She had killed it. Hinata felt tears spill down her cheeks as she realized what she had done. The remorse she felt effectively turned off her newly awakened Byakugan. She petted the dead cat in her lap, sobbing.
She had discovered her new talent and had been in awe of the world with those eyes. She could see everything around her. She could see pressure points that her father had spoken of and Neji had whispered that he could see with his Byakugan. Father would be so proud! Her middle warmed at the thought of making her father proud.
She had seen one of the complex's felines and had petted it unknowingly with chakra gathered in her palms. The feline died instantly from the shock to its heart.
She vowed right there that nothing like that would happen again. She was going to be a big sister. She couldn't play with her or care for her if her chakra was going about all willy-nilly. She would seal her chakra. She remembered the lessons of the pressure points and how chakra came from her belly.
Gently placing the dead feline on the ground, she stood and activated her Byakugan again. The world changed to black and white and she focused her young eyes on her tummy. She saw the cluster of points there and saw how chakra was going through her system and how she excluded the chakra through her pores.
She had to pull it in! Otherwise she could harm her new sibling and Mother or Father or Neji or Uncle! She had to make the chakra obey.
So at four, Hinata Hyuga sealed her chakra by pulling it in by pressing two points in her tummy. Her Byakugan deactivated and her pores no longer leaked her extra chakra, like all Hyuga heirs did. She later buried her first kill by the edge of the forest. She dug with her bare hands into the soft earth. The young girl vowed to protect her family against herself and that she would work harder so that she wouldn't be a danger to herself and others.
That night was the first time her father formally instructed her. Her cousin and uncle watched as she wearily dodged her father as her body adjusted to the lack of chakra. Her uncle activated his Byakugan to see what could have such exhaustion to his niece. She should be fine and keeping up with her father. Not dodging sluggishly and looking pained as one of her hit came close to him. Of course Hiashi took that as an act against the main branch and used the seal to cause him pain. His son and niece looked on in horror as they realized what the seal was meant to do.
Hinata felt sick. Would she have to do that to Neji? Why was her father doing that to Uncle anyway? She saw the horror in her cousin's eyes. She decided she would never use the seal. It was horrible. Why should they use pain? Couldn't father just have asked what her uncle was doing before jumping to conclusions?
Her body felt heavy. She felt as though she was trying to move through deep snow. She wondered if it was because she had pulled her chakra into her so deeply and poked that point on her tummy. Her father called her attention and they began the Hyuga dance again. This time however, her father hit her hard in her shoulder causing her to fall back on the floor. She rose slowly. So heavy. So sleepy.
Her father's voice dressed her down for being slow, but hoped that she would improve as they progressed through these lessons and that she would eventually activate her Byakugan soon.
She wanted to tell him she could. That she just discovered it that afternoon. But she wouldn't be able to show him because she didn't want to risk hurting him. Her chakra control wasn't good enough. She was so happy this afternoon before she killed the poor innocence cat.
She needed to improve and get used to feeling so heavy and sleepy.
.*.*.
Hinata wouldn't be able to activate her Byakugan until she entered the Academy. By then she had classes about chakra control and exercises to help her with her control. She felt more in control with her chakra and was able to activate her family's bloodline with the chakra she allowed herself.
She was four years too late to activate her eyes. Hanabi, her precious baby sister, had been able to use her eyes at the same time Hinata had the first time. Hanabi, however, did not accidently kill things with her touch and had less chakra than her older sister.
Hinata lived with the fact her father loathed her weakness. He didn't believe her to be a true Hyuga heir. His second born and his nephew from the branch were stronger than her. Her cousin hated for her weakness because it was after training to control her chakra one night that the Cloud ninja stole in and grabbed her. She was confused why her uncle was gone the next morning. The Cloud Ninja was a bad man. He wanted her. Father stopped him. Why did that mean Uncle had to go away? But Neji blamed her for it and now had taken to glaring at her and defeating her at every chance he got. It tore her up inside.
But Hinata couldn't go against her vow. She couldn't. Her chakra control was better and she allowed herself more chakra each year but if she couldn't control the amount she gave herself worked herself to the bone to be better controlling it.
Soon. Soon. She would be able to control all of her chakra and she would not hurt anyone unintentionally. No one knew she visited the small grave by the tree right after she visited the grave of her mother. No one would ever know of her failure. No one would know that she blamed herself for something that had happened to many Hyuga children when they first discovered their bloodline but never had been mentioned to her.
And soon she would be able to talk to him and she would be able to tell him how he encourages her everyday with his attitude. She would be able to be his friend and give him hugs, because that's what friends do, and tell him that as long as he believes he will be Hokage, he will.
.*.*.
When she was assigned to Team 8 Hinata was both elated and scared. Elated because the two boys that were on her team were familiar and she knew instinctively that they were going to create an amazing bond. And scared because they could get hurt because of her. She knew how much Kiba loved his ninken and she herself loved all four legged domesticated animals so she couldn't bring herself to touch Akamaru until she was absolutely sure she was in control of her chakra. She would flinch when Kiba would come up behind her and hug her out of the blue and when Shino patted her shoulder in congratulations. Her sensei noticed this but also saw that the boys that she was assigned realized that Hinata did not dislike them or their expressions of friendship and camaraderie. It seemed like the Hyuga needed to calm herself or focus before thoughtfully petting Akamaru, hugging Kiba first or patting Shino in thanks for his support. The boys just thought that Hinata liked to express herself first and thought it was a girl thing along with something possibly with her clan. So they accepted their female teammate's quirk and moved on. They worried though the most when sparring. The young girl wouldn't fight them full on and would later pound away at a log. Shino asked her in his own way why she did not wish to spar with them. By doing so one knew the team's strength as well as weaknesses and they could help each other out. As a team.
Hinata hinted at her wayward chakra and how she was worried about harming them with her family's style of fighting. Kiba gaffed and pulled her gently into a quick hug before tossing her a kunai. The boys then began to teach her a combination of her family style along theirs. Kiba insisted on it and that said their target wouldn't know what hit them. Shino nodded and added only if they practiced at it long enough and Hinata joined in with the same eagerness, happy that there was a way to find a happy medium. It wasn't like her father would care that she was ruining the family technique by incorporating Shino's and Kiba's fighting styles to her own. She was already considered a failure with the family fighting dance. She might as well try to find a way to be passable and improve so she wouldn't harm her friends and teammates.
.*.*.
She accidently witnessed his sensei healing a cut on his thumb after he had cut it with his kunai. It was the first time the Hyuga heiress initiated a conversation with one of her elders. Kakashi had been surprised. Kurenai had told both him and Asuma about her shy kunoichi and how she worried about her self-esteem. But he smiled and asked her what he could help her with. She asked about the healing technique and if was easy to learn and if he could teach her it. He nodded thoughtful and showed her the hand signs before cutting his thumb open for her to heal. The young girl tossed him a panicked look before quickly running through the signs, stumbling once, before grabbing his thumb and shoving healing chakra into the cut.
He complemented her on getting right the first time and to only use it occasional and not every time her teammates were injured. Hurts taught young ones not to do the stupid thing again. Sore muscles and nicks and cuts were teaching tools. The young girl nodded solemnly at him. He chuckled and ruffled her short locks before telling her to go find her teammates and to have some fun. She smiled at him before taking off toward the training area that he knew Kurenai took her team.
Kakashi looked down at the healed thumb and felt over it. It was the smoothest cut healing he had experienced. Hadn't even scarred like other cuts did on healers first times. He looked to over to where the young Hyuga had ran off too. He may have to tell his fellow instructor that he taught her how to heal and that she had executed like a pro the first time.
Or maybe he would do it tomorrow. He was supposed to be meeting his genin team.
.*.*.
She was so giddy. Kakashi sensei had just showed her the technique without question and complemented her on how she did it. And how he just tested her just like that with no qualms what so ever. She would practice on her own and combine her skill of making creams with that too. With the combination if she couldn't quite get the scaring to go away the cream would take care of it! Her head was full of plans and new combinations of flowers as she gathered herbs on her way to see her teammates. She would be helpful this way and maybe she could use the cream to somehow to heal when she combined her chakra with it. Maybe she would worry about that later. She had to be focused for the upcoming sparring session. She was going to include more of the Hyuga fighting dance with Kiba's ferocity and Shino's stealth. She couldn't accidently harm them by not being focused enough on her chakra control. Plus Kurenai had said something about a possible mission outside the village. She knew Kiba and Shino wanted to be able to go outside the village, she did as well, but did not wish to bring them down so she would have to be flawless so Kurenai would be confident in taking them outside the village and so she wouldn't harm Team 8's reputation.
With her mind made up the young heiress nodded to herself and reviewed the hand signs absently as she ran toward her beloved team's training ground. She wasn't going to be the weakest link and she wasn't going to let her fear of her chakra stop her from being a kunoichi!
.*.*.
Hinata whimpered and curled into herself more as her chakra swirled about her. She couldn't believe she had let her chakra out like that! But she had to because Kiba was in trouble and Akamaru wouldn't of been able to make it in time. So she released her chakra out at the man with the smirk on his face as he played with Kiba when Shino and Kurenai's backs were turned.
He thought she was down and out of chakra but she proved him wrong and ended his life when she came up in between him and Kiba and pushed her chakra into him violently. Nothing like how she had done when healing the cut on Kakashi's hand. No this was to harm the man who thought he could get away with toying with her teammate. Her friend!
She was angry and slammed more chakra into other places on his body. How dare he try to take a precious person away from her! It only took a few seconds of her forcing her chakra into his system before his heart stopped and he dropped dead. She instantly turned to Kiba to check him out and without thinking flew through the healing signs and healed the cuts had made to his neck and face.
Kiba looked at her with something akin to both awe and fear at the moment she placed her chakra pulsing hands on him. But he noticed how her chakra changed from fighting blue to cool peaceful green. He relaxed then again as the thought of this was Hinata, part of his new pack he was part of. She wouldn't hurt him. He felt Shino's Kikai bugs buzz briefly at him by his ear and he relaxed understanding that Shino was safe and his female teammate was healing up the cuts he had gained from his fight.
Hinata hummed and stepped back pleased with herself before a look of complete horror crossed her face. She looked at her hands, the man, and Kiba rapidly again and again. She backed away from the dead man and towards the camp they had not picked up and took off towards the tent.
Kiba and Shino looked at their sensei who had the strangest look on her face before she checked on Kiba and Shino herself. Kurenai sighed and smiled wearily at her charges and told them good job and to go check on their teammate. They nodded while their sensei began to take care of the dead bodies.
So that is how Hinata's teammates found her. Curled up and rocking slightly, with her chakra beginning to slow its swirling around her. The boys exchanged a look before taking a side and giving her a hug and telling them how proud they were and that they would be there for her no matter what. They understood something important had happened and they knew it was for the better. Akamaru wandered inside the tent and sat at Hinata's feet and licked her hand. She sniffed slightly and giggled at the ninken and relaxed into the combined embrace of her team.
Everything would be okay and she had just proven she could use her chakra to both kill and heal. But she had killed for her teammates and friends and healed Kiba right after with no trouble.
She noticed a slash across Shino's arm that was seeping blood out of the hastily made bandage. Hinata ran through the signs again before touching Shino on the arm that encircled her, healing the cut. His breathe hitched as he felt the cool chakra speed up the healing and seal the wound. Hinata smiled to herself and mumbled something about being glad they were safe before surrendering to a peaceful sleep.
.*.*.
They still whispered about her a few years later after war and the rebuilding of the village. Now it was about her rate of improvement and how the tossed out heiress of Hyuga was growing into her own along with how Team 8 was one of the best reconnaissance teams since their parents.
Kiba's mother grinned savagely at the talk, proud of her young pup while Shino's father smirked behind his coat collar, pleased with the way his heir was shaping up and Hinata's father remained stoic among the talk and felt pleased that his daughter was proving the damn council and himself wrong.
Their children, though, they realized their parents and clans would be proud of them, were more worried about their love lives.
Well, at least Kiba was at this juncture. Shino and Hinata were supportive of the Kiba's endeavors to engage the red headed kunoichi from Kumo in conversation, whom Hinata and Neji had fought with. Shino, well, Hinata had a suspicion that Shino was meeting with Kiba's sister on the sly. She was just waiting for her other teammate to find out. Her crush on Naruto had lessened but she still strongly admired and loved the blonde shinobi. So she was content watching her teammates and supporting them as the ventured forth into the realm of relationships.
Hinata was more at peace with herself. She understood her chakra and how it could be used at a tool both to kill and heal. While she didn't work at the hospital with Sakura , she learned basic healing jutsu that would at least stop the bleeding before getting back to hospital. She kept the words that Kakashi spoke to her long ago about cuts and bruises healing on their own because they were teaching tools. She would still run into Kakashi, who would teach her a new set of signs of a healing jutsu and cut himself just to see her reaction. After the third time of doing this, Hinata no longer gave him panicked look but instead shook her head and healed the cut.
Neither of them ever told Kurenai it was Kakashi who taught her to heal, not Sakura or Ino, while those two thought the other had taught the dark haired kunoichi how to heal.
So the young woman not interested in stealing her first crush and love back from, surprisingly, the other blonde in their group, was content in babysitting her god daughter. Kurenai's daughter had inherited her eyes but the baby girl seemed to have Asuma's attitude and unruly brown hair. The toddler was loved by all of the Konoha 11, seeing as they all felt the need to protect the new baby's future, but was doted on by Team 8 and 10.
Hinata hummed as she weeded the garden as she eyed her god daughter playing happily in the dirt. Her teammates often joked that a Hyuga babysitter was the best babysitter since nothing could escape their sight. Kiba had even elbowed her and mentioned something about starting up a family of her own so she would have more of a challenge. She had looked at him in shock then shook her head before muttering something about him having pups of his own before she would give the Hyuga an heir. Kiba had gaffed at her then had a seriously look cross his face before picking up her god daughter and doing a small spin before placing her on Akamaru. The young girl squealed in excitement and Akamaru walked in a tight circle, giving the small child a ride.
She sighed wiped her brow. A twig snapped and Hinata grabbed the spade next to her ready to defend herself and her goddaughter when her toddler god daughter clapped happily and exclaimed Mama. Kurenai grinned at her daughter and picked up her daughter. Quiet thanks were exchanged and Hinata smiled and headed to her training spot in next to the waterfall.
She stripped quickly to her underthings and released her chakra before taking her place in the middle of the pool and began to spin her chakra around her. She had found this release relaxing and combined with the hot day it winded her down after working in the garden all day. And so Hinata danced and released her chakra in excessive celebration before reining it in and releasing it again without a care in the world.
.*.*.
The council was restless, Hinata could feel it. There were encouraging bits of chakra along with hostile bits but the overall buzz of their chakra told her they were anxious. She felt like laughing. This council which terrorized her for years was now anxious about a decision they had come to dealing with her. Her cousin's chakra was neutral while her fathers was swirling in mixture of agitation, resignation, and- was that glee? Hinata stole a look out of the corner of her eye at her father who sat controlled as ever. Hinata knew that the council didn't know the true extent of her strength. They still felt she was a waste despite that she had achieved chunin the same time as her peers. Of course, taking the job had angered them. Hyuga were not to mix with those below them. Hinata had told them quietly that she had been kicked out of the Hyuga compound before and that it wouldn't bother her again to be exiled while she felt like her time was being used wisely. Her sitting around re-learning how to serve tea was not.
The meeting was called to order and the head elder asked Hinata to step forward. She did and kneeled properly before the council. There were twittering in the back ground and a pause before the elder launched into a speech about maintaining Hyuga prestige and that she was nearing adulthood that she should start focusing on more lady-like things. She heard a quiet snort from her cousin and suppressed a smile at his amusement. Hinata focused and heard the elder say she should be concerned about continuing Hyuga traditions and maintaining her and the family's honor. While being a shinobi was an honorable profession, she, as the heiress, should not bloody her hands with such matters anymore because it took her attention from her family and duty. She glanced over at her father who she could feel agitation at the last words. The elder continued to drone on and the theme continued.
Family.
Duty.
Tradition.
She felt the chakra and the emotions of the Hyuga shift as the head elder neared the end of speech, her cousin's emotions changed like quicksilver before settling back to his neutral state while her father's was shifting to resignation. The elder mentioned marriage and Hinata resisted the urge to push her chakra at the elder in a fit of indignation. This was what the meeting was about. The elder continued not noticing the way Hinata's face changed into a cool mask that she only wore were she was angry. He stated that she, as her duty, would marry whom the council had chosen as her groom. They were expected to get married within the year and Hinata hammered her face into a more solid mask.
Her actions during the invasion of Pein had made them realize that Hinata was very much a shinobi and that they need to keep her close since Hiashi had made it very clear that his daughters were not to marked with the seal in their early years and that when his daughters were leaders, it was up to them to continue the seal.
When the elder stopped talking, silence filled the compound. The council looked down at the heiress that they rejected as a child and as a young adult welcomed back into the fold with conditions. The heiress's face was blank.
The perfect Hyuga mask.
And it scared them. Slowly Hinata rose and looked at each council member before asking a deceptively smooth and controlled voice whom the counsel had decided should be saddled with her.
Her words showed that she knew what they thought of her and mask in place showed them in that moment how wrong they were about their heiress.
There was a clearing of throats and all of the council looked at the head elder who stared into the impassive eyes of the heiress and informed her of her groom.
.*.*.
She mused years later as she called for her children for dinner that her life could have end up much worse. When council announced her groom, she had laughed. She could feel her cousin's approval of her laughter while her father's emotions were slowly moving to the glee she sensed earlier.
This fueled her laughter more and she laughed harder as she realized she was going to marry her friend. The council watched aghast as the heiress laughed in their face.
She controlled herself again and smiled sweetly at the elder who told her future husband's name. She told the council that she accepted that she would be sure to have many children-puppies- to make them proud while at the same time she was sure her future husband and fellow teammate would allow her to continue her preferred profession. Hinata about faced and glided gracefully out of the Hyuga council room, down the hall, out the gate and compound and ran in her council finery to shake her teammate for not telling her earlier of his bid and to kiss him for saving her. She would tell him after kissing him that she was right. He was going to end up with "puppies" before she produced an heir for the Hyuga. He had thrown back his head and laughed and twirled her about.
She was always glad that she had saved Kiba's life because he was her friend and teammate. But know she was glad she saved his live because he was to be hers.
Hinata continued to smile contently as she watched her children, her 'pups,' begin to eat. The mixture of Hyuga eyes with Inuzaka wildness still turned heads after all these years and she just took it all in stride.
She felt her husband's arms encircle her and she no longer flinched when he would touch her like back in their genin days. She was sure to quietly tell her young children of the possibility of their chakra being too much at a time. She told them to down and focus and to call for her and she would tell them how to focus and they wouldn't hurt anyone or their companions.
Kiba kissed the side of her neck and she sighed in contentment as she leaned in her husband's arms.
Life was good. It was simple. It had its ups and downs.
But she wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.
.*.*.*.*.
Thoughts? Feelings? Concerns? This is a new style of writing for me. No clue what influenced it. Probably too much dubstep or rock. Who knows. Will go back to writing back to writing crack with She What? and Locker Conversations now. Drop by and give me a hello.
Dis: Don't own. Kishi does.
Read & Review please?