Disclaimer: All the characters are the property of Janet Evanovich, I have just taken them out to play and promise to put them back unharmed.
Thank you to my beta rangergirl1234 for the great job she did of making sense of my ramblings. Any mistakes are mine.
I watched as flames consumed yet another of my POS cars. From this distance it was quite a pretty scene with the flashing lights from the fire trucks contrasting with the flames only this time it wasn't my fault. In fact, I hadn't even been near it. My musings about toasting marshmallow and s'mores - hey it was dinner time - were rudely interrupted by Joseph Morelli, one of TPDs finest. He was my on again and off again boyfriend. At the moment we were very off-but unfortunately he didn't see it that way.
"Do you realize how much of an embarrassment you are? You are a disgrace to your family and me. When are you going to come to your senses and give this up? You should be at home cooking my dinner, keeping my house clean and raising my children like a good burg wife."
Funny, I didn't know that a person could go that shade of purple and now that I come to think of it, I was seriously starting to wonder if that vein in his neck should really be standing out like that. His voice was getting louder as he carried on ranting at me and the onlookers had turned from watching the drama on the road to the Steph and Joe show – maybe I could sell tickets and make some money. I was no longer listening at this point; I wasn't about to explain that it wasn't my car that had been targeted. He'd never understand that it had just been parked in the wrong place at the wrong time. Big Dog and Eddie had already taken my statement and then they had taken my skip down to the station to get him processed. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a shiny black SUV pull up and Lester and Bobby jumped out. I turned and started to walk towards them when Joe grabbed my arm to stop me.
"Where the hell do you think you're going?" he yelled as he yanked my arm forcefully to pull me towards him. I stumbled over an uneven place in the side walk and the next thing I knew there was a crack and blinding pain radiating throughout my arm. I immediately saw spots in front of my eyes from the pain. Joe let me go and I sat down rapidly, cradling my arm.
Bobby hurried towards me while Lester headed towards Joe, who was backing up rapidly. Lester had the Rangeman blank face on but I could feel the anger radiating from him. I took a quick second to glance down at my arm and noticed it was bent in an unnatural position. The pain was bringing tears to my eyes but I struggled not to let them fall. I glanced back up to the scene unfolding in front of me and saw that Lester was just about to descend on Joe. Eddie and Big Dog were making their way over to Joe after having witnessed what happened.
"Lester, leave him. He's just not worth it," I whimpered as Bobby knelt down beside me to inspect my arm. My voice may not have been loud but it got through to Lester. He spoke a few words to Eddie and then shoved Joe towards Big Dog. They instantly pulled Joe over to one of the cop cruisers and huddled around him with fierce looks on their faces. Lester was quickly at my side and knelt on the other side of me and cradled me in his arms. It was a comforting feeling that I let surround me and help take the away some of the pain. By this time the EMT had realized there was a problem and had come to check me over as well.
I recognized the EMT as a girl named Lizzie Caldwell. In high school she had been in the same year as me but had escaped the Burg after school to go and see what life outside the Tri-state area was like. Her arrival back in Trenton, with her declaration that she wasn't moving back to the Burg, had managed finally to turn the gossip machine towards her and away from my divorce from 'the Dick'. It had been a great few weeks for me.
I realized that Bobby had stopped talking to Lizzie and was now talking to me. I caught the last few words and heard him say "... should have it looked at". I looked at him blankly and he realized that I hadn't heard what he said. "You need to go with the EMT to the hospital and get your arm looked at". I moved slightly from my position in Lester's arms to look him in the eye. "Can't I go with you guys? You know how much I hate hospitals. Please?"
Lester's reply was cut off by a message on Bobby's phone. He read it and looked at Lester. "Zero has been shot; it's nothing serious but he's on his way to St Francis. Looks like we're heading that way anyway, so we can take Steph and make it a family outing."
By this point the pain relief the EMT had given me on an empty stomach meant I was feeling little pain and my head was spinning, so the thought of a 'family' outing to the hospital was amusing to me. I spent the trip working out the logistics of having the 'merry men' as my family and hadn't realized we were stopped just outside the entrance. Bobby opened the door and helped me out of the truck, making sure my arm was protected.
"Thanks bro," I giggled. I watched as he looked at Lester and raised an eyebrow. Lester just shrugged his shoulders.
Inside we split up and Bobby went to find Zero, while Lester waited with me while I had my arm x-rayed and a cast put on. After that we headed back to find Zero, who had just had stitches and was now having the top of his arm covered to protect them. The bullet had gone straight though the fleshy part on his arm and thankfully hadn't done any serious damage. Tank had come in with Zero, so while Bobby was getting a handover allowing Zero could be released into his care, the three of us moved into the hallway.
Tank raised his eyebrow at Lester and then looked at my newly plastered arm – what was it with the single eyebrow raise ? Obviously he hadn't heard about this evenings' entertainment. I filled him in with the story of how yet another car of mine had gone to car heaven-thanks to a disgruntled employee who had decided to firebomb his boss's car and in the process taken mine and two others with it- while Lester told him about the 'discussion' I had been having with Joe when they arrived and the resulting injury.
By the time he had finished I was standing there with four 'Merry Men' who were definitely not merry and radiating anger in all directions. From the looks we were getting I thought it might be a good time to get out. At that point my stomach growled as a reminder that it was a long way past dinner and they all looked at me. The tension reduced when Lester laughed at me and suggested a trip to Shorty's to feed the animal in me.
I sat in the back while Bobby drove and Lester rode shotgun. They were both in the zone as we drove, so I was left to my own thoughts. I was glad we were going to Shorty's. I didn't like the thought of running into Joe if we went to Pino's. I knew I had to deal with him and my mother eventually, but tonight I just wasn't in the mood. I turned my phone back on and looked at the number of missed calls. I knew at least half would be from my mother; there always were when there were flames involved, and the remainder was probably from Joe. I quickly came to the conclusion that a few more hours of denial wouldn't hurt, so I turned it the phone off again. I was the queen of denial, and on days like this it served me well.
When we pulled up there were already a couple of Rangeman vehicles parked in prime position near the door and we stopped in an empty space next to them. I started wondering if other cars moved by themselves to free up these spots when they saw Rangeman vehicles coming or if time and space warped to create extra spaces for them. I quickly decided either the drugs I had taken for my arm were affecting my mind or I had been watching too many sci-fi marathons with Dougie and Mooner. Lester opened the door and lifted me out of the SUV, then slung his arm over my shoulders to guide me into Shorty's.
The table at the back was already filled with Woody, Hector, Hal and Cal, so Tank and Lester pulled another table and some chairs over while Bobby ordered extra pizza and drinks for us. Cal and Hal were telling Zero that he needed to move quicker and maybe he was getting too old to be out in the field. Since they were both older than him he retorted that in that case they should be in a nursing home and he looked at Hal as he pointed out that at least he hadn't been shot in the butt. Hal was never going to live down the fact that a month earlier a bullet had ricocheted off a wall behind him and hit him in the butt. He'd escaped pretty much unharmed and only had trouble sitting for a few days after. This reminder caused the rest of the table to laugh and poor Hal to go red. I always liked being with the Merry Men on nights like this- watching them laugh and joke with each other and feeling a part of the group. They didn't make me feel inadequate or a failure like some people did – my mother and Joe came to mind. I noticed Hector ask Lester something in Spanish and whatever Lester said in reply caused Hector to get a grim look on his face. Lester shook his head and said something else that caused Hector to smile. It was not a nice smile and I wished I spoke Spanish so I would know what had been said.
The waitress arrived with our food and drinks, almost dropping them over Tank when Lester smiled at her. His smile wasn't quite as devastating as Rangers, but it was still able to stun any female within range. I had decided a long time ago that this was a required Rangeman trait, being able to stun with a smile at twenty paces. As soon as she sat the pizza down we all grabbed a piece. I hadn't eaten since lunch and with everything that had happened I was now starving. I took the first bite and closed my eyes, enjoying the flavors and the texture of the delicious pizza. I gradually realized that it was suddenly quiet around me and I opened my eyes to see the guys staring at me with pained expressions.
"Beautiful, are you trying to kill us?" Lester groaned. I grinned at them and took another bite, trying not to moan. The conversation picked up again as Hector told the rest of us about the installation that Woody and he had been doing and how the owner's wife had been trying to flirt with Woody until Hector had wrapped his arm around him and told her that they were together. This caused roars of laughter around the table until we realized that the rest of Shorty's had stopped what they were doing to look at us. We finished the pizza and I ordered dessert to go while the guys paid. We made our way to the doors and back into the SUV. Lester and Bobby drove me back to my apartment and as we pulled in to the spot by the door I noticed that the light was on in my apartment. I was pretty sure I had turned all the lights off prior to leaving so I scanned the lot. Sure enough, I noticed Joe's truck parked in the corner by the dumpster. After my earlier run in with him I had no wish to see him alone. I had never seen Joe so out of control as he was earlier and now, if I were honest with myself, I was scared of him. If he would break my arm in front of two of the Rangemen, what would he do if we were alone?
"Hey Beautiful, since the boss is in the wind at the moment, why don't you stay on seven? Or if you want company I'm sure I can find space in my bed for you," Lester suggested as he waggled his eyebrows at me. This was quickly followed by Bobby hitting him around the back of the head and me laughing at his pouting. "Well, I guess that's ok. I mean, I think I'll stay on seven. It's probably safer for you," I chuckled. "I do need to get Rex and some clothes though."
Bobby called Woody and Hector and explained the situation and they soon joined us. The guys escorted me up and started to open the door for me. The door was flung open and an angry Joe was standing there looking furious.
"Cupcake, where the hell have you been? And what are you doing with these thugs?" He yelled as he reached out to grab my good arm. By this time Lester had pulled me back and Hector had moved in front of me, so he grabbed Hector instead. The next thing Joe knew he was on the floor with Hector and Woody standing over him.
"I could ask what you are doing breaking and entering. This is my apartment Joe and the only thug around here is you." I yelled back as I headed into the bedroom with Bobby to pack for my stay at Haywood. Even though Bobby had seen me in various states of undress when he treated me I still felt uncomfortable with him going through my underwear. When I came back out Joe was sitting on the couch with Hector and Woody standing guard. Lester was holding Rex and my cookie jar.
"This is your last chance Cupcake, nobody is going to want you after you have finished whoring yourself to these thugs. I bet that when they find out how boring you are in bed they won't keep you around very long," he sneered.
Hector and Woody looked at me and I shook my head. "He isn't worth the effort," I said as I walked to the door. Lester followed me down to the SUV, carefully placing Rex and the cookie jar on the seat and helping me in. We were followed by Hector and Woody who were escorting Joe, and Bobby who was carrying my bag after having locked up my apartment behind them.
As they reached Joe's truck I watched as Joe suddenly took a wild swing at Woody, who easily managed to dodge the fist coming towards him. The next thing Joe was on the floor twitching and Hector was smiling, stun gun in hand. "See, I did not hit him, angelita". I smiled at Hector as he and Woody picked Joe up and 'helped' him into his truck while Bobby put my bag in the back of the SUV. After making sure that Joe was 'comfortable', we headed back to Haywood.
By the time we pulled into the underground parking garage, the effects of the drugs I had been given earlier were starting to wear off and my arm was throbbing. Bobby noticed that I was in pain and while the others took me and my belongings to the seventh floor he headed off to get me some pain relief. Lester placed my cookie jar and Rex on the kitchen counter while Hector placed my bag in the bedroom. Hector helped me into the kitchen and then bent down to give me a kiss on the forehead then he and Woody headed back down to the control room on five.
I left Lester in the kitchen while I went to change, raiding Rangers drawer for one of his shirts. The lingering smell of his Bulgari on it made me feel warm and safe. I opened the bedroom door to see Bobby and Lester sprawled on the couch, watching the TV. I stood watching them for a while before Bobby realized I was there. He smiled at me as he stood to escort me back to bed, making sure I was comfortable before handing me a couple of pain killers. "They have a mild sedative, so they should help you sleep," he explained.
By this time Lester had made his way into the bedroom. "Are you sure you don't wan t me to stay Beautiful? I can protect you from monster that go bump in the night," Lester suggested with a grin.
"The only thing likely to go bump in the night is you Santos," Bobby said with a laugh. They both gave me a kiss on the head and let themselves out of the apartment. I snuggled down, relaxing into the pure bliss that was Rangers bed and drifted off to sleep.
I woke to find myself wrapped around a hard, warm, naked body with my head resting on a muscular chest and my plastered arm lying across it. I looked up into the chocolate brown eyes of Ranger and smiled. "What happened, babe?" he asked, motioning towards the arm across his chest.
"Joe," I replied. The arm holding me tightened around me and the blank look dropped down, but I knew him well enough to sense the anger behind it. I wanted to live in a state of denial for a while longer and make the most of being wrapped in Rangers arms, so I started placing open mouth kisses on his chest and up towards his neck. The arm around me gradually loosened and I found myself rolled over on my back with Ranger leaning over the top of me. "We will be talking about the arm later Babe, but I think it can wait awhile. We have other things to 'discuss'." While he was talking his hand had found the bottom edge of the shirt I was wearing and had worked its way under it. His fingers were slowly moving up and down my hip, gradually moving higher with each up stroke. I felt myself melting into the touch, oblivious of everything else. Gently, he reached just under my breast and then moved up the side. I moaned while making my chest thrust up to try and make contact with him. He smiled and leaned in to kiss me, his tongue requesting entrance to my mouth. I freely opened and felt the heat flow through my body and concentrate in my core.
Unfortunately, the ringing of Rangers phone broke the moment. He turned from me to look at the ID on the screen and moved into the lounge to answer it. My eyes followed the well sculpted body. With Ranger now out of the room, my brain could function properly and it immediately connected with my bladder. I sat up to go to the bathroom and the movement and subsequent pain in my arm caused me to draw in a breath. I carefully finished getting out of bed and headed into the bathroom. I finished cleaning up and did what I could with my hair. Unfortunately, my arm was hurting too much to brush it or tie it back properly so I decided that was the first challenge for the day after I had taken the tablets Bobby had left me and eaten some breakfast.
Ranger had obviously phoned Ella as since breakfast was waiting for me. I lifted the lid to find blueberry pancakes covered in syrup and a large spoonful of cream on top. "That stuff will kill you Babe", Ranger commented.
"Better to die happy than be old and grumpy living on twigs and leaves," I retorted. While I ate breakfast, Ranger headed for the bedroom, reappearing ten minutes later dressed in a Rangeman uniform. "We need to talk Steph, but I have to sort some things out first downstairs. I'll meet you up here at 1300 hours for lunch," he announced as he quickly bent down to kiss my forehead and headed out of the apartment.
I finished my coffee and allowed the tablets I had taken to work their magic. I thought about what had happened in the last twenty-four hours. I was sure we would be discussing Joe when Ranger came back upstairs. Thinking about Ranger reminded me of something important. I was sure Ranger hadn't been due back from wherever he had been for another month. I wondered what was he doing back, and more to the point, what had we being doing this morning. OK, I knew what we had been doing and where it would have probably gone if we hadn't been interrupted, but he had already told me just before he left on his last mission that we couldn't get involved and I needed more than he could give me. He reiterated his stance that he wasn't cut out to be relationship material. I was sure that was also on his list for the 'lunch talk.'
As the day was already going downhill, I decided to check my phone. If I was lucky the calls and messages from last night would have disappeared. As it was, I wasn't very lucky and my mailbox was full. I guess I should have known better.
"Stephanie Plum this is your mother what do you think. ..",
Delete,
"Cupcake..."
Delete,
"Stephanie, how could you do this to Joseph ..."
Delete.
Fifty seven deleted messages later, I had cleared all the calls from Joe and my mother and I knew I wouldn't be getting pineapple upside down cake for a while. I wondered if my mother had started ironing the curtains yet and how many trips she had made to her secret stash in the cupboard.
My musings were interrupted by a knock on the door. As it opened, Bobby peered around it. "Just checking that you were suitably dressed before we came in," he explained.
"And if I wasn't?" I asked.
"All the more reason to come in," chuckled a voice behind him. I should have known that Lester would be there as well. It was rare to find one of them without the other. They were soul mates. Over the years they had seen a lot of terrible things and been through a lot together, so they understood each other like no one else could. They would go out on their nights off and party hard, usually picking up women for the night, but neither was looking for a long term relationship. They were also couple of my closest friends and they treated me like a little sister- always ready to help when I got into trouble. I had lost count of the number of times Bobby had patched me up, and the number of times he and Lester had been there for me when something had gone awry with one of my skips.
Bobby checked my arm and covered it so I could take a shower. Since the tablets had taken effect I could move it enough to wash myself and shampoo my hair. Lester had volunteered to help me with my shower, but I had laughed and told him I could manage. I wrapped my hair in a towel and found another one to dry off with. I wasn't going to be chasing skips like this, so I put on my Rangeman uniform. At least I could do some searches and make my self useful. My hair was a mess but I knew Lester would help me with that. Who knew that a badass mercenary could be so good at doing hair? Previously when I asked him about it, he reckoned it was because he had so many sisters. I reckoned it was the practice he got doing Bobby's cornrows.
Lester dried and brushed my hair while they told me about the phone calls that the control room had received from Joe and my mother looking for me. In the end, Tank had taken the calls and told them that they hadn't seen me this morning. This was technically true because although they knew that I was in the building, they hadn't actually seen me. I also knew that my mother and Joe wouldn't stop calling until I spoke to them so I sat between Lester and Bobby on the couch for moral support and called my mother. My mother usually went shopping first thing in the morning. It allowed her to get the best produce and a good start on the latest gossip. I hoped that she wouldn't be back yet. Thankfully, I was in luck when my grandmother answered the phone. She had heard what had happened and offered to shoot Joe for me. After hopefully persuading her that it was not a good idea to shoot a police officer, Joe's number. My luck was holding out as his phone went straight to voicemail. I reminded him that we were not in a relationship, and hadn't been for a couple of months, and told him to leave me alone. At least now if anyone asked I could say I had called them.
I looked at Lester and Bobby who were both grinning at me. "What?" I questioned. I always got worried when they had that look.
"We could always help your grandmother hide the evidence, Beautiful," Lester said with a smile.
"Just remember what she could do to you," I replied with a smirk as I watched them both shudder at the thought. It was amazing that these men who had seen some of the worst that the world had to offer were scared of my grandmother.
Zero and Woody were on the monitors when I went into the control room. Lester and Bobby had headed off to do surveillance on a warehouse that a skip had been rumored to visit. They were due to take over for Vince and Binkie in half an hour. After comparing injuries with Zero, I headed to Tanks' office to let him know I was there and to see if there was anything he wanted me to do before I headed to my desk to start running searches. My inbox was full of requests and most of them had Rodriguez's name on them. I still hadn't met the man, but I wanted to, simply to find out why he couldn't do some of his own searches like the others did.
The first two were relatively easy; George Allen and Daniel Conroy. They had decided to hold up a local deli and when the police had arrived they had decided to try shooting their way out. I guess they were playing in their own version of Jesse James does Trenton I suppose. How they had made bail initially was questionable, but someone had put up their bond and while they were out waiting for their trial, they had decided to have another go at holding up a liquor store and had shot the store owner. Luckily he had survived but they were now FTA and it had fallen to Rangeman to find them and bring them in. I had gone to school with George and Daniel and knew that Daniels' parents had a cabin in the Poconos. He always went on about it and how good the skiing was. I reckoned there was a fairly good chance they were hiding there so I printed what I had and went to talk to Tank.
I knocked on his door and a gruff voice called "Come in to my lair Little Girl." I chuckled and went in to find Tank hidden behind a stack of papers. When I had first met Tank, I had honestly been scared of him. It had been during a 'redecorating' job and he had just thrown a man out of a third floor window. As I got to know him, I found that although he showed a tough persona to the world he could be a kind and gentle man. He, along with Bobby and Lester, were some of my closest friends. I have to admit to myself that in my dreams sometimes the three of them became so much more. Well, what girl wouldn't have fantasies about such sexy looking guys?
I gave him the paperwork that I had printed out and told him about the cabin, suggesting with a smirk that maybe Lester and Bobby should drive up there and do some surveillance. Being a Friday I knew that they would have plans to go out clubbing and sitting in the cold in middle of nowhere wouldn't be their idea of fun.
"Babe, you are an evil woman." I turned to see the luscious body that the rich timbered voice came from and reached up to rub my neck from the tingle I felt. My eyes were reward by seeing Ranger standing in the doorway with the corner of his mouth lifted, which I knew was his definition of a smile. Tank filled him in on what I had discovered while I stared out of the window at the snow that was starting to fall. A part of me had always liked the snow; for a while it made everything look clean and fresh. But the rest of me hated the thought of the cold. Knowing my luck, before long I would find myself with wet feet and skin soaked to the bone, courtesy of some skip. It also reminded me that Christmas was not far away and with that thought came the nightmare known as Christmas dinner with my family. I could see it now, my dad sitting in his chair trying to watch the TV with the sound turned right up, my mother with the help of the 'special' bottle in the cupboard making dinner with Valerie, Angie sitting quietly like the good Burg child while Mary Alice galloped around, pretending she was a horse. This would be topped off with Albert trying to look after Lisa, making sure that she didn't crawl where she shouldn't. Then there was my grandmother. We had been shopping for Christmas presents at the mall when she had seen an elf outfit in Victoria's Secrets and her eyes had lit up. I had dragged her away before she could buy it, but the thought of her turning up at Christmas dinner dressed like that was almost enough to give me nightmares. Truthfully, the perverse side of me would have loved to see the expression on everyone else's faces.
I was brought from my thoughts by a pair of hands resting on my shoulders and I stepped back into Ranger's body. His arms came around me and I could feel his breath in my hair; it was a feeling that I wanted to hold on to.
"Babe, we think sending Bobby and Lester up there is a great idea but we think they might need some company, so Tank and the two of us are going to join them."
As soon as my brain engaged and I realized what Ranger had said my mouth opened and everything rushed out. "What? I can't go! What about my arm? Where are we going to stay? Isn't it going to be cold? What am I going to do with Rex?"
I could hear Tank behind me and felt the vibration through my body and realized that they were both laughing at me. I turned and stepped away from Ranger and gave them both my Burg glare which just caused them to laugh more. I channeled my inner mature persona and resorted to sticking my tongue out at them.
"Calm down Babe. Rex can move into the break room here where Ella can look after him. Bobby will be there to look after your arm, and Rangeman owns a cabin nearby that we can stay in which has a big fireplace." "And," he added with a raised eyebrow to Tank, "I'm sure we can find other ways of keeping you warm if all else fails. "
A knock on the door signaled the arrival of Bobby and Lester. They had not only managed to pick up the skip they were waiting for but also an old favorite of mine, Billy Johnson, who I had been planning to go after this morning. He had a thing for flames and had been caught several times because he was always stupid enough to hang around and watch the results of his handiwork. I couldn't understand how he managed to get bail each time. Maybe they were worried he'd burn down the jail. Previously when I had tried to apprehend him he had been responsible for one of my POS cars going to the car graveyard in a ball of flame. This time he had been trying to set fire to wooden crates outside the warehouse when the skip Rangeman was after had shown up. The two men had been so busy fighting that they hadn't noticed they had company until they both found themselves on the floor and handcuffed.
Ranger updated Bobby and Lester with what I had found and the plan for the five of us to go up to the cabin and investigate. Bobby and Lester grinned and high fived each other then Lester turned and waggled his eyebrows at me. "We are going to have so much fun Beautiful!" Ranger and Tank did their silent communication thing and Tank hit Lester up the side of the head. "Santos," Ranger growled, "I expect some work out of you. This is not a holiday."
"Sure Boss, but all work and no play makes Lester go crazy." I was sure he was already crazy, but a snort behind me, which sounded like it came from Tank, made me think others agreed with me. Lester chimed in, "I'm hurt, Beautiful," which made me realize that I had said it out loud.
"A good kind of crazy, of course." I added as I gave him a smile and a quick hug.