across her chest.

Liz nodded. "Yeah, just a little overwhelmed. You were right, I probably should have thought about it a little more before jumping in."

"I think you would have made the same decision. I can already tell that you're a wonderful mother," Samar replied easily.

Liz smiled, shyly looking down at the floor, crossing her arms across her chest, unconsciously mirroring Samar's position.

Samar continued, aware of Liz's discomfort. "And I'll help you with anything you need. I used to take care of my younger brother when we were growing up."

Liz looked back up at her. "You really don't have to do this, Samar, I swear. I'll be fine. Reddington bought me an apartment last week. I turned it down, but I'm pretty sure he'll be more than happy if I change my mind." She was uncomfortable accepting help. She was always willing to give it, had even reprimanded Red for being unable to accept it. But she felt embarrassed, like she had to do this by herself to prove to herself that she wasn't a complete failure after everything that had happened, everything she'd lost, in the past two years.

Samar raised an eyebrow. "Reddington bought you an apartment?"

Liz snorted. "Yeah. He's insane. But I need a place to live, so I might as well take it."

Samar nodded. She was smiling, but she looked oddly disappointed. Liz filed that away for later thought when she wasn't so exhausted. Sometimes being able to read people so well was a hassle. "Perfect timing. The offer still stands though. For help."

"Thank you." Liz smiled gratefully. "But I promise we'll be out of your way as soon as I talk to Red about the apartment."

"You're truly not in the way. But I'm glad you have a place you'll be able to call home." Samar smiled sadly. "I'm going to try to get a bit more sleep. I'll see you in the morning, Liz."

And then Samar was disappearing back down the hallway, leaving her alone and confused in the living room. After a few seconds, Liz climbed back into her couch-bed to soak up as much sleep as she could get.

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Liz drifted into awareness several hours later from a deep sleep. She opened her eyes and turned her head toward the sound of Sara's voice. Samar was holding her on her lap, seated at the kitchen table while Sara messily fed herself oatmeal. "Yum, yum, yum," Sara babbled in-between bites. Samar was chuckling quietly. Liz grinned sleepily as she watched the two of them together.

"It's yummy?" Samar asked with a smile.

Sara turned to look up at Samar, pointing a sticky finger at Samar's chin. "Wha's you-uh name?"

"Samar."

"Sa-maw," Sara replied.

Samar chuckled. "Yep, that's right. Now finish your oatmeal. Aren't you still hungry?"

Sara nodded, turning her attention back to her food. After another big bite of oatmeal, she spoke with her mouth full. "Whey-uh mama?"

Liz could see Samar stroking her hair gently before answering. "Your mama can't be with you anymore, darling girl. I know you miss her, but she had to go live in heaven. She loved you very, very much and she would be here if she could be. But do you remember Liz? She's going to be taking care of you now. She can be your second mama."

Liz wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. Part of her wanted to burrow beneath the blankets and hide and pretend her life hadn't changed forever. She was scared. But she also wanted this. She wanted a daughter, a family.

So she pushed the blankets off of her legs, shuffling out of her makeshift bed. Samar, hearing movement, glanced back at her, shooting her a smile, and then Liz came up behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Thanks for letting me sleep, I must have really needed it."

"Of course. This little girl is no problem at all, huh, cutie?" Samar replied, kissing the top of Sara's head. Liz smiled, feeling more tears pricking at the backs of her eyes. She couldn't believe Samar was being so wonderful. She knew that Samar had her back, but that was always at work, when they were in danger in the line of duty. But this? This showed that Samar really cared.

Liz squeezed her shoulder before letting go and sitting down in the seat next to them. "Good morning, Sara. What do you have there?" she asked cheerfully, a smile on her face.

Sara looked up, her mouth smeared with the sticky goop. "Oh-mea-uh."

Liz grinned. "Yeah? What kind?"

Sara dragged the spoon through the bowl for a moment before looking back up at Liz. "App-uwh." She reached for the cup of milk in front of her and Samar helped her lift it and take a drink. Once the cup was set back down, Sara looked at Liz again, eyes wide. "Wiz," she said, pointing at her.

"That's right, that's my name." Liz smiled, happy that she remembered after all the turmoil.

"Wiz new mama?" Sara asked, absently bending her sticky fingers in and out of a fist.

Liz nodded, and her voice trembled a little when she spoke. "Yeah, sweetie. Yeah, I'm your new mama. I can't replace your mama, but I will love you just as much, I promise."

"Mama Wiz," Sara repeated before digging back into her oatmeal.

Liz looked up, overwhelmed by the pairing of those two words, and met Samar's gaze. Samar smiled at her, her face practically glowing, and Liz felt an odd but familiar rush in her chest, quickly breaking their eye contact and looking at Sara as a distraction.

Samar sensed Liz's sudden awkwardness, and intervened. "I've got her. You can go take a shower and find something to wear in my closet if you'd like. Do you want me to call Reddington?"

Liz looked back up and smiled gratefully, shaking her head. "No, that's okay. I'll call him right now. Thank you for watching her." She ran her fingers through Sara's hair. "I'll be right back, sweetie. Have fun with Samar, okay?" she added, before hurrying away from the table, grabbing her cell phone on the way to the bathroom.

It was three minutes after seven a.m. She supposed Red never slept, much less slept in, so she pressed his number on speed dial, sitting down on the edge of the bathtub, leaning her elbows on her knees.

"Good morning, Lizzy." Red sounded so cheerful. All the time.

"Morning," she replied.

"I'm assuming this is a business call? At seven a.m. on a Saturday?"

Liz rolled her eyes at his obvious sarcasm and cut to the chase. "I'd like to accept the apartment. At the Audrey."

There was a stunned silence on the other end that only lasted a second before Red pulled himself together. "What made you change your mind, Lizzy?"

"It doesn't matter. I just wanted to let you know. I'm going over to check out the place today before I move my things in," she replied.

"I would love to meet you there and show you around. Would that be all right with you?"

"Sure. I can be there in about an hour, hour and a half?" Liz offered.

"I'll see you there," Red stated before ending the call.

Liz sighed, resting her head in her hands for a minute, before retrieving a towel from the hall closet, stripping, and letting her muscles relax under the hot spray of the shower.

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An hour and twenty minutes later, Liz found herself walking up to the tall apartment building where Reddington was waiting by the front doors, dressed impeccably as usual. Liz pulled the key he'd given her out of her bag, dangling it in front of his face. "You won this round, Reddington," she joked, feigning annoyance.

He chuckled. "I've never been so relieved to be victorious."

He led her inside, showing her the amenities in the common area downstairs before leading her into the elevator and up to the top floor. They walked to the end of the hall, and Liz unlocked the door. She drew in a breath as she pushed the door open.

It was gorgeous. Floor to ceiling windows along one wall, looking out over the city and the Potomac. Fully furnished and pristinely decorated to fit her taste. Spacious.

She rushed ahead of Red, opening doors, inspecting every room in the apartment. Two bedrooms. Thank goodness. She smiled as she saw the smaller bedroom, imagining Sara in it.

"Why so interested in the guest bedroom, Lizzy?" Red asked suspiciously. She had barely paused in the other rooms of the house, hurriedly taking everything in, but he noted that she was staring at the guest bedroom with a dreamy smile on her face.

She turned to him sheepishly, her face flushed. "We may need to redecorate in here," she hinted.

Red's brow furrowed as he tried to piece things together. "Lizzy?"

She took a deep breath and met his gaze. "I adopted a little girl last night." Reddington didn't speak, so she nervously continued. "She's about two years old, her name's Sara. It was completely unexpected, but her parents were murdered and I just couldn't let her go into foster care. I know it's crazy and probably a stupid decision, but-"

"It's not a stupid decision, Lizzy. You will be an incredible mother," Red replied, placing his hands on her shoulders and smiling broadly. "I'm so very happy for you, sweetheart."

"Thank you," she said, glancing down at her feet.

"Where is Sara now?" Red asked curiously.

"With Samar. We stayed at her place last night." Her mouth quirked up in a small smile. "She's been a big help, and they're really sweet together."

Red chuckled. "I wouldn't have expected Agent Navabi to be sweet with children, but it's a nice surprise."

Liz had wanted to keep things professional with Reddington, but she could feel her defenses sliding away. "Would you like to meet her? Maybe in a few days once things have settled down a bit?" she offered.

Red looked genuinely surprised for a moment, but he quickly nodded, a tiny smile pulling at his lips. "I would love to, Lizzy." He drew her into a hug. "Thank you," he whispered in her ear.

"You're welcome," she replied, wrapping her arms around him in return. It felt nice to know she wasn't completely alone, even if she wanted to prove that she could raise Sara by herself.

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Liz hurried back to Samar's apartment as quickly as she could, not wanting to make Samar take on all the responsibility of her child for longer than necessary.

She was buzzed inside the building, and when Samar answered the door, smiling brightly, Sara toddling toward them on unsteady legs with her arms spread wide in front of her and a grin on her face, Liz felt the oddest sense of home, of rightness, descend upon her.

Liz bent down to scoop Sara into her arms, Samar's voice bringing her out of her reverie. "How did it go with Reddington?"

Liz returned her gaze to Samar, noting the subtle flicker of varying unidentifiable emotions playing across her face beneath her smile.

"It went well," Liz replied happily. "The place is beautiful and Sara will have her own room, and there's an incredible view overlooking the city and the river, and I told Red about Sara and he was really sweet about it and I told him he could meet her soon and…" she trailed off, realizing she was babbling, speaking too quickly. She cleared her throat, forcing her brain to refocus on the woman in front of her, urging her profiler's instincts to kick in. "Sorry, yeah, it was good. How'd it go here?"

Samar smiled warmly at the little girl in Liz's arms, reaching out to gently smooth her soft blonde hair. "Everything went just fine. She's been fed, bathed, dressed, fresh diaper, the works. We even had time to read your favorite book, huh, Sara?"

Sara nodded, smiling around the chubby thumb in her mouth. Liz smiled down at her. "Wow, sounds like you've had a productive morning," she mused, running her finger softly across Sara's round cheek, before looking back at Samar. "Thank you so much for taking care of her, Samar. I really appreciate it."

"Anytime, Liz, I swear," Samar replied unhesitatingly.

Liz stood there in the doorway, unmoving. She knew it was time to get out of Samar's hair, but there was an unusual tugging in her chest telling her don't go.

"Well, um," Liz began, looking past Samar to Sara's things strewn around the room already. Having a kid meant messes, that was for sure. "I guess we'll get packed up and head over to the new place."

As her eyes returned to Samar's face, Liz just managed to catch her expression transitioning into a happy mask from something that had looked a lot like disappointment. Disappointment for the second time… And hadn't the other time been after her first mention of moving into her own place? Had Samar expected them to stay here? But…why would she want them to stay here? Liz's brow furrowed in confusion.

"If you need anything, you'll let me know?" Samar asked, mask still in place.

"Yeah, of course," Liz replied distractedly, still trying to make sense of the situation, of Samar's reactions. "Do you want to come see the apartment? It actually might be easier to get moved in with an extra pair of hands."

Samar's eyes, which had been the dead giveaway to Liz that she'd been faking her smile, instantly seemed to brighten ever so slightly, transforming the mask into real happiness. She nodded. "Absolutely, let me go take a quick shower and we'll be on our way."

Liz walked further into the apartment, setting Sara down on the living room rug next to her toys. "Take your time, there's no rush," she assured her, watching as Samar nodded and disappeared down the hallway, listening as the water started running in the bathroom, thinking about that tugging in her chest a couple minutes ago, and wondering why she felt so relieved not to be leaving without Samar.