Jace stood waiting outside Simon's bedroom at the Institute, trying to force himself to knock. He rocked back and forth on his heels, unsure of what to do.
He lowered his knuckles to knock, but the door swung open before he could.
"I can hear you mouth breathing out here, you know." Simon said, obviously annoyed. "You going to say what you have to say?"
"Look Mundane, you shoul-" Jace began.
"You want me to give you ideas for what to get Clary for her birthday."
"No." Jace said angrily. "I wanted to know if you had any condoms."
"Condoms." Simon laughed. "Like you would need those."
"No." Jace said, serious this time. "I actually do need them. I ran out, and it's... Y'know, Clary's birthday."
Simon's face went from pink to purple.
"You mean, you - want to - Clary and you-" Simon was having trouble forming complete sentences.
"Yeah." Jace grinned, catlike. "Man, you wouldn't believe..." He closed his eyes and rocked back on his heels, inhaling deeply.
Simon made a choking noise.
"You wouldn't think it, but Clary's a total animal. I mean, why do you think I ran out?" Jace gushed, leaning against the doorframe.
"I think I need to shut the door now." Simon said weakly.
"So you don't have any?" Jace asked, giving Simon puppydog eyes. "I'd rather not have to walk to the minute market."
"Doesn't Alec or Isabelle...?" Simon asked. "Or isn't there a rune...?"
"I assume Alec keeps his with Magnus, and Isabelle is a special case." Jace said. "And between you and me, there is a rune. But uh, Clary makes it disappear too quick."
Simon made another choking sound and hid behind the open door.
"Ah! I'll just come in and get some out of your nightstand then, thanks!" Jace said, pushing in.
"No, please don't..." Simon said, unable to stop the shadowhunter as he barged into his room.
"A nice collection here." Jace said, pulling open the bedside drawer and pulling out Simon's dirty magazines.
"I'd rather you not." Simon said, voice unsteady.
"Ah, here they are." Jace said. He pulled out the yellow box and checked the date.
"Jesus, ever hear of expiration dates? Hope they're still good." He winked and pushed past Simon out the door.
"Glad I could help." Simon squeaked.
"I'll just close this behind me." Jace said, smirking. He shut the door, but immediately came back in.
"Oh, what do you think I should get her?" He asked.
"Oh, come on!" Simon shouted. "You were shitting me the whole time!"
"Maybe, maybe not." Jace grinned.
"Well, get her goddamn underwear if you must. Stay out of my things." Simon seethed, reaching for the box. Jace held it out of his reach.
"Underwear, really? What color do you think?" Jace asked, lazily holding Simon at bay. "Does she like lace or polka-dots?"
"Give me the goddamn condoms." Simon growled, jumping up and knocking his glasses askew.
"I think my last downworld fling left a set in my drawer. They might fit Clary."
THWACK.
Jace looked at Simon, confused. Simon stared at his own hand, curled in a fist. Jace lowered the condom box.
"Ouch." Jace said, looking down at his stomach.
"I think you've said enough." Simon said. "If you respected Clary at all, you wouldn't be talking like this. Grow a pair." He spat.
"You grow a p-"
THWACK. Jace's head rebounded against the wall, his lip bleeding. Jace stared at Simon for a moment, then turned and walked out into the hallway.
"Judging by the expiration date on these, I highly doubt it's me who needs to grow a pair. And for your information, I was joking." Jace tossed the box back at Simon, who caught it.
Jace started off down the hallway, posture stiff, when something connected with the back of his skull. He whirled.
"You should use those and get your rocks off with some downworlder fling. If you try anything with Clary, I'll kill you." Simon said coldly.
Jace picked up the box, glaring at Simon.
"Maybe I will." He said quietly before walking down the hall, leaving Simon shaking in anger.
Jace took a deep breath before knocking on Clary's door, holding a wrapped package in his hand. He really wanted to take her up to the observatory again, just like the last birthday Clary had at the observatory.
He raised his hand to knock, but the door swung open to reveal Clary, eyes shining with tears.
"Go away." She spat. "It's over."
"What?" He asked. Clary opened the door wider, revealing Simon.
"Jace, I'm sorry." Simon said. "I had to tell her."
"Oh, really? I suppose you left out the part where I came to ask about her birthday present and you were such a fucking prick about it that I messed with your head, Mundane?!" Jace shouted.
"Jace. Leave." Clary said, beginning to shut the door. Jace wedged his foot in the door.
"Clary, please." He said quietly.
"No." Clary said, stepping back into the room and covering her face with her hand. Simon came to the door.
"Look, I didn't mean for her to take it like this." Simon said quietly. "I'll tell her."
Jace stepped back like he'd been burned.
"No. This is exactly what you wanted." He said venomously. "You wanted her away from me. Now you got your wish."
"Jace..."
"Here. You give it to her, you're the one who ruined her birthday for her." He said, tossing the small package at Simon then striding away.