Eekum Bokum

Disclaimer: I own neither the Harry Potter nor the Banjo-Kazooie franchise. It's probably a good thing, because otherwise I might have incentive to write more things that simply should not exist!

IIIII

It was a perfectly normal night in the perfectly normal neighborhood of Privet Drive. Perfectly normal, that is, until the nighttime silence was interrupted by soft chanting. The chanting slowly increased in volume until the earth shook with each word, though the inhabitants of the small suburb stayed asleep in their beds. Suddenly, a bright light flashed throughout the area before quickly dying. As the light died down, the chanting stopped, leaving absolute silence. Occupying the previously empty street were three figures. Each was rather peculiar, and certainly not something one would normally see in Surrey.

The first figure was the shortest of the trio. Instead of a head, there was a skull perched upon its pink body, two glowing eyes peering out of the sockets. The only thing it wore on its body other than a tunic – indicating that it was in fact a he – was three feathers atop the skull.

The figure next to him was the tallest by far. She – for it was a she – wore a headdress with a single feather on the back. She wore a yellow dress that looked as though it had Native American origins and yellow moccasins on her feet.

The final figure was a bear, of all things. It stood at the height of a full-grown man and wore a pair of yellow shorts and a blue backpack – indicating that it too was a he. Out of the backpack poked the head of a female red-crested breegull.

"Why Mumbo bring Humba here?" the tall woman broke the silence.

"Yeah, bone brain! What's the big idea?" squawked the breegull. Her companions winced at her volume.

"Kazooie, be quiet! There are people sleeping," shushed the bear.

"Bear right. Bird be quiet now or Mumbo make Grunty look weak like Ugger," grunted the skull-headed man.

"Alright, alright. Sheesh, no need to bite my head off, skirt boy," grumbled the bird, suitably chastised by the words of the bear and the man.

"Humba, bear, and bird need to help Mumbo to look for house number four." Seeing the look on their faces, the man hastily added, "Mumbo will explain when there."

Pleased by the man's concession, the quartet walked a ways down the street before reaching their destination. The skull-faced man walked up to the door before pulling out what seemed to be a small skull-topped staff. He quickly rapped the door three times before taking a step back. After a few moments, the door opened to reveal a tall, thin, horse-faced woman who looked like she wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep.

"Isn't it a little late for trick-or-treating? Besides, Halloween was three days ago," the woman yawned, glancing over the short man in front of her, obviously mistaking him for a costumed child.

"Mumbo no here for silly treat-trick. Mumbo here for boy," he responded, ignoring the confusion clearly displayed across his companions' faces. The woman's stance shifted, becoming fiercer. It reminded the man of a she-bear preparing to protect her young.

"What do you want with my Dudders?" she questioned, ignoring the fear bubbling up inside of her as she did so. The man, however, only looked confused.

"Sabreman no mention any 'Dudders,'" he replied. "Only tell Mumbo to get Hairy Otter. Although Mumbo still say Hairy Otter be stupid name for human baby," he continued, muttering the final part under his breath. The woman's stance relaxed slightly. She hesitated, mustering her courage before asking her next question. "What do you want with him?"

"That good question. Humba suggest Mumbo explain before Humba turn him into washing machine," threatened the other woman, causing the thin woman to jump back in surprise as she noticed the figures behind the man for the first time. Though she could now see the woman, the third figure was too far in the shadow to see any distinguishing features. She was quickly distracted from her observations by the man's response.

"Hmph. Humba no scare Mumbo. Mumbo greatest shaman in all world!" he held his head higher, obviously proud of his self-given title. As Humba began to rummage through her pockets, however, the skull-headed man quickly continued his prior statement. "But Mumbo tell Humba and horse lady anyway." He ignored the look of satisfaction on the tall woman's face and the look of shock from the horse-faced woman. He reached into his loincloth before pulling out a letter and holding it out to the thin woman. She gingerly grabbed it with her thumb and index finger, a look of revulsion on her face.

"This letter from Sabreman's brother. He give to Mumbo to give to horse lady. He tell Mumbo to take Hairy Otter back to Spiral Mountain and teach shaman magic." The woman looked up from the letter in shock before shaking herself slightly.

"Fine, I'll go get him. Just don't move," she stated quickly. She then rushed back into the house, as though she was afraid they would leave without the boy if she took too long.

"Humba see now," said the tall woman. "Alright, Humba help too," she continued. The skull-headed man quickly protested before she silenced him with a glare. "Humba no let Mumbo ruin future shaman by teaching wrong way," she firmly stated, clearly unwilling to accept no as an answer. Before the man could protest any further, however, the horse-faced woman returned, a baby in her arms.

"Here, take him and leave," she commanded before slamming the door in the group's faces. The man blinked before turning to the trio behind him.

"Horse lady rude," he commented before handing the baby to the woman beside him. "Here, Humba hold Hairy Otter," he began before he was interrupted.

"Harry Potter," stated the woman. At the man's look of confusion, she pointed to the blanket covering the child. Across it was stitched the words "Harry Potter."

"Okay, Humba hold Harry Potter," amended the man before continuing. "Bear and bird go by Humba. Mumbo need to cast spell to take back to Spiral Mountain." The bear walked over to the woman as the man began to chant. The group quickly disappeared in much the same way they had arrived, leaving no trace behind.

IIIII

AN: Hey all! I've hit a roadblock or two (or more :P) with "The Revenge of Raijinn," so I've been writing random things to get the creative juices flowing :D. Of course, such writing often gives birth to creatures that should not ever see the light of day. So I decided to put these horrific stories on Fanfiction :D! Aren't you all glad :3?

In all seriousness, though, I'm going to be putting any random Harry Potter stories that I write onto this story as a sort of 'idea dump,' if you will. I'll have different stories for each major category I write a story in (this one for Harry Potter, another for Naruto, etc.). Each story will hold all of these random ideas I write down but don't necessarily want to pursue. If enough people like them, I'll continue them with later chapters also published in the same story.

If you see an idea you like or would like to try for yourself, feel free to try! Just be sure to send me a link to your story so I can read it :P. Most of these story ideas, however, will be far weirder than this one, so I don't know how many people will want to use them...

Anyway, I'm off to write down some more crazy stories!

Pokepikachu1

雷神