Coupling: McSexie.

Description: Lexie and Mark try to deal with the aftermath of another tragedy.

This is completely AU. I don't own any of the characters. It's all property of Grey's Anatomy.

Background information: Based after Season 6. Minus the gunshot/craziness season finale. That never happened. But Sloan and Teddy are together, Sloan trying to get over Lexie, Teddy trying to get over Owen. But none of the Jackson stupidity has happened.

Prologue:

She'd always thought her photographic memory would bring her greatness in life.

And it did.

She'd excelled in anything she set her mind to, because her mind was an infinite pool of facts. She could remember details that even the person who wrote textbooks or articles couldn't recall. She could just pull up the image in her head in a split second, and it would be there - in front of her.

As she sat in the hospital room she'd been in for the last few weeks, images kept running a million miles a minute through her mind.

She never saw it coming. She'd lived by herself before. She'd always thought she was safe. Tears burn the back of her eyes as she tries to keep herself from hyperventilating and starting another round of nausea and vomiting. She'd dealt with victims through her job before. She'd seen this stuff happen.

The pamphlets the victims counselor gave her burned a hole in her back as she looked over the side table. "1 in 3 women experience some type of sexual trauma in their lifetime." "How to turn yourself from a victim to a survivor."

God, those were so cliche, and pathetic it wasn't even laughable. It was just - disgusting.

Is that all that she was now? A statistic?

And all she could keep thinking about was his hands, violating her body, violating her mind. Because her mind would never heal. She had a photographic memory. Her mind would make sure she could never move forward from this. How he had snuck up behind her, whispered in her ear, ran his hands through her body, as if he had a right to do so. As if her protests didn't matter. Because to him, they didn't. He was bigger than her. He had a weapon. And he had her right where he wanted her. He even tried to rob her when he was finished with her.

When he didn't find anything of value, other than the necklace Mark had given her, he stabbed her, so close to her heart that she could have sworn she'd felt her heart stop beating. Is that even possible? Do people really feel when they die for a split second, then come back to life? All that was running through her mind at the moment was whether or not she had signed a DNR order. Never mind the fact she was in an alley right now in the middle of the night. She'd be lucky if anyone saw her before she bled out.

Did anyone know what to do with her when she passed away?

She'd always thought she wanted her body donated to science, for the greater good of future medical students who got stuck with a shitty resident who didn't like to teach, like Yang. But she didn't want anyone else looking at her the way she was right now. Broken. Scarred. Violated.

Would Mark come to her funeral? Did he care? Did anyone even know where she was right now? Did anyone care that she hadn't been at work in almost two weeks? Or that it felt like she'd been here for years? Did they think she just ran away? Was anyone even looking for her?

God, she was so exhausted.

She was so - tired.

Being in the hospital used to be a sort of high for her, something she could do nonstop running on endless amounts of fuel that she felt she was made of. Now all it did was remind her of how weak, - and helpless, she was. She couldn't even walk without the fucking crutches that were laying just close enough to her so that she could see them, but far enough away that she'd need to press for help in order to reach them, as if she was being taunted. Constantly reminded of how stupid she was.

She was so, fucking stupid.

This time, as the waves of intense flashbacks came over her, she didn't hold back the tears and screams. She hit her head repeatedly, as if somehow she could hit them to fall out of her head.

She didn't ear the nurses come in and restrain her.

She didn't hear them whispering for her to calm down.

She didn't hear anything except the quiet, and stillness of the room as she felt drowsy again.

She knew they gave her something to calm her down.

But she blacked out before she could figure out what it was.