Monday morning, teachers always ask me "What did you do this weekend Noah?" I normally say "Nothin'" since I do nothing a lot, but not this weekend. Man, this weekend I did something big; like Stay Puffed Marshmallow Monster big. I was sitting on my couch with nothing to do, with nagging about "Get a job Noah!" and "Get off your lazy butt and make something of yourself!" I was seething with rage by now. I never liked it when people told me how to live my life, never took a liking to rules and regulations; so, generally, I ignored them. I never understood how someone could just nag on and on for hours about the same mundane things. Like jobs, grades, rules, and not gluing the cat to the floor. I say that people are people and we should all live our lives like we want to. After all, what would the world be without the occasional prank or theft? How could we survive Geometry without the teachers chair falling to pieces, or the pen exploding when the grades are being recorded? I say the world would be rather dull. Never the less, people still try to tell me what to do. So the whole 'make something of yourself' bit is getting pretty old. I decided to get 'even' with my mother, so I stole her car. I wouldn't total it or anything, just wanted to take a joyride, piss her off, and continue on with my life. I grabbed her keys and ran out to the Volvo. "This should be fun" I said. I revved the engine loud enough for mom to hear, and pulled out of the driveway as she ran outside screaming. I raced down the street just listening to the engine purr and grind as I accelerated faster and faster. I drove around town for a while, nothing interesting me, and decided to do something crazy. I decided now was as good a time as any other to add 'enhancement' to the world. No, I was not being an idiot. I was benefiting someone. I revved the engine. I went as fast as the Volvo would go through main streets, turning heads of all the boring people. I screeched to a halt in front of the convenience store and put on the brake. I revved the engine for dramatic effect a few times, making sure I had everyone's full attention. I let of the brake, and the Volvo started to lunge forward. It rammed through the side of the convenience store, halting right next to the sodas. I hadn't really made a plan, so I had no idea what to do now- until I saw the ATM. The ATM was beckoning me, calling me with it's no existent voice. "Puck…Come to me…take me home puck" So, I did. I grabbed it, threw it over my shoulder, and walked back to the Volvo. I grabbed a twelve pack of soda, shoved the ATM in the car, and left. The car was banged up[, and I wasn't sure how to explain the ATM to my mom, but I had no time to think now, I had to get away from here. I raced down the street, and, as if on cue, I heard police sirens. I decided to 'humor' the officers and pulled over. The officer was dumbstruck! He told me to get out of the car, so I asked "What's the problem officer?" He commanded me to get out of the car, so I asked again. He then pulled me out of the car and cuffed me. I said "Wonderful bracelets,, but silver is not my color." He gave me a look that said 'shut it, or I WILL taser you' so I shut up. He took me to the precinct, and when we arrived I said "That will be all" and he got really angry, which made me laugh. They got me a cell, and I asked if I could upgrade to the presidential suit, getting a worse look from the guards. I sat on the prison bed, which felt like nails, and laughed at my days work. Then, mom showed up.

"Oh Noah are you ok?"

"Fine ma"

"In that case, HOW DARE YOU TAKE MY CAR!" she reached through the bars in my cell and attempted hitting me until she was pulled away by the guard. After calming herself down, she walked back over to my cell. "Noah Puckerman, this is the most irresponsible, rude, morally wrong thing you have ever done. You stole an ATM! Why would you even do that? Not to mention my poor car…"

"You're pressing charges for the car?"

"Noah, I love you, but you need to learn to be less…Uncivilized. Yes, I will press charges for my car, and they are pressing charges for the ATM and the soda…and the left wall of the store."

"Well..whatever"

"Oh, Noah…" Mom left, and I fell asleep. A Little while later, a guard woke me up to tell me it was time for my trial. Since I was a juvenile and my crime wasn't absolutely horrible, they got me in quickly. I recognized the judge, and greeted him "Hey hey it's yo gabble, gabble!" He resented the comment, which made it even funnier. I figured this case would go like most other trouble I have been in. I would get a fine, maybe community service, and probably get 'grounded'. I just sat back and watched the entire case go by. Blah, blah car…. Blah nag stolen car…bothersome details… ATM stealing is wrong… Then the judge said they will have a recess for sentencing. I always remembered recess as fun, playing outside, and games. Here, it was cells, darkness, and desolation. As I was escorted out of the court room, I noticed that mom was nowhere to be seen, probably mad over the whole car thing. Oh well, her loss. Then, I was escorted back to my holding cell. I decided to make the most of a great opportunity with, yet another comment.

"Where is the paint job I ordered? These curtains will never do, much to drab! We have to order replacements!" The guard just shrugged and locked me up yet again. I waited for what seemed like an eternity and a half. It's not that hard to decide on a sentence, I thought. They had enough evidence to convict me, yet they had to mull over every little detail! Eventually, the guard came back to take me to the court room again. Once everyone was seated, the judge read my sentence.

"6 hours community service, two-thousand dollars fine for the grocery store you destroyed, and time in a juvenile detention center- duration determined at a later date due to order of guardians of this young man."

"WHAT!" I jumped out of my seat, "You can't do that! I cannot go to Juvie!"

"Sit down Mr. Puckerman!" The judge sounded convincing, so I just sat down.

I was astounded. How could I be in a juvenile detention center? I felt numb from head to toe. This could not be happening. This cannot happen. This is impossible! How will I tell my friends? What will they say?

Just then, the guard came over and took me to get my 'prison garb'. Orange jumpsuits, how wonderful, I thought. I got dressed in them, went through weapon searches, and went to dinner, and then I was loaded into a van that would take me to my new cell. The ride to the center was longer than I expected. They said we had to go out of the town to get there, but I thought it was much closer. Once there, I was shoved into my cell until morning. This one was much smaller, and had no bathroom.

"Great" I said, apparently much too loud.

"SHUT IT!" The guy in the cell next to me screamed. This was going to be a long stay, I could feel it. I went to my bed, and fell asleep. I dreamed about being free again. I knew it wouldn't be soon, but I hopped it was soon enough.

I was awoken by the sound of a military style horn, and about one hundred guys and three girls screaming at whoever was playing it. Not my dream morning, that's for certain.