Scott Pilgrim X Mass Effect
By One Winged Angel 666
Prologue
Note: Told through Scott Pilgrim's perspective
I was scared like god-knows-what when I was walking down a long hallway, being escorted by two soldiers that claim to work for Cerberus. "So," I said to the soldiers, "where are you taking me?"
"To the Illusive Man," said one of the soldiers.
"But why," I asked. "I didn't do anything wrong here!"
"You'll see when you get there," said the other soldier.
I was then led to an empty room, where the soldiers had me go inside some circle. I had to wonder, how can I meet this 'Illusive Man' if they just led me to a dead end? As I stood in the circle, suddenly yellow, holographic squares started to appear from the floor below me, as I then saw a large room containing what looked like a red sun... planet... giant sphere thingy. In front of it, sitting comfortably and calmly on his chair, smoking his cigarette, was a strange, handsome-looking man, staring at me with his bizarre, glowy, synthetic eyes.
"You must be Scott Pilgrim, I assume," the creepy man said to me.
"Are you the Illusive Man," I asked. "Why am I a hologram and not seeing you in person?"
"First of all," said the man, "yes, I'm the Illusive Man, leader of Cerberus. Secondly, we're not meeting in the flesh due to security measures built to keep me safe."
"Why was I warped into outer space," I asked. "Why was I brought here? And what does Cerberus even do?"
"What I should worry about," said the Illusive Man, "if I were you is when I am rather than just where I am. You're in the year 2185, the future. Cerberus is my organization, dedicated to elevating humanity to the top by any means necessary. We are a pro-human organization. But never mind us, as we should discuss you."
"Come on," I said. "I'm just some 24-year-old slacker who comes from the 21st century! There's nothing special about me. So why bring me here, and why kidnap Ramona Flowers, my girlfriend, and use her against me, when the both of us have nothing to do with you?"
As the Illusive Man took a puff of his cigarette, he then continued, "You're here because we know about your potential. According to your dossier, you battled and defeated seven of Ramona's evil ex-boyfriends, conveniently named 'The League of Ramona's Evil Exes.' That's why we spent six-billion credits - the same amount as when we brought back a soldier by the name of Commander Shepard from the dead - to build a time-machine, so that several of my men can bring you here to me."
"But why Ramona," I asked. "Why kidnap her?"
"We're sorry for the inconvenience," replied the Illusive Man, "but we had to bring you here by any means necessary. Just in case you refused to come, we had to kidnap and use your girlfriend against you. As for you, I've brought you here because I thought I could test and develop your capabilities, so that I can see them for myself."
"How can you," I asked. "Are you going to pit your low-level thugs against me?"
"You're too powerful even for my soldiers," replied the Illusive Man. "That's why I'm going to pit you against thirteen of the galaxy's most powerful warriors."
"Thirteen warriors," I asked.
"You heard me, Scott," replied the Illusive Man. "They're all led by the thirteenth member of the group, the man my men and I brought back from the dead, Commander Shepard, captain of the Normandy 2, which I built for him. I'm sending you to fight Commander Shepard and his squad, so that I can test and develop you into even more of the ultimate fighting machine you already are. After all, you did defeat Ramona's evil exes ending with the seventh and most powerful of them all, Gideon Graves. Why not battle Shepard and his squad?"
"But why," I asked. "Is it to turn me into some ultimate super-soldier that you can use to conquer the galaxy?"
"In a sense," said the Illusive Man, "yes. We know all about you. Another reason was because Shepard and his squad betrayed me by destroying the Collector Base, which we needed to combat the Reapers. We thought that by pitting you against them, not only would we turn you into what we've always wanted you to become, but we'd also get our revenge on Shepard for betraying my organization."
"Like Hell I will," I responded cruelly. "You do things 'by any means necessary,' right? As in kill innocent people just to get what you want?"
"Our methods are extreme," replied the Illusive Man, "that's true. Some consider us a terrorist organization. That's why Shepard and his squad decided to resign from and turn against us. We brought him back, and yet he pays us back by leaving us. All the more reason to bring you here."
Suddenly, a holographic image of Ramona Flowers appeared in-between the Illusive Man and I. She was sitting on her knees, her arms tied behind her back while her eyes were covered by a blindfold, as she said, "Scott, is that you?"
"Ramona," I cried.
"Help," cried Ramona.
"You will help us exact our revenge on Commander Shepard," replied the Illusive Man, "or we will kill Ramona."
"As I said before," I said, "Ramona and I have nothing to do with this!"
I then saw a series of red lasers being aimed at Ramona's forehead, as I could tell that some of the Illusive Man's soldiers were about to kill her. With no other choice, I reluctantly said, "Give me the locations of Shepard and each of his squad-mates."
"No need," replied the Illusive Man. "Two years ago, we lured a group of Alliance marines to be eaten alive by a thresher maw, via a distress beacon, just to see the immense killing-potential of that giant space-worm. We thought we'd do the same thing with Commander Shepard and his squad, by using another Alliance beacon to lure Shepard and his squad out into the open long enough for you to attack them with whatever you used against those seven evil exes. I'll have my team of soldiers escort you to a nearby uncharted planet and plant you and a distress beacon there. However, I must warn you, once you're on this planet, there's no turning back. Another thing I must warn you about, Shepard and his squad managed to survive the final suicide mission against the Collectors, making them several times more powerful than even your girlfriend's exes. Some are skilled with guns, others either biotics or tech. All, however, cannot be taken lightly."
"Did you say 'guns, biotics, and tech,'" I asked. "I don't even know what biotics is! They even have guns and techno-gadgets, for God's sake! What am I supposed to use against them?"
"Your wits, strength, and every other ability you used against Ramona's exes," replied the Illusive Man. "Unless you want Ramona to die in front of your eyes, you either punish Shepard and his squad for treason against Cerberus, or die trying. I have incredible confidence in your potential, and that you'll push them beyond the limits."
The Illusive Man and the room he was in would disappear around me, and I would be back to the empty room again. "Come with us," said one of the two soldiers behind me, as I was escorted out of the room and to a space-shuttle in the station's port-room.