A/N: Ok this is just a one-shot I wrote at like 3 in the morning so it's not the best thing ever. It's also my first fic so be nice.

Disclaimer: I don't own Davy Jones, Jack or Barbossa but I do own Joshamee McJingleheiner and the SS Monkeyjanglesmith so :P to you.

The Sad Sailor

There once was a Navy officer called Joshamee McJingleheiner. One day he got sick of having to speak in a proper English accent so he said to himself.

"Oh my, I do wish I could speak-eth like a pirate."

So he quit from the Royal Navy and scurried away from Port Royal with his crew on the SS Monkeyjanglesmith.

For a couple of days they just sailed around until early one morning Joshamee bounded onto the deck and shouted out to his half drunk half asleep crew; "Yarr! Ye scaborous dogs! We be goin' after Davy Jones," he said in his pirate accent.

The crew looked at each other incredulously until one pirate asked, "But why are we going after the most feared pirate in the world?"

Joshamee McJingleheiner turned to look at his crew. "Because I want to and he is a freak with those weird tentalces on his face. Now hurry up and get sailing before a throw a temper tantrum!"

And so the crew scurried around in fear of the captain's temper.

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Davy Jones meanwhile was the devil of the sea and so was always being chased by his gothic pirate fangirls so when he heard of Joshamee McJingleheiner's quest to kill him just because he had tentacles on his face Davy Jones called on his beloved Kracken.

"Oh my sweet please will you go and eat the SS Monkeyjanglesmith for me and I promise to give you that special massage you love so much."

And so the feared sea monster swam off and swalled Joshamee McJingleheiner and all the crew aboard the SS Monkeyjanglesmith. But it was still hungry so it stalked off (or did it's best to stalk off as it can't even walk) and ate our beloved Jack Sparrow sorry CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow which then provoked the rabid fangirls of the Tortagloobia tribe to hunt down the Kracken and turn him into squid stew.

THE END

A/N: Yes I know it's short but as I said it was written at about 3 in the morning so I really wasn't all there. But please review if ya liked it or even if ya hated it I'm not very pickey.

Dascher