Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Marvel's and Sylvia is mine! Don't try to steal her or else! By the way, I have no idea what the 'or else' part means, so stick in a particularly terrifying threat!

A/N: This story is told in first person, so don't be annoyed if I don't give enough details to satisfy your fanfic craving needs! I have trouble with descriptions because i tend to rush the story. Anywho, enough of my blathering and on to the story! Enjoy!

Shrapnyl

Chapter 1

Operation: Do It The Fun Way

I glanced at the guard I had recently duct-taped to the wall and grinned.

"Just be glad you're alive! Your buddies weren't so lucky," I smiled to the shivering guard and stepped over a dead body. The guard swallowed and the fear that came off of him was scented so strongly, I was afraid my nostrils would start burning up if I breathed it in any longer.

In case you didn't know (which you probably didn't, considering this is my first appearance in a fanfic), my name is Kinney. Sylvia Kinney. Daughter of Laura Kinney and Wade Wilson. I'm 17. My hair is brown, like what my father's used to be. I have hazel/green eyes (they're a mixture between the two). I'm from the Very Dark Future (and yes, it is VERY dark), so in this time period no one knows I exist. So don't tell anyone, cause it's a secret! Or else Cable will come and find me and drag me back to the future (the DARK future! Dun, dun, daaa! Or was it Bishop who was going to drag me...? I always get the two of them mixed up.) I enjoy walking off into the sunset…Oh never mind. I'll just get back to my mission now…Even though I have no idea what it is…Oh well, guess I'll find out when I get there!

I stepped over a few more dead bodies and surveyed the carnage I had caused… Let's see here… One, two… twenty seven dead guards. Eh, not my best score but I'll worry about that later. Right now it's time to see a man about…well I don't know what it's about, but it certainly must be important in order for me to drag my butt all the way to the Colorado Rockies. How did I get here? After I had landed in this time, my super cool teleporting/time traveling belt that I wore around my waist stopped working as a time traveling machine and lost its 'dual functionality' that made it so snazzy. I guess I teleported here… You know what? I don't make sense! Don't listen to me and my rambling! Unless of course you really want to, so in that case…

I moseyed along down the corridor, carefully avoiding phrases like 'It's quiet...too quiet' and 'Wow, this place is deserted' so as not to draw attention to myself. I wonder what my parents are up to in this time… probably killing things.

So, what should we do, now that these guards are taken care of?

"I think I should find the control room, and get whatever I came here for," I stated out loud.

There was a commotion down the corridor and some mindless guard shouted, "I think the intruder is in sector twelve!"

Stupid guards. Of course I'm in sector twelve! I'm the only intruder here…as far as I know. After three hours of studying the blueprints to this old (haha, it's funny cause I'm from the future; everything here is old to me!) Hydra base, I think I would know what sector I'm in, and I believe I'm in sector twelve. Unless I was wrong, but what are the chances of that happening?

The guards rushed towards my position and I leaned against the wall, lying in wait for them. I'll get where I'm going eventually, it'll just take a little longer cause I'm gonna have to gut these guards.

The guards hustled down the hall and froze when they saw me staring at them.

"Hi boys. Wanna play 'gut the Hydra agent'? I know I do! It sure sounds like fun…for me anyways." My cool bone claws slid out of their places between my index finger and middle finger and my ring finger and pinky and one from my wrist. Six pointy claws, three on each hand, ready for gutting baddies. The guards looked me up and down and started to laugh.

"This is the intruder? It's just a little girl!" said one of the guards in a Russian accent.

I smiled at him. "Ooh, wrong answer. Would you rather take another guess, or begin a fight scene?" I asked him sweetly, crossing my arms across my chest.

"How about this, little girl, you go back to your mommy and daddy, and we won't hurt you," said a different guard in a Scandinavian accent. I swear, he sounded just like a Viking! No, not the football team from Minnesota. Like the guys with actual horned helmets and ships with the shields of their fallen foes lined up on the side of the deck; those kind.

"Can't. My parents are in the future, the very dark future! Oops, I just gave the secret away. Dang." I sighed and stood up straight, ready for the inevitable fight scene that would come. The guards looked confused at my response, but shrugged it off when one of them stepped forward. I think it was the Russian one.

"One more chance, little girl, for you to leave unharmed," said the Russian guard. Yep, I was right.

"Fight scene it is, then," I said, right before I leaped in front of the Scandinavian guard.

"Hi there, hope you don't mind dying. I'm sure it's a lovely experience," I said to him and then stabbed him in the chest, around where his heart would be. My bright white bone claws came away clean, but his cut started gushing out blood. He gazed at me in shock and clutched his wound as he fell to the floor. I jumped backwards as the Russian guard fired a round at me. I landed behind him, leaned down and swept my feet in a circle, knocked him to the ground, and sat on his chest.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you that it's impolite to shoot at people?" I asked him, pulling out my duct-tape from one of my many pockets. I have a thing for pockets; I must get it from my dad. Another thing I got from my dad would be my 'mouth' and my 'different' sense of humor.

The guard shook his head.

"Wrong answer." I smiled at him and began to tape him to the floor while his comrades looked on in shock. I'm sure I must look pretty intimidating to them; a 17 year-old girl, wearing black skinny jeans, a red T-shirt, my cool teleporting/time traveling belt (now without the time traveling function!), and some black Converse. Oh yes, I'm the image of fear to these brave Hydra soldiers. Yeah, right.

After I had finished taping the Russian to the floor, I got up and looked around for his buddies. There were none to be found. They are sooo brave, they wanted to play hide and seek with me. Too bad I prefer 'Marco, Polo'.

"Maaarrrrcccooo!!" I called out down the hall. There was no response. "You're supposed to say 'Polo'!" I called out again. My claws slid back into their place inside my arm. I looked at the Russian with my eyes narrowed. "Time to play 'Interrogate the Russian Hydra Agent until I Get Some Answers'!"

The Russian blinked at me. "I don't think I like that game," he said simply.

"Don't knock it till you've tried it!" I told him.

His Adam's apple went up and down as he swallowed fearfully. A perfect example of the very brave soldiers they train here at a Hydra base. I leaned down and ripped some of the strips of duct-tape holding him down and pulled him up off the floor. He struggled as I wrapped more tape around him, creating a snug and cozy duct-tape cocoon. I threw him over my shoulder and walked down the hall with purpose in my stride.

I rounded a corner and found another empty hallway with five doorways to choose between, two on the left and three on the right. Let's see here…

"Eeny, meeny, minie, moe. Catch a tiger by the toe. If it hollers, let it go. My mother told me to pick the very best one, and you are it." I counted aloud and my finger landed on the first door on the right-hand side.

"Okay everybody. Let's see what's behind door number 1!" I said as I pushed the green button on the keypad next to the door. It slid open, revealing a room full of Hydra agents drinking coffee.

"It's a room full of brave Hydra agents on their break! What a wonderful prize!" I said as I threw the Russian agent onto the table. The brave Hydra agents looked up in surprise and hastily tried to draw their guns. I stopped them by simply jumping on the table, sliding my claws out of their place, and running around, slicing everyone's hands off as I went.

"Now, now. We wouldn't want you accidentally shooting somebody, now would we? Talk about impolite," I said to the bewildered guards.

"What do you want from us?" one of the guards asked fearfully.

"Finally! Someone polite enough to ask what I want! And he's not foreign!" I exclaimed. "I'll take a number 5, hold the mayo." The guards all around the table looked at me like I was crazy. "Just kidding. Take me to your leader," I said in a serious tone that I hardly ever use. When I do use it, it's usually to intimidate guards. I think it worked.

"That's all? You don't want any money, guns, ammo, or nothin?" asked a different guard. He wasn't foreign, either. Jeez these guys are sharp. They catch the stuff I leave out!

"Oh, yeah. I almost forgot about those. Hand over all your potentially dangerous items, would ya, along with your lunch money," I said. The guards looked up at me and held out their stubs.

"How are we supposed to 'hand' over our items? You cut off our hands," said one of the guards in an Irish accent.

"Ooh, you're a bright one, aren't ya? Guess we'll have to do this the fun way," I said as I jumped off the table and kicked one of the occupied chairs down. I grabbed the ruffled guard and pushed him up against the wall, standard mugging position, and said, "See? Fun! Now stand still while I go pirate on ya and take all your potentially dangerous items and lunch money," I commanded.

"Or what?" asked one of the guards still sitting at the table. Do they not even realize that I left the door open? Maybe they aren't that bright after all.

"Or I'll tell your boss that you got beaten by a girl," I said simply, "cause you know I'll find her…or him, eventually."

The guard grew quiet and sat in silence.

"Anyone else have a question for me? Anyone? Yes, you there in the corner," I said, pointing to the man in the corner who had his hand—er, I mean stub, up.

"Yes, what I want to know is why haven't you killed us yet?"

"I'm sorry, all questions must be in the form of an answer," I stated.

"Why haven't you killed us yet."

"Now all you did was change the end punctuation! Pitiful, absolutely pitiful." I shook my head slowly and began to loot the guy I had pushed up against the wall. Let's see here… five clips of bullets, a few guns, two strips of Orbit gum, and some spare change. Not bad, but not very good either.

"Why do you have Orbit gum? Did you see one of those commercials where the guy who chews the Orbit gum gets kissed by a pretty lady? Or does your boss pay you in gum?" I asked him. He didn't respond. He must be speechless from my vast knowledge of this time period's commercials. Hey, what can I say? I've been here for around a week and the only thing that was on TV were those gum commercials!

"Oh well. Duct-tape time!" I said and pulled out my roll of duct-tape again. I taped him to the wall very snugly, so he wouldn't get cold. "Who's next? Now, don't you all jump up at once."

One of the guards sighed and rose from his chair. "I'll go, since I'll have to eventually."

"That's the spirit! Step right up, sir, and get ready for your all expense paid trip to…the wall of this room! Enjoy!" I smiled and pushed him against the metal wall, taking everything out of his pockets, and taping him to the wall after I was done.

"For your braveness and participation in my little game, I shall gift to you…this duct-tape coat! This'll keep you nice and cozy during those cold winter months," I said, dropping the carefully crafted coat onto the floor in front of him.

"I think that's all I can carry, so I'm gonna skip looting all of you and just get to the taping part, okay?" I said as I moved on to the next guy.

After I had finished taping all but one of the guards up on the wall, I turned to the only guard left standing and said, "Take me to your leader," and pointed a gun at his head. He swallowed nervously so I prodded him with the barrel of the gun. He swallowed again and led me out of the room and out into the hallway.

"Hold up there, buckaroo. I forgot to tape your stubs together so it looks like I'm forcing you to do this," I said to him. He sighed and held up his stubs. I taped them together gleefully. "About face! Forward march!" I commanded him in a military tone. He obliged and led me down the metal corridor.

The green-clad Hydra guard stopped in front of a large metal door.

"The boss lady's in there." The guard nodded at the door and turned to walk away, but I grabbed him by the shoulder.

"Oh no you don't, you're comin' with me, see? Now open the door."

"But…I don't have hands."

"Oh yeah. Guess we're gonna have to do this the fun way too," I said as I reached into one of my pockets and pulled put some plastic explosives. I carefully planted them around the door and stepped down the hall. The guard did the same.

"Campfire ladies, sing this song, doo-dah, doo-dah! Campfire racetrack, five miles long, oh dee-doo-dah-day! I don't know the words to this song, na na na na naaa!" I sang and pressed the button on my detonator. The door exploded in a fantastical display of fire and metal, the force of which knocked me down and sent the guard flying backwards. He landed with a thud and I decided to leave him where he was. He looked so peaceful unconscious.

I walked into the room and was immediately greeted with several glowing red dots on my head.

"Ah, I see you enjoy using laser-pointers to target people," I stated, standing still in the doorway.

"Couldn't you just use the door?" asked a woman with green-ish, blue-ish hair and matching lipstick and a gray trench coat. I believe she's the boss lady my escort was referring to.

"I did! Didn't you see me?"

"I meant-"

"You meant what, salad-head?"

"Why did you blow up the door?"

"It's called making an entrance, look it up."

The green/blue haired lady sighed and said, "Not another one of your kind. We just remodeled our base."

"Whadaya mean 'my kind'? This is the first time I've broken into your base, salad-head."

"I mean-"

"You're mean? Well that explains a lot, like your oddly colored head, for one. And why are you talking like a caveman? This isn't the prehistoric era- or is it? And why-"

"Would you stop interrupting me! I'm trying to give you a stern talking to, but you keep-"

"Hey! Look who's talkin! You keep interrupting me when I'm trying to answer some of your questions! It's almost like-"

"Aaarrrggghhh! Guards! Seize her!"

"Ooh, and all I wanted was a nice 'How are you today, Sylvia?' But no, you have to go and try to 'seize' me. Keyword being 'try'," I pointed out. Two guards rushed towards me, arms wide open, so I did what anybody would do if they were in my position…well maybe not everybody, but I'm sure some people would do what I did. I shouted, "Rochambeau!" and kicked one of them in the crotch, then I tackled the other one to the ground. The first guard passed out and the second one looked up at me fearfully. I smiled back at him and he looked even more scared than he was before.

"Idiots…" hissed the salad-head from her perch on her big chair.

"Ooh, now that was a low blow, calling them idiots like you did. It really hurts their self-esteem," I said, taking out my duct-tape and getting ready to tape my victim to the floor.

Salad-head sighed and said, "What do you want with me?"

"What do I want with you? Hmm, let's see here…I'll take a number 5, hold the mayo."

The boss lady looked at me like I was crazy so I said, "Just kidding. I'll need you to put me through the Weapon X program, if you don't mind."

"That's what you came here for?!"

"Apparently. I can't come up with another reason for me being here voluntarily, so yeah, let's go with that."

"And why do you want this? The process isn't exactly painless."

"Let's see…My mother went through it, my father went through it, my uncle went through it, my other uncle worked for you guys, my honorary uncle worked for you guys…You could say it's a family tradition. Plus I wants me some shiny claws so I can cut people and it'll really hurt em!"

"You're probably crazy…but I'll do it. What do you want your dog tags to say?"

"How about…Shrapnyl, with a 'y'," I said. It seemed to fit me, in a way. I really enjoy blowing things up, there's a 'Y' thrown in there, and my mind may not be 'stable', but who the heck cares! Certainly not me, at any rate!

Well, there's chapter 1! Hope you enjoyed it! REVIEW if you know what's good for you! And reviewing is good for you, trust me! :)