Disclaimer: I don't own it, and that may be a good thing, because if I owned Harry Potter, well....
When Lily and James died, I knew that something had gone wrong. Obviously something had gone wrong, but I meant with the story. Something was not right. You, Sirius Black, would never betray your best friends. And yet you were taken to Azkaban, and how I hated you. How could you? I don't think I ever really recovered.
But then, twelve years later, the truth was revealed, and we were allowed less than two years to start over. I know that you forgave me for blaming you, and I forgave you for suspecting me, but there was still tension in the air. It was still awkward, making love to you, when the only things in the back of my mind are thoughts of what if's and maybes. What if you were only with me because all of those years in Azkaban drove you to a state of lonliness unimaginable even by those who are like me, who suffer from lyncanthropy, and you were just craving physical contat? What if you didn't love me? But soon I put those thoughts away. We were together. Fuck the reasons why.
I'll never forget that Christmas. That was when you proved all of my worries wrong. You were back, and you loved me more than ever. And you showed it. The look on Albus's face when he walked in on us was priceless. It was sort of a mixture between surprise, happiness and disapproval. At least someone was glad to see us back together and happy again, though I don't think he much liked our behavior on the couch. I didn't care, and you sure as hell didn't give a fuck. You never did.
And Harry. Oh Harry. He was so happy to finally have family. God Sirius, why did you have to leave? It was terrible the first time, because I knew that you were still alive, and I knew I still had a chance of seeing you again. Now, you're gone. Oh my God you're gone. The house is so empty without you here.
My heart and life went with you when you fell. I can't even try to be angry with you when Harry sits with me when we're alone and just starts to cry his heart out. Emotions don't seem possible anymore. Emotions aren't. I can't even tell you how much I love you each night when I lay down to go to bed. Though I never sleep anymore. And every night it's the same thought running through my head. I never got to say goodbye.