The Marriage Contract
Love.
Lucius Malfoy had never wanted to fall in love. Love changes you. It messes with your mind. One moment you're thinking clearly, being a functional human being and the next, your significant other clouds your thoughts and hurts your judgment. Love meant taking into consideration the other person's emotions. Their feelings impacted your feelings. Their sadness and anger were your own.
His parents always said marriage wasn't about emotion. It was a contract, an agreement, a well thought out plan. You chose your significant other based on her name, her status and her purity. Your desires meant nothing. Your feelings meant nothing. To love was to be weak.
Lucius had always been weak.
In the dark of the night Lucius paced back and forth along the West wing of Malfoy manor. He was supposed to be patrolling the corridor incase something happened or someone appeared. The Dark Lord was growing agitated as the days dragged on and Lucius was becoming worried as his distrust in the Malfoy family grew.
Lucius turned in the opposite direction he was supposed to be patrolling and stared down the quiet corridor. Malfoy manor was always eerily quiet and dark. It had never been a warm place but now Lucius felt like a prisoner in his own home.
He turned again, making circle after circle, trying to make up his mind. He turned once more and then abruptly stopped. This was his home. He was the king of this castle. It was ridiculous. He didn't need permission to walk around at night.
He knew it was dangerous with the presence of the Dark Lord so close by but he had to break free from his cage. Slowly, he started walking down the corridor, the opposite way he was expected to, with only the light of the moon to guide him. If he was quick about it no one would notice him.
His black robes swished underneath his feet and he cursed silently to himself, slowing down his pace. It was just one more corner. One more corner to peace. He couldn't stop now but did at the sound of footsteps tapping against the tiled floor.
He was a coward that had fallen from grace. He placed his hand on the wall and waited, heart thumping in his chest. They would kill him. The other Death Eater's would show him no mercy. Bellatrix would want to do it, cackling in front of his wife and son. His grey eyes would become lifeless and he could hear Narcissa scream out his name in agony as if she too had been shot by in the chest by the deathly green light of her sister's wand.
Lucius shuddered at the thought, a pale hand on his chest. It was now or never. He took a chance and walked slowly down the corridor.
He just needed a moment of peace. Some clarity. He needed Narcissa.
A cloaked figure made a sharp turn at the sound of his footsteps, wand at the ready, and walked towards him.
"Lucius, what are you doing here?" Narcissa asked worriedly.
"I—I…"
He couldn't speak. The thoughts that filled his head moments before escaped him. He was a coward.
Lucius Malfoy was a bloody coward and that's what love did to him. It make him weak, knocked him down to his knees. It made him do stupid things and redirected his life. Sometimes it wasn't for the better. He was putting his wife in danger because he wanted to talk. He wanted companionship.
Narcissa's eyes were cold but he stared into them, waiting for some sort of emotion other than anger. That's all she ever was lately, angry. She was angry with him for abandoning their family. As if he wanted to go to Azkaban for a year. He was supposed to lead his family to greatness but failed and they were trapped in a dead end.
"Go back to your station," she commanded harshly. When he didn't move she bit her bottom lip, drawing blood, and gave him an incredulous look. "Are you trying to get yourself killed?"
He didn't budge. Lucius hadn't been this close to his wife in months. In that time she aged tremendously. Gone was the soft young woman he had fallen in love with. In her place was a hardened middle-aged woman with fine lines and graying hair.
"Come with me," he whispered.
Lucius placed his hands on her shoulders but she smacked them away and gave him a horrified look, pale cheeks turning a slight shade of pink.
"To where? Where are you going? What's wrong with you? You're running away, aren't you?"
"Let's leave tonight. The three of us. Let's just go," he pleaded. "Anywhere. France, Germany, Spain, Italy, wherever you want to."
"When did you become such a coward," she snapped.
Her words were like venom and made him feel small. He took a step back from Narcissa and stared at her in the moonlight. His wife used to write him love notes and stick them in his pockets. Before they were married and just mere children she would surprise him with kisses whenever he passed her, so faint and quick, sometimes he thought they were a figment of his imagination.
Space. That was all that was ever between them now. They barely spoke to one another, only in quick glances did Lucius see remnants of his former wife. They did not sleep in a bed together. It was too risky. Their entire marriage was too risky. Death Eater's were not supposed to be capable of love.
"You're supposed to protect this family. Be the head of this household. Lucius, be a man."
"Narcissa, do you know what today is?"
She tiredly shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose. Once her hands fell, Lucius grabbed them lightly, though they were cold to the touch he felt a slight warmth fill him at the mere excitement of finally being close to her.
"It's our anniversary."
She scoffed and dropped her hands from his hold.
"Our anniversary isn't for another three months."
"We might not survive another three months," he said quietly.
The shock in her face and the pain appeared immediately. They didn't have to speak to know what the other was thinking. Azkaban, Draco failing his mission, Lucius losing favor with the Dark Lord.
The war was drawing nearer. Soon the plan to fully invade Hogwarts would reach its final stage. There would be causalities on both ends and Lucius could sense loyalty would not matter and alliances were fleeting.
"Join me," he said tiredly.
She said nothing as he started to walk down the corridor and opened the door to the closet room he could find. Lucius didn't bother to close the door behind him because he could feel her presence and her eyes staring into his back.
The room was empty except for a bed and furniture that looked like ghostly shadows in the dark. He walked to the end of the room, to the window, sliding down against it and onto the floor. Narcissa sat across from him, leaning against the bed.
Lucius shoved his hand into his pocket and pulled out a crumpled piece of parchment, handing it over to Narcissa.
"Here," he said. "Open it."
Narcissa grabbed it and did as she was told, eyes quickly examining the words written down in a feverish scrawl.
"It's our marriage contract," he said with a wry smile. "Do you remember when we wrote this?"
She nodded. "We weren't even engaged. We were barely even dating."
The two laughed quietly and looked at each other. Narcissa's blue eyes sparkled slightly. Yet there was still a dull darkness in them that would never quite go away, Lucius knew, but the shadow of his wife and former life was still there.
"You were always testing me. I couldn't stand that about you. Everything was a constant quiz and I always failed. Oh, and the constant nagging. Lucius," he said in a high voice trying to imitate her, "why can't you be more romantic? Lucius, why can't you do this, why can't you do that. Barely six months in and we were fighting like an old married couple."
Except here they were, now an old married couple and their conversations were nothing but pained stolen glances.
"Well," she said hotly. "If you weren't such a stupid boy—"
"Oh!" he exclaimed. "Pot meet kettle."
She rolled her eyes at him, a genuine smile appearing. "Are you calling me stupid?"
"Never," he said seriously.
"Why are you showing me this anyway," she paused. "Why did we write the contract again?"
Lucius grinned at the memory. They were in the Owlery. It was a few days before the school year was ending and Lucius was graduating, leaving Narcissa behind. Though neither would admit it at the time the thought of not seeing each other on a daily basis hurt them both.
"We were fighting because I refused to talk about where our relationship was going. I was leaving little Narcissa at Hogwarts where I was supposedly going on to bigger and better things."
She nodded, starting to remember, a large smile appearing on her face.
"You kept mocking me and asking me if I wanted to read a stupid letter you were sending to your parents. You called it a 'proposal of your love.'"
At the time Narcissa truly did not believe him and refused to read the letter even as he angrily sent it off. It was a proposal, a simple sentence to his parents.
I need to marry Narcissa.
Not I 'want' or I 'would like.' It was certain. Demanding. There was no room for discussion.
Lucius, even at the age of seventeen, knew he needed Narcissa. She brought clarity to his life. She taught him it was okay to love.
"Yes, and we wrote the contract even though you rejected me flat out when I said I wanted to marry you."
"Because you were being preposterous!" she said with a laugh. "I wasn't even of age yet. I thought you wanted me for my body."
Lucius snorted and squeezed her hand gently.
"Always so modest. Read it to me."
"This is ridiculous," she said with a small laugh. "Lucius Malfoy, of the very prestigious Malfoy family, swears to his future wife, the very gorgeous Narcissa Black that he will love her for eternity. He promises to address Narcissa as 'her majesty' in bed or 'oh great one.'"
The two could not quiet their laughter, forgetting momentarily that they were hiding.
"We were such children with filthy minds."
Lucius nodded in agreement. "Come on, read the rest."
"Oh, this is embarrassing. Alright…ahem…Narcissa Black, of the Noble House of Black, promises to hold her tongue in front of company and not light Lucius's hair on fire."
"You were always jealous of my luscious locks."
Narcissa rolled her eyes and snorted. "Oh please."
He chose to ignore her and peered over the parchment.
"The next part is my favorite," he said. "Narcissa promises to let Lucius name their future children when they have them. Unfortunately, that never happened."
She scoffed. "Thankfully that didn't happen. Poor Draco would have been ostracized his entire life. Wanting to name our son after a silly little band—"
"The Wizards," Lucius said dramatically, "were amazing. That's number one. Secondly, Draco would have made a great Cecil."
Even as he said it he didn't quite believe it himself.
Narcissa ignored him and continued reading the contract.
"Finally, Lucius Malfoy promises to never leave Narcissa…" her voice trailed off, staring at the parchment.
"As long," Lucius continued for her, squeezing her hand again, "as Narcissa swears she'll always stay by his side."
They stared silently at each other, both unsure of what to say next. As teenagers beginning a life together seemed like the ultimate adventure. Now their marriage felt like a burden, one filled with sacrifices and an unhappiness that didn't seem to have an end.
"When did it happen?" she asked quietly.
"When did what happen?"
"When did we lose sight of each other?"
Lucius shrugged. "I'm not sure."
They continued to sit in silence for a few more minutes. Lucius cupped her face into his hands and stared at her solemnly.
"Narcissa, if something happens—"
"Don't," she said. "Just don't."
"Please. If something happens I want you to know something very important. When it comes to us, to this family, I regret nothing."
At first she didn't respond. She stared at him emotionless but then, all at once, Narcissa moved, seating herself next to him. She leaned against him and Lucius grabbed her hand, kissing it gently.
"I love you," she whispered. "Happy early anniversary." Her voice cracked as she said the words.
Love.
It was an interesting concept.
Love, his parents told him, was a useless emotion. Growing up, Lucius wanted no part of it. To think three words held such meaning and hope in a relationship. At seventeen, when he first said those three words to the woman that would one day be his wife, Lucius realized his parents were wrong.
Love did not make you weak. It gave you strength. It gave him strength as he held onto his wife, stuck in the past, thinking of happier times, afraid of what was to come.
Author's Note: I had an idea. I ran with it. I originally wanted to write about the first time Lucius said 'I love you to Narcissa,' that's where the part with the marriage contract came into play. Then it sort of grew as I was researching their backgrounds. I feel like after Azkaban he became a coward. Narcissa was frantic for him to come back home when he was arrested but I think she would have secretly been angry with him because he involuntarily abandoned her. So she had to learn how to be strong. We all know he genuinely loved his wife and that's what I wanted to show here. Let me know what you thought in a review. It has been awhile so I am rusty!