"I let it fall, my heart, and as it fell you rose to claim it, it was dark, it was over, until you kissed my lips, and you saved me."
Caroline tossed and turned in her bed that night. Taking in Adele's words as she lay, she was a huge fan of Adele's work, her songs had this hidden pain in her voice, every lyric to her song 'Fire to the Rain' set shivers down her skin. Her laptop played the song on a minimum volume, music always helped her sleep. But not today, no, today she couldn't sleep at all, and there was certainly no surprise there, too much had happened, just two hours ago she had thought she was going to die. But instead of being put out of her misery, she was sleeping nice and safe in her bedroom under her favourite sea green blanket. Shut up, you're so strong, your better than this, a 500 year old, ex-ripper vampire wants to know how you're so good at being a vampire, and keeping you're calm. So stop cursing yourself for being saved. You should be thanking you're lucky stars. A little voice in her head said. But Caroline still wondered, should she be thanking her lucky stars to be alive tonight? Or should she be thanking Klaus? Oh, damn. The K word again, she pinched herself for the millionth time that day. She had decided she would pinch herself every time she thought about that certain original vampire. He had ruined her life, he had tried to kill Elena, his psycho sister actually did kill Elena and he'd sent poor Stefan off the rails too. He'd done so much. But none of that was compared what he had recently done, he had sent Tyler away, Tyler, the love of her life, he sent him fleeing for his life. First he turned Tyler into a hybrid freak like himself and then sired him to himself, then when Tyler went and broke it and tried to get the other hybrids to break it too, Klaus decided to kill Tyler's mother. She didn't know Carol Lockwood very well, but she knew she was a good, independent woman, living as a widow after Tyler's father died a couple years before and running this town side by side. Single-handedly taking care of her son and this cursed little town? Caroline respected her, a-lot. And she was her boyfriend's mother after all. And she was all poor Tyler had left, and Klaus had killed her. But this wasn't even about that, this was about what Klaus had done next. He had promised Tyler that once Bonnie's spell wears off and he won't be trapped in the house anymore he would come after Tyler, and he would torture him; and kill him. Thankfully, she had managed to convince him to let Tyler go, at least for a little while. Klaus had made her a deal, he said that she should tell Tyler to run as fast as he could and to go somewhere far away, a place where Klaus would never find him, because if he did, then he was going to kill him. That, left Caroline barely five minutes to bid her goodbye to Tyler, it was quick and heart wrenching, she had told him to forget about her and to never think about her again, they both had cried for a little while and then Bonnie's spell wore off, Tyler made a run for it. And he was gone, with him was all the memories of him she'd ever had, she sighed, her heart threatening to jump right out of her chest. She wanted to just 'turn it off', see vampires had that um, that option. (Damon says it's an advantage, but who listens to Damon anyway?) Vampires could switch off their humanity to make all the pain go away. When Stefan had first told her that she had chuckled, she had thought, "Why would anyone want to throw their humanity, their feelings, everything that makes them who they are, go away?" But now, she understood. Sometimes it hurt so much she felt herself wanting to do it. But then, what would make her any better than him? Ugh, the K word again!
"But I set fire to the rain, watch it pour as I touched your face, Well, it burned while I cried, 'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name!"
She couldn't take it anymore; she switched the song off and turned her laptop down. A hot, wet tear went down her cheek. She was a vampire now, she was supposed to feel different, she usually did, but today she remembered the times when she was human, when she had been a self-absorbed, cranky, insecure little bitch. She was supposed to worry about Elena, Bonnie, Jeremy and Stefan, Damon too. She hated Damon for the things he'd done to her, and for the ridiculous way he treated her. But she still didn't want to see him die. They were all off at some creepy Island trying to find the cure to vampirism. That silly little cure that would have done no good to her anyway, she was only doing it all for Elena, poor Elena didn't deserve all this, she had lost so many people in her life, and she was strong-willed and beautiful and had a bright future ahead of her. All of that until that skank Rebekah drove Elena off Wickery Bridge, the same exact bridge where her parents had died. It wasn't fair, it was too cruel, just too cruel. Still, drowning in the exact same waters where her parents did, Elena was brave and selfless, she asked Stefan to save Matt instead. And he did, everyone had thought for awhile there Elena was dead, Damon was out of control, but when Damon went to the hospital to see her body, he found out Meredith had 'helped' her, as in there was vampire blood in her system. And that turned poor Elena into a murderous, impulsive, creature of the night like them. Caroline picked up her cell phone instantly and dialled Elena's number. No answer, so she tried Stefan's number, then Jeremy's, then Bonnie's then Damon's, she was so desperate she even tried calling that blonde slut Rebekah, Klaus's sister, who was also on that island with them. But not even she answered the phone. This worried Caroline, a-lot. She needed to know that her friends were alright. Then a text messaged from Stefan popped in, 'We are going to find Silas, Rebekah ditched last moment. We're fine. Fill you in later.' A wave of relief washed over her, now that she knew her friends were okay, there were other things on her mind. She could feel her a lump in her throat ever since Klaus had left Elena's porch. Just as Tyler had left, Klaus had come and stood in front of her, she was intimidated at first, but he did not do anything. He simply said, "You know I would never hurt you, love" and then he came closer, way to much closer. He told her that everything he had done was for her, "I've done more than enough for you, I've shown kindness, forgiveness, pity, it was for you, Caroline, it was all for you." That last sentence had given goosebumps to her goosebumps, at first her mind was overloading with too many thoughts about Tyler to think about what Klaus had said, she thought that he wasn't doing her any favour by showing all those emotions yet for some reason, she didn't feel right about letting him walk away from her like that. No, she did not like him in that way, he had tried all his charming little tricks on her, he'd complement her every single time they met, he'd called her full of light and beautiful, he'd told her that he would show her what the world had to offer, and she hadn't figured it out until Klaus bit her trying to prove a point. Yes, another wolf bite, she was scared out of her mind, and while she lay there dying, she understood Klaus a whole lot better then she used to. She knew he was in love with her, she knew he was crazy and impulsive but she also knew he hadn't given up on his humanity, he hadn't turned it off and she felt bad for him. She remembered Elena telling her about their 'victory' in killing Klaus's brother Kol, when she'd come in to keep an eye Klaus after her friends had left for the Island to search for the cure, the expression on his face was priceless; it was hurt, agony, despair. She saw that they had left Kol's burnt body right in front of Klaus to see, he had spent a night trapped in the Gilbert house, staring at his dead brother. It was unfair, she knew somewhere in her heart that he deserved it. Then she thought about it, no, nobody deserved that. She knew he was a psycho killer and a creepy vampwolf or whatever, but he didn't deserve that kind of torture. Caroline had hid her guilt and cleaned up the body for him. So while she lay there dying, she told him things she probably shouldn't have, she told him she had found herself wanting to forget all the horrible things he'd done, and she wasn't lying about it. Of course, when she thought that her time was up, Klaus gave her his blood (which is the only werewolf bite cure in the world; go figure) and saved her life. Again. Klaus had saved her ass way too many times now, even though she resented him endlessly for what he was doing to Tyler, she couldn't help feeling terribly guilty. When Rick had gone all crazy and turned into a vampire hunting monster, Klaus had saved her, he'd clapped his hand over her mouth and he'd told her that she was safe. She felt a gratitude towards him, she would never admit it to him of course, or to Bonnie or Elena her two bestest friends in the whole world, because they would all judge her. She turned around and removed a drawing from her desk, Klaus had drawn a drawing of her, she had always been so insecure, but his drawing was so detailed, so…beautiful. She literally changed her views about her ownself after that, she felt satisfied and beautiful and powerful. She sighed at the drawing, outlining the delicate lines of the sketch with her shivering fingers. How could the hands that had broken necks, brought men to their knees, ripped hearts out, make such beautiful pieces of art? What if Klaus hadn't been a psycho billion year old murderous hybrid freak? She couldn't pretend that the thought hadn't crossed her mind. Klaus was good looking, actually, he was very good looking, and the things he said to her, any other girl would have swooned listening to those words in his amazing British accent. He was charming, that was for sure. But no, she didn't like him, she never would forget all the terrible things he'd done, that would be the biggest barrier. Plus, you can't exactly bring a mass murderer home to your parents, can you? She sighed. She shouldn't be lying in bed thinking about the K word, she should just go to sleep.
Her eyes closed, she was about to fall asleep when her cell phone rang, and with a start, she picked it up.
"Stefan! Hey, how are you doing?"
"I think we have a problem, Caroline. A big one."
Caroline was ready to break down and cry again. She couldn't take it, the news she'd heard from Stefan was terrible news, she thought she would never feel again. It was Jeremy, Elena's brother, and he was dead. Katherine (who knows where that sneaky little bitch popped up from?) snapped his neck, and Silas fed on him. Now they had two problems, make that three; Jeremy was dead, Elena was gonna lose it, and a creepy old thousand year old…thing had awoken. Just the thought of Elena's current state made Caroline want to climb into a six foot hole in the ground and never come out again. That girl had lost her adopted parents, her real mother had died and burnt to ashes right in front of her, her real father had died saving her life; trying to protect her into becoming a vampire which she did anyway, her Aunt Jenna was murdered in a sacrifice by the one and only Klaus, Alaric Saltzman her former guardian died too, and Jeremy was all she had left, and now he was gone too. Caroline herself couldn't believe that Jeremy was really dead, she'd known him practically her whole life, he was such a sweet kid…Caroline couldn't even think about it, she got up from her bed and picked up a lamp and slammed it to the ground. Caroline was far from being violent, but tonight, she would break and she knew it. Tears filled her eyes, she looked up at the clock on her wall, 3:15 am. She needed to calm down before she turned into impulsive Damon (the prettier version), she needed a late night snack, she needed comfort food, she needed blood. Now.
She checked on her mom who was sleeping peacefully, and she jumped out of the window from her bedroom. She speed-walked towards the Salvatore house and stole some of Damon's blood bags. Then she broke down under a tree nearby, sipped on blood and cried and cried and cried…
After sometime, when she was finally ready to shut down for a while she heard a noise. She instantly stood up, ready to kill anything that tried to hurt her, and Klaus stepped into the clearing. Her knees grew weak and she fell awkwardly to the ground. Klaus didn't even try to see if she was okay, he just stood there. Caroline rubbed the back of her head,
"What are you staring at?" She asked,
"Well I was just ready to leave town and then I heard…" his words faded into the night, blending with the silent sound of the crickets chirping.
Caroline couldn't believe Klaus was bringing this up right now. "So are you here to gloat?" She simply asked, he gave a half smile, and then he speed walked close to her, his face inches away from her own. She could feel his breath on her face, his breath didn't smell like a murderer's breath, it just felt hot. He was looking directly into her eyes, she was looking back into his, his eyes were beautiful, in a cold killer kind of a way. Then he said, "No,"
He moved away from her and sat down next to her under the tree, "Maybe I should though, now the lovely Elena will know how it feels. She was involved in the killing of not one but two of my brothers now." Caroline felt that same lump of guilt in her throat again, but she wouldn't apologise, not yet anyway. "And Rebekah was involved in killing Elena."
Klaus smiled, "Look at all of you, all you're lives revolve around keeping precious little Elena safe, how pathetic." Caroline looked away from him, he would never change, she knew that now. "But I am sorry, Caroline. About Jeremy, that Katherine is a devious one isn't she." She turned back to look at him, "How do you know all this?"
"Are you doubting me, love? I had no real interest in killing Jeremy or rising that Silas from the dead, I was about to go try and hunt down Tyler or do something else more productive, I am sick of this miserable little town, and there's nothing left for me here, now, is there?" She didn't answer, she didn't know what to say. Klaus put a hand on her hand, his hands weren't cold, they were warm and nice to the touch, but she jerked her hand away reluctantly, "You don't understand!" Klaus looked a little angry now,
"I understand much more than you know, Caroline. I have been around a thousand years; I can understand people in an instant. And I understand how you feel, but I am not here to chit-chat about my feelings now, am I?"
She rolled her eyes, "Then what are you here for?"
"Wait, don't answer that. You don't care about anyone, you are a selfish jerk, you're parents didn't love you so you think nobody else can either, and it's true, in real, you are just miserable, and lonely and don't even have Rebekah and Elijah taking your side, that's why you make these stupid hybrids, so that you'll never be alone, so that you have this little army of sired bitches who have no choice but to be loyal to you because you have nobody to genuinely love and care for you! Elena has me, and Bonnie, Matt, Tyler, Stefan and Damon on her side, Klaus! And who do you have?" Klaus's facial expression turned into extreme rage, that moment she regretted what she had said, she had been too harsh and now he was going to rip her head off. Instead, his expression changed from ultimate rage into a sad, numb one. She could see the hurt in his eyes, "Do you really think this about me?"
Caroline nodded no instantly, "Yes, I mean, no, I don't. I didn't mean it like that…" Her voice trailed off. "Look, I was actually going to tell you to stop before you leave back at Elena's porch. I just…I just wanted to apologise, about…Kol, and Finn too. You had to spend a night watching you're brother's burnt lifeless body and I believe no-one should ever be tortured like that. It was too cruel." She added,
Klaus stared down at the ground, "You see, you're friends are no better than I am, with Kol and Finn they killed two whole vampire bloodlines. Do you understand how many vampires died for this?"
Caroline felt her heart breaking, she knew somewhere deep down that he was right, she looked at Klaus in a different light for the first time. She saw his goldenish hair in the moonlight, his face was beautiful, he had lovely dimples and… Cut it out! Caroline snapped herself out of it. Klaus was off limits, no matter what. And she wouldn't disrespect Tyler like that, she loved Tyler, she would always love Tyler and Tyler only. She looked away from him again, because she would be tempted to do things she would regret later if she kept looking at him, "I know, and I'm sorry." Klaus's mouth was a straight line when she looked back, "I let my guard down with you too much, don't I?"
She smiled despite herself, "Sometimes, even mass murderers have to let go of their big, fat, ugly egos."
He almost laughed, "Well yes, you do that to me, sweetheart. You make me a better person, that's one of the main reasons I have to skip town."
Caroline looked at him for a brief moment. "Can you just stop with the compliments for two minutes? And just appreciate this moment?" And then they broke down, the both of them. Because that night Caroline was not that misunderstood, insecure bitch anymore, and Klaus wasn't a murderous hybrid freak. They were just Klaus and Caroline, two very sad people in the world.