I didn't want to tell them...
That I was so afraid of what was on Lyoko. All I can do is act. I did that. I acted for you, and I tried to be my bravest. You told me the world was in danger. I did my best to be brave. I did such a good job of acting that I fooled everyone around me. I made Xana think I was actually worth something.
Coveted by something that was nothing. Ugh. I shiver, thinking about it now.
Couldn't you see? That I was afraid. I couldn't come up and tell you. I wanted to prove that I could help, and now look. Look at what I've done! I'm so scared. I'm so scared! PLEASE...
I can't act anymore. I'm scared. I'm breathing hard. My heart is beating really fast. I can only see a void. The entire universe is filled with storming clouds, and I can't stop shaking. I'm scared. Someone, please...
...I'm sorry.
I ruined everything, just as it was supposed to get better. I was supposed to make things better. That was why you told me everything. That was why you swore me to secrecy. So I could make things better.
...When I was a kid, I was the same. Inwardly, I was terrified. But I acted really tough, to hide that. The kids respected me, and they saw me as a big brother. I wasn't as scared. I got older, and a little smarter. I fell in love. It wasn't scary at all until I went too far. I thought she loved me too.
No.
I got in trouble, and I learned to be more cautious. Another acting lesson learned, another school gone by. My parents? Furious. And I became scared again. I didn't show it because of my childhood reputation as a tough kid. I came to Kadic, frightened.
And then I met you, Yumi. Thank God I met you. You showed me around, showed me almost everything. Almost. I felt you hid something from me. I liked that. Could you feel that I was hiding something too? I wondered why you decided to show me. Show me everything. ...Now, I'm not so scared.
Yumi, you helped me meet Ulrich. I was jealous of you, Ulrich, because you had such a bond with the girl-no, young woman who helped me be brave. You showed me that I had to try and be subtle. Well, I learned to be a little more subtle from you. In return, I tried to goad you into action. I still wasn't successful when Xana captured me. I'm sorry for all the grief I caused you, Ulrich. You had courage...and I don't.
Ulrich introduced me to Odd. I still don't know if you're human, Odd. Ha! I found your recklessness real. You weren't afraid, ever. I was jealous of that, too. Somehow, you found a way to amuse everyone, even me. I couldn't be funny if my life depended on it. I'm acting, but you're living. I want to live like you, Odd.
Odd showed me to Aelita. You're a master of words for someone so reserved. Your timidness reminded me that everyone has something to hide. Like I do. You even look a little like me, with the hairstyle and all. I wish I could've learned a little more about you before I was taken. I would've asked why you're so shy.
Aelita brought me to Jeremie. You've done all sorts of crazy things because of the attacks Xana has instigated. You're not withdrawn at all, but I am. You're brave in your own right, pulling all sorts of stunts to finish programs, save your friends, get to the factory. Your friends should acknowledge this more so you don't lose this courage, as I have.
...all of you...
Why couldn't I be as brave as you?...