Yeah, I wrote this in English today. Not for an assignment, I was just REALLY bored. lol I even illustrated it, but you can't see smexy Raito. -giggles- This fanfic is less than 500 words! 403! w00tness! (actual word) Mikami/Misa is WIN. L/Raito is not win. Raito/L is total win. And, in truth, this is How Death Note SHOULD Have Ended.

IN YOUR FACE, NEAR!!

How Death Note SHOULD Have Ended

And so, Raito smiled at Mikami as he came inside the warehouse after the 40 seconds were up. Near, the SPK, and Japanese task force lay on the ground, dead. Raito, kicking Near's corpse in the side, laughed evilly at his victory.

"Good job, Mikami! Now I will be the God of this New World and you shall be my queen!" Mikami's eyes went wide and he frowned.

"Uh… Dude… I'm not gay. Even if I was, I would definitely be seme. You're SOL." He walked towards the door as Misa came busting through.

"My Misa Senses were tingling!" her eyes glanced over to Raito, "Douse my fire!"

"Raito's gay, Misa. But I'm not." He smiled and gave her the thumbs up. Misa flung herself at him and kissed him widly. Raito's eyes went wide. The two began stripping and he backed away slowly. Ryuuku stayed, watching with Matsuda's corpse. Even in death he still loved to watch.

Once he was far enough away, Raito ran for it, just like in the anime only not full of bullets.

-two months later-

"Ryuuku, I can't stand it anymore!" Raito shouted. "Everywhere I look, all I see is Mikami and Misa doing it in front of that 5-year-old. There's no one to battle with! I'm all alone!"

"Hm… Maybe after you give me that apple you should shoot yourself."

Raito threw the apple at the Shinigami angrily. Then, grabbing the gun Mello had signed before the church incident, Raito put it to his mouth, pulling the trigger with a final click.

-DEATH-

He glanced around the dark abyss, wondering where he was. Raito turned around slowly, then spotted the black-haired man lying sexily on the bed.

"HA! Ryuuku was wrong! I do get to go to Heaven! "

"Oh, but Raito-kun, this is my Heaven."

"What do you mean?" He felt the sweat drops form on the side of his head.

"Because I am seme!" He laughed evilly, a dark glint in his black eyes. Raito screamed, in a very StarWarsy fashion, 'noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!'

-some bloody seme rape later-



"That wasn't half bad." Raito smirked. "Why didn't I let you be seme when we were lovers?"

"It's because you're a controlling bastard."

"True."

AND THEY WERE DEAD HAPPILY EVER AFTER! THE END!

-munch-