Prescription for Love
Saiyuki AU
MA/85/39
An: lol I know the title is horrible, please don't laugh at me too hard!
Sanzo grimaced as he swallowed the warm Stella. He really didn't like the light bubbly taste, but it was beer and it was free thanks to a certain Roach, so he drank it.
"I can't believe you still have that old thing." He grumbled after a few minutes, glancing at the faded Polaroid laying on the bar top.
Gojyo glanced at the blond and then touched the edge of the photo reverently. He shrugged before picking it up and sliding it back into his wallet, the short chain clanking against the metal bar noisily.
"Yeah, well. What the hell else was I supposed to do with it?"
"Grow a set and ask him out, dumb ass. You've been pinning over him for what, six years? Hell, Goku figured shit out before you did."
Gojyo glowered at him, "Well it's not exactly like we run in the same circles, what am I supposed to do, walk up to him on the street and go, 'Hey, you don't know me, but I've been in love with you since high school.'? Yeah, like that won't send him screaming for the hills."
Sanzo snorted, "I introduced you once and I'm not doing it again. It's not my fault you went and enlisted instead of graduating."
Gojyo drew shapes in the dripping moisture of his beer. "I couldn't stay, not after what happened; you know that."
Sanzo leaned back on the stool and studied the pattern of chipped paint on the ceiling. He did know it too. Mrs. Sha's breakdown after her husband ran-off with Gojyo's mom was big gossip in their little town. If he hadn't already been crashing at Sanzo's most nights since he was six he probably would have been taken in by child services. Guess it helped with his dad being a Priest and all.
He shook his head to clear the disturbing memories of their childhood and then sighed, "Look, you're a big boy now, no creepy-assed step-mom and no military service holding you back. You've got enough time-in creds to finish up your med degree, if you want to be on equal standing with him, then just go back for a year and do it. Get your damn internship done at the local VA and go see him."
"Hell, man, he doesn't even remember me."
Sanzo snapped the front legs of the stool down hard as he turned and glared at the dejected face sitting beside him, "You took one fucking class with him six god-damn years ago and couldn't fucking ask him out even after I dragged your sorry ass with me to that party. What the hell made you think he'd remember you?"
Gojyo blushed furiously, dropping his eyes and chin until his shoulder length red hair brushed the bar top. Sanzo narrowed his eyes and leaned closer, an elbow firmly planted in the wet ring from his beer. He ignored it for now.
"What happened that night? You were…wait; I lost sight of you sometime around midnight and Hakkai…I don't remember seeing him at all after the countdown started…."
"Uh…yeah. See I couldn't take the people anymore and went for a walk…the moon was full and the fireworks were just exploding all over the place, it was beautiful."
"Poet Laureate, get to the point," Sanzo snapped whippishly.
"Anyways Hakkai was down by the lake, just standing there with this look like he wanted to toss himself in and not come back up."
Sanzo nodded, that was about the time his parents divorce had gotten real nasty; his mom taking his sister under allegations that their father had sexually abused the girl. He'd suspected the quiet teen had thought about suicide, but he'd never had any proof.
"So I walk up and stand behind him. We just stood there for what seemed like forever and then he started talking, real quiet at first. Hell, I could barely hear him he was so quiet, but he was shaking so hard and I could tell he was about ready to lose it. I reached out and pulled him back against me. I held him until most of you started leaving. We just stayed that way for an hour, and when we couldn't stand anymore we sat on the dock and he fell asleep in my arms."
"It's like some bad romance novel. God you two are fucking pathetic. You didn't even kiss him and yet you're still pinning over him."
"Hey!" he snapped, eyes flashing, "You've been dragging that poor kid around to how many damn schools and hospitals while you tried to figure out if you wanted a relationship or not. Don't start accusing me of being a sap until after you look in the mirror pal!"
Sanzo sat back and smirked, his arms crossed smugly over his chest, the thin golden ring on his left finger winked mockingly at Gojyo. "At least I finally got mine, what the hell do you have? A faded and torn photo from a high school New Year's party almost a decade ago."
"It's enough. As long as he's happy now, it's enough." Gojyo sighed and rubbed his eyes, he was tired of talking about this anymore. Nothing was going to change, he'd still be here in another six years, half dead inside and a smirking asshole of a best friend sitting beside him flaunting his awesome job and life and boyfriend and…Gojyo hated him and envied him at the same time. Prick always said what he was thinking, regardless of anyone's feelings and yet when he did it, well, he had a chipped tooth on the left side to show what happened when he spoke his mind.
Sanzo clinked his beer against the counter and studied Gojyo for a long moment from under a messy straw fringe, "So, what happens if he's not happy then?"
He had Gojyo's attention after that.
XXX
Hakkai watched the play of muscles with something akin to guilty longing twisting in his gut. He smiled at the happy couple in front of him. The young woman's thick black hair hung in a braid down her back, little wisps of hair fluttered becomingly around a lightly pointed chin as she glanced at the monitor, pale pink nails pressed lightly against her swollen belly and then up into her husband's eyes. Kougaiji smiled softly and squeezed her shoulder.
"Do you want to know the sex?" Hakkai asked, his dark mood masked by the flash of overhead light bouncing off his black framed glasses.
"I…can we? I mean, no, well…" Yaone nibbled her bottom lip, her deep blue eyes flitting between the sonogram machine and Kougaiji's.
The red head frowned for a moment and then spoke, his voice as always tight and contained, like he wasn't sure if he was being recorded or not. "You wanted to be surprised, didn't you? There's still two months to go, if you really want to, I'm sure Dr. Cho can tell us later. Am I right Doctor?"
Hakkai nodded, "It'd be a shame to ruin the surprise now, Yaone." He answered automatically. A part of him wanted to share in his patient's joy and yet another part of him, a part that had been growing lately, just wanted this all to be over and done with. It didn't help that he'd been up since four am with the Yuan twins' birth and was tired down to his bones. It was making him cranky.
"Yes, yes, we've already waited so long, there's no reason to get impatient now." Yaone mumbled, using a hand towel he rubbed at the slick gel coating her stomach and smoothed her blouse back down.
"Everything looks good- the baby is strong and healthy and I foresee no problem with the upcoming delivery. I want you to take it easy though, no playing in the garden or the lab until at least a month after the birth, do you understand me?" he admonished lightly, waggling a finger at the guilty flush that blossomed across her delicate features.
She busied herself with a loose thread on her slacks and then sighed dejectedly, "Fine."
Kougaiji grinned sheepishly at Hakkai as he helped her shrug on a matching pink sweater. "With all the hormone changes she's done nothing but mix perfumes. She insists she's going to come out with a 'cravings' line next fall." He stated pride evident in his voice as they stepped out of the examination room and into the hallway.
"I'm sure knowing her, it'll be a smashing success." He replied honestly, Yaone Maoh was an expert Nose. Her complex and subtle perfumes were world known and marketed by the most exclusive of agencies. Kougaiji had every reason to be proud of his wife.
He smiled as he showed them the door.
"All done, Dr. C.?" a chirpy voice asked from the office kitchen.
Hakkai flipped the sign on the door to closed and the phones over to night mode, clicking his tongue in annoyance as he pushed the computer's power cord back into the wall.
"Goku, when are you ever going to learn to lock your work station before leaving the desk?" he sighed sleep deprivation making him more irritable than normal.
A messy brown fringe peeked out from the doorway, half a sandwich stuck in his mouth as he chewed. A moment later the young man was by his elbow, peering around his side as he swallowed noisily. "Huh? But I turned it off." He blinked at the glaring blue login screen confused.
"Unplugged by way of tripping over the cord is not the same as logging off you know?"
Goku scratched the back of his head sheepishly, "Oh yeah, that. Hey it's not my fault the tape won't hold it to the bottom of the desk, you told me not to use the duct tape!" he accused.
Hakkai shuddered at the memory of coming in from lunch with Sanzo and seeing the young man bent under the desk holding the glaringly white duct tape to the dark teak. If Sanzo hadn't yanked him out from under there Hakkai wasn't sure what he'd have done.
"When do you have class tonight? It's with Genjo, isn't it?" he asked, desperately trying to banish the images from his mind.
At his boyfriend's name Goku blushed and craned his neck around to see the wall clock behind them. "Shoot!" he cried, making a wild dash for his coat and backpack hanging behind the door. "Oh man, he's gonna kill me if I'm late for surgery again!"
"Only another few months and you'll be a certified anesthesiologist, Goku, just remember that." A grin broke out lighting the boy's face up as Hakkai handed him his Anesthesia Manual of Surgical Procedures text book.
"Yeah! Thanks Dr. C., see ya tomorrow!" he hollered, door bouncing on its hinges as he flew down the steps two at a time. Luckily he just had to cross the quad green to get to cosmetic surgery. Hakkai shook his head and went to gather his own belongings before heading home.
He glanced at the small red envelope sitting on his desk and frowned. Grabbing it roughly he grimaced as he shoved it deep into his bag. He didn't want to think about the letter. He didn't want to think that it'd been a whole year and they still hadn't caught his sister's attacker. He didn't want to be reminded of the man who'd destroyed his one last piece of family.
He thought of fireworks and then wondered why. Shaking his head he figured he must just be that tired.
XXX
Digging in his messenger bag Hakkai didn't notice the shadow fall in step behind him, or the soft snick as the switchblade was flicked open. He had a seconds unease when the shadow breathed hotly against his neck, "Evening Dr. C.; miss me?" it asked humorously, and just as his eyes went wide in startled recognition strong fingers gripped his hair tightly and bounced his head off the front door like a volleyball. It made a thunksquish sound he instinctively knew was bad regardless of his medical training and then there was the searing pain as something sharp ripped across his belly as fingers bit deep into the flesh of his neck. And then there was nothing but the darkness.
A red envelope fluttered to the ground beside him.
XXX
He choked awake on a scream of pure agony as something hard was pushed into him repeatedly. Then he screamed again, eyes wide open and staring as harsh yellow light flooded his vision with swimmy stars and whorls of rainbow color. One eye was completely red and somewhere in the higher functioning part of his brain he thought 'burst capillary' and screamed again as the thing inside him moved.
A shadow loomed over him, haloed in red. "Shh...it'll be okay, you're not dead, though you probably wish you were. Here, drink this and sleep, I'm almost done." He struggled against the large hands that threaded into his hair and cradled the side of his head, panic making him try and lash out against the person holding him down.
"Stop fighting me damn it; I'm not the one that hurt you!" Something small and round was forced into his open mouth and he choked on the dry tablet. A small glass of water was held to his trembling lips and though he fought the flow of cold liquid he drank and swallowed anyways. His head flopped bonelessly back onto whatever he was stretched out on and as his eyes drifted shut he felt the red tinged shadow gently brush his sweaty bangs out of his face; it would have been soothing if not for the stickiness left in their wake.
XXX
"Just don't wake him. I barely got him sedated before he ripped out all the stitches."
"How'd you find him?" Sanzo peered into the dark room and frowned at the pale lump under the white sheets.
"Between Lex and 53rd."
"That's where dumb ass, I asked how?"
"I uh…I thought about what you said. Figured even if I did get my degree, it wouldn't mean anything unless he remembered me."
"So you went to try and talk to him?"
"Yeah."
"Dumb fucking luck then."
He shrugged and softly closed the door to the bed room. "Look, he's not in any shape to be moved. I'm not even sure if I got everything tied off, not with what I had on hand at least."
"His color is coming back and he doesn't have a fever. That's good enough for me. He'll be able to tell you better than I will if you missed anything in there once he wakes up. Keep me in the loop on this. I don't like the timing, it's too suspicious."
Gojyo waved the blond towards the kitchen; pitching his voice low he plucked a bloody piece of paper off the counter. "I found this laying on him. Want to clue me in on what the hell's going on?"
Sanzo stiffened at the sight of the blood soaked red envelope. The image of a human heart was stitched to the inside on a sheet of raw green silk. The thread was as red as Hakkai's blood.
"Fuck. You just keep him here and safe, do you hear me, Roach. Don't fuck this one up."
"Hey, I haven't been called that since pee-wee football man, and I won't fuck anything up if you'd bother telling me what the hell is going on around here!"
"Shut. Up." Sanzo hissed, flashing a meaningful look at the closed bedroom door.
Gojyo quieted almost immediately. "What the hell Sanzo, just tell me what I need to be on the lookout for in my own god damn house."
"Him." Sanzo growled and then stomped out of the house. Gojyo heard the Jaguar rumble into life on the street and peel off.
Just to be safe Gojyo closed and locked all the windows and dead bolted the door. No one was touching Hakkai again.
No one.
XXX
He woke again sometime later. There was a pale light leaking under the door to the room he was in. His right eye was patched and though his depth perception was atrocious, he thought he could make out the vague form of a table and chair on the far side of the room. He was in a bed by the feel of the sheets and the low slung foot board by his feet. A single window was curtained to his right and he thought he could see a sliver of moon through the dark cloth, but for all he knew it could have been a street lamp. What he did know was he wasn't at home and he wasn't in a hospital.
The clicking of the door drew his attention. He watched wearily as the knob turned and the room was flooded in clean white light.
"You're awake," the low, velvet soft voice sounded slightly surprised and more than a bit impressed as he not only managed a nod, but also a croaked out 'yes'.
"Good, wasn't sure I was able to tie everything off in time. You feel like trying to sit up? I wouldn't recommend it for long, but I figure you might need a hand to the head at least."
Hakkai frowned and groaned low in the back of his throat. The stranger was by his side in an instant, warm hands on his shoulders as he levered him up against a broad chest. "Hey, you okay? Maybe moving wasn't such a bright idea after all."
Hakkai glared weakly at the man, "I didn't have to go until you said something," he grumbled darkly, struggling to get his body to work for him as the man went still and then suddenly started shaking with mirth.
"You..." he chuckled before sliding off the bed and gathering a protesting Hakkai into his arms. "You're too funny. Come on, let's take care of things first, then I can check my handiwork."
Hakkai opened his mouth to retort something scathing but a spear of pain lashed through him as they stood and it took all his considerable willpower not to black out. The man didn't say anything as he crossed the room in three long strides, Hakkai clinging to his black t-shirt like a child, his fingers stretching and denting the soft material.
It took an embarrassingly long time to use the adjoining restroom. By the time he'd been cleaned up and put back to bed his face was a red as his savior's hair. As he lay there in the bed, head turned towards the window to keep from looking the man in the eye he couldn't help but start when those warm fingers slid carefully over his hip.
"Steady," he whispered, concentrating as he slowly peeled back the thick bandages wrapping his stomach, "damn, I'm afraid it'll scar, but at least you're breathing." He sighed and ran a hand through shoulder length blood red hair; Hakkai's fingers twitched to touch it. The inclination was odd, he didn't normally like physical contact with anyone he didn't know, but something about the man's calm demeanor piqued his interest. It felt familiar somehow.
"Where?" he managed, shivering as the man leaned in and ran the edge of a nail over the stitches. He was trying not to pay attention to the gaping wound that had been his stomach, but the touch brought on a sense of morbid curiosity he couldn't fight. He watched entranced as the man, with what could only be practiced ease, smoothed a section of the puckered skin with ointment from the bedside nightstand and then applied fresh bandages.
"You're a doctor." He stated suddenly, not sure why he was so positive.
"No. Not like you all. I've just got a bit of trauma practice, nothing to write home about."
"How did you know I was a doctor?" he narrowed his eyes at the man, suddenly nervous.
Gojyo swallowed and tried to stay calm, "ID was in your wallet, Dr. Hakkai Cho, Obstetrician at St. Georges'." he nodded at Hakkai's folded wallet on the table across the room. Hakkai could see his keys, cell and the bloody lump of his messenger bag laying demurely on the table like he'd just come home from work and dropped them off before sitting down to watch some tv.
"Oh." Well now he just felt foolish. He turned back to the stranger. "And you are?"
"Gojyo."
"Gojyo...?"
"Just Gojyo. You should try and get some more sleep, you need it. I'll bring you some broth in an hour." With that Gojyo stood up and walked towards the door. He paused when Hakkai called out to him, hand on the knob, face in profile and back-lit by white light; he looked like an avenging angel just then to Hakkai.
"Thank you, Gojyo. I mean it," he whispered the hated blush back on his face.
Gojyo smiled, nodding once, "No problem, Hakkai. I'm glad I was there to help this time. Get some sleep; I'll be out here if you need anything."
Hakkai felt his eyelids droop despite himself as he drifted off. How strange that he felt comfortable enough to do that.
XXX
"Where?" Hakkai looked around the room blearily. It took a moment to put things back together in his fuzzy head.
"Gojyo," he muttered and as if drawn by the power of his voice Gojyo pushed open the bedroom door with his shoulder and strolled in.
"Morning. Sorry I didn't wake you last night, but seriously, you were out cold. Slept like the dead, er..." he blushed slightly and made a big show of placing a tray of covered bowls and plates down on the table before stepping up to the bed. "Anyways, you hungry now that you're awake?"
Hakkai's stomach rumbled an affirmative as he opened his mouth to speak. Gojyo grinned and bent down close to him. As he slid a supportive arm behind Hakkai's shoulders Hakkai caught a whiff of something warm and musky; eight months of being Yaone's doctor quickly identified the undercurrent of cloves. Without thinking he blurted out, "You smoke?"
Gojyo blinked at him sideways and then smiled slowly, "Yeah, sorry, does the smell bother you?"
Hakkai shook his head, "No, I like the smell of cloves-I just don't know anyone who smokes them anymore."
Gojyo gathered him close as he reached behind Hakkai and fluffed the pillows up high against the headboard, waiting to answer until after he'd arranged the weak man to his satisfaction within their downy embrace. As he turned and walked back to the table Hakkai finally noticed Gojyo was dressed in sleep pants and a ribbed tank, their black cotton making his golden skin glow in the early morning light seeping through the curtains.
"They're more expensive than regular cigs, maybe that's why. I find they don't burn as much going down though and hell, I've been smoking them since I was 14; I've gotten use to them." He explained, shrugging his shoulders and adopting an easy slouch as he fiddled with the covers. Hakkai breathed in deep of the warm, cinnamony smell and wondered why it reminded him of cool winter nights.
"Alright, breakfast! Well, kinda last nights' dinner and breakfast combined, but there should be something here we can get you to eat." He grinned impishly as he walked back to the bed and settled the tray across Hakkai's lap.
Hakkai caught the unmistakable smell of bacon and almost groaned in appreciation. It was a guilty, artery clogging pleasure that he rarely indulged in, but just this once it might not be bad. Tugging his arms out from under the light blanket he hissed in pain as he pulled the cloth across his wound. Immediately Gojyo was by his side, holding the tray with one hand as he gingerly sat beside Hakkai and snaked an arm around his shoulders, propping him up at a better angle to relieve the tug on the stitches.
"Take it easy, Hakkai. I've got you." For some reason Hakkai believed him too. Maybe it was all the tender touches or the no-nonsense way Gojyo had dealt with each issue so succinctly that made him feel relaxed and yes, even safe, in the man's arms. He wasn't really sure he wanted to think about that though. Not yet. It just reminded him that there was apparently no where he was safe.
"What did you want?" Gojyo asked softly, lips unnervingly close to his left ear.
Hakkai paused, wanting the bacon but knowing he should probably have something lighter to break his fast like the miso soup sitting in a tea cup in the corner of the tray. He glanced up to find the corner of Gojyo's mouth twitching.
"Dead pig it is," he laughed, reaching over to flip off the covering paper towel and snagged a piece of still sizzling bacon with his fingers.
"Gojyo!" he gasped aghast as thin red welts appeared on the long finger tips.
Gojyo just shrugged and drew the food to his mouth, blowing on it lightly to cool it before he tapped Hakkai on the nose with the end. "It's fine, open up and say 'ahh'," he smirked as Hakkai was torn between wanting the greasy treat and being annoyed at Gojyo's frivolity.
Bacon won.
As he licked his lips he caught Gojyo's fingers in his own and turned the tips to see them better. Oil covered the pads so he drew them to his lips and lightly flicked his tongue out to lick them clean. He hadn't even realized what he'd done until Gojyo moaned in the back of his throat. His eyes flashed up to meet his and he paused, tongue out and hovering over the raised edge of the burn.
Gojyo's eyes were dilated twice their normal size as he watched Hakkai watch him. He licked his lips and Hakkai licked his finger with a similar, deliberate motion.
"Ha..Hakkai," his voice broke Hakkai's slip in control.
Dropping Gojyo's hand he rested his head back against the pillows, his eyes closed as he sighed softly, "Sorry."
Gojyo tried not to let the confusion and hurt show on his handsome face. He knew it was wrong to get involved with Hakkai right now. Hakkai was basically his patient and he was injured, badly. If he let either of them think like that they'd be in trouble. If nothing else, he desperately wanted Hakkai to remember him before they did anything. He shook his head to clear it and then reached for the miso soup.
"Drink your soup." When Hakkai glared at him weakly he chuckled. "You can have more bacon after you drink it."
Hakkai grimaced, he liked miso, but Gojyo had loaded it up with green onions and he really detested those. He made a face as he swallowed one.
"Sorry man, I was taking a chance with those, but wasn't sure. Personally, I can't stand them on anything but baked potatoes."
"Next time..." Hakkai gagged a bit as he bit down on one, "Next time, no onions."
Gojyo nodded, a smile seeping across his face as Hakkai leaned against him once more. "Next time," he agreed.
Hakkai wondered if he'd ever bothered telling anyone he didn't like them before.
XXX
"You're cheating."
"I am not and you know it."
Gojyo grumbled something about being Luck's bitch as Hakkai flipped another card.
"Don't you want to know, Gojyo?"
Gojyo looked at his hand and frowned at the pot. They were playing for pennies, but it was the principle of the matter damn it, he'd only taught Hakkai how to play Texas Hold'em yesterday.
"Know what? How the hell you keep beating me? Yeah, that you can spill the secret to, I do this shit for a living you know!"
"Not that, although knowing I'm wining against a world class poker player is thrilling, I was talking about the assault."
Gojyo's eyes flicked up and snagged Hakkai's for a minute out of time before he dropped them and fiddled with his stack of pennies. "Do you want to talk about it?" he finally asked.
Hakkai could feel the air between them become tense and stuffy; he sighed and then folded his hand. "No, that's alright, I'm a bit tired, do you mind if we end for the night?"
"Nah, I gotta clean the kitchen anyways, let's get you into bed."
Hakkai nodded politely and wondered if Gojyo really wasn't interested in his past, or was afraid of the answers he'd get from his questions. But more importantly, he wondered how long he could milk the assisted baths in Gojyo's small bathroom. Not normally something he'd have ever expected, but Gojyo's mere presence both calmed and excited him. He felt like he was a teenager again, sneaking peaks at the other boys in the locker room.
He hid a smile as he stepped out of his pants and felt Gojyo's eyes on him from across the room. It'd been so long for him. The heat in the look made his skin flush as he reached for the spare pyjama pants folded on the nightstand. Unfortunately, Gojyo seemed bound and determined to be a proper doctor towards him and stayed right where he was at the table.
Damn, he thought.
XXX
"Gojyo! Where do you keep the laundry detergent?" Hakkai called out.
Gojyo poked his head in the bedroom only to frown and walk back out into the hallway. "Where the hell are you, Hakkai?" he responded.
"In here!" came the muffled response from the vicinity of the hall closet.
Gojyo wandered over, cursed, and reached down to haul his wayward patient up off the floor bodily.
"What? Gojyo! I'm more than capable of doing laundry. You don't have to keep babysitting me." Hakkai replied tartly as he was dragged into the living room and set on the sofa.
"You sit there and be good. Read a book or watch some tv. Try and stay out of grimy cupboards for one day at least, will you? I swear you're trying to give me a heart attack," he grumbled. Rapping Hakkai's temple with a knuckle he leaned down and peered at Hakkai's right eye, long fingers gently stroked the thick brown hair out of the way as he moved a finger back and forth. "Maybe take a nap instead, you're still having some tracking issues, reading will probably strain the muscle."
Hakkai sighed. "The eye has always been weak, I just need my glasses and it'll be fine."
Gojyo stiffened up and walked back towards the kitchen, calling over his shoulder as he did, "Just take a nap, dinner will be ready in twenty."
Hakkai frowned, anytime he mentioned the attack or the pair of broken glasses laying untouched on the nightstand Gojyo switched topics. If anyone should want to not talk about things, it should be him, not some stranger. A stranger that found you, took you home, patched you up with expert skill and has done everything in his power to make you happy, a nagging voice whispered to him, a stranger who's not really a stranger anymore, is he?
He shook his head and leaned back on the couch, shifting about until he lay curled on his side, his arms around his middle protectively and his head cushioned on the armrest. He'd been at Gojyo's house for about two months, technically he was well enough to go home, and though he knew he had responsibilities at the office, especially the Maoh's impending birth, the thought of leaving chilled him to the core.
It wasn't just the fear of being alone again, even with not knowing what had happened with his attacker, but he realized he'd come to need that sense of someone else in the house, to anticipate someone else's movements and feelings. To know that if he died, someone would mourn him. That thought made him shift about until he could watch Gojyo putter around in the kitchen.
Today he wore faded ripped jeans and an old soccer jersey, his customary black slippers on his feet as he shuffled back and forth on the tile floor. Hakkai smiled as he reached in first one cupboard and then the next. He could tell what Gojyo was making be the way he scratched the back of his head and glanced at the wall clock, then the fridge.
"The paprika is in the left cupboard over the sink, middle shelf, far left hand side in the back!" he called out, giggling a bit at the look of incredulity shot his way a moment later when Gojyo held the tin can up in the air towards him. Hakkai smiled and closed his eyes when he started to hum under his breath happily.
He must have dozed, because it was starting to get dark when Gojyo gently shook him awake. "Gojyo?" he muttered, sleep making his face fuzzy. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand and sighed as fingers carded though his sleep tousled hair, leaning into the touch. He so enjoyed the feel of Gojyo's hands.
"I'd have let you sleep, but you've got a visitor."
Hakkai glanced up worriedly, Gojyo's tone was pinched and sharp, his eyes sad as he rubbed softly at the corner of Hakkai's mouth with the pad of his thumb wiping away a bead of drool. Hakkai would have blushed embarrassed if an annoyed voice hadn't broken across their tender moment like the Titanic hitting that iceberg.
"Cho, get your ass out here! If you're well enough to fuck you're well enough to work on your own damn patients!"
He flushed hotly under Gojyo's raised eyebrow at that comment and pulled himself to his feet, wincing slightly as he twisted wrong. Gojyo caught his elbow and stepped in close beside him, the perfect image of protective caregiver. Hakkai noticed he didn't let go or step away as they walked into the front hall. Sanzo stood there tapping his foot angrily, an unlit cigarette dangling from his thin lips. His blackberry buzzed three times in rapid succession; he ignored them all.
"Huh," he stated as Hakkai shuffled in. While it was easier to walk around since Gojyo'd taken the stitches out two weeks ago, he was still a bit stiff and sore when he woke up. "How bad is it?"
"Bad," Gojyo snapped, shifting forward a bit to stand between the testy blond and Hakkai.
"It's not as deep as it could have been." Hakkai amended, shooting a look at Gojyo to be quiet.
Gojyo spun on him, "Bullshit, I had to put pieces back in there you know!" His voice was bordering on hysterical as he jerked on Hakkai's elbow. Hakkai turned and faced him.
They locked eyes for a long moment; finally Hakkai placed a calming hand on Gojyo's chest, right above his heart and sighed. "I know, Gojyo. I know."
Gojyo seemed to deflate after that, dropping his gaze and shifting back to lean against the wall.
Hakkai gave the man another long searching look and then turned towards Sanzo. "He surprised me, that's all. Gojyo did a marvelous job putting everything back inside. How did you know where I was, Sanzo?"
"Him he?" Sanzo asked, ignoring the question. Gojyo tensed and looked down the hall back towards the kitchen. Dinner could be heard rattling the lid on the stove; it smelled like it was beginning to burn.
"I can't be sure, but I'd bet money on it."
"Dinner..." Gojyo mumbled, pushing off and wandering away from the two men. Hakkai turned to tell him to leave it when Sanzo spoke again.
"You can't come back then."
Both men stopped and stared at the blond. His blackberry buzzed once and stopped. This time he picked it up and glanced at the message before shoving it in Hakkai's face.
'YM = girl: Lirin, 6L9O, scream like a banshi. -G'
Hakkai imitated a carp for a moment as Sanzo sighed wearily and tucked the phone away in his pocket. "Idiot might have passed his certs but he still can't spell for shit."
"Goku passed?"
"Yeah, a week ago."
"I promised I'd help him study." Hakkai sounded more upset by the thought of letting his friend down than his patient's delivery. It just proved to Sanzo the idiot wasn't thinking clearly, especially if he was willingly associating with gutter trash like Gojyo Sha. Trash he considered as a friend, but trash none-the-less. Unless he was willing to get off his ass and do something with his life and even then Sanzo thought he'd probably still think that way. Just because he could.
"Hakkai, I'm giving you a direct order, stay away from the hospital or your house. If at all possible, stay here and don't go out too much. We'll all be fucked if he manages to track you down again. I'll call Gat and his idiot partner and give them the heads up. Roach, keep him here if you have to tie the masochistic idiot to the bed." He glanced at Gojyo and frowned, "Scratch that, knowing you, you will."
"You asshole!" Gojyo stepped towards Sanzo with a fist raised.
Hakkai placed a restraining hand on Gojyo's shoulder and pulled the man back against his chest, "First, you're not even in my department, Genjo." Sanzo glared at his use of the name; Hakkai ignored it with practised ease. "Secondly, I can't impose on Gojyo, if he really is looking for me, I don't want him involved; it's too dangerous."
Sanzo snorted at the same time Gojyo yelled 'bullshit'. Hakkai blinked.
"Please. You two are so fucking pathetic it hurts. The Roach can more than take care of that fuck up if he shows and if you really hadn't wanted to 'impose' you'd have killed yourself crawling to the door weeks ago, not sitting here playing Susie Homemaker. So suck it up and talk about it for once. I'm not your god damn mommy!"
His blackberry buzzed once again and he cursed under his breath, palming the phone and checking the sms message he groaned and held it up to the two men.
'Tell him I passed and Gojyo only cooks shoe lether.'
"He still can't spell." Sanzo grumbled, hand on the door he was out of it before either man could speak. "I'll send over a box of your clothes and a takeout menu." Waifed back to them through the wooden orifice before it clicked shut leaving them in stunned silence.
As one they turned to look at each other and speak. Gojyo reached out a hand towards him, his fingers just brushing the sides of Hakkai's cheek when the smoke detector started blaring. The klaxon had them running to the kitchen laughing, whatever tension that had been building between them while Sanzo was imposing on them melted away as they bumped into each other again and again in the small kitchen-turning off the stove and throwing open all the windows they could to air out the low cloud of smoke.
They didn't see the shadow across the street watching them.
XXX
Gojyo collapsed on the floor in front of the sofa; Hakkai's leg hung limply beside him as he sprawled over the top of the couch. Gojyo turned about and pressed his chest against the dangling appendage, his soot smeared arms crossed over Hakkai's thigh and head resting against his knee. He rocked his chin back and forth on the bony knee and yawned.
Hakkai glanced down his body and smiled at Gojyo. He reached out a hand to push back a lock of flour streaked red hair and chucked as his friend yawned tiredly. "Sleepy?" he asked amused as Gojyo shook his head emphatically.
"Liar," he smirked, tugging on the hair lightly.
Gojyo feigned annoyance and batted at the hand absently, "Yeah well, someone's been stealing my nice comfy bed, what do you expect?" he joked.
Hakkai frowned, pushing himself up a bit on his hands he winced once at the bad angle, "I have, haven't I? Oh, I'm terribly sorry Gojyo; I should have realised weeks ago. I'll sleep out here tonight, please take the..."
Gojyo placed a muffling hand across Hakkai's mouth. "Dude, it was a joke. If I'm not getting enough sleep it has nothing to do with you in my bed." Gojyo stuttered, his face heating up as he broke eye contact and stared at the fading paint behind the bookshelf, stealing his courage to finally say what he'd been trying not to for weeks. "Well, not in that way at least."
Hakkai's eyes went wide and then soft. Something shimmered in their depths that had Gojyo sucking in a quick breath and holding it. "Wait, it's not just me?" he asked, half terrified of the answer.
Hakkai opened his mouth, tongue flicking out and lapped at the palm of Gojyo's hand. When Gojyo groaned he surged forward, already deciding that the salt-smoky flesh wouldn't be the last piece of the man he'd taste tonight. He'd been fighting with the feeling of utter calm and security Gojyo exuded since even before that first really coherent discussion involving bacon.
Looking back on things, he knew he'd been attracted to the lanky man since those first few precious seconds of consciousness during his impromptu operation, Gojyo's fingers buried deep in his gut, his face a washed out red white blur, his voice and touch soothing and gentle. He tightened his fingers in Gojyo's hair, using it as a yoke to pull the man forward until one hand was clutching the back of the couch, and the other was on the armrest behind Hakkai's head as he tried not to fall on top of him.
"Hakkai? Wait, you're still injured." Gojyo gasped against his lips.
Hakkai growled in the back of his throat, eliciting a startled expression on Gojyo's face. "Gojyo, do you or do you not want to sleep with me?" he asked perturbed. He'd made his choice damn it, and he wasn't about to let the man's stubborn pride or sense of honor get in their way, he knew Gojyo watched him. He knew what all the lingering touches and excuses to constantly be next to him meant. He wasn't stupid and he wasn't so badly injured he couldn't make Gojyo scream his name.
Gojyo groaned when Hakkai licked across his lips, "Yeah…fuck, but you still don't kn…" Hakkai took the opportunity to silence the excuse by lightly cupping Gojyo through the stained jeans.
Gojyo shuddered and jerked his hips, hissing as he dropped his head onto Hakkai's shoulder. "Oh hell, he's gonna kill me for this."
Hakkai gripped hard, a bead of fear working down his spine, "He who, Gojyo?"
"The fucking Princess!" he gasped. "Damn it I told him he should have taken you home that first night, but I…he saw through me…knew I…"
Hakkai sat up fully, something wasn't being said and he wanted to know what.
"You mean Sanzo? How do you know Sanzo?"
Gojyo rocked back onto his tailbone and bit his lip. He refused to look Hakkai in the eyes as he reached back and pulled his wallet free. With practiced ease he flicked the snaps and pulled the faded picture out of the bill fold. This was it, time to take his chances and see how Lady Luck let the cards fall.
Gojyo handed Hakkai the picture.
Hakkai took the folded Polaroid gingerly. It was old, starting to yellow around the edges and torn in one small corner where the inside film was stained a faded dusky red. He realized it was blood and almost dropped it. Unfolding it like it would explode if handled wrong, at first he couldn't figure out what he was looking at.
"My glasses, Gojyo."
"But…"
Hakkai met his eye and pinned him there. "Now please, everything is blurry without them. I'm farsighted after all."
Gojyo stood and went to retrieve the cracked glasses from the nightstand. They were clean, he'd made sure of that, but it was still a reminder of the attack and he didn't like the thought that someone else had even dared to touch Hakkai, let alone get close enough to gut him.
The photo fluttered to the ground from its place on Hakkai's knee as he came back into the living room. Frowning he glanced up and dropped them to the carpeted floor in shock, the shadow that haunted his friend's nightmares stood leaning against the kitchen wall, a carving knife in his hand.
"Good evening to you both." The shadow said, stepping into the light. The man was a older than them, maybe in his early forties but Gojyo couldn't really tell. He had a timeless look about him, what with his platinum blond hair pulled back into a long ponytail and his obviously Asianic features. He was tall, almost Gojyo's height, and was thin bordering on anemic looking, but the muscles on those arms looked whipcord tight and strong enough to do the job. He moved with a feline grace and with the addition of the knife, Gojyo wasn't sure he could disarm him in time.
"Chin Yisou." Hakkai stated flatly from the couch. He hadn't even looked up at the man.
"Dr. C. What, no pleasantries and here I thought you'd be happy to have me back in your life?" the guy chuckled darkly and licked the blade. Eww…now he'd have to go get another knife, that one was obviously fouled.
Standing Hakkai bent down to pick up the picture. He held it away from him for a moment and then sighed, he'd look at it later, he guessed. He folded it back and slipped it into his back pocket and then went to stand by Gojyo's side. Chin Yisou hadn't bothered to come closer so they were safe…for the moment anyways.
"You've already taken everything I cared about and did a valiant job on me," he gestured to his stomach, "what more do you want?"
"Oh, I don't think you've suffered nearly enough. After all you did to me…my family, my patients, my practice! As long as you think you have the right to be happy," he sneered at Gojyo who took a defensive position between him and Hakkai, "As long as you're happy I'll be there to take it away from you, just like you did to me."
Hakkai bit his tongue before he said something he'd regret and then said it anyways, "I took things away from you? You're the one who raped your own patient!"
Gojyo glanced at him startled by the amount of venom in Hakkai's voice.
"You're the one who took a fragile abused girl and destroyed her! You're the one who made her think our father had molested her! Had made her commit suicide after she found out she was pregnant from your rape! You destroyed my family and after all that, all that you think it was wrong of me to get your license revoked and have you arrested! I should have fucking killed you with my bare hands!"
Gojyo was holding him back by this point. Spittle flew from Hakkai's mouth as he screamed at the man. For his part he agreed with Hakkai, if he'd known what had been happening, if he'd only been here to save him…. Damn Sanzo to hell for not telling him!
"Oh please. She asked for it you know. She already thought she was impure from having your father inside her, and then when your parents split all she wanted was to get back to you. You, her sniveling little brother who she wanted to crawl back inside your mother with. Twins," he spat the word like it was bile, "brother complex to the extreme. She fantasized about you, cried your name when we were screwing in my office. Made me sick to hear."
Hakkai lunged for him.
Gojyo just barely managed to get between them as the knife dropped. He heard his name screamed and then a gurgling wetness erupted from his throat as the knife bit deep. He dropped heavily to the ground, unable to do more than paw at his throat with one hand and fumble for Hakkai with the other. It took a second before Hakkai turned back to him, blood splattered across his chest and face, his hands a gory mess of tattered skin and stringy muscle, viscous liquid dripping from them as he grinned, a crazed edge to it that made Gojyo shiver fearfully.
Hakkai leaned over Chin Yisou and licked the blood from his lips. "I never want to see you again," he hissed, his voice dark and sibilant as he dug his fingers in deeper, the broken lens from his glasses slippery with the other's blood and fluids. He tore through the thick optic nerve with the jagged edge and hooked his fingers before tearing the eye from the socket. It hit the wall on the far side of the living room with a wet thwack and hung there for a moment before sliding haltingly to the floor.
He leaned a bit more weight on his left hand, pushing the broken heavy plastic ear piece in between the fourth and fifth rib, the intercostal muscle tearing as he jammed it in harder; his entire weight behind the forceful thrust. He twisted-a hissing sigh escaped Chin Yisou as his lung was punctured. Hakkai smiled. Something flopped against his hip as he jerked around, eyes going wide ad he stared at Gojyo laying in a pool of his own blood, a hand wrapped around his throat as he tried to stop the blood oozing between his fingers.
He laughed, his voice high and pinched as he realized Gojyo was dying in front of him. Chin Yisou had managed to take the last good thing he had in the end after all.
"Stop…'Kai…pleas…top…" he bent down and gathered Gojyo close against his chest, their bodies a myriad of internal refuse and bodily liquids. He didn't care.
"Go…jyo…" his voice broke as tears slipped down his cheeks as he buried his face in Gojyo's chest. A hand flopped loosely on the carpet and then clutched at his shirt back. "'Kai…love you…idiot." He heard whispered raggedly against his ear. He sucked in a mouthful of shirt and blood as things finally clicked in his mind, he'd done this before. A long time ago he'd been held like this and cried himself to sleep in these arms. Their warmth meaning safety and understanding; compassion born from similar circumstances.
"School." He choked out. "How could I…oh Gojyo!"
Hakkai pressed his lips to Gojyo's in a desperate need to feel warm again, but Gojyo was growing cold in his arms and if he didn't do something now, he'd lose the only person in his life that had ever meant anything to him. He looked around frantically, grabbed a thin blanket off the couch and ripped it to shreds with his teeth. He carefully pried Gojyo's hand away from the wound and quickly tied the strips of cloth around the bleeding gash.
Hands fumbling as he stumbled to the bathroom he found a stocked medicine cabinet and military field kit under the sink. It had scissors, gauze, a suture kit and enough painkillers to knock out a small elephant. He grabbed the entire thing and a bottle of iodine and rushed back to the living room. Gojyo'd managed to pull himself against the side of the couch, but it had cost him more blood than Hakkai wanted to think about. The blanket was soaked through and dripping down his neck.
"Idiot!" he swore, dumping the bag on the ground and tried to get the pill bottle open. The blood made it slick and after a minute he gave up, using his teeth instead to pop the lid and then force fed two of the tablets to Gojyo. As the red head started to go limp Hakkai caught him and stretched him out on the ground.
He reached for the iodine and dropped it as his cell phone went off in the bed room.
"The phone. I should…I need to call someone, yes, the ambulance, they can…Hello?" he stuttered, dropping the phone twice before he got it to his ear and jogged back to Gojyo's side.
"…Hakkai?"
"Sanzo? Sanzo! You must come, now, he came, he's dead, Gojyo's!"
"Wait a fucking minute!" Sanzo yelled over his rapid fire rambling. "Where are you?"
"Gojyo's!"
"Chin is there?"
"Yes, he's dead, and so will Gojyo if you can't get help here now! Please Sanzo, just hurry!" he dropped the phone and dumped the iodine over his hands and Gojyo's throat. The bottom half of his face and Hakkai's arms would be a dusky copper brown for weeks, but he didn't care, not if he survived, he could be blue and it wouldn't matter to Hakkai in the least.
"I'm such an idiot!" he cried, pulling the skin as tightly closed as he could and then wrapping the gauze tighter. In the distance he heard the sirens of an ambulance and police, but all he saw was Gojyo. "You can't leave me, not now." He groaned, vision blurry as the police broke down the door and went to Chin Yisou's side their side arms drawn.
The paramedics pried him off Gojyo and got him onto the gurney, he fought tooth and nail when they tried to separate them, but the cops finally piled on top of him and they wheeled him away at a running jog. He sunk to the floor and hung his head sobbing. He didn't care when they handcuffed him and half-carried him out to the street littered with bystanders.
XXX
"You say he attacked you first, but when we came in the knife was on the ground and the guy's eye was half way across the room." The detective leaned heavily against the table, looking him up and down like he was the worse type of criminal. Maybe he was.
The door slammed open and the Captain walked in with Sanzo on his heels. "Cut him loose."
"But Cap't!" the guy beseeched.
"The whole thing was caught on tape. He was stalked and assaulted and suffered grievous bodily harm after an attempted murder. No jury in the world would convict him for acting the way he did. Cut him loose and get his things ready."
Sanzo dragged Hakkai from the table and held out his hand to the officers. The two men threw their hands up and handed over the keys. The dull metal shackles fell to the floor with a tinny clank.
"He's alive." Sanzo stated flatly, "Get your ass in gear or I'm leaving you here."
Hakkai finally looked up.
XXX
"It's not that bad." Gojyo rasped, twinging at the pain speaking cause.
Hakkai curled up against his side and held him tighter. "Don't talk, the doctor said not to talk."
"Hey, you and me, we're doctors, hell even Sanzo can be considered a doctor, but that guy? Anyone who wears a toupee that bad doesn't deserve the title."
Hakkai frowned, but didn't contradict him; the toupee had been pretty horrendous. "I thought I lost you."
Gojyo pressed a kiss to his temple and sighed, "Never gonna happen, I didn't spend six years waiting for you to lose you to a piece of cutlery."
He tried to joke but all Hakkai did was grimace and snuggle in against him closer. His arms were vice-like around his waist and though it hurt slightly when he tried to breathe, there was no way in hell he was going to tell the man to stop.
"Rusty cutlery." Hakkai mumbled, face rubbing back and forth under his arm.
"Hey, none of my shit was rusty!" he gasped, trying to sound indignant and failing.
"That's good; they would have given you a tetanus shot if it was."
"Ow, good thing you were around to clean it all then. I hate needles."
"Gojyo?"
"Hmm?" Gojyo ran his fingers through Hakkai's hair and down the back of his skull.
"I'm sorry I didn't remember you."
Gojyo glanced at him and shrugged, then winced, "No big deal, it was a long time ago."
"I hate winter." He whispered, clutching Gojyo desperately against him. "Everything started in winter, but…but I love fireworks because of you. I love the color red and the sight of dozens of fireworks in a dark sky."
Gojyo smiled as Hakkai crawled up and kissed him gingerly on the mouth. Cupping his face in bandaged hands he murmured, "Fireworks…I think I can work with that," and then he kissed him back.
~Fin.