Ask anyone in town what's the best way to keep warm during a snowstorm. They'll all tell you the secret's booze. Nothing keeps you toasty like a couple dozen shots of vodka. Toss in some whiskey and tequila to really mix things up and you'll be having yourself a real party. Hey, it's always happy hour somewhere. Why can't it be here all the time every day?
Where is this magical place of wasted potential and vomit-coated floors, you ask? Well, it could be anywhere. Maybe it's Hollywood, or maybe it's Dublin. It can even be your bedroom. I see you stuffing that bottle away! For shame.
Anyway, it was in one of these anywhere places that Vanitas wound up adding an extra coat to the flooring. He was on his...I want to say seventeenth shot of vodka? Yeah, that shounds aboot rite...hic!
Excuse me... writing these fics can get depressing. You can't blame a writer for wanting to join in on the fun. So back to Vanitas: he was downing shots like there was no tomorrow, because really, for him, there wasn't a tomorrow. Nobody understood him, and even fewer people really liked him. People just wanted to pretend he was Sora with a bad boy side, but really, he had a secret kitten fetish and liked to pick posies in the valley when no one was looking. Hey, he is a part of Ventus, after all. So while all the girls forced him into leather jackets and gave him a motorcycle to ride (which he crashed repeatedly because, what the hell, who can ride those things?!), he secretly yearned for the day where he could start a cute kitten meme of his own on Funnyjunk.
It was there, in that anywhere place, that Vanitas found himself plastered. His liver couldn't handle the shots anymore, but he couldn't stop drinking. He was playing a drinking game. Every time someone wrote a kinky story about him making out with another dude, he had to down more vodka. He cleaned out the entire top shelf within minutes, and while the owner of the anywhere place bar thing made a fortune off Vanitas's booze problem, Vanitas himself needed that money in order to buy a new liver. Too bad he was so in debt.
It didn't take long for Vanitas to keel over. It was around the time when the maggots eating his eyeballs turned to flies that Aqua walked into the anywhere bar with Roo. She was looking for Terra while Roo was looking for Pooh sticks. The two stepped over the necrotic corpse just as Scruffy was getting off his keister to sweep it under the rug. Ordering some healthy apple juice, Aqua and Roo shared their stories with each other. So moved was she by Roo's harrowing tale, that Aqua took Scruffy's broom and snapped it into two Pooh sticks. In return, Roo drew a map for Aqua to find Terra.
Aqua left to continue her quest while Roo returned to the Fellowship of the Pooh.
The end.