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The Jumbled Thoughts Of Fury And Pain
"Does the whole school know?"
"No, just Bex, Liz and me. Mom explained all that after you got accepted. She-"
"So, I'm Gillian Gallagher's descendant. So that's why they let me in."
"Macey, that's not-"
"True?"
It's all been a lie, everything's been a lie. Those words swam around in my mind as I pushed passed the marching band and ran.
When I was eight, my father took away my favorite stuffed animal. When asked him why he told me that the more attached you became to someone or something you were more likely to get hurt when it went away. The more you want something to be false the more excuses you'd make for it. I never understood what he meant until then.
When your father wants to become president you get used to the politics which means if you don't want to get crushed, you can't be naïve. So I grew up, fast. I learned to expect the worst from people and to trust few. I learned to deceive people before they deceive me. I built walls and hid behind a tough girl façade so I wouldn't be like one of the people that I used to see every day. It was the only way I knew I was going to survive this world.
When I first arrived at Gallagher I thought that I had to stick to my act. That was until I realized they weren't dirty politicians, they were girls, my sisters. I felt safer and more at home than I ever had. It was then when I let my mask fall because I thought that I finally found people I could trus, people would wouldn't lie ro met.
In the moments after I heard Cammie's words, I couldn't even begin to describe what I was feeling. At first it was this sharp pain like I had been kicked and punched in the stomach repeatedly but then it stopped and was replaced with anger and fury. I was furious at Bex, at Cammie and at Liz for keeping it from me. I was furious with Ms. Morgan for letting me in the Gallagher Academy. But I was the most furious at myself for believing them, for trusting them, for basically setting myself up to be hurt.
My mind was a jumble, my vision was blurry and I was panting but I didn't stop running. I kept going until my knees gave out and I collapsed on a patch of grass. I noticed that my legs were numb and I could barely breathe but I suspected that it wasn't just from the sprinting. When my vision cleared I noticed that it was pitch black except for a flickering street light and the stars. I couldn't help but look up at the twinkling stars and think.
Some rational part of me knew that they did it for a good reason, that if I gave them a chance to say something I'd understand. But I wasn't ready to see things from their side just yet.
I needed to get away, I needed to think. That's when I knew where I was going. I knew they'd find me eventually, that where I was going would only be a temporary escape. But I also knew that it was some place where I could let my rage and heartache die down and reflect on everything. It was the only place I knew that when they came for me I'd have my thoughts clear and my inner questions answered.
AN What do you think? This is dedicated to SurfingCountryGirl2 because she loves Macey and I couldn't help but think of her when I was writing this. Thanks for reading and please drop a review. :)