ENGLISH TEACHER

By Alice Santiago

Walked along a man in a blue coat,

A dark colored tie as well,

Looking down, not at the ground,

But his phone, a so-called Raspberry,

Or was Blackberry the name?

Was it black as the berry, we did not see,

But he walked along confidently, still looking,

At the Strawberry phone,

Which plagued and tempted him in the class,

Disturbing and worrying my friend,

Who before asked him a question,

Blue coat answered the obvious, and once again,

She repeated it specifically and,

Was answered the same dratted reply,

People say he can't say "Cheryl",

And I believe it so he says, "Sheh-RAAL",

Many cussings and names go behind his back,

"Mr. Wanna-Know-it-all", being of mine,

And more or worse behind the label of the blue coat,

Being the student body offering of,

Everyone's admiration to the ridder of him,

Though I didn't need it, arrogant as you might say,

I sharpened my knife, polished my mace,

Prepared my poisons for the English teacher,

Who festered his infamy in school,

It's said he goes to fine English seminars,

But leaves no substitute behind,

He hedges about literature with the air of one who hates,

While gradually, slyly, quietly, spoiling the language of English and make it a name,

That stinks in the nostrils of honest men,

I'd like to ask him;

Why must we read Romeo and Juliet?

What is the value of it?, What must we analyze with,

You yapping nonsense in the background?

I'd like to tell him a bit of general Shakespeare knowledge,

Didn't you know he never graduated?

Didn't know how to spell at all?

That he is the reason that we have the word puke today?

I'd like to make him teach us this,

Make us write it modern time,

Invent a play out of it,

Make a slutty Julie, a playboy Rome,

I'd like to make favorites banned,

I'd like to get only one point off for no date instead of six,

I'd like him to fulfill his London dream,

Far from our seminary school,

But the city must stink like,

A fire-breathing, cannibalism, diarrhea diseased Pegasus's stable,

One a pig would call dirty,

I'd like to explore modern lit, like,

Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, The Hunger Games,

Why don't we?

How about you story tell about a seminar instead of,

You identifying your dead cousin's body,

One day, most dearly,

I'd like to throw his phone out the window,

Cherish the memory forever,

After finding the color of the dratted Acacia berry.