A/N: Hi! Omg...this is my first fanfic...I will welcome any reviews...even flames :). So please review and tell me what you think.

Disclaimer: I own nothing...even the plot is based on the game of clue hangs head in shame.

Chapter One:

Chess, Boredom, and Dr. Suess



It was a dark and stormy....uhhh...morning. It was the second week of Christmas break. Hogwarts was almost deserted. A crack of lightning flashes momentarily lighting up the common room to reveal Harry and Ron absorbed in a game of chess.

"I'm bored," said Ron. Harry looked up at Ron with a blank expression on his face.

"I'm....sorry?" he replied. Ron looked at Harry like he was crazy.

"But aren't you bored!?!?!?!?!?!" Ron demanded as he grabbed Harry's robes and shook him violently. Harry was dazed and confused. As Ron shook him, he became violently sick and barfed on Ron. Ron, disgusted, pushed Harry back on his couch and ran off to the bathroom.

"Ugh!" Harry groaned as he hit the couch. "I'm bored."

Just then, Fawkes dove in the window and crashed into Harry's head.

"Ow," Harry grunted. "Hmm, a note," he remarked looking at two letters tied to Fawkes' leg.

At that moment, Ron emerged from the bathroom with large, fuschia stains on his robes. Harry stared at Ron's robes and disgruntled face with a look of confusion.

"Funny, I don't remember eating grapes," he stated monotonously. "Oh yeah, we got some little note deal type things from the big guy." He handed Ron his note from Dumbledore and opened his own. Written on the note, in Dumbledore's loopy handwriting was:

Harry, report to my office immediately.

He looked up at Ron and saw his face reflecting his own thoughts of anxiety.

"Darn it, knew I shouldn't have given one of Fred and George's creations to the house elves," Ron groaned as he slapped himself on the forehead.

"Let's go then," Harry breathed, "and by the way, Hermione would be very disappointed in you right now."

Ron cried while they walked to the office, causing him to walk into a statue of the Cat in the Hat.

"What the bloody hell is that?" Ron exclaimed in pain as he held a hand to his now bloody eye.

"Damn Dr. Suess. Just keep walking," Harry retorted.

Harry and Ron finally reached the statue of the gargoyle, when they realized they didn't know the password.

"Droobles Best Blowing Gum…..erm…..Chocolate Frogs.….Bertie Botts Every Flavored on, man!!!!!" Harry pleaded with the inanimate object.

Ron was pounding his head against the wall. "Stupid old wanker changing his friggin' password every five seconds!!!!!!!" At this, the gargoyle sprang aside to reveal the staircase. Ron looked surprised at this. "Oh...okay....that was...odd" he looked at Harry.

"Shall we Milady?"

This earned Ron a punch in his already bloody eye.

Harry was mumbling inaudible things as he ascended the staircase. Ron could only catch smidgens of what he was saying. "git....stupid....queer....bloody....damned Dr. Suess…" Ron just shook his head and kept walking.

Harry knocked on the large wooden door before entering to see Hermione, Ginny, Fred and George, Sirius, Remus, and Hagrid were sitting on the various couches. Draco was chained to the wall with an apple in his mouth as he violently fought his binds with a look of pure fear in his eyes as Hagrid looked at him lovingly. Ron broke the odd silence first.

"What the bloody....?" But before he was finished Hermione sprang and slapped her hand over his mouth.

"Language, Weasley!" she said before skipping back to her seat.

Harry and Ron followed Hermione back to the couch and flopped down between her and Ginny. Dumbledore coughed to get everyone's attention.

"Harry, Ron, so nice of you to join us. Please have a seat."

Bewildered, Harry and Ron stood up and sat down again.

"Well, now that everyone is here, I'm sure you are all wondering as to why you have been called here. Well the truth is...I am bored out of my mind!!! And to make myself happy, you shall all partake in my game. Mwahahahaha.....oh...sorry." He gave a small cough.

Well the game we shall play to pass the time on this dark and stormy day..." as if cued, lightning flashed, giving the room an eerie appearance, "is a murder mystery game. Has anyone ever partaken in one before?" Dumbledore asked as he tapped his fingertips together and leaned back in his chair, with that damned twinkle in his eyes.

Draco, who had been struggling to free himself the whole time, bit a chunk out of the apple in his mouth and spit it out.

"HOLY CRAP ON A CRACKER!! ARE YOU INSANE?!?!"

Dumbledore said, "Well, Draco, how nice of you to join us. Please, have a seat."

This leading to a string of curse words in another language on Draco's part.

"Well then, if there are no objections, I will now assign you your roles and your partners," he stated, blatantly ignoring Draco's protests.

"What the bloody..."Ron said, just before Hermione covered his mouth again.

"Language, Ron, Language!!" Hermione chastised.

Dumbledore stood and started to skip around the group hitting each person on the head. As he smacked Harry, he squealed "goose!" Harry just stared at him in utter confusion.

"Oh...sorry...wrong game...Harry you are the professor. Here is your costume." Dumbledore giggled.

He continued his way around the room giving everyone their costume and character assignment. The characters stood as thus:

Dumbledore: Crazy Old Man

Hagrid: Egor-like Servant to Crazy Old Man

Sirius: Butler to Crazy Old Man

Remus: Cook to Crazy Old Man

Harry: a Professor

Ron: Some Random Millionaire

Hermione: Movie Star

Fred and George: the Detectives

Ginny: The French Maid

Draco: a Vacuum Salesman

After Dumbledore gave everyone their character assignment and their costumes, he skipped merrily to his door.

Turning on his heel, he stated "Meet me in the library at noon."

He kissed his hand, waved like a princess, bowed, and swept out of the room leaving everyone to gape at the door.

"What the bloody..." Ron was stopped by a punch in his already bloody eye from Hermione.

"WATCH THE DAMNED LANGUAGE, WEASLEY!!!"

A/N: Well...what do you think? Please review and let me know...thank you! I love you all!