Caskett Meeting AU. When Beckett gets pregnant with (author's choice)'s child, the father abandons his girlfriend and baby. Beckett meets Castle, who is her OB/GYN when she goes to have appointments for her baby. (Anonymous prompt from the castlefanficprompts tumblr).
The nineteen-year-old gave a loud sigh as she wriggled around on the uncomfortable medical bed, pulling down on the hem of her cotton, white polo shirt as it rode up, then gave a small self-deprecating huff.
Could have been more worried about your modesty five months ago, Kate.
Her hazel eyes glanced curiously around the room as she waited for the OB/GYN to arrive, quickly moving her gaze away from the terrifying looking equipment on the table a few metres away. However, the posters plastered all over the walls of happy families which consisted parents holding their new-born between them was just as terrifying to her.
As she let out another shaky sigh, the large wooden door swung open.
"Sorry for making you wait," The doctor said, assuming that her large exhale was directed at him, but she quickly cut him off, her voice instantly showing her nervousness.
"No, it's fine." She dismissed as he sat in the chair to her left, next to the small screen and tools.
"I'm Dr Rick Castle," He introduced, stretching out his palm for a handshake, which Beckett returned weakly, willing her hand not to tremble, "Before we begin, Ms Beckett," He said whilst opening up the file he was holding in his right hand, "Did you just transfer to this hospital?"
Kate's eyebrows furrowed slightly as she nervously tucked a strand of her long, dark brown hair behind her ear, "No? I've been registered here since I was a child."
The doctor hummed, though he didn't seem satisfied with the answer, "Have you been having your prenatal appointments somewhere else? Because we don't have any record of your eight week or fourteen week appointments."
She looked down guiltily, already feeling like an awful mother, "This is my first appointment." She explained in a quiet voice, not meeting his gaze.
"Oh," He exclaimed quietly, his focus broken from writing on the papers, "Why did you decide to make an appointment at twenty weeks then?" He asked, curiosity present in his words.
Because I felt the baby kick and it stopped me from being able to cry myself to sleep like I have been every other night for the past six months.
Her outward response was only a shrug, and Kate hoped that he wouldn't follow up on her answer, which thankfully he didn't as he continued with the procedure.
"Okay, Ms Beckett, could you just lift up your top for me?" He requested in a calm tone, and she complied immediately, letting the hem rest just beneath her breasts.
She watched as Dr Castle grabbed a bottle from a shelf underneath the ultrasound screen. He poured a small amount of the clear gel onto his palm, then wiped it on the paper towel next to him.
Rick noticed Kate's hesitance, so he attempted to make her feel as relaxed as possible, "Don't worry, the gel is heated up." He reassured, but the frown stayed evident on her face. He slowly brought the tube of gel above his patient's stomach and squeezed, Kate gasping quietly at the sensation.
Once enough gel was applied, he reached for the transducer and began to glide it over the gel. He looked up at Kate, who still looked uncomfortable and extremely worried, her lower lip trapped between her teeth as she exhaled with large breaths.
"Have you been feeling nauseated?"
"Yeah, sometimes." She replied honestly, but failed to mention the fact that it could have been from the image of her mother's lifeless body crumpled over in an alley, the crimson blood soaking through her light coloured blouse, her face slack and pale. The image that would never leave Kate's brain.
"Sometimes. Not often?" He prodded, his eyes never straying from the wavy black and white lines that were beginning to emerge on the small monitor.
"Sometimes." She reiterated, not wanting to look at the image on the screen, not wanting it to be real.
"So not enough to be prescribed medication?"
"I'm fine." She replied instantly, the words she had been telling everyone numerous times over the past few months, the words that carried no meaning any more, the words that were lies.
"Have you been leaking fluid, or had any vaginal spotting or bleeding?"
"Not that I know of." She replied awkwardly, her fingers pulling at loose threads that hung underneath the thin cushioned mattress she's laying on as she stared up at the white ceiling, the bright lights creating black spots in her vision whenever she blinked.
A few moments of silence passed, before a loud thumping noise resonated around the entire room.
Her baby's heartbeat.
Her baby.
The emotion Kate had been holding back abruptly came out in a choking sob, almost startling the doctor as the involuntary move she made to curl up nudged his arm. The teenager pressed the heels of her palms harshly on her eyelids, willing herself to stop crying, because she knew when she starts, it just begins again. The panic attacks, the fear, the pain.
She then felt a warm presence of his hand on her shoulder, but refrained from peeking out behind her fingers.
"Don't worry, this is a natural reaction to the baby's heartbeat." Dr Castle explained, the sympathy and calmness and care wrapping around each syllable.
"I'm so fucked up."
Rick's mouth gaped open slightly at her shaking voice as she began to cry harder between shallow, struggling breaths. He immediately retracted the ultrasound device and wiped her stomach of the sticky fluid, slowly pulling her top back down to its original position before gently hoisting her upwards so she was in a sitting position. And even after those several moments, the patient was still gasping for air between sobs, so he brought his chair over and wrapped an arm around her, his fingers drawing circles on her shoulder.
"I know how you feel." He finally commented, but Kate recoiled instantly, her previously dejected eyes now filled with anger.
"Stop saying that! Everyone says that! You don't fucking know how I feel! Was your mother murdered in an alley six months ago? Is your father so drunk that you have to lock him in his own apartment and check up on him every twelve hours? Did you drop out of college because you couldn't stand the thought of trying to live a normal life anymore? Did you let a random guy in a club fuck you while you were high and intoxicated to make the pain go away? Have you cried yourself to sleep every night? Have you felt so low that you thought you could just disappear and it wouldn't fucking matter?"
Her voice cracked through the last sentence, and the loud cry that released itself from her throat cut through her reverie, but the doctor stayed silent as she mustered up the power to continue.
"I can't do this." She whispered, then repeated the phrase two more times, as if it was a mantra to herself, her body shaking under his grip.
"You know what all that tells me?" Rick finally spoke up, her eyes still downcast, staring at the white tiles on the floor, "That you're strong." Kate scoffed loudly, but he continued on, "You've gone through all that, and you're still here."
She shrugged, but the sobs racking her body slowed to a few stray tears falling down her reddened cheeks, leaving black mascara lines, "I don't want to be."
"But you are." He supplied, but she shook her head, "And you're doing it for your Dad, aren't you?" Her eyes snapped up to his, looking defensive, but he ploughed through, "That shows that you care."
"But I can't care for it." She said glumly, her hand gesturing towards her slightly raised stomach.
"You're at this appointment. That shows you care for your baby." Rick reasoned, still speaking in a quiet hushed tone. At her silence, he began to speak again, "You don't have to keep the baby, you know."
She shook her head fervently, "No." His face turns questioning, so she explains, "I would get hung up on the what if's. I already have enough of those stuck in my head." Her left hand lifted to rub against her forehead as she let out a large sigh. "Besides, as much as I hate my situation, I can't bring myself to give it up."
"Her."
The teenager's wide eyes finally made contact with his, which still looked as calm and comforting as when she came in, despite all the information she had bombarded him with over the short period of time.
"Her." He repeated, "It's a girl."
Kate's gaze focused once again on the small screen, plastered with photos the doctor had taken during the ultrasound. She could see everything so clearly despite the grainy texture; the small head, the little peak of the nose, the rounded belly, the little legs sprawled out in front.
It even looked like the baby is giving a thumbs up with her right hand, which despite everything, made Kate huff out a chuckle.
Rick immediately felt a flush of warmth after seeing Kate smile for the first time during the appointment, "See? She's cheering you on from in there."
"Johanna." Kate stated matter-of-factly, her glistening eyes never leaving the screen, "Her name's going to be Johanna."
Dr Castle nodded curtly, "A beautiful name."
She rolled her eyes good-naturedly, "I bet you say that to all the girls."
He can't even think of a response when he sees her donning a fully-fledged grin, her tongue poking out from behind her pearly teeth. He silently cursed himself as she looked away from his stare, but couldn't help noticing that her cheeks had blossomed a slightly pink tint, and this time, it's not to do with tears.
Kate assumed that the appointment must be finished, so she slowly rose up from the hospital bed and leant down to grab her bag, slinging it over her shoulder. When she looked back up at the doctor, he was holding out a small rectangular card for her. She reached out to take it with a shy smile, but it dropped with his next words.
"Call me."
Immediately, a refusal fell from her lips, "No, I can't. I'm not in the place to have a relationship right now."
His mouth opened slightly as he shook his head, "No, no, no. That's not what I meant." He apologised bashfully, skimming a hand through his hair, making a small area near the front stick up haphazardly. "I meant it as a helpline. If you ever need information, or help, or support. Any time, any day."
"Thanks, but I don't need your pity."
"But you do need a friend." He replied without a beat, "And I'm offering to be one."
"I couldn't possibly…"
"Please. Let me help you and little Joey."
"Only if you never call her Joey." She rebutted sharply, but the small smirk growing on her face contradicted her tone of voice.
He pursed his lips and looked upwards, as if he was weighing up the decision before responding, "Deal."
"Thank you, Dr Castle."
"Always happy to help, Ms Beckett. Be safe."
And when she pushed through the double doors of the hospital and returned to her car, she had felt like a weight has been lifted from her shoulders.
Might possibly write a follow-up to this story? Not sure, please tell me what you think, I'd really appreciate it!
Thanks for reading!
Lou xo