This is set at the beginning of 6th year, and is based on the RP we did in my RPG at the time. I own none of the characters, they are J.K's, and Arianna Black is an OC belonging to Jenna. The speech Sirius gives belongs to Anket, the Sirius of the RPG.
James had had a reckless summer. He'd spent half of it with the Marauders, getting up to mischief as always, and the other half holidaying in Spain with his parents. He'd told the guys about the girl he'd spent his time with in Spain. Fun girl, she was, he thought with a smirk. Remus had asked James if he'd felt guilty because of his feelings towards Lily. Not really. Lily Evans wasn't his girl, and he was in no way her guy, as much as he'd like to be. He might as well have fun. Only one life to live.
School had started just as normal. Sorting, the welcome feast, nothing out of the ordinary. James and Sirius were given their first three detentions of their 6th year within the first week. Lily had rejected him twice in the first week. Ordinary. September quickly changed over to October. Then, something out of the ordinary happened. James began to notice another girl. A girl he'd known since they started Hogwarts. Arianna Black.
Arianna was Sirius' cousin, she was a fellow Gryffindor and the same year as them. She played chaser on the team too. James wondered how he'd never really noticed her like this before. They were friends, they hung out all the time. But he'd never really noticed how attractive she was. He knew personality wise, they were a great match. They shared interests too. Over the next few weeks, his interest in Arianna grew, but he ignored it. He was too used to chasing Lily.
"Potter!" came the familiar scream.
"Yes, Evans?" he greeted her with his usual mischievous grin.
"I don't know how you got up to the girl's dorm, but leaving 'You look good naked, we should date sometime - Potter' on the bathroom mirror is inappropriate, and I would rather date Mrs Norris than you, you arrogant prat!" she was red in the face with anger, shouting at him.
"Okay." he said quietly.
"And futhermo- What?" Lily stopped suddenly. James had never simply responded with "Okay" before.
"I said okay. You've said no enough times. I won't ask you out anymore, Evans. I give up on you." He was talking in front of quite an audience, and he couldn't believe it. Arianna was there, watching. He caught her eye, but looked away.
"I.. Well.. Good." Lily said definitely. She stormed out of the common room, not wanting to be around everyone.
James sighed heavily, slumping into his favourite chair by the fire. Arianna was staring at him, but he refused to look at her. He didn't want her to know he liked her. Besides, he still liked Lily, didn't he? He didn't know. Or did he? No. He didn't like Lily. He was done with her. Suddenly, Arianna had sat herself in his lap, giving him a hug.
"I'm proud of you, Jamesy." she spoke gently, right in his ear.
"Thanks, Ariberry." he hugged her tightly. This was nice, it was comfortable. He wondered if she could tell.
"Did you really mean it? That you give up on her?" Arianna almost seemed hopeful.
"Yes. I do mean it. Hey, you wanna go to Hogsmeade this weekend? With me? The guys are all busy, and we're mates and stuff so.." he trailed off. He couldn't seem to bring himself to outright ask her to go out with him.
"Sure. Could be fun." she smiled.
This was the start of a new chapter, for him. A new start. Something out of the ordinary. Something new. A new girl. He really did like her, and he wanted to start something with her. How would Lily react? She wouldn't care. Or would she?
Saturday finally came, and everyone was ready to go to Hogsmeade. James had walked down to the Entrance hall with Arianna, they were talking comfortably and laughing together. He suddenly caught Lily's eye, and she gave him and odd look. He shook it off and turned his attention back to Arianna. They never ran out of things to talk about, all the way down to the Three Broomsticks. James bought them butterbeers, and they went to sit in a corner booth.
"So, you've really given up on Lily Evans?" she asked, her gaze not meeting his. She was fiddling with her hands, she seemed nervous.
"I don't know." he leaned back in his seat. "I think I really am. Besides, my attention is somewhat captured by someone else."
"Oh? Who?" she'd raised her eyes to meet his, finally.
"It doesn't matter." he muttered. He didn't want to make a fool of himself. Sirius would kill him anyway.
"Come on, Jamesy. You can tell me anything." she prodded his hand, playfully grinning at him.
He couldn't help grinning at her. She really did have a beautiful smile. She was funny, smart, pretty.. What did he really have to lose? Sirius would come round to the idea. All these thoughts were going on his head, and he hadn't even told her yet. How long had it been since he said anything? Say something, damn it! "You."
"M-me?" she choked a little on her butterbeer.
"You." he repeated simply. "Enough of that though. What about you? What's going on in your love life?" He didn't want to concentrate on his confession. Her reaction told him she rejected the idea.
"Well, I.. I like someone. He doesn't know it, but I've liked him for a while." she blushed.
"Maybe you should tell him. Never know what could happen, Ariberry. Don't let a little fear get in your way." He couldn't look at her now. He didn't want to think about her dating another guy when he'd just admitted he liked her.
"Okay. I like you." She said simply.
He looked up, expecting to see her turned to another table or something, speaking to whoever. But she was looking directly at him. She'd liked him for a while? So, she didn't reject the idea of them together. He grinned, leaning forwards.
"Me? Well.. Seems we have an opportunity here."
"It would seem that way, yeah." she returned his grin.
"My cousin? You're dating my cousin?" Sirius roared.
"Sirius, calm down. James clearly likes her, and she likes him. They're old enough to recognise this on their own." Remus said reasonably.
"Thanks, Moony. Look, Padfoot-"
"Don't you 'Padfoot' me, you git!"
"Sirius, I really do like her. Lily is.. Lily is in the past. I've moved on. I really like Arianna."
"Fine. This is going to end in tears though. And I will hex you into next year if you hurt her, Potter."
James and Arianna were sat by the fire, Arianna sat in his lap. They'd been dating a few weeks, and the general gossip surrounding them was beginning to die down. Lily had barely been seen anywhere these past few weeks. People had told Arianna that Lily was jealous of seeing the couple being all "cute", but both her and James had discarded that rumour. Secretly, Arianna had thought "She should have grabbed him when she had the chance."
"Ariberry, I'm bored." James suddenly said. He was a restless character.
"Well, what do you want me to do about it?" she asked, innocently enough.
James looked around the crowded common room. It was almost curfew, but it never stopped him. "Accompany me to the library, perhaps? I need a book for Transfiguration."
"But James, you already fini- Oh." She said, catching the cheeky glint in his eyes.
They walked casually enough up towards the library, which was open for only another 5 minutes anyway, but they ducked into an alcove. As soon as they'd ducked out of sight, James pulled Arianna close to him, bringing their lips together so he could kiss her as passionately as he'd wanted to all week. Arianna wrapped her arms around his neck, her hands in his hair as they kissed. He brought her against the wall, and she wrapped her legs around his waist, he let out a low groan. She broke the kiss, choosing to kiss his neck instead, which was only driving him more insane. She left a mark on his neck, "Mine." she whispered, giving him a smirk. James chuckled, bringing her lips to his again, biting gently on her bottom lip. She couldn't stop a slight gasp escaping as he moved his kisses down her neck, marking hers as she'd done to him. "Mine." he practically growled.
They were so in their moment, kissing passionately, that they didn't hear her footsteps. "Potter!" came that familiar shout. James and Arianna broke their kiss, staring at Lily Evans. Arianna quickly dropped her legs from James, standing on the ground again.
"Potter, it is past curfew!" Lily was furious. James realised he hadn't really seen her since he'd started dating Arianna. She was shouting all sorts at the pair, and he was getting more and more annoyed. "20 points from Gryffindor!"
"Ari, would you please leave me and Evans to speak." He spoke through gritted teeth. Arianna nodded quietly, walking away and refusing to meet Lily's gaze.
"Evans, what is your problem?" James shouted.
"My problem? What's your problem? It's past curfew and you shouldn't be snogging where anyone could find you anyway!" she shouted back.
"Anyone else would have walked past, and said nothing! Remus would have done!" They hadn't argued in what felt like a very long time, but it was only a few weeks in reality.
"I'm not Remus!" He'd touched a nerve by mentioning her fellow Gryffindor prefect. "School rules are there for a reason, Potter!"
"Rules are made to be broken!"
"Oh, from the star student of the school himself!"
"Shut up, Evans! Taking points from your own house just because you've never been snogged!"
"I.. That's.. That's none of your business!"
It was a shock to him. Lily Evans, never been snogged? She was a beautiful girl, how had she never been snogged? This was insane. Why was she even annoying him so much over something so small?
"So what, you're jealous that I was snogging Ari? Is that why you took points?"
"No!" She was red with embarrassment now. Had she really been jealous?
"You've been acting odd for weeks, avoiding me and now you're going about taking 20 points from the house because you caught us snogging! You would have given anyone else a warning and told them to go to their common room, but because it's me, you just have to-"
"FINE! Maybe I was jealous!" she interrupted him loudly. She was looking directly at him, fire in her eyes.
And then James did something stupid. He covered the space between them and kissed her. He kissed her with passion, how he'd always wanted to. He had her against the wall, and he was kissing her. He was kissing Lily Evans. And she was kissing him back. They broke apart, still furious with one another, but there seemed to be something new between them.
"Are you mad at me?" he asked quietly.
"No." She seemed to be organising her thoughts. "But I will be if you don't tell Arianna you just kissed me."
Arianna walked back to find James, he'd been arguing with Lily a long time. She hoped they hadn't killed each other.
"James?" she asked in a quiet voice.
"Ari.. I.. I have to tell you something."
"Oh?" She was worried now.
"I.. I uh.. I kissed Lily." Lily shot him a furious look. He could have waited. But he didn't want to drag anything out. James gave Arianna a look that gave it all away. How sorry he was for it all. How he shouldn't have done it. How he never wanted to hurt her.
Arianna said nothing. She ran, bursting into tears. She was heading outside.
"Go." Lily said, although James needed no prompting.
"Ari!" he shouted after her, catching up to her.
"Don't, James! Just don't! I was so stupid!" she tried wiping away her tears, she didn't want him to see.
"No.. No you weren't stupid." he couldn't help wrapping his arms around her. He needed her to be okay, but he knew she wasn't.
"I was, James. I was so, so stupid. So idiotic to think you were over her. So many people told me, and I was stupid enough to think.. To think you might be." She couldn't tear herself away from him. It was comforting in his arms, even after what he'd done.
"Ari, I am.. I am over her.. We just.. We needed to-"
"No." she said, placing her fingers on his lips. "You aren't over her. It's her or no one, and you know that. Please. Just make sure you don't fuck things up."
Arianna reached up, gently pressing her lips to his for one last time. Things would never be the same between them now. They were exes. He would always feel guilty, that was just how he was. She might always wonder. But they weren't supposed to be together. He needed Lily, and she didn't know who she needed. It clearly couldn't be James though.
"Take this up with you, please." he whispered, taking off his shirt and handing it to her. She nodded, knowing it meant he was going for a run. She turned away from him, and walked back up to the castle.
James had been running for about 20 minutes, pushing himself harder and harder. He needed to punish himself. The rain had began when he'd started running and it was heavy now. He was soaked through, freezing and he didn't care. Arianna's face just kept pushing in his mind. He started running out of the forest, back towards the castle. He figured he should probably head back. James hadn't seen Sirius waiting for him on the outskirts of the forest. He was suddenly hit by a hex, and he hit the ground hard, unable to move. Who the fuck dares do that when a man's back is turned, he thought furiously.
He walked up to James, resting his foot on James's chest and pointing his wand at James's face, his own set in an oddly calm expression. When he finally spoke, his tone was even with a slight edge to it.
"I'm going to tell you why this failed, and you're going to shut up and listen so you don't hurt another girl or yourself like this ever again." He continued, not waiting for James to react. "This failed because you are James Fucking Potter. See, we really are brothers. And one thing we both share is how we treat our desires. When we want something or someone, we want it fully, without abandon, without care of the consequences, regardless of what we have to do to get it. And we can't settle for anything else. Even if you ever manage to convince yourself that you're over her and get married to some other girl, even if the goddess Aphrodite herself descended from the heavens to offer you her love and beauty, you will not be happy, because every other woman suffers from one glaring, blinding, all consuming flaw. They aren't Lily Evans. That is why I agreed to this deal with Ella, that is why you will try again with Lily, that is why if you ever try to get with another girl both of you will be miserable. You cannot settle for anything less than who you truly want, and don't kid yourself and try." He leaned close, tilting his head, his wand to the side now. "Did I get through your thick skull, mate?"
James nodded, knowing what Sirius was saying was right. Sirius removed the spell, holding out his hand to help James up. The two walked back up to the castle in silence, but they would be fine. They always were. Their friendship had taken harder hits than this.
James had left Sirius, they took separate ways when they reached the castle. James wanted to see if Lily was still where he'd left her. Surprisingly, she actually was. He'd been gone for over half an hour, and was now without his shirt. He didn't care. He needed to clear the air with her.
"James, I.. Why are you shirtless?"
"I went for a run. It's over with Ari."
"Oh. I'm so sorry.."
"No you're not."
She looked at him with a hurt expression. "I am, and I'm not."
"I need to know something."
"What?"
"Kiss me."
"What?"
"Kiss me." He pulled her body against his, and she looked up at him in confusion.
"Fine." She leaned up, pecking him on the lips. Why did he want her to do this anyway? This was stupid.
James chuckled at her gently. "No. Like this.", and he kissed her properly. He kissed her in a more gentle way, but somehow more passionate, than their earlier kiss. A lover's kiss. Lily sank into it, unable to tear herself away. It was either because she'd never been kissed before, and all kisses were this magical, or it was him. They broke apart, him resting his forehead against hers for a moment.
"I just wanted to see something."
And with that, James Potter walked away. He went back to the common room, but he didn't stay there, he ran straight up to the dorms. Remus and Peter were already asleep, Sirius was probably down in the common room. James threw himself on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. It had taken a few weeks, a snog, breaking his friend's heart and Sirius hexing him to make him realise something. Something that would always be true.
He would never be over Lily Evans. It was all or nothing.