LINK TO Girl With Golden Eyes .net/s/5728015/1/The_Girl_With_Golden_Eyes
Authors Note #1": Jacob's point of view was heavily inspired by the song "Snuff by Slipknot" I recommend if you have not listened to it, to do so. The song is amazing and for those who know very little of this band most likely you know they are known to be hardcore metal but this song IS NOT. So listen to it, I guarantee you will love it at the very least like it. Some lyrics are mixed in the content. Special thanks to my wonderful Beta and wonderful friend itslikenature, you are the best BB!
Prequel To: A Girl with Golden Eyes
Jacob Black lies on his bed staring at his ceiling. He tries to ignore the immensity of his pain, a pain that comes from somewhere within his chest. He knows that it is odd because he hasn't felt any physical pain in years, ever since he was nearly killed by the newborns he's forgotten how corporal pain feels. He's been too busy with the worst kind of pain, the blistering agony of a broken heart.
His heart gives another nasty twinge that actually causes him to flinch and he puts his hand above his heart. He tries to breathe as he thinks of happier times and so Jacob lets the hands of time rewind and take him to the moments in his life he cherishes the most.
"Bella," he sighs and closes his eyes.
The memories play inside his head like a movie. All the smiles that a life mostly filled with Bella replays in his mind, and he sighs in contentment, or yearning, he's not quite sure which one it is.
He sees Bella in his strong embrace. He sees Bella looking up at him with a smile that seemed permanently attached to her face when she was around him. He feels Bella and the softness of her lips. Even now, he can still savor every kiss. He sees Bella on her wedding day. It was the day he vowed to himself to never stop fighting for her, because it was that day that he realized without a doubt in his mind that she loved him back.
"I fought in vain," Jacob barely whispers and his heart is consumed with grief and that thought brings a whole other round of memories.
Memories he chose to keep in the dark—chose not to remember. He knows all too well where this journey will take him, and he wants to stop them immediately, but it's already too late. He's trapped inside a cage in the middle of every single memory that caused him pain.
He can't do anything at all; all he can do is watch as those memories hurt him once again creating a beautiful torture.
*Flashback*
"Bella, I don't care what you are. I love you still. I always have, ever since we were children. I knew that I wanted you, for all the days of my life."
He stepped toward Bella and she embraced him back fiercely, her cold body shivering at his touch, causing him to shiver too.
"Jake, I can't do this. You're a werewolf and I'm, I'm, I'm the one thing you hate most." Bella looked up at him as he gazed down at her.
"You're right. You're my natural enemy. I'm supposed to hate you, destroy you. But I could never do that to you. You're still Bella to me. Why do you think we can be around each other and not want to destroy each other? It's a clear sign that we were meant to be together no matter what we are." Jacob pressed his nose to her neck and made his way to the side of her nose millimeters apart from her lips. Bella let down her defenses and kissed him.
They kissed for hours, in the rain right by their driftwood tree on First Beach. They kissed with all the passion both of them had within, finally surrendering to their desires, but to him it felt like minutes. No kiss would ever be long enough.
He looked into her eyes and saw everything he needed to know. She loved him back.
"Come away with me Bella. We can start a life together far away from here, forever." Jacob felt her stiffen and instantly regretted saying what he had just spoken.
Bella stepped back.
"Jacob, we can't. I can't. Edward is where I belong. I love him," she said, even to her it sounded wrong, and sounded mechanical.
"Stop lying to yourself Bella. He's not where you belong. You don't love him, not anymore!" he roared and saw Bella flinch.
"Jacob, you're supposed to be my friend. You're supposed to love me. Why are you doing this to me? You know damn well you can't guarantee me forever with you!" she yelled back clearly in pain.
"And why the hell not?" he responded.
"Imprinting. You know damn well you can imprint on anyone at any given time, and I'd be left alone for the rest of eternity! I thought you loved me enough not to want that for me," she hissed back.
"You're right, I can imprint, but I don't know if I ever will. I don't see anyone but you, Bella! It's only been you since I can remember! The better part of my life was spent loving you! I fell in love with you when I was five so for twenty years it's been only you! That is not going to go away and you damn well know it!" Jacob hissed through clenched teeth.
"I don't. And that is why I can't! That…. and I just don't love you enough." Bella screamed back but it was a lie, a vicious lie the worst kind of blasphemy.
"Save your breath Bella. All this time, I thought you'd finally admit it to yourself and to me that you love me. But you won't, so fine. I just wish you weren't my friend! I wish I'd never met you, because all I want to do now is hurt you. The way you've hurt me, but I can't even do that, because I just love you too damn much to do that to you! I just wished you had loved me enough to not hurt me either but oh well. Everything seems so very clear now. You never needed me, never needed any help. You sold me out to save yourself," Jacob said, as tears welled up in his eyes, but he refused to release them completely.
"Jacob, that's not true!" Bella screamed in agony as she tried to lunge herself into his arms but he was quicker as he took a step back and put up his hands to stop her.
"Shut up Bella. If you care about me at all, let me go. Leave, run away, and don't come back here, ever," he said with so much anger behind his words you could hear his torment and see in his face just how much pain that betrayal inflicted upon his soul.
"But," Bella tried to speak, but Jacob could not let her break him any longer.
"If you love me, don't ever let me know," Jacob said through gritted teeth.
He watched Bella's face crumble. He closed his eyes and released the tears letting them trickle down his face. He heard what he believed was a faint whisper, "It's always been you, always," carried in the wind. He snapped his eyes open but she was no longer there.
*End of Flashback*
For weeks he's wondered if he imagined it. He made himself believe that he did. But deep down inside he knew that those were the last words she spoke to him. He knew she did love him; at least she gave him that.
Jacob feels himself going under, losing the battle against sleep, or so he thinks. He starts feeling, so utterly peaceful, that a smile creeps onto his face and he feels no pain anymore. He hopes this feeling lasts forever, because he's tired of the pain, tired of the agony.
He wonders if this is how it feels to die a peaceful death, if people in their last moments feel this incredible feeling of comfort and serenity. He hopes they do. He smiles one more time, and tears of joy slide off his face.
"Bella," he whispers, with his last breath as he closes his eyes and dies with a smile on his face.
Jacob Ephraim Black died at age twenty five from a broken heart.
With the words "I'll always be waiting in the wings" etched on his tombstone.
Authors Note: How many people heard the song? What do you think of it? Another thing should I leave it here or show I make up an Epilogue where they get a happy ending?