This is the product of higher chemistry classes, I wrote this after I read
the very secret diaries of Cassandra Claire which there is a link to in my
profile!
I recommend that you read them if you want to get all the jokes as they are related! They are well worth the read!
I only own this diary not the characters to which they refer, unfortunately. I am only borrowing the concept. Anyway...no more delay, here it is:
The Very Secret Diary of Shadowfax
Day one
Am v. bored. Also too pretty even for king. Spotted sexy shield maiden again today, she was wearing white. How she keeps herself clean in this hovel, I don't know.
Day two
Theoden tried to mount me again. V. tiresome. Keep telling him that I am a free sprit and won't be tied down with silly commitments. Plus still too pretty!
Day five
I think I pissed the king off, he hasn't visited me for ages! Must have realised that I am too pretty for him!
Day six
Bored again so answered an ad in the middle earth gazette. It went like this:
Tall, handsome wizard WLTM four legged companion for fun fast friendship, travel and adventure. Likes speed and loyalty.
I hope it goes well, I need a wizard to complete my accessories. Still pretty.
Day eight
Severely pissed off! Ad arrived. Is a grubby grey wizard with a peculiar pointy hat. Doesn't accessorise with me at all. I'm a summer and he's most definitely an autumn. Gah! Mustn't mope too much, will dent my prettiness.
Day ten
Have been kidnapped! Grubby wizard stole me away from wizard and sexy shield maiden who I'm convinced was going to ride me any day soon.! Alas!!
Day thirteen
Have been galloping for ages with ugly being on my perfect back. Am trying to devise a plan to be rid of him. He tried to placate me with the idea of meeting the elves, who are at least on a par of prettiness with me. It's not working! He is ruining my image!
Day fourteen
Went through the land of tree men. Am quite impressed. They are cleaner than the filthy wizard.
Day fifteen
Am not convinced I'm the prettiest any more. Am getting depressed!
Day sixteen
Delivered wizard to tall tower. Saw another wizard who at least accessorised with me. Lovely white robes matched my coat but he had ugly bushy caterpillars above his eyes. Yuck! Am leaving for elf land early, don't think wizard shall mind.
Day twenty-two
Apparently wizard minded. Got stuck by white wizard on tower. Am unsurprised, told him not to trust someone who associates with caterpillars.
Day twenty-four
Have decided to stay with elves for a while. Am treated with luxury, although strawberry bath foam and carrots are all gone. Am quite perturbed although not too much as am pretty again, yay!
Day twenty-five
Was wandering in the garden looking for carrots when came across grubby one and his herd. Quite taken by blonde elf with silver cloak. Would accessorise well, we're both summers! Will look into acquiring him!
Day twenty- seven
Came across carrot thief. Is small hairy creature in breeches. Is probably grubby ones minion. Will try to attain carrots!
Day twenty-eight
Finally got rid of the grubby one. Gave him ultimatum, said get matching outfit or else! He got all pissy about it and went away to deposit small creatures into volcano. Is taking elf with him, must follow!
Day twenty-nine
Strange behaviour among grubby ones herd. Blond elf thinks he is the prettiest. Not likely. Is obviously me!
Day thirty
V. strange behaviour in herd. Grubby one did odd trick with pointy hat. Am mentally damaged now.
Day thirty-one
Went up Cadharas. Got v. bored! Blond elf accessory walked on white stuff. Am mildly impressed. Must acquire ASAP!!
Day thirty-two
Grubby and herd disappeared into mine. Is far to dirty to even consider following. Lost elf to Grubby, am distraught! Now following the pony they left behind. Is mildly attractive! Am I becoming a pony pervert??
Day thirty-three
Am pony pervert. cough
Day forty
Pony told me much! Going to graze now.
Day fifty
Apparently grubby one fallen into shadow with fiery ex. Knew bad end would come to that one. That hat trick was too indecent!
Day fifty-one
Grazing aimlessly.
I recommend that you read them if you want to get all the jokes as they are related! They are well worth the read!
I only own this diary not the characters to which they refer, unfortunately. I am only borrowing the concept. Anyway...no more delay, here it is:
The Very Secret Diary of Shadowfax
Day one
Am v. bored. Also too pretty even for king. Spotted sexy shield maiden again today, she was wearing white. How she keeps herself clean in this hovel, I don't know.
Day two
Theoden tried to mount me again. V. tiresome. Keep telling him that I am a free sprit and won't be tied down with silly commitments. Plus still too pretty!
Day five
I think I pissed the king off, he hasn't visited me for ages! Must have realised that I am too pretty for him!
Day six
Bored again so answered an ad in the middle earth gazette. It went like this:
Tall, handsome wizard WLTM four legged companion for fun fast friendship, travel and adventure. Likes speed and loyalty.
I hope it goes well, I need a wizard to complete my accessories. Still pretty.
Day eight
Severely pissed off! Ad arrived. Is a grubby grey wizard with a peculiar pointy hat. Doesn't accessorise with me at all. I'm a summer and he's most definitely an autumn. Gah! Mustn't mope too much, will dent my prettiness.
Day ten
Have been kidnapped! Grubby wizard stole me away from wizard and sexy shield maiden who I'm convinced was going to ride me any day soon.! Alas!!
Day thirteen
Have been galloping for ages with ugly being on my perfect back. Am trying to devise a plan to be rid of him. He tried to placate me with the idea of meeting the elves, who are at least on a par of prettiness with me. It's not working! He is ruining my image!
Day fourteen
Went through the land of tree men. Am quite impressed. They are cleaner than the filthy wizard.
Day fifteen
Am not convinced I'm the prettiest any more. Am getting depressed!
Day sixteen
Delivered wizard to tall tower. Saw another wizard who at least accessorised with me. Lovely white robes matched my coat but he had ugly bushy caterpillars above his eyes. Yuck! Am leaving for elf land early, don't think wizard shall mind.
Day twenty-two
Apparently wizard minded. Got stuck by white wizard on tower. Am unsurprised, told him not to trust someone who associates with caterpillars.
Day twenty-four
Have decided to stay with elves for a while. Am treated with luxury, although strawberry bath foam and carrots are all gone. Am quite perturbed although not too much as am pretty again, yay!
Day twenty-five
Was wandering in the garden looking for carrots when came across grubby one and his herd. Quite taken by blonde elf with silver cloak. Would accessorise well, we're both summers! Will look into acquiring him!
Day twenty- seven
Came across carrot thief. Is small hairy creature in breeches. Is probably grubby ones minion. Will try to attain carrots!
Day twenty-eight
Finally got rid of the grubby one. Gave him ultimatum, said get matching outfit or else! He got all pissy about it and went away to deposit small creatures into volcano. Is taking elf with him, must follow!
Day twenty-nine
Strange behaviour among grubby ones herd. Blond elf thinks he is the prettiest. Not likely. Is obviously me!
Day thirty
V. strange behaviour in herd. Grubby one did odd trick with pointy hat. Am mentally damaged now.
Day thirty-one
Went up Cadharas. Got v. bored! Blond elf accessory walked on white stuff. Am mildly impressed. Must acquire ASAP!!
Day thirty-two
Grubby and herd disappeared into mine. Is far to dirty to even consider following. Lost elf to Grubby, am distraught! Now following the pony they left behind. Is mildly attractive! Am I becoming a pony pervert??
Day thirty-three
Am pony pervert. cough
Day forty
Pony told me much! Going to graze now.
Day fifty
Apparently grubby one fallen into shadow with fiery ex. Knew bad end would come to that one. That hat trick was too indecent!
Day fifty-one
Grazing aimlessly.