I've been away for what…a couple of months? Well, I got bored with two of my most recent stories and suddenly got the idea of randomness and Naruto. So, I'm working with it, therefore I don't own Naruto. Just my random plots!


HOW TO ANNOY UZUMAKI NARUTO!

Tell him that Sakura will NEVER love him. That's obvious enough, but does Naruto really know that?

In his sleep, dye his hair black, remove all his orange clothing and replace it with nothing but black! Next day as he walks by, scream, "Look!!! Naruto's gone emo!" Run for dear life after that!

Convince Naruto that Sasuke's gay for him, true or not. Watch the results when Sasuke so much as walks by Naruto.

Tap Naruto on the shoulder repeatedly. When he asks why you're doing it, simply answer, "I wanna see the Kyuubi and he comes out when you're mad so…" If it doesn't work…keep at it until it does.

When Naruto walks by, out of no where, scream and glomp him. Say the following sentence:

"Omg, I love you!!!!!! You're so hot- wait, you're not Sasuke…"

Steal Kakashi's porn (I suggest you be VERY inconspicuous when you do it), get it into Naruto's possession and when he picks it up…from a safe distance, yell, "EW! Naruto, you perv!"

Follow Naruto everywhere he goes, know his regular route. When he turns to ask why you're following him, say "I'm not following you." Then, follow his regular path back, with him behind you. Suddenly turn and scream really loud, "Why you following me, you stalker!"

Tell Naruto orange is a gay color. Not a safe thing to do, but it sure is fun!

When Naruto is in a pissy mood, hand him a tampon. If he asks why, say as dumbly as possible, "You might need it. I mean, it is you time of the month, right?" Next…RUN!

Go up to Naruto and say, "You'd be hotter if you were emo. Look at Sasuke after all!" When he comes out newly emo-ed, laugh right at him for how dumb he looks.

Call him Sasuke's bitch over and over again. When he turns bright red after the second or third time you called him that, laugh and say, "I knew it! You're totally his bitch!"

All of Konoha…Sakura especially…frilly dress…Naruto…and digital camera. Use your imagination on this one.

Tell Naruto Orochimaru's looking for a 'playmate' and ask if he's interested. Don't tell him what Orochimaru wants to play. (A/N: this is easily the cruelest of them all so I don't suggest this…unless you want to.)

Take a picture of Naruto cutting his hair and claim he's the next Britney Spears.

Talk Naruto into believing Sakura will like him if he does whatever you ask of him. Make him do ridiculous things all day, only to say at the end of the day, "God, you looked so dumb doing all those things…Sakura would never date you now." Then run off to show Sakura the pictures (don't forget them) of Naruto doing said ridiculous things.

Well, that's 15. I would do more if I had a little more of an imagination to work with. These are somewhat cruel but funny once you think of it. Review nicely please and say if you want anyone in particular. Sasuke's next!